Your favorite groaners!
- Thread starter Kolby Jack
- Start date
What do you call a sheep with no legs?: A cloud.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?: It was dead
Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?: It was nailed to the first one.
Why did the boy fall of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.
Umm what else:
My lesbian neighbours bought me a Rolex for my birthday, they must have misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch"
why is it that the last letter of the alphabet represents being asleep "Zzzzzz" and the first letter represents being very very awake "Aaaaaa"?
Thats all I've got for now.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?: It was dead
Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?: It was nailed to the first one.
Why did the boy fall of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.
Umm what else:
My lesbian neighbours bought me a Rolex for my birthday, they must have misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch"
why is it that the last letter of the alphabet represents being asleep "Zzzzzz" and the first letter represents being very very awake "Aaaaaa"?
Thats all I've got for now.
A friend of mine was driving down the road during the hottest day of the year, he was going to light a cigarette but as he was going to light it, the lighter exploded in his hand and set his hand on fire. In an effort to extinguish the flames he stuck his arm out of the window, but this just made things worse as the flames spread up his arm.
Eventually he was stopped by the Police and arrested on the spot for possesion of a fire arm.
Eventually he was stopped by the Police and arrested on the spot for possesion of a fire arm.
Two birds sat on a perch in a cage , one bird asks the other bird , how did this fish get in here ?
Whats the difference between Walt Disney and Bing Crosby ? Bing sings and Walt Disney
Two skinheads walking down the street, First one says "What would you do if a bird shat on you ?
Second guy replies "I'd finish with her"
Whats the difference between Walt Disney and Bing Crosby ? Bing sings and Walt Disney
Two skinheads walking down the street, First one says "What would you do if a bird shat on you ?
Second guy replies "I'd finish with her"
I tried getting a job as gold prospector, but it didn't pan out.
There was almost an explosion at the scrabble factory. It could've spelled disaster.
Inspecting mirrors is a job I could see myself doing.
There was almost an explosion at the scrabble factory. It could've spelled disaster.
Inspecting mirrors is a job I could see myself doing.
When I was nine, I went to stay with my dad in this huge custom build Swedish house. Rather than normal walls, it had all this rippling artistic glass, and stuff. One night, my dad tells me I have to go to bed early, because he's throwing a party. Grudgingly, I go to sleep, but around midnight, I wake up really hungry. I figure there'll be some food downstairs what with the party, so I go down, and I see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. This completely blows my mind, and we end up talking for a few minutes. Then I see a mound of white powder on the table. Being a kid, I assume it's sugar and start taking fingers of it and eating it.
It turned out to be black tar heroine. At this point, my dad walks in, and seeing me all fucked up starts going psycho on Jagger and Richards. They start having a bit of a fight, but then he heaves them against the wall, doing quite a bit of damage. Cracks start running floor to ceiling.
When I woke up the next morning, he asked me if I'd learned anything from what had happened. I replied, 'yes dad. People in glass houses shouldn't throw Stones.'
It turned out to be black tar heroine. At this point, my dad walks in, and seeing me all fucked up starts going psycho on Jagger and Richards. They start having a bit of a fight, but then he heaves them against the wall, doing quite a bit of damage. Cracks start running floor to ceiling.
When I woke up the next morning, he asked me if I'd learned anything from what had happened. I replied, 'yes dad. People in glass houses shouldn't throw Stones.'
I used to be a taxi driver but I had to give it up because people were talking behind my back.
A snail is mugged by a slug when the police asked for a description he said I dunno it all happened so fast.
I must have had my flies open yesterday in town as people kept looking at me and saying what a cock.
Shit on the Walls by Whoflung Dung
and Strange coloured Water by I.P Greene
A snail is mugged by a slug when the police asked for a description he said I dunno it all happened so fast.
I must have had my flies open yesterday in town as people kept looking at me and saying what a cock.
Ha never heard those ones I did get told loads ages ago but have mostly forgotten them only ones I can remember aredenseWorm said:
Shit on the Walls by Whoflung Dung
and Strange coloured Water by I.P Greene
How can you make a dog meow?
Freeze the dog and cut him with a circular saw! MEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!
How can you make a cat bark?
Dip it in gasoline and lit it on fire! WHOEEEFFFFF!
(Not sure this one works in English, it does in Dutch
)
Freeze the dog and cut him with a circular saw! MEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!
How can you make a cat bark?
Dip it in gasoline and lit it on fire! WHOEEEFFFFF!
(Not sure this one works in English, it does in Dutch
)
How is that even relephant to what I said?DoPo said:
Also, why do elephants have red eyes?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
Or have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?