Your Favorite Rant

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Colodomoko

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Feb 22, 2008
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It can be a rant about anything and everything.

Here is an example of one of my fav's:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-VBGduqs-o&feature=channel_page.
 

Shade Jackrabbit

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Aug 3, 2008
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Pretty much any of The Game Overthinker rants, but here's the latest one that I really enjoyed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhHu8D2oPic
 

Datalord

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Oct 9, 2008
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Foamy the squirrel: Drugs in your head
Foamy is hilarious
STOP WITH THE DRUGS, drugs in your head

Cream cheese gummy bear, rotting in my head, if you touch it i will kill you, and you will be dead. And i will bring you gummy bears on you tombstone, even if you don't want them.

go to www.illwillpress.com, then go to the list of videos, and watch "drugs in your head" and "gummy bear graveyard"
 

TwistedEllipses

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Nov 18, 2008
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The angry Nintendo nerd/videogame nerd short 'you know what's bullshit' feature on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYb3o8irBQM
 

ioxles

Senior Member
Nov 25, 2008
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Pretty much anything from Bill Hicks.

I think it's more ranting then anything else.
 

Labyrinth

Escapist Points: 9001
Oct 14, 2007
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I really like NewClassic's rants. They've always made me laugh, and I find great rapport with his point of view. As for examples, I'm sure he'd be happy to link a few to anyone who asked.
 

Colodomoko

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Feb 22, 2008
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Shade Jackrabbit said:
Pretty much any of The Game Overthinker rants, but here's the latest one that I really enjoyed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhHu8D2oPic
This is true, but I don't think we are ready yet.
 

Pseudonym2

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Mar 31, 2008
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Any of the ones from Network.
""I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!!!"
 

xitel

Assume That I Hate You.
Aug 13, 2008
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I think my favorite rant I've seen has to be NewClassic's Zero Punctuation rant Zero Incentive. Made me laugh, I agreed with several of his points, and it had kittens.
 

sonicmaster1989

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Dec 6, 2008
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The Nostalgia Critic at ThatGuyWithTheGlasses. He rants about old things that we forgot about, like Pokemon: The First Movie, Batman and Robin (w/ Arnold Schwartzeneger as Mr. Freeze), and Captain Planet.
 

Lord Krunk

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Mar 3, 2008
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I do enjoy Khell_Sennet's, but my pick has to go to Wilson's, if they even count as rants.

EDIT:
The Iron Ninja said:
When I hear the word rant, the first thing that comes to mind is Khell Sennet.
You too?
 

ParkourMcGhee

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Jan 4, 2008
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All the rants I went off on for English GCSE... actually got me a B with no planning an argument, setting up facts, etc etc etc. That was a sweet year. Not only that I got A in Lit - I seem to be good at understanding stuff ;).

EDIT:
Lord Krunk said:
but my pick has to go to Wilson's, if they even count as rants.
? The school in London I go to or somebody else :S?
 

Acaroid

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Aug 11, 2008
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Khell_Sennet said:
Well, I'm throwing my $0.03 into the ring...

2. AKA, "2 Gryphon" or "2 the Ranting Gryphon"

This guy is a professional comedian (stand up) who, years back, started doing rants and posting them on his website. His rants, being epic, then evolved into him doing his own radio show, but now and then he does still do straight-on rants.

The thing is, I get criticism or flak every time I bring him up. Why? Well, that depends on what your particular insecurities are. He is a Fur, and he is Gay. Either one of those will get shit flung everywhere like chimps with diarrhea, but I shit you not, this guy is the father of all ranting. He is my personal inspiration, and so good (both ranting and standup) that I'd almost put up with the stink of a furcon to see him perform live.

So, if you can put up with some fur comments (except in fandom-related rants, it doesn't come up much), and take his homosexuality with a grain of salt, here [http://www.ranting-gryphon.com/Rants.htm] is a direct link to his site's rant section, though if you go to his main page, there's a great stand-up skit on the front. And no, you will not be bombarded with Fur porn, you actually have to know where to look, on his ALTERNATE site, to see that kind of stuff.

And just putting this out there, but if Furs offend you so greatly that you want to turn this thread into the typical 4-Chan Furbash, just fuck off in advance, KTHXBY.

For the rest of you...
I highly recommend you listening to;
-Aging
-Abortion
-Holy Wars
-Vegetarians
-Telemarketers
-Thanksgiving

And the best, -Starving
this guy is worse than the bible, you listen to one rant, then you listen to the other, and they contradict each other. I wish I could just sit on the fence like this guy :p
 

Jenny Creed

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May 7, 2008
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I give you mister Quimper's bad guy speech from The Invisibles:

First and foremost, whatever else you may think, you are machines. Biological robots, operated by electrical firings and chemical spasms. You came here to learn the truth about things? Here is the truth. Things are simple: You forgot that you were parts of a machine. Because of your forgetfulness the machine is inefficient. We can correct your functioning. We must correct it. You, in your chaotic state, may experience our efforts in value-laden terms; feelings of degradation, shame and humiliation are common. Those states are simply the reaction of a damaged subjective unit during its return to the objective reality of the machine. "Individuality" is the name you give your sickness. Your deviation from correct functioning. Understand this: We have come to free you from chaos and uncertainty and "individuality". There are no monsters here. There are no demons. Your search for value is part of your pathology. Your questions are meaningless. There are no questions here. What is, is. Nothing is open to interpretation. Your search for God is over. God is in the machine.
 

