So I was thinking about my mom just now, and some of the amusing things she's done over the years. So I thought I'd share mine, and invite others to share theirs. 'Cause hey, who doesn't enjoy hearing funny/embarrassing stories about other people's parents? xD
1. I was helping my mom move out of her old house and into an apartment. She had a ton of stuff to move, a lot of which was clothing. Seriously it took like 6 car rides just with her clothes alone. So I'm hauling the stuff up the stairs and into her bedroom, and piling it all up on the bedroom to be sorted later. My mom is sitting in the den taking a break and having a drink, so I started putting stuff into the closet. It was a pretty big closet honestly, with racks on all 3 sides when you step in. I packed that thing full, and turned to a bed still piled up with clothing, so I walk into the den to tell my mom that all of her clothes won't fit in the closet. She looks up at me, and just gives me this little half smile that said "oooh, silly boy, you don't understand clothing and how to use a closet. Silly silly man, let the female show you how it's done." So she gets up and walks into the bedroom, and I sit down on the bed watching, just smirking to myself. She stands there in the closet, looking at the space, she moves a few hangars, under the assumption that there was some hidden pocket dimension behind them that I overlooked. Moves a hangar here, moves another there, makes absolutely zero headway, pauses with her hands on her hips and then says. ".....well." I can't convey the tone in text of course, but that one word had so much resignation, surprise, and annoyance built into it, that I just fell back on the bed laughing. I looked at her and said. "I told you." She glowered at me for being right.
2. I used to work for Direct TV's technical support customer service call center. I spent about a year helping people fix their tv's and cable boxes and stuff. I used to tell funny stories to my mom about elderly ladies who just couldn't seem to understand my instructions to fix their problem. "Yes maam, all you need to do is press channel up 1 time to put the tv on channel 3. Then you will be able to watch your programs." "...but I don't want to watch channel 3! I want to watch channel 27, that's where Wheel of Fortune is!" *head in hands while I speak* "Yes maam, I understand that, I'm talking about the tv channel, not the cable box channel." "I just want to watch Pat Sajack!" "I know maam! I'm trying to help you do that, please just press channel up 1 time on the tv!" She almost fell out of her chair one time when I told her that story.
*Fast forward 10+ years, I'm talking to my mom on the phone after she just got a brand new tv with a built in DVD player.* "So how's the new tv mom?"
"Oh, it's fine, I watched a DVD on it last night. I saw *name of movie I forget* and it was really good, but now I'm just reading a book."
"....why?"
"Oh, because something's wrong with the tv, I can't get it back to the cable setting. So I'm just going to wait until tomorrow and put in a call to the company for a service call, and have them send a person out to fix it."
"......um, mom, that's not a hard thing to fix."
"Oh it's ok really, I'll just have them fix it."
"Mom...I can tell you how to fix it."
"No really it's ok."
"MOM, seriously, I used to get paid to do this every day for like a year. This is NOT something that
requires a service call to your house. Those cost money."
"Oh, ok fine, what do I do."
*Walk her through the very simple process of changing the tv channel settings back to the one for the cable input, instead of the DVD input.*
"HEY! Look at that! It's working!"
"I told you it was easy."
"You're right!"
"...mom."
"Yeah?"
"You remember that story I told you a while ago, about the elderly lady that took 30 minutes for me to get her to change her tv channel?"
"....yes."
"Congratulations...you're now her."
"Oh shut up."
So what funny/goofy stories do you have about your mom?
1. I was helping my mom move out of her old house and into an apartment. She had a ton of stuff to move, a lot of which was clothing. Seriously it took like 6 car rides just with her clothes alone. So I'm hauling the stuff up the stairs and into her bedroom, and piling it all up on the bedroom to be sorted later. My mom is sitting in the den taking a break and having a drink, so I started putting stuff into the closet. It was a pretty big closet honestly, with racks on all 3 sides when you step in. I packed that thing full, and turned to a bed still piled up with clothing, so I walk into the den to tell my mom that all of her clothes won't fit in the closet. She looks up at me, and just gives me this little half smile that said "oooh, silly boy, you don't understand clothing and how to use a closet. Silly silly man, let the female show you how it's done." So she gets up and walks into the bedroom, and I sit down on the bed watching, just smirking to myself. She stands there in the closet, looking at the space, she moves a few hangars, under the assumption that there was some hidden pocket dimension behind them that I overlooked. Moves a hangar here, moves another there, makes absolutely zero headway, pauses with her hands on her hips and then says. ".....well." I can't convey the tone in text of course, but that one word had so much resignation, surprise, and annoyance built into it, that I just fell back on the bed laughing. I looked at her and said. "I told you." She glowered at me for being right.
2. I used to work for Direct TV's technical support customer service call center. I spent about a year helping people fix their tv's and cable boxes and stuff. I used to tell funny stories to my mom about elderly ladies who just couldn't seem to understand my instructions to fix their problem. "Yes maam, all you need to do is press channel up 1 time to put the tv on channel 3. Then you will be able to watch your programs." "...but I don't want to watch channel 3! I want to watch channel 27, that's where Wheel of Fortune is!" *head in hands while I speak* "Yes maam, I understand that, I'm talking about the tv channel, not the cable box channel." "I just want to watch Pat Sajack!" "I know maam! I'm trying to help you do that, please just press channel up 1 time on the tv!" She almost fell out of her chair one time when I told her that story.
*Fast forward 10+ years, I'm talking to my mom on the phone after she just got a brand new tv with a built in DVD player.* "So how's the new tv mom?"
"Oh, it's fine, I watched a DVD on it last night. I saw *name of movie I forget* and it was really good, but now I'm just reading a book."
"....why?"
"Oh, because something's wrong with the tv, I can't get it back to the cable setting. So I'm just going to wait until tomorrow and put in a call to the company for a service call, and have them send a person out to fix it."
"......um, mom, that's not a hard thing to fix."
"Oh it's ok really, I'll just have them fix it."
"Mom...I can tell you how to fix it."
"No really it's ok."
"MOM, seriously, I used to get paid to do this every day for like a year. This is NOT something that
requires a service call to your house. Those cost money."
"Oh, ok fine, what do I do."
*Walk her through the very simple process of changing the tv channel settings back to the one for the cable input, instead of the DVD input.*
"HEY! Look at that! It's working!"
"I told you it was easy."
"You're right!"
"...mom."
"Yeah?"
"You remember that story I told you a while ago, about the elderly lady that took 30 minutes for me to get her to change her tv channel?"
"....yes."
"Congratulations...you're now her."
"Oh shut up."
So what funny/goofy stories do you have about your mom?
