Your Favorite Zero Punctuation Quote

[Snoody]

Oh Yahtzee, what will you do next. Leave your answer in the comments below! Mine is quite a long quote,

"At the beginning of Trunderworld, Lara has a boss fight with a giant Kraken. But the term ?boss fight? may be a little generous. The bloody thing doesn?t move! He?s just chilling out in his front room. You could swim right up to his face and shake your ass and he won?t even try to eat you. He just wants you to fucking leave before all the other oceanic horrors arrive for his housewarming party. So of course, Lara drops a fucking spiky chandelier on his head and lets him die in agony. This is not appropriate conflict resolution!"

Thanks Yahtzee!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

From the same episode as OP:

"[helping game publishers find ideas] Here's one: A genetically-engineered Taiwanese chef teams up with a newt in a fez to rescue his large-bosomed girlfriend from mummies. There, you see? It's easy. A breast cancer specialist with large bosoms journeys through time to pay for a breast enlargement. A race of bosom people set out on an armada of bosoms to find a new bosom homeworld. Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, STONKING... GREAT... TITS."

Or from the Dead Rising 2 episode:

"What I like about it is that it's a true watercooler game, and I'm not talking about all that Facebook game bollocks where you can boast to all your friends because you stuck a radish up an imaginary cow's ass. You get together with your other Dead Rising 2 mates and you can discuss for hours what combos you found, boss-fighting tactics and where to find the chainsaws and mankinis. Perhaps a romance could blossom that will last a lifetime if you discover similar tastes in weapons and women's clothing, but what we don't want to know is what you'll do on the first date."

 

[lozfoe444]

From Nier:
"I asked everyone I know, and neither of them had heard about it either."

 

[DevilWolf47]

Prince of Persia Retrospective:

Never stick your dick in a pudding. Yeah it might still be good pudding and you can spend all day explaining it but nobody's gonna eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

 

[Ozzythecat]

Alpha Protocol

"Mike Thornton is the ponciest ponce to ponce by the poncing parlor"

I remember just laughing myself into a ball,

 

[Calcium]

Two that I remember and love:

"The combat flows like a river of bricks..." Um, something...

"He immediately drove us smack into a wall and sat there picking his nose while the enemy leisurely blew us to Narnia." Halo 3.

In fact basically the whole Halo 3 review.

 

[Goody]

"As always your gun is your best friend
On which you must always depend
If you get into fights just look down the sights
And bullets come out of the end"

From the Wolfenstien review "in limmerick form"

 

[megamanenm]

"Kicking the door in and holding down fire until all organic matter in the room is fused with the wallpaper feels like it should be a last resort."

Don't remember which episode it was from but if anyone would like to enlighten me if they know, I would appreciate it.

splinter cell conviction I think.

 

[F-I-D-O]

"Why is war so mopey? He's FUCKING WAR! If I threw someone up into the air, sliced them 100 times with my sword, before impaling them and throwing their carcass over my shoulder, I wouldn't be crying. I'd be going HOLY SHIT! DID ANYONE SEE THAT? I AM A MONSTER TRUCK THAT WALKS LIKE A MAN"
Darksiders
I loved that episode
captcha: consider hutcha. I don't think the captcha watches very much ZP

 

[Elexia]

"Clearly this superpower's one of those ones that bugger you about a bit, like an invisibility power that only works while you're playing a trombone." from the Scribblenauts review.

I think all of the Wolfenstein video is absolutely awesome as well.

 

[amoamaremetallum]

...And whistled for a baboon!

 

[crudus]

I don't remember what video it is from, maybe multiple.

"Scientifically designed to get on my tits"

I have been saying it lately...a lot.

 

[Solo-Wing]

Isn't being an adult great? You can go on all the fairground rides, drink yourself to death, and put your dick in all kinds of magical things. Sometimes I like going to hospitals for terminally ill children and just rubbing it in: "Wow, you guys really suck at arm wrestling! Anyone catch the new R-18 rated film? I have - it's not that great. Hey, you know what would be funny? If the Make-A-Wish Foundation came around and you asked to be sexually initiated by a large, creepy man. That'd throw them a curveball, wouldn't it, the smug, philanthropic cunts!"
-Splatterhouse

God that one was awesome.

 

[snagli]

i have two, both from Dead to Rights: retribution

"in case you didn't play the first Dead to Rights, here's a quick recap: BANG PUNCH BANG PUNCH BANG PUNCH WOOF!"

and the other one:
"someone murdered his father, so he's out searching for answers, and he's letting his gun do the talking, and his gun only knows one very loud word"

love those two

 

[Impluse_101]

From Kayne and Lynch 2.

"It now breathes spunk insted of air!"

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

America is a fat teenaged virgin lying on the front of her bed staring up at her Edward and Bella poster while crossing and uncrossing her ankles and dreamily writing creepy stories about having filthy, monkey sex with the quiet Eastern European boy down the road and the child psychologist hired by her concerned parents gives the following advice...

"What this girl needs is a good, hard DICKING!"
-Yahtzee, BlOps...