Your Views on Marriage

[Sparrow]

It makes relationships seem a boxed in, as my old Psych teacher told me. Apparently, you will reach a point in your marrige where you realise you've reached the point of no return. You panic, and take it out on your partner.

Sounds about right. However, want to know the irony? My teacher was married four times. Smart guy.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Also marriage is a shackle a man must wear until he pays half of his possessions to get out of it.

Have to?

Are you familiar with the saying: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" : )

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Needless to say, when I get married my husband won't have to worry about too little sex.

All women say that at one time or another you know...

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Arent humans supposed to stay with a mste for life?
I mean generally?

Nope.

Where did you hear that?

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

Maybe you should take some of your own advice, though he is expressing his views in an...unconventional manner you would be wise to not put him(and all those who don't want to get married either)in one basket, I believe I addressed this above in one of my posts. To repeat, age and maturity are NOT mutually exclusive, so hopefully with age and experience you will grow out of it too and might be able to see ALL sides of a story, including the parts you disagree with.

And last time I checked you do have a mouth also, with which to tell other potential mates that you're taken, like yaknow, make it crystal clear to them? You don't need a wedding ring for that.

For the record, and I know you aren't aware of this, but I've probably done more work for youth rights than anybody on this forum, as I sat on the Board of Directors for the National Youth Rights Association based out of Washington D.C., so I am well aware youth and intelligence are not mutually exclusive. That being said, he's 16 years old. He actually said "not" to me. As was adressed to you by someone else before, you can't say you don't gain perspective with age. Not only age, but it is a factor. A lot of people think I am very young to be married and have two kids, I had people telling me all the time that I wasn't ready, and I wasn't. I can look back and see I wasn't. Now, after a few years, I have adjusted my lifestyle to suit my family and spousal needs.

A ring is the universal symbol of being married. Why would I tell everyone when it's right there? What's easier? Are you really going to try and tell me that I should just tell everyone off the bat I am married instead of just wearing a simple ring that says it for me? Come on, now. Maybe you aren't aware of all the different scenarios that can play out, but I'll let you in. For example, having a ring on means certain girls aren't going to bother with me, and that's a good thing. No discussion needed, they see the ring on the finger, it's over. Or, what if I wasn't wearing it, and an interested girl started to make conversation with me? Because this happens at the bar all the time (if it is dark and they don't see the ring), it goes on for a few minutes, and I tell her I'm married. She gets pissed she wasted her time, and goes back to hang with her friends. It's a bother, so why go through it?

I also fail to see the problem everyone has with the tradition. What is the big deal? Why does everyone have to shit on something just because it doesn't suit them? I don't understand why it can't be "I'm never getting married, it doesn't interest me" instead of "Marriage sucks, you'd have to be an idiot to get married" type discussion.

Personally(and I've had to do this when I had a girlfriend)I would just say that I'm taken, I can be blunt when the need arises. Remember I made a commitment to that girl, I'm hardly going to let an interested girl ruin that by leading her on by not telling her straight away that I have a gf. Approaching someone is risky as it is anyway, telling a girl you're taken or you're married is no different from them telling you they have a bf when you approch them.

I never said you don't gain perspective with age. I just hate it when people think(or at least subtly hint)that just because they're older that they know better, that the person is going through a "phase" and will grow out it, it might not happen, so don't assume.

 

[Ghost8585]

Hey everyone.
I recently had an arguement with a person about marriage. This person believes that marriage is just a label.

I also believed that marriage is a special bond and promise between two people that shows that they will only love and be with each other until they die.

I've always kind of considered marraige sacred (so to speak) and I think if you take the leap, you should be ready for the long haul.
I also always thought that by being married, you may have the extra incentive to try harder to work through problems and try to figure things out.

What is your view of marriage?

i think marriage is a commitment, but it shouldn't necessarily be a monogamous one. it's a contract between you and the spouse, and once you agree to it you should make an effort to work through the rough spots that any relationship goes through.

I actually stumbled on this site the other day: http://www.nomarriage.com/

It's pretty good and kind of echos my thoughts on marriage.

do your thoughts on marriage boil down to "American women are crazy bitches?" Because that's what i'm picking up from that site.

