Your most BS homework assignment

[RazgrizInferno]

In a college engineering course, I had to write a 20 page lab report about nothing. The entire lab literally consisted of weighing 12 identical springs on a balance.

It was easily the most painfully pointless thing I have ever done, in my entire life.

 

[Glaive_21842]

I'm a freshman in college at the moment and I'm taking a technical writing class. I recently completed a 5 page research paper on cyber security that was required to be single-spaced, 1-inch margins, and 12 point font. If that wasn't enough, the sources had to be "academic" meaning they had to be articles out of scientific journals. This meant I couldn't just google search my information, I had to go to special websites and hope someone had written about something that was broad enough to help me understand the fucking subject.

So escapist, I want to know if you can possibly top this assignment on the bullshit meter


edit:

forgot to mention this is a 1 credit hour class and a lot of the paper had to do with the history of the subject, which these stupid academic articles don't fucking have.

easy. i had to write a report in GYM once! who the fuck writes reports in gym?

 

[ELD3RGoD]

I've been given the task of making 2 fully functioning amazing games in 2 months using 2 different engines and no experience of Maya or mudbox... Yeah, not gunna happen.

 

[SNIPERFOX ft. Harry P.Ness]

My religion teacher. I'm an athiest & i still have to do religion, shes makes us write stuff out like 5 pages of jesuses history, how much good he has done, how you can feel him inside you( stay away from the bathing suit area if you exist jesus!)
and most of it ends in:

I beleive in the lord our god & jesus christ.

I never do my religion. i flunked it out last term, and looks like it's gonna happen again. who cares though? i got straight a's & b's in all my other stuff!

 

[Doclector]

5000 words. On what?

Explain how themes of duality are explored in Jekyll and Hyde.

Wait...you want me to stretch the basic premise of the book, that Jekyll and Hyde are two sides of the same person, over 5000 words!?

Instead I ended up coming out with a load of crap about opium abuse, the nature of Victorian London, and the fear of science. When really? I think it Ea's just a damn clever horror idea.

I got an A for English literature. Dear god English literature is so screwed.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Reading this thread made me realize I was supposed to read the next few chapters in the book Killer Angels and fill out a booklet on the chapter.

Balls to that, really, it's a holiday.

 

[thylasos]

OP: Welcome to the world of academic writing. What you've been asked to do is entirely standard.

I've had to familiarise myself with three various referencing systems, and it's not fun, but it needs doing.

 

[claymoreguy18]

Making a costume of a nun so that I could dress up in it the next day. I'm a guy I can't sew and I certainly don't have the physique to pull off the nun look.

 

[Arnoxthe1]

The most BS? Oh, that's easy.

You see, we had a couple very retarded Geometry class traditions and one of them was where we had to make these origami shapes. The first ones were somewhat easy like a tetrahedron but later on in the class we had to make much more BS shapes like these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compound_of_five_octahedra

And let me tell you, some of those shapes took a long time to make and even THEN, it was really easy to screw the later ones up. And what geometry lesson did I learn or what lesson was I supposed to learn? Not a darn bloody thing. Now don't get me wrong when I say what happened next. I am NOT a habitual cheater by a very long shot but, heck, the whole project was so bad, it was one of the only assignments that I ever cheated on in my life. It sucked so bad that I felt that using some of the other shapes that past graduates had made was perfectly justified.

I got caught in the end so I still had to do them and in a more limited amount of time too but man I hated it so much. Don't even get me started on the other fag projects I had to do for that horrible class. >.>

 

[crazy_egyptian]

I know how you feel. I had to do an extended essay - a 4000 word essay with all 'academic' sources on any topic I wanted. The problem is, the subject has to be so specific, no academic source will be able to help. Bleh...stupid IB.

Oh jesus, I'm doing THAT course, we just haven't started that bullshit yet.

But to the topic at hand, one of my teachers told us, that for homework, we were to watch the Big Bang Theory.
Now, I'm not trying to be offensive to the show or its fans, but I don't see the academic value of this unless I'm trying to learn how to write comedy.

 

[Thimblefoot]

These examples remind me of why I hated college and never went to uni, writing pointless essays, filled with padding about things you can sum up in a paragraph or sentance.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I'm a freshman in college at the moment and I'm taking a technical writing class. I recently completed a 5 page research paper on cyber security that was required to be single-spaced, 1-inch margins, and 12 point font. If that wasn't enough, the sources had to be "academic" meaning they had to be articles out of scientific journals. This meant I couldn't just google search my information, I had to go to special websites and hope someone had written about something that was broad enough to help me understand the fucking subject.

