Your PSAs of common sense

[renegade7]

Dear "Parents of young children"

I get that your newfound ability to producing a screaming pink goblin has provided you with some sense of superiority and entitlement, but you must understand that the world does not revolve around you and your children.

Places not to bring your children:

-Nice restaurants. I was trying to have a nice dinner with my date. That was annoying. And this wasn't like at a TGI Friday's or something. This was an upscale fine dining establishment, like "reservations two weeks in advance" kind of place. There was no need to bring your kid.

-The orchestra. So this is a particularly horrendous incident. At the time, I was in college and I was a member of the student orchestra. We were playing one of our concerts (an arrangement of Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor), when someone's baby started wailing. I've been going to classical concerts since I was 15. I'd been a performer through all my years of college. Never, in my life, had I ever even HEARD of the orchestra stopping and having to start over because of a disturbance from the audience, much less did I ever expect to have to do so. And to make it even more obnoxious, the parents in question actually ARGUED with not just the usher who had come to escort them out, but also with our FUCKING CONDUCTOR who had to halt the performance, turn around, and ask them quite politely (more politely than he should have IMO) to leave and not come back with their kid.

-The library. If there's anything synonymous with libraries besides books, it's quiet. The sort of place you can go to read and study. This goes double for a university library. DO NOT bring your baby to a university library. DO NOT complain when students start getting annoyed with you and asking you to leave. DO NOT act innocent when your crotch dropping projectile vomits all over a table and onto someone's work.

People, please: think twice about where you're taking your kid. If you can't afford a sitter, you shouldn't have had a baby. If you can afford orchestra tickets, dining at a nice restaurant, or university tuition YOU CAN AFFORD TO HIRE A SITTER GODDAMMIT. It's your responsibility to deal with your kid, not that of everyone else to put up with it.

 

[Pyrian]

Don't date people who are mean to you.

 

[Fractral]

crotch dropping

That has to be the best synonym for a baby I have ever heard.

OT: Whoo, Passive Agressive time!
Dear Internet Goers;
It is possible to be neither behind a concept nor against it. Criticism of something you believe or like is not a personal attack. One member of a loosely defined 'Side' does not represent that side entirely. Righteous zeal is never a good mindset with which to argue.
Thanks, Fractral.

 

[Meg Galuardi]

Dear people at my school,

Learn to walk please. Its really not that hard. Stay to the right, use crosswalks, look where you're going. Don't walk four across and take up the entire sidewalk. It like driving, really. Just imagine a line down the middle of the sidewalk and for gods sakes stay to the right of it.

K Thanks.

 

[Ryan Hughes]

Dear Grammar Nazi,

I understand that it can be frustrating when people fail at their attempts to communicate with you. And indeed, whenever you disagree with that person, the temptation to use a lack of communicative skill as a means of personal attack can be nearly impossible to refuse. However, things have clearly gone too far.

It is entirely fine to end a sentence in a preposition. In fact, this "rule" was never actually a part of English, even as far back as Old English, but was imported from the French syntax, which needless to say is largely incompatible with all the epochs of our language. Also, do not admonish people for using split infinitives, as no one can really see how the split could obscure meaning. "To boldly go where no man has gone before," is a perfectly legitimate sentence.

Truth be told, Edgar Allen Poe often began sentences with the word "and," and even began a paragraph in The Masque of the Red Death with the word "but." I also personally know published authors who still have no idea how to properly use the semi-colon, and avoid it entirely.

What is at stake here is not the future of the English Language, rather, your own sense of superiority. To use strict grammar as your own personal shibboleth against those you deem unworthy of your attention. What matters most is clarity of meaning and intent, not arbitrary rules invented long after-the-fact in an attempt to explain why a language works.

Sincerely,
Ryan

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Dear Atheists (just the really militant ones).
Let me preface this by saying that I'm not going to argue the existence of a great hereafter, I can't convince you.
Anyhow.
Stop pretending that you're better than people who believe in something bigger than themselves.
I believe in an eternal after with God, you don't believe in any such thing, both of these options are okay because in the end, Heaven, Nirvana, what have you will exist or not exist no matter what either of us think.
And while great crimes against humanity have been perpetrated by religious followers, it turns out that that's just the minority and that most religious followers do their best to lead good lives, who knew?
And stop with this "holding society back" nonsense, because screaming at a stranger over something nobody can prove really spells progress with a capital P.

 

[Guffe]

Dear criminals.
Stop doing crime and start living a "good" life
Sincerely

I guess that covers it...

 

[Lucem712]

Dear drivers,

Please do not go around building/commercial complexes turns sharply and look at me angrily when you almost plow your sedan into my huge utility van because of your inability to see around corners. Also, just a general note, do not mad-dog the other driver when you are clearly in the wrong and almost caused an accident.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

Spoiler: Does this sign count as a PSA?

