Your favourite Joke Weapon in a video game

[Battleaxx90]

For the sake of this thread, a Joke Weapon is classified as a weapon that isn't meant to be taken seriously in the context of the game. For example; in a realistic FPS, a water pistol would count, but in a silly FPS where everybody's using blowdarts and slingshots, a water pistol wouldn't count.

So... what's your favourite Joke Weapon?

In my case, it'd have to be the Casual Gear from Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days. Basically, it takes the weapon of a particular member of Organization XIII and replaces it with something ridiculous. Roxas gets an umbrella, Axel gets two sets of pepperoni pizza, Xaldin gets a set of brooms, Demyx gets a giant tennis raquet, Xigbar gets a set of blowdryers... and Saix? Well, see for yourself...

Spoiler: Warning: may cause you to laugh uncontrollably.

Yes, that's a giant banana he's swingin' around.

(Oh and for clarity's sake, plus the sake of those who haven't played KH, Roxas uses a Keyblade, Axel uses Chakrams, Xaldin gets a set of spears, Demyx uses a Sitar to control water, Xigbar has a pair of magic crossbows and Saix uses a claymore. Now read the above paragraph again.)

 

[Pinhead Larry]

You'll probably say it doesn't count, but even in a game full of tentacle spawning black hole guns and murderous trash talking robot teammates, the Morph-o-Rays in the Ratchet and Clanks are fantastic. In keeping with the theme, so is Timesplitters 3's monkey gun.

Off the top of my head: Rayman's hand (POP: Warrior Within), the Shark Gun (Armed and Dangerous) the Holy Mackerel (TF2 and, much as it pains me to admit, I smiled when battering someone to death with a dildo for the first time in SR3. It's desperately trying hard, but the absurdity deserves SOME praise.

 

[Treeinthewoods]

Does the Rock-It Launcher from Fallout 3 count? How about if I only loaded it with teddy bears?

 

[Comic Sans]

My personal favorite is the Hand Cannon is Dead Space 2.

 

[The Wykydtron]

The Hand Cannon in Dead Space 2 is pretty funny. It's a giant foam finger where Isacc just says "bang" or "pew pew" when you press the fire button. It one hits everything

You get it by beating the game on Hardcore so it's more of a "look how awesome you are" symbol. I'd try for it myself again but the opening of that game has been burned into my brain from the amount of times i've played it/ seen LPs of it.

Plus I have a horrible tendency to hold back my three saves in fear of running out halfway. I should save after chapter 1 or 2 but I go for middle of chapter 3 and die horribly before I get any saves in.

Oh and the Drill Gun in Bulletstorm is funny to me purely because I throw multiple Gurren Lagann references out per minute. And the actual joke weapon is a giant fuck off robo dinosaur you control for a section of the game.

 

[Comic Sans]

The Hand Cannon in Dead Space 2 is pretty funny. It's a giant foam finger where Isacc just says "bang" or "pew pew" when you press the fire button. It one hits everything

You get it by beating the game on Hardcore so it's more of a "look how awesome you are" symbol. I'd try for it myself again but the opening of that game has been burned into my brain from the amount of times i've played it/ seen LPs of it.

Plus I have a horrible tendency to hold back my three saves in fear of running out halfway. I should save after chapter 1 or 2 but I go for middle of chapter 3 and die horribly before I get any saves in.

Oh and the Drill Gun in Bulletstorm is funny to me purely because I throw multiple Gurren Lagann references out per minute. And the actual joke weapon is a giant fuck off robo dinosaur you control for a section of the game.

Do what I did for the Hand Cannon. Get the game on PC, download a save file with it online. PROFIT.

 

[KlassixKAOS]

Red Faction guerrilla's ostrich hammer?

also I would have to note Call of Duty: World at War and the chance of using a ray gun (insanely over-powered) during the 2nd campaign mission.

 

[Stravant]

This isn't so much a joke weapon as a joke vehicle, but it'd have to be the miniature Bulldozer added as a drivable vehicle in the Back to Karkand expansion of Battlefield 3.

It barely moves faster than running speed, barely protects the driver and passengers, and has no weapons.

BUT IT IS FREAKING AWESOME.

 

[Kingme18]

This isn't so much a joke weapon as a joke vehicle, but it'd have to be the miniature Bulldozer added as a drivable vehicle in the Back to Karkand expansion of Battlefield 3.

It barely moves faster than running speed, barely protects the driver and passengers, and has no weapons.

BUT IT IS FREAKING AWESOME.

And the satisfaction when you splatter someone with it! You can almost hear them scream "FUUUUUUUUUU-!" Haha!
I'm probably gonna have to go with that or the hand cannon!

 

[DoPo]

I was going to say "Over 80% of the arsenal in Worms" but seeing as that doesn't work, then I'm almost out of options. The joke weapons are mostly extra unlockables I seldom get. The only thing I can think of right now is Faust in guilty gear.

Spoiler: Faust

In a game where people are using swords, scythes, chains or just brutal martial arts (and at least one uses a pool cue), he is fighting with an oversized scalpel. His other weapons aren't much more serious - he can pull out and throw at the other guy a variety of random stuff - hammers, cartoon bombs, doughnuts, little dolls of himself or meteorites. And he has a move that causes a flower to show from the top of his, well, paper sack and then it hides again. To my knowledge that move doesn't do anything else significant (however, I'm not a hardcore GG player, so I may be wrong).

 

[C F]

Give me the 7-wood in Halo 3 & Reach and I will be a happy man. Well it's not so much of a joke weapon when it has similar functionality to that of the Gravity Hammer. But still. It's a freaking golf club.

Also: It's amusing to (try to) own things with the rubber chicken/giant carrot in Runescape. Those weapons have some of the best absolute values when it comes to stats.
Now pay no mind to the fact that they're all negative values...

 

[putowtin]

The frying pan in Fable:TLC, useless if you just dig it up without finding all of the clues it it's location, but worth the effort, the resounding "Twonk" as you hit your enemies over the head with it, wonderful!

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

Giant Purple Dildo from Saint's Row 3.

Does the giant pink dildo from Saints Row 3 count?

Yes. Yes it does. You ninja.

In case nobody agrees with us, I'd like to say that whats'er-faces brolly from Eternal Sonata always struck me as a bit out of place.

 

[daveman247]

This isn't so much a joke weapon as a joke vehicle, but it'd have to be the miniature Bulldozer added as a drivable vehicle in the Back to Karkand expansion of Battlefield 3.

It barely moves faster than running speed, barely protects the driver and passengers, and has no weapons.

BUT IT IS FREAKING AWESOME.

Dont forget the golf carts in bad company

 

[faefrost]

Old school Doom style FPS Hexxen, the "Chicken" weapon was the coolest thing at the time.

 

[Eddie the head]

The black Sheepinator. Or the Groovitron.

 

[daveman247]

What about the air tortoise in EDF?

The thing was almost impossible to use because the missle that came out the gun was SO slow. You could run faster than the missle XD

But if it hit it did something like 9000 damage or something!

 

[mikey7339]

Old school Doom style FPS Hexxen, the "Chicken" weapon was the coolest thing at the time.

I was literally just thinking about that and trying to remember what game that was from when I scrolled down to your comment.