Your take on marriage

[SilentCom]

Every culture has it (or nearly every) and is a social norm, but how do you all feel about it? Do you think marriage is something good or could be done away with entirely? For those who are married here, are you glad you got married? Also, how do you guys view arranged marriage? Keep in mind there are many reasons for arranged marriages, whether it be due to culture or religious belief therefore isn't necessarily against their will.

 

[OptimisticPessimist]

I don't really see the point of it anymore. It just seems to cause confusion, resentment, and conflict. Personally, I have no plans to ever get hitched regardless of how I feel about someone. It seems to me that my loyalty and love should be enough. Just my 2 cents, though.

 

[Fireshot25]

Betting half your stuff that you will stay together forever...

 

[Kiefer13]

To be honest, I think it's an outdated institution that I don't think modern society would miss if we decided to get rid of it.

 

[Booze Zombie]

Marriage... well, it's a nice idea, but it doesn't really gel with human nature.

 

[Phlakes]

I know I'll do it. Unless she doesn't want to. That's cool.

I don't really think of it for the legal benefits, but for what it means and the commitment.

 

[The_Yeti]

Marriage is a load of bullshit, instituted by the governments/religious-pawns to keep tabs on families and their offspring, forcing a more "civil" code of living, pretending a ritual or a piece of paper is proof of unity, popularized further by trust-less women, some justly-so. The only part of marriage that has any official use is the woman getting half your crap to better survive a breakup if there is children involved, which of course gets abused by every grave-robber there is, but in that same sentiment those grave-robbers are just high price whores.

Definition by Sex.

Female-Proof of love, financial security option, cash scam.

Male-Do it or your an uncaring asshole with no intentions for the future, this thought brought to you by subliminal messaging!

Genderless-Money-Grubbers.-Epic cash scam, what fools spending tens of thousands on a corny ritual and a ring when they could use said cash to add stability to what probably will be a child-bearing future.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Until your in love with someone I don't think you can really understand marriage. I have major trust issues with men and I'd still get married if someone I loved asked.

 

[w@rew0lf]

Horrible financial move.

 

[blue heartless]

To quote a great man:

"Marriage is a wonderful institution! But who wants to live in an institution?"

Seriously folks, I love my wife very dearly and we are actually expecting a son in June. Marriage is definitely a good idea for only those who feel truly devoted to the other person(s). Really, just be prepared and know what you're getting yourself into. I have a 5 year plan and I'm working on building upon it.

 

[NeutralDrow]

Marriage comes with a nice variety of legal benefits and a few rather large personal benefits as well. It's also an effective societal glue, a source of cultural transmission and acceptance, and very personally satisfying.

Meaning I find almost every post before mine absolutely hilarious.

 

[NeutralDrow]

Horrible financial move.

<url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_and_responsibilities_of_marriages_in_the_United_States#Rights_and_benefits>Unless you're in the US, I'm assuming.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

I don't see too much of a point. It's a nice thing to do, but...

I dunno, I think it means more when two people are bound together only by their love, and not because they also happen to have a contract looming over them.


Personally, for me it'll depend on what my girl wants. If she's ok with being a permanent couple, great. If she'd really like the whole big shebang however, then yeah, sure I'll roll with it.

 

[Gralian]

Marriage is two things.

It's something people do to ensure their partner doesn't leave them. It is, essentially, a binding contract that says "decide to leave me buddy, and you are fucked. Not in the good way." Often something done when one or both partners are paranoid and believe the only way of making the other not stray is to force them into such a contract.

Marriage is a ball and chain that says "Be prepared to give up a large portion of your life and who you are. You may never flirt with another person again, you may never think sexual or romantic thoughts about another person again. You are the sole property of your partner. You must always remember this, for if you do not, you are fucked, as aforementioned".

It is also a way of somebody ensuring they have someone who will satisfy them emotionally and sexually when they may not be very successful in the dating field or finding a succession of people to meet those needs. An introvert may be a lot more optimistic about marriage, for example, because it means they have a guaranteed partner despite their social difficulties. It's an aid to the unconfident and the non-promiscuous.

