Zakarath said:
Failure.
Things like pain and death are a part of this world and beyond my control, and so I can accept them. However, I fear my own failing, whether it be failure to make my way and find success in the world, or to disappoint my team and lose in a competitive game such as a match of Dota 2 (so much so that I rarely play the game against actual players, despite the satisfying and vicious taste of victory I greatly enjoy.)
Right, so death and pain are natural occurrences but failure isn't? Sorry to criticize you like that, but that's not true. Everyone's afraid to fail - fact. And yeah, it's not pleasant, but at the same time it's rather inevitable. For everyone. Even if you're the richest, luckiest, most skillful person in the world, who abstains from doing anything in fear of failing 0 you'd still fail at something, and maybe that something would be not being able to overcome the fear of failing (I know, fucked-up, right?) I'm not saying you should just accept it and not care, I am saying just risk it. That's what life's about - taking risks, succeeding, failing; because (and you've probably heard this) if you're not willing to fail, you're not willing to succeed in a truly beautiful way.
Sorry for the whole motivational-speech-banter-criticism-thing, it's just that I am afraid of failing, too. I've done it many, MANY times and it doesn't get easier. My biggest fear in that respect, I suppose, would be failing to have a career in my respective field. Failing to find someone whom I love and vice-versa. Should I stop trying because of that fear? Or should I give it my all, in the hopes of avoiding/overcoming it?
OT: I guess if we're talking about irrational fears - heights. And bugs, too (hate those fuckers). But if we're talking about some deep, meaningful kind of fear, well - the fear of not knowing. Of being oblivious. And I don't mean about trivialities, or not understanding certain fields of science, or whatever. No, I mean living a kind of lie by omission, if you will. Taking something as red and finding out that it's all been a lie. 'Blissful ignorance' is not bliss to me.
Also, humanity kind of frightens me (although it's not a huge fear). I am absolutely fascinated by the way we think, our psychology, but at the same time it scares the shit out of me, sometimes. The amount of hatred we have the capacity to carry, or to what degree we can manipulate people and be manipulated. The irrationality of emotions and how we're turned mere beasts at the behest of a couple of hormones. The wavering uncertainty of some people drives me insane, when they don't know what they want and you're just caught in their whirlpool of indecision. There are so many things that require you to trust someone, yet there's rarely any evidence to support that trust - I hate that, always have. That's why people can't stand me - because I always ask questions, I always search for security, yet I rarely feel secure.
I guess, in the end, it turns out I am just afraid of blind faith. And finding the ultimate truth - as much as I search for it, in whatever regard, I'm scared to pieces by it (but that's probably due to my pessimistic nature - I always assume the worst). Huh. Cool.