to be honest, I've never once shed a tear in mourning, or loss, or let it affect me in a negative way, never been torn apart.
This is NOT because I'm cold...far from it.
Growing up my grandfather..and in return the whole family adopted a viewpoint that goes like this.
in life, impermanence is the rule.. nothing, and nobody lasts forever, all things come to an end....it is part of the cycle of existence.
to allow yourself to become emotionally and mentally destroyed at the loss of something or someone is to be selfish, and dishonor the integrity of what is lost...meaning that should say 'uncle bob' die off, and you were close, and you stop eating, let things slack etc.. your disrespecting HIS feelings for you, your focusing solely on how they made you feel with little to no regard of who THEY were.
then comes that...again it's an unavoidable cycle...and to be able to continue that cycle should be celebrated, as like birth, it's a once in a life time event.
this actually later carried on with me as I began my Buddhist studies too, and the philosophy behind impermanence becomes a major factor as well.
Thats not to say I have not had horrid events happen, I've had lovers drop dead from " misperscribed medications" while laying on the couch with me...Had to identify the body of my best friend after a car wreck, had to make the final choice when my grandfather was dying of cancer as to " do we do surgery, and go for treatment, or let him go home to die in bed"
that last one was tough actually.. as my grandfather gave me that final say, my word was clan law...I had parents, aunts uncles hitting me left and right with their opinions.... I finally opted to let him go home without treatment and die peacefully at home, as himself..not a medicated shell of a man....and thankfully...that was the choice my grandfather wanted me to make.
so there are though times, but I find myself drawing more strength, and learning from the experience, and seeing it in different lights, rather than letting it do damage.
