All the usual stuff isn't working for me anymore. I used to be able to go on my PC and dissappear into the internet for hours, having some form of conversation with someone...anyone and that made me feel better. Alongside music or movies or other such things.
Now, with just a netbook which we got for free (where the internet seems to cut out every 10 minutes or so) and unable to afford a new pc/laptop my escape is lost, so I realise just how lonely I am.
Yeah yeah man up and all that, shit that's what I usually say to myself but this is just getting insane. Life passes by at such speed you miss it, yet in your own world things remain stagnant, before you know it a year has passed and not a damn thing is different. Weeks or even months pass without contact with my "friends" and even then all we do is go out and get drunk for a few hours before parting ways again. I could try getting more friends but I find it impossible to talk to people without being drunk.
So at this point I'm just getting angrier and angrier at myself and my family. At least I have my job, as much as I hate it if I didn't go to work the only human contact I'd have for 28 out of 30/31 days in a month would be my bloody mother and brother.
I wouldn't even say I feel depressed, just trapped and alone and it's been going on so long virtually nothing works anymore, and tbh I'd really rather not go back to drinking a bottle of Vodka a night again (it felt better at the time but looking back boy were they some shit times).
Apologies for the rant but this looked like a good thread to do it in and I'd say it's somewhat relevant to the topic at hand.