I think I might be crazy or old or something. That's how I write my papers even when I'm not told to do so. Honestly, were I a professor, I would throw out papers that use random web sites as sources without clearing it first. Yes I know one can research on the internet and find out what they need to know. They can also go directly to source material, pull information and draw conclusions themselves. Which is what I always thought was the point of a research paper.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I'm in 10th grade and i just got an assignment from my social teacher to change the world.

A trivial assignment. Simply do anything and you have changed the world. If that isn't grand enough, go dig a shallow hole. Changing the world is remarkably easy. Changing it in a significant way on the other hand is probably a lit more difficult.

 

[Scarim Coral]

This wasn't homework per say, it more of a assigment which we did it after lesson. It was the first few weeks of my first year at uni so the assigments we were given were somewhat easy as it was really to develop our skills before doing proper work. While this assigment was easy but to the time to make it was blody hard and boring.
The assigment was our tutor give us some shapes to use in 3D Studio Max (a 3D graphic software). All we have to do is to clones the shapes as many as we want and to rearrange the shape how we like and then render (take an image) it. Sound simple right? but here's the thing-

We had to render 600-800 of the rearrange shapes.
This was the early days so most of us haven't got the software in our pc so we had to use the Uni pc's which the pc room are usually full when we want to use it.
We had a week to complete it.
The files size had to be bitmap (huge file size compare to Jpeg) so saving it and storing it on a memory stick was annoying.

So I pretty much work my butt of by getting to the pc room early as possible and just randomly render the shape (he never said to turn the shapes into a certain objects like car or airplane etc).
It turn out that on nearer the end of the deadline he wasn't expect everyone to have 600-800 renders at all and was willing to accept the amount you created (should be at least 300). While I was annoy, it turn out that I was right that the whole point of the assigment is to make random render not to spend time making detail render like some people did.

 

[WrongSprite]

Meh, I do History, all my papers are like that. If my sources aren't academic I'll get failed, so you get used to it.

 

[Dogstile]

Well, the one I remember, mainly because it was last year.
Nude photographs of a model from the opposite sex.
Awkward.

I wish my school gave out assignments like that.

Double post. Dammit.

You really don't. I walked into the photography part of my college to find my friend and I felt like I was being judged by everyone with a camera :3 Was not nice

Edit: I need to do an OT:

OT: My current one. Biggest assignment we've had all year. Our teacher wants it done in half the time as all the others. Oh, did I mention that even though she was in hospital for two weeks and none of us knew what the hell we were doing for those two weeks she still didn't give us an extension and told us to just get on with it?

Thats not even the worst part. Despite this I was still going to have it in on time. I woke up the next day, worked on it for two hours straight, confident i'd get it done and submit it by the 9pm deadline.

3pm I get a text. "Your assignment is now late".

Fuck you too.

 

[Fitzcaraldo]

Wait i got one!!

Having to watch The Crucible in english.

Stupidest movie i've ever seen.

I had to do that once too! Maybe it was the same class.....

EDIT: that's unlikely since you live in Canada.

But my latin teacher just assigns us all the work we'd usually do in a normal fortnight over our two week holidays. Yeah, fuck you too, mate.

 

[0mn1p0t3ntg6y]

I actually had a math teacher who assigned us to learn the alphabet.

 

[notyouraveragejoe]

A Chemistry Lab Report on an experiment that went horribly. The results were inaccurate, the method was highly suspect and the experiment itself was handled with the accuracy of a drunken bull trying to hump the display case in an antique china shop. I still did it to a high quality but I'm angered by the shitty method and the incomplete results due to the idiocy of the other groups.

 

[A Raging Emo]

Holiday homework.

Just holiday homework in general, especially considering I should be doing it right now but instead I'm talking about it here.

This. Exactly this. Like I really SHOULD be doing right now.

This. This. This!

I have Holiday Homework to be handed in on Friday; you know, Homework to be handed in during the Holidays!

Hes making a special effort to come into school between 8 and 9 AM to collect our homework. If we do not hand it in between those two times, then it is late and we get Zero marks.