Your Last Dick Move

[The_Chief]

me and my friends were fucking around, and my friend nick was doing jumping jacks with his shirt over his face. so i went to go kick him in the stomach, he bent over. i kicked him in the eye. i felt like the biggest dick. but then our buffalo wings came.

you need focus medication lol

hey we were waiting an hour, and i hadnt eaten since 9, it was like 8. i was hungry. and i apoligized and handed him the ranch. and they were some good ass wings brotha. can you focus when there are hot wings to be eaten?

 

[Leorex]

I totaly sexually harassed this girl on a bus.
I was 9, but still, it was mean.

How long ago was that?

that was 13 years ago.

Ah, so if you did that now, the police would arrest you.

well i try to keep my hands away from people.

 

[Dorian]

I hacked off all of my friend's on my Xbox LIVE list. It was warranted, though.

 

[Alphabeties]

I slammed into this elderly woman (BY ACCIDENT!!!)
who apparently had MS and was walking properly for the first time in months.

yeah...still makes me cringe..

 

[Smurfy 0151]

I was a lobby leader in a game of L4D with 2 friends. We were waiting for a 4th with a mic to show up, and I kicked everyone who didn't have one. Finally, someone without a mic came in, and right as I was about to kick them, he plugged his in and said 'there, I got my mic working, can you guys hear me?' And I said, 'sorry not fast enough' and kicked him anyways :-D

 

[Steeveeo]

I was playing a strategy game, flooded my friend's base with Mine Layers and set them all mining. Then I force-killed all my mine layers at once, since they wouldn't have made it back out anyway. The splash damage from all of em dying at once triggered ALL the mines, looked like a giant frikkin shockwave as my friend's base was decimated from the chain reaction.

This particular game's base building takes ages, especially on this map which had very little resourcing.

I had wasted about 3-4 hours of my friend's well-spent time on one of the cheapest tactics ever.

Nothing as bad as what I am reading in this thread though...

 

[traceur_]

Before I say what it was, let me assure you that no sincere racism is involved in exchanges between me and this person. There is this guy in my grade at school, he calls me "emo" (which I have no problem with) because I have slight bags under my eyes and I call him "arab" because he looks middle eastern (neither of us have a problem with it, just jokes) and on the anniversary of 9/11 I made a joke about him blowing up the towers, then I found out that his mother was killed in the 9/11 attacks. I felt like such a dick.

 

[evilninja60]

my friend and i were in my car and i was driving. he kept messing with my radio even after i told him to stop. i told him to look out the window there was a hot girl mowing her lawn. he look and i make a hard left thus smacking his face into my window....hard.

 

[CIA]

I asked my friend very loudly in a public place "So, how was the sex with the pig?"

 

[chickenlord]

hmm...i like to call it the sit and twist...

 

[Worgen]

way back in the day when my parents still made me go to extendacare so they could get out of the house and have a night on the town, one day they got my wendys and while I was at the center there was this little white girl and boy watching me eat intently and looking damn pathetic, I kept calling them names and telling them to go away and eventualy one took a drink from my soda, I told on them but the staff were as helpfull as you would expect so I spend a good 10 minutes doing the "stop hitting yourself thing to them". Its weird that I still feel like a dick for doing that even 20 years or so later

 

[mike1921]

I remember a day at school i walked into the social room and everyone was really silent so i just say

'Wow, whos funeral is it?'

A girl then bursts into tears and runs out of the room.

It was later explained to me that her dad died earlier that morning.

Needless to say i felt like a complete and utter moron.

..........That is mortifying.

group of 5 or 6 year old kids walked by and i yelled out "SANTAS NOT REAL!" and they all burst into tears.

Lol, awesome.

I asked my friend very loudly in a public place "So, how was the sex with the pig?"

I hope to god that was either to humiliate him or to insult his GF or wife.

I totaly sexually harassed this girl on a bus.
I was 9, but still, it was mean.

Details please, I don't know how much of a dick to think you are unless I know what happened.

way back in the day when my parents still made me go to extendacare so they could get out of the house and have a night on the town, one day they got my wendys and while I was at the center there was this little white girl and boy watching me eat intently and looking damn pathetic, I kept calling them names and telling them to go away and eventualy one took a drink from my soda, I told on them but the staff were as helpfull as you would expect so I spend a good 10 minutes doing the "stop hitting yourself thing to them". Its weird that I still feel like a dick for doing that even 20 years or so later

It's weirder that you felt like a dick period, well I get feeling like a dick for the one that didn't drink out of your soda thing, the one who did deserved it.

 

[sheic99]

Some ***** cut me off sped up as I was changing lanes, so I couldn't. I slow down a lot and ride her ass with my brights on. I roll down my windows and start blasting Slipknot as loud as my radio would go. I was only behind for only a block and a half, but it scared the shit out of her.

 

[iJosh]

I got mad at my girlfriend for talking to a guy.

So I fucked her best friend. Then Dumped both of them. It was fun.

Only to realize, I now have to wash my dishes. =(

 

[mike1921]

Some ***** cut me off sped up as I was changing lanes, so I couldn't. I slow down a lot and ride her ass with my brights on. I roll down my windows and start blasting Slipknot as loud as my radio would go. I was only behind for only a block and a half, but it scared the shit out of her.

I congratulate you for that.

I got mad at my girlfriend for talking to a guy.

So I fucked her best friend. Then Dumped both of them. It was fun.

Only to realize, I now have to wash my dishes. =(

Ok, I don't know which line makes you the biggest dick.

 

[Floodclaw]

I played as Maxi in Soulcalibur IV. Against a real person.

 

[iJosh]

Some ***** cut me off sped up as I was changing lanes, so I couldn't. I slow down a lot and ride her ass with my brights on. I roll down my windows and start blasting Slipknot as loud as my radio would go. I was only behind for only a block and a half, but it scared the shit out of her.

I congratulate you for that.

I got mad at my girlfriend for talking to a guy.

So I fucked her best friend. Then Dumped both of them. It was fun.

Only to realize, I now have to wash my dishes. =(

Ok, I don't know which line makes you the biggest dick.

I know. I was a dick back then. I'm sorry. =(

 

[Zeke the Freak]

WWWWwweeeeeLLLLLL...
I drilled a hole in my freinds light bulb.
Then i filled it up to the filliment with my homebrew napalm.
I insert a small packet of black powder (to direct the blast).
I inserted it so it faces EXACTLY towards his (MY) new (STOLEN) blankets (MY FUCKING GRANDMA GAVE ME THOSE! before she went to a better place. florida).
Then I waited for him to flick the light switch on, then BOOSH!
It failed horribly and i ended up helping him buy a new bed, couch, liquer cabinet and paint the walls.

 

[The Shade]

Some people who looked thoroughly lost at the college a couple days ago asked me for directions to the main entrance. So I gave them their directions. Except I was directing them to the on-campus bar. Worst part is, I was actually headed to the main entrance myself.

*zing*

 

[Zeke the Freak]

Another funny time is when my asshole friend of mine cheated with my girlfreind.
He always drove down a dirt road to get to work in the morinin. So I went all macgyver and made a land mine (tack, pill bottle, shotgun shell) and burried it where his right tire tracks were. So I hid in a bush and watched from a far (like 100 feet away with binoculars) and it worked out WAY better then i thought it would. He thought he was getting shot at so he ducked in his car for like, half an hour. By then the cops rolled and an it was time for me to make like a tree and get the hell out of there.