Maybe you should read through more of it then.

 

[NicolasMarinus]

Marriage is standing up in front of everyone you know and will ever meet and saying:

"I choose this person and no one else and I will stand by that choice!"

But why do you have to stand in front of everyone else and say it?

What you're really saying is "Look how much better and loving my relationship is because we're getting married" which is absolute bullshit.

You don't have to tell everyone how loved up you are with a person. If anything because it's you two who are in the relationship I think it should just be between you two to do things, the whole world doesn't need to know. Are you that insecure in the relationship that you feel you to tell everyone? What's that saying about the loudest person normally being the most insecure? I'd say that applies here.

Life is one long string of moments. As humans we feel a clear need to subdivide this string into phases (childhood, puberty, student, adult, parent, ...). You pass from phase to phase by means of rituals. Marriage is one of them. You cease to be boyfriend/girlfriend and become man/wife.

There is nothing wrong with rituals. I choose to experience mine very consciously.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

Marriage is standing up in front of everyone you know and will ever meet and saying:

"I choose this person and no one else and I will stand by that choice!"

But why do you have to stand in front of everyone else and say it?

What you're really saying is "Look how much better and loving my relationship is because we're getting married" which is absolute bullshit.

You don't have to tell everyone how loved up you are with a person. If anything because it's you two who are in the relationship I think it should just be between you two to do things, the whole world doesn't need to know. Are you that insecure in the relationship that you feel you to tell everyone? What's that saying about the loudest person normally being the most insecure? I'd say that applies here.

Life is one long string of moments. As humans we feel a clear need to subdivide this string into phases (childhood, puberty, student, adult, parent, ...). You pass from phase to phase by means of rituals. Marriage is one of them. You cease to be boyfriend/girlfriend and become man/wife.

There is nothing wrong with rituals. I choose to experience mine very consciously.

Lol. Like we don't have a say in the matter.
Or you could cease being a man/wife and just leave it at the bf/gf level, plus the commitment, trust, respect, etc. Not saying you don't get those in marriage but you don't have to get married just because it's supposedly an unavoidable predetermined event in your life.

 

[cobra_ky]

Hey everyone.
I recently had an arguement with a person about marriage. This person believes that marriage is just a label.

I also believed that marriage is a special bond and promise between two people that shows that they will only love and be with each other until they die.

I've always kind of considered marraige sacred (so to speak) and I think if you take the leap, you should be ready for the long haul.
I also always thought that by being married, you may have the extra incentive to try harder to work through problems and try to figure things out.

What is your view of marriage?

i think marriage is a commitment, but it shouldn't necessarily be a monogamous one. it's a contract between you and the spouse, and once you agree to it you should make an effort to work through the rough spots that any relationship goes through.

I actually stumbled on this site the other day: http://www.nomarriage.com/

It's pretty good and kind of echos my thoughts on marriage.

do your thoughts on marriage boil down to "American women are crazy bitches?" Because that's what i'm picking up from that site.

Maybe you should read through more of it then.

maybe you should point me at some specific articles, because most of them have titles like "Marry foreign women only", "American women will bring out the worst in you", and "Majority of American women have Histrionic and Narcissistic disorders".

oh, and my favorite: "Statistics on how worthless western women actually are". that certainly sounds useful and non-biased.

 

[Miss_M]

I think marriage is a great thing despite the four divorces my parents have between them. It actually benefits men to be married, statistically speaking married men are paid on average 16% more than and otherwise identical single man doing the same job, and they live longer as well.

 

[Gerazzi]

It's another industry based on jealousy and one-upmanship.

"Oh, remember the Jhonsons? How they rented horses and walked out into the sunset?"
"yes, dear?"
"I want to do it with an elephant!"
"but honey-"
"Then it's decided!"

Of course, I guess the same thing can be said about gaming (here played by a developer and publisher):

"Remember DOOM?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, how about we make a game like that, but you can aim up~!"
"But wouldn't that take a long time to progra-"
"Then it's decided!"

