The dark brotherhood questline in oblivion is horrible for similar reasons.TheMadDoctorsCat said:Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. I love Skyrim, but OH GOD does it have some awful sidequests.
My choice for the worst is one that you really HAVE to complete if you want to have any standing in Windhelm, or if you want a house there. Because the house belongs to a serial killer (this kind of thing seems to happen a lot in Tamriel apparently.) And you have to "catch" the killer.
Spoiler tags coming. I hope they work.
So you start by offering your services to the town guards at the cemetary, where the remains of a crime scene have been found. (Shock - dead body in graveyard! I know, right?) Only it turns out that this particular body was butchered by a serial killer who's been "offing" people in Windhelm for some time. Since the guards are all busy with the ongoing war effort, it's down to your friendly neighbourhood Dragonborn to solve this hideous crime! Or, as it turns out, not to do so!
Your first task: interview three witnesses. A local beggar, automatically eliminated as a suspect because she's a master pickpocket trainer; a priestess of Arkay, whose job is tending to the dead, and who presumably would have access to plenty of bodies without needing to cut people up in the streets; and Calixto, a local curiosities shop owner. Here's a few things that you discover in your initial interviews:
- Calixto is the only one who claims to have seen or heard the murderer fleeing the scene. Odd, since we know the murderer dragged a body away. (And also put part of it back again after he's finished with it, for some reason we're never actually told. Seriously, why did this even happen?)
- Calixto's also the only "witness" who has absolutely no legitimate reason to be there at that time of night. Even assuming he was going to the tavern or something, he's in completely the wrong part of town for it.
- Calixto is famous for his collection of "curiosities". Coincidentally, when you track the blood trail back to the killer's hideout, you find a gruesome mound of discarded stuff, including one rather nifty amulet with a black skull insignia. (You actually get the chance to question Calixto about this later on, but if you don't, you'll be permanently stuck with a useless skull amulet that you can never get rid of because it's a "quest item". I found this out the hard way.) Oh yeah, and if you DO question Calixto, he'll tell you that it's a "protective charm" belonging to the castle mage. Riiiiiight.
I mean, I don't want to denigrate the writers too much, but this murder "mystery" makes the "stolen painting" quest in "Oblivion" seem like Agatha Christie by comparison.
So am I complaining because the quest is too easy? Nope - if you could take the clues, go back to the Jarl's steward and accuse Calixto on the basis of them, it'd be pretty good. You can't do that. I tried for literally TWO HOURS.
The only person you can accuse is Wuunferth the Unliving. And if you're wondering who Wuunferth the Unliving is - so was I, the first time I played this quest. I'd never even met the guy to my recollection. I hadn't even asked Calixto about the amulet when questioning him (I think you needed to scroll down to get the option onscreen, and I hadn't) so I had no idea what the evidence was supposed to be against this guy. Apparently there's supposed to be papers pointing to him inside the murder house, but I've reluctantly played this quest on every playthrough I've done of Skyrim and I've yet to find them. Other than that, there's only Calixto's blatantly bogus story about the amulet. (Wuunferth being the castle mage.)
So... the game gives you all the clues you need to identify the killer, but doesn't let you accuse him. You HAVE to accuse the wrong guy to finish the quest, and then it ends. Until someone else gets killed a few days later and you have to correct "your" mistake in a second separate quest.
Look... I believe I made it clear when talking about "FEAR" and "Bioshock Infinite" that I really really really really hate games that force you to "fail" when you wouldn't otherwise have done so. This is a classic case of that. I love murder mysteries (if my Agatha Christie reference didn't make that clear enough). This quest is set up like one, but what it actually is is a case of following badly-signposted breadcrumbs over a linear and completely predetermined path that breaks the game if you stray from it. It's buggy (I ended up with a permanent and useless skull amulet that I couldn't identify because the only guy to do it, Calixto, ended up dead.)
Oh yeah, and about that... see, you have to go back to confront Wuunferth in the castle jail. Which you'll probably do in daylight, because you need to speak to the Jarl's steward first and he doesn't work at night. Once you come OUT of the castle, the last part of the quest starts... which involves you catching Calixto in the act of murdering somebody. Yep, the infamous serial killer gets caught stalking a new victim in broad daylight through a crowded marketplace. Couldn't he at least attack you in his shop or something?
Also, just for a laugh, I killed and robbed every single one of Windhelm's citizenry while under the cover of darkness and a freakin' lot of Stealth enchantments. Nobody commented on this. At all. Everyone's too concerned about the serial killer in their midst!
Death in Skyrim. It only matters when someone else causes it.
At one point, the contracts left for you by your boss start getting switched out by a traitor. It is painfully obvious that this is the case, since both the phrasing and handwriting are completely different than normal in the switched contracts. And even if you were to miss this, your following victims have black hand robes stashed away in their houses. Not to mention the way they reply to you if you talk to them about the dark brotherhood contracts on their heads before killing them. There is no way to avoid having to kill off your superiors, short of just not progressing further in the questline.