But these are just my woefully cynical views on marriage. I'm not religious, so that aspect of it means nothing to me. I suppose some people can see it as a genuine expression of love for each other. But that kind of fairytale love has been long dead for some time now and is only ever present in very rare circumstances. It would be nice to think marriage is a time of happiness, but all too often i see it associated with inevitable anguish for both parties. Probably around the two to three year mark.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

My Granmda always said Don't get married have the kitchen decorated instead. Lady likes her cooking.

. I suppose some people can see it as a genuine expression of love for each other. But that kind of fairytale love has been long dead for some time now and is only ever present in very rare circumstances.

I think a kitten just died from your brainwaves.

 

[HapexIndustries]

Totally uninterested. The idea of being in a monogamous relationship 4EVAR creeps me out, and I'm old enough and been around long enough to have an opinion. However, I know several couples that are married and doing great. So, to each their own.

I will say, though, that many people totally settle when choosing their mate. A lot of people are terrified of being alone and get in awful relationships to avoid it (and for other reasons, societal pressures, etc) and I think that that sucks.

I think the real issue is that we ascribe a legal definition to this joining of peoples, and a legal/financial obligation. I think that should be totally deconstructed and rebuilt. I have no real issue with couples getting tax breaks and such, because they do represent a more stable income and may raise children or whatever, I just think we should accept that it's totally a legal agreement and has nothing to do with religion or social values.

 

[Illesdan]

I am happily married.

I do have to say though that if you are not in a positive place in your life and not confident with yourself and your choices in life, just bringing another person's baggage to mix in with yours in going to make the BOTH of you EXTREMELY unhappy. People get married too quickly and generally for stupid reasons.

If it were me, getting married (homosexual included) would be next to impossible. Seriously, you think you're going to get married at seventeen and really can picture waking up next to the VERY SAME PERSON by your side at seventy?

I didn't think so.

Even though I'm married, I never recommend it to my friends or anyone, for that matter. I don't have a problem with people wanting to be together, but nine times out of ten, they aren't going to be together with the same person at the end of the year.

 

[DefunctTheory]

I would love to get married some day. But there's a few problems...

1. Sterile. No complete family for me. Kind of a bummer when the more traditional ladies hear this.

2. Have a problem with sleeping in the same bed with someone. I have a tendency of taking wild swings in my sleep when people disturb me.

3. I found my dream girl. She lives in Vancouver though, and she's dating someone else. But she's just too GORGEOUS. The perfect body... dreamy gray eyes... DAMN IT! No other woman will ever measure up...

DAMN IT, INTERNET. Damn you and your extensive image databases.

 

[Gralian]

. I suppose some people can see it as a genuine expression of love for each other. But that kind of fairytale love has been long dead for some time now and is only ever present in very rare circumstances.

I think a kitten just died from your brainwaves.

Behold, my pure malevolence as an avatar of disparity!

...

*Does an evil eyebrow twitch*

In all seriousness, i'm afraid this is merely the result of modern society. There is a strong focus on hedonistic culture. Pleasures of the flesh, if you will. Sex is sought after and such affairs are brief and momentary. Celebrity culture and American sitcoms celebrate this lifestyle. Divorce rates have never been higher. People are shallow creatures and as society becomes further liberated and free of 'old traditions' like marriage and monogamy, this will only continue to grow and develop, until it becomes normalised.

But despite all that, i recognise there are some cases where pure love is evident. I applaud such scenarios whole-heartedly. It warms the soul to see something like that defy contemporary culture stigmas and something that is beautiful enough to be everlasting. It's just not something you come across very often, particularly in a world that drowns it out and considers it to be draconian.

 

[w@rew0lf]

Horrible financial move.

<url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_and_responsibilities_of_marriages_in_the_United_States#Rights_and_benefits>Unless you're in the US, I'm assuming.

True, but if you and your significant other decide to get a divorce, very likely nowadays, money becomes scarce on both sides. The financial security your significant other provided, if they work, disappears. And I've found that many married couples depend far to much on we instead of I when gauging financial security. Leading to a distinct lack of financial security on both sides, when passionate emotions leave them filing for divorce. Don't even get me started on what happens if the person you decide to marry has a horrendous credit score. At least that's what I've witnessed when it comes to the divorced/married couples I personally know. If it works, you've got a point, married American is usually easy mode financially.