Snake422

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Feb 12, 2008
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I love the Adam Sessler fanboy rant it's just so true and funny best Sessler's soapbox ever.

The link: http://g4tv.com/thepile/videos/36553/Sesslers-Soapbox-Killzone-Mailbag.html
 

Low Frost

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Nov 6, 2008
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Duckman rant:
And when you think about it, isn't that exactly the point? Parking. And driving. And shopping. And eating. And working. Somewhere, somehow, they're different now, none of 'am are the same, they all got chewed up and spit back out, and they don't taste like living anymore! Don't you see what it's like in this deranged Waring Blender of a world?! Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt... You never forget your senior prom... YOU think I'm "sick"? Well the only disease I've got is "Modern Life," a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freezeouts, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods, all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue, where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like, say, if some nymphomaniac telephone operators with the muscle control of Rumanian mat-slappers agree to a little Strip Air Hockey, it'll be over before it starts 'cuz some vowel-lacking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his Checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santeria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete, and even with all this, with ALL THIS, I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day, knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those Pearly Gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway 'cuz some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted Good 'N' Plenty to that same Santeria cult so does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails while Life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder that I seem DERANGED???!!"
 

Low Frost

New member
Nov 6, 2008
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And my rant about RE5:
Okay then. I say the preview for Resident Evil 5 and the first thing I thought was "This will be bad." I am a gamer. I've played Resident Evil since I was a teen. I am a young, black male in America. And I know quite well what people on the internet have said about this entire ordeal, good and bad. Most don't seem to see the problem, so here is a bullet point.
1. The developers of the game itself. Japan is world reknown for it's closed-minded, xenophobic view of the rest of the world. This shows in the media they create and statements by their politicians (see 1989, Japanese Prime Minister). Japanese media keeps a stable of the worst stereotypes of cultures everywhere and freely dispense them without care or concern. They will not offend themselves, or the caucasians who make up the bulk of their profits, but others see easily what they do not. Nintendo recieved a harsh critique when in one of their pilot Zelda games, the Muslim call to prayer was featured in the backround music (this was removed when localised for the U.S.). Capcom again recently had been called on a game preview where a creature clearly called out "Allah-u Ackba" (God is great in Arabic) before eating a cannabalistic stew (this has also been removed). Muslims and Black people are not the only ones who "cry and complain" about "supposed" insensitivity. Most people have not heard of Magna Carta: The Crimson Stigmata. Why? Because the group who brought this game over to the U.S. quickly realized the ramifications of trivializing the crucifixion of the Christ and changed it to something else. Or the Metal Slug series about the rebirth of Hitler and the Third Reich. All refererences to Hitler was removed and the prevalent swastikas where changed. It seems to depend on who you insult that results are made.
2. The developers are entirely ignorant of the trials of black people in America as evidenced by the line "bright eyes, simian strength and room temperature i.q.", all of which are popular stereotypes of African peoples in general. As mentioned before, the scenes showed hearken too closely to real-life episodes of violence and terror experienced by African peoples the world over.
Long story short, I do not belive that the game is racist, nor do I think that the makers went the distance to insult African peoples. Ignorant, yes. Blatant racists, not so much. These games have always been about killing monsters that look human and beyond the violence, few complaints have been made. The 4th game has been referenced often as a rebuttal to the racism argument, and would be considerable if the developers had not gone on the record and said that the game takes place in eastern Europe and failing that, Spaniards are caucasian Europeans, not the mixed blood Hispanics of the Americas. All of this could of been avoided had the companies spent some time with their pr people and got the hint that someone may take offense to what you have planned to show and say, especially black people in America who still fight to overcome centuries-old stereotypes and will not tolerate them being proported any longer. That said, the majority of these whistle-blowers need to CALM DOWN. Many have admitted knowing nothing about what they speak of on the subject, and rob others of credibility by crying wolf so quickly. Do some digging, get the facts right and if there is a problem, we will deal with it. And yes, the majority of the ignorant rabble who have posted crude comments on many of these websites do so due to their imagined anonimity and willful desire to hurt others. They do not, however, make up the majority of gamers like me, nor should it be construed as such, as it is as foolish and base as those who you lambast. I would like to see more of this game before my view is set, as should others. The game is not even near release and more information shall be availible later. /comment
 

Alex_P

All I really do is threadcrap
Mar 27, 2008
2,712
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Hmm... I'm gonna go with "Geek Tropes Suck [http://yudhishthirasdice.blogspot.com/2005/06/geek-tropes-suck.html]". I like it because it's constructive and well-constructed. And because it speaks to my fundamental dissatisfaction with "geek" subcultures.

-- Alex