[https://imageshack.com/i/0tstupidpeopledemotivatioj]

If so, I think I win this thread. ;p

OT: Eh, for me it's those actually PSA's they put out to tell people not to text while they drive.

I mean, really?!
Talking on the phone is one thing, but typing while you drive? 0-o

You crazy.

 

[Parasondox]

Dear parent, some not all,

When your child has been crying in a supermarket for the past 20 mins, GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONES and deal with the crying baby. Your child. Just tell your friend on the other side to hold on for a few minutes so you can deal with the little screamer. I know you may want to try that "ignore them and they will stop somehow" technique but if it's not clearing working, in public, then just handle it.

Yes, I sound like an arse but seriously now.

 

[StriderShinryu]

Dear far too many people in general,

Just because you don't like something doesn't mean it's bad and just because you don't agree with a viewpoint doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong or that the people who disagree with you are idiots. It, shockingly I know, is okay for people to have different opinions than you do and your opinions don't define what is good/bad/right/wrong. When someone disagrees with you, it's not because they are trying to hurt you or show you up, and it's definitely not okay for you to attack them (even just "over the internet") based on the simple fact that they have a different opinion or viewpoint. When someone disagrees with you it's actually better to honestly and openly consider their opinion, and then either broach a real discussion about the topic or simply realize that it's better to "agree to disagree."

Signed,
Everyone with at least half of a brain

 

[Matthew Jabour]

Dear people terrified of Ebola,

Has somebody sneezed, bled, pissed, shat, spat, or vomited on you recently? Or ever? If the answer is no, then congratulations, you have a zero percent chance of being infected, just like 99.9999999% of people in America! Now stop watching CNN and turn on your brains for a while.

Cordially,
People who understand what 'transmitted by fluids' means

 

[Matthew Jabour]

Don't date people who are mean to you.

You might be flagged for brevity, friend. You may want to add a few sentences. Even if you really don't have anything more to say, you should still add some sentences onto the end. I cannot stress that enough.

 

[Slayer4472]

Dear EA:

Why did you buy Bioware if you aren't going to let them make the niche products they were known for, and indeed made quite well? Remember, having ten Little Things that each make 10 million is objectively better than having one Big Thing that makes 100 million, because something might go wrong with Big Thing: The Revengening. Let your niches be niches!



Dear People Who Disagree With Me On Twatter:

It's okay that you disagree with me- it really is! But comparing me to one of the following:

Spoiler

-Adolf Hitler/ the Nazis
-ISIS
-The Soviets/ Joseph Stalin
- The KKK
- The Black Panthers
- The Crusaders/ Ghazis of the Crusading Period
- Pedophiles/ Child Molesters
- Any Serial Killer
- Westboro Baptist Church
- Your Abusive Relation

is actually quite childish, and makes you look rather silly. Follow Boogie's advice, or go suck on a lolly.

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

Dear other humans of the world,


And if no one is infringing on your life, your freedom or your liberties, don't go antagonizing them, even if they do or see things differently than you do.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

Me

P.S.

Spoiler: Musical version of first spoiler, including one more social critic

 

[Little Woodsman]

Dear Public,
If you are doing something questionable in my workplace, and I question you about it, telling me "I'm not a person who would do something like that!" is not going to convince me. If you *were* a person who would do something like that, what is the first thing you would tell me? Huh? That's right!!

Dear co-workers to anyone,
When you come up to one of your co-workers and incessantly bad-mouth everyone else who works where you do, the co-worker you are talking to is just thinking "What does this person say about *me* when I'm not around?".

Dear Public,
That law enforcement officer is not Andy Griffith, and this is not the town of Mayberry. In our current society it is not feasible for law enforcement officers to know all members of the community, and know the ones who are not inclined to be criminals. When dealing with them the questions "Do you know who I am?" and "Do you know who I know?", are not helpful. Particularly when they are shouted.

 

[Pyrian]

Don't date people who are mean to you.

You might be flagged for brevity..., friend. You may want to add a few sentences. Even if you really don't have anything more to say, you should still add some sentences onto the end. I cannot stress that enough.

I like how your post consists of less content than mine, yet padded out to paragraph length. I'm not entirely clear on whether the joke was intentional, though.

Keep in mind that the guideline is low content, not brevity. Low content padded out is, IMO, still low content.

Nonetheless, I suppose I could expand a little on my original point. The truth is... I have no idea why people date people who treat them poorly. It seems to me to be a self-evidently terrible idea, and yet it seems so common as to be virtually normal. Like, I'm the weird one for insisting that my romantic interests treat me decently. My own mother seems to be genuinely annoyed that I managed to marry someone who's nice to me. I think she was hoping I'd marry someone who'd take over for her in the nagging department.