Or the Sonic franchise:

"Remember the original Sonic?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, what if we put him in like, a car in three dimensions~!"
"Dude, that's totally fucking sweet!"
"Yeah, I'm sure everyone will love it!"
"Then, why don't we take people from our other franchises and make a huge crossover!"
"No one has ever done that before!"
"Then it's decided!"

Spoiler

Every idea here is pretty bad, in exception to the gaming one.

But anyway, my parents will force me to marry, I'm the last person (other than my brother) to pass on the family name.

I'm counting this as arranged marriage.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

I think marriage is a great thing despite the four divorces my parents have between them. It actually benefits men to be married, statistically speaking married men are paid on average 16% more than and otherwise identical single man doing the same job, and they live longer as well.

That doesn't really speak in favor of marriage. It rather points out that unmarried men are being discriminated.

But that's statistics for you. Doesn't really give any conclusive answers, it's just a bunch of meaningless, context lacking numbers that often disregards many important circumstances...

 

[Kriptonite]

its pretty sad if you need an outside party to deem that you love someone.

I agree COMPLETELY! I have always thought that same thing. Thank you for the whole words, mouth, taken thing.

 

[Silver Scribbler]

Never going to happen! In my experience, there are very few married people who are actually happy. I agree with that image.

 

[chronobreak]

A lot of people in this thread are arguing just for the sake of arguing, which is fine, I guess. This is a forum, that's what goes on here. But, if your best argument is "You know you don't HAVE to get married, right?" then you should really give it up. Of course everyone knows that. Unless you're being forced at gunpoint to get married, we know it is a choice, and I haven't seen many married people shoving it down your throats that you have to get married, so why do the anti-marraige people feel the need to keep berating us with the same tired, circular logic? Nobody is right or wrong, it just comes down to the path you choose to take in life.

Marraige is a beautiful traditon and wonderful celebration of love between two individuals, and a sanctimonius promise between two people to honor each other in life and until death. Please, if you have any objections to that, get your head checked.

It's always fun to look on marriage threads and read all the comments by social degenerates who try to be "edgy" and say that marriage is stupid, for the simple fact that they themselves would never find themselves in a relationship to begin with. FUNNY STUFF.

That is kind of a bad attitude to have, and a bad way to put it, but I'm sure it hold true with a lot of these people. This site is becoming overrun by kids thinking that bucking all social norms makes them appear cool. It's like having hundreds of MaxTheReapers, except that I can actually believe Max doesn't do it to appear cool.

 

[Miss_M]

I think marriage is a great thing despite the four divorces my parents have between them. It actually benefits men to be married, statistically speaking married men are paid on average 16% more than and otherwise identical single man doing the same job, and they live longer as well.

That doesn't really speak in favor of marriage. It rather points out that unmarried men are being discriminated.

But that's statistics for you. Doesn't really give any conclusive answers, it's just a bunch of meaningless, context lacking numbers that often disregards many important circumstances...

Pray tell hun, how exactly can biology discriminate?

I don't really understand why people get so high and mighty, throwing out statements like 'I don't need a piece of paper to prove my love' and 'Marriage is an outdated institution'. These are always the kind of people who mistakenly think being crushingly cynical about anything positive makes them sound intellegent, when it actually makes them sound like cold and bitter dickwads.

It's not about the paper, or the stupid poofey dress, it's a promise and a commitment. By the very nature of the fact that you are taking a vow in front of witnesses, the law and your deity of choice (if any) it makes it more meaningful than just rolling over in bed and telling your partner that you love them. People don't like marriage because it's hard work and because there is a finality to it. That's the problem. That and all these damn two week celebrity marriages devaluing the whole thing.

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

I think marriage is all about financial security. If you're going to have a child with that ************ you better make him pay more than child support when you leave him.

But I'm also an old romantic so I think if I ever found someone special than I would happy spend the rest of my life with her. Just the idea of waking up in the early spring morning with her by my side is refreshing. Makes life all the more sweeter.

 

[Captain Wes]

marriage is like a potatoe, it's all well and good if you don't mind potatoes forever, but if you want bacon you can't get all I'll have some bacon because then your potatoe goes off with the steak. Basically I mean to say it's confusing