So, here's the thing. Life gets stressful. Marriage gets stressful. Money issues get notoriously stressful. Child rearing gets especially stressful. And stressed people... Well, they don't exactly get nicer, as a general rule. You are basically guaranteed that things are going to get harder at some point during a long term relationship. (And better, too.)

So, if your baseline is already that they don't treat you very well, are they going to cross the line when the going gets genuinely tough? I've seen so many marriages fail.

 

[L. Declis]

Don't date people who are mean to you.

You might be flagged for brevity..., friend. You may want to add a few sentences. Even if you really don't have anything more to say, you should still add some sentences onto the end. I cannot stress that enough.

I like how your post consists of less content than mine, yet padded out to paragraph length. I'm not entirely clear on whether the joke was intentional, though.

Keep in mind that the guideline is low content, not brevity. Low content padded out is, IMO, still low content.

He was just trying to give a friendly warning, even included the word "friend". Seems a tad harsh to immediately turn around on him and say his post was worst.

Also, as someone who has been in an abusive relationship, it may seem simple to the outsider who gets to look into the relationship without any of those fuddy duddy emotions, but it's a lot more difficult from the inside to figure out if they're being abusive or you're being too sensitive and so on. Abusers tend to be very good at messing up your internal twat radar and breaking you down Full-Metal-Jacket-Training-Section style.

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Dear Chinese Public,

I understand that I am white and foreign and very interesting. But that really doesn't mean you're allowed to walk up to me and ask for free English lessons and then get insulted when I really don't want to give free English lessons for much the same reason that an artist doesn't give out free paintings to every person they know.

Also, if you want to look, just look. I'm not that interesting and you can have your fill of me and then be bored. But don't sit there and look at me from the corner of your eye, don't start talking about me and assuming I don't understand 因为我明白你。我也会说普通话！ Also, saying horrible things is appreciated less.

Also, if the subway is full, please wait 4 minutes to get the next one. Don't just lower your shoulder and force your way on. Everyone thinks you're a twat for doing that.

Also, a queue is a queue. Can you please stay in the queue rather than immediately all run to the front and start elbowing and pushing your way forward over old people and children?

Finally, to all the poor Chinese immigrants in Shanghai, please learn the basics of living here. Learn some Mandarin rather than your own dialect, learn how to use a cash machine, stop haggling in major brand shops, please brush your teeth, and please stop trying to touch my hair with your dirty hands just because it's not black and straight like yours.

Also, to the men of China... a combover looks terrible. Even Mao Zedong didn't do that. Please stop. You're convincing no one.

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Dear Other Foriegners in China,

Please don't date 18 year old woman when you're 50 years old, fat and balding. It reflects very badly on the rest of us and we don't have a good reputation as it is.

Also, don't go around practising one night stands or "hit it and quit it"s. Yes, a few of the Chinese are into that, but many think that having sex is equivalent to a semi-marriage proposal and you've basically stated that you're in it for a long haul. Again, you're making us all look like shit, and I have a family in law to convince I am a nice guy.

Also, you're not in the U.S, you're not in France or Korea, learn some bloody Mandarin.

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[Matthew Jabour]

Don't date people who are mean to you.

You might be flagged for brevity..., friend. You may want to add a few sentences. Even if you really don't have anything more to say, you should still add some sentences onto the end. I cannot stress that enough.

I like how your post consists of less content than mine, yet padded out to paragraph length. I'm not entirely clear on whether the joke was intentional, though.

Keep in mind that the guideline is low content, not brevity. Low content padded out is, IMO, still low content.

Nonetheless, I suppose I could expand a little on my original point. The truth is... I have no idea why people date people who treat them poorly. It seems to me to be a self-evidently terrible idea, and yet it seems so common as to be virtually normal. Like, I'm the weird one for insisting that my romantic interests treat me decently. My own mother seems to be genuinely annoyed that I managed to marry someone who's nice to me. I think she was hoping I'd marry someone who'd take over for her in the nagging department.

So, here's the thing. Life gets stressful. Marriage gets stressful. Money issues get notoriously stressful. Child rearing gets especially stressful. And stressed people... Well, they don't exactly get nicer, as a general rule. You are basically guaranteed that things are going to get harder at some point during a long term relationship. (And better, too.)

So, if your baseline is already that they don't treat you very well, are they going to cross the line when the going gets genuinely tough? I've seen so many marriages fail.

It was totally intentional. I've seen a lot of single-sentence posts get flagged for lack of content.