Your Views on Marriage

[WafflesandBacon]

well if you do get married your life is over
if you dont people you'll die alone
it's a lose/lose thing

 

[Ghost8585]

I actually stumbled on this site the other day: http://www.nomarriage.com/

It's pretty good and kind of echos my thoughts on marriage.

do your thoughts on marriage boil down to "American women are crazy bitches?" Because that's what i'm picking up from that site.

Maybe you should read through more of it then.

maybe you should point me at some specific articles, because most of them have titles like "Marry foreign women only", "American women will bring out the worst in you", and "Majority of American women have Histrionic and Narcissistic disorders".

oh, and my favorite: "Statistics on how worthless western women actually are". that certainly sounds useful and non-biased.

"80% of American mothers have postpartum depression"

"Sex after marriage stops"

"Marry only if you want kids"

"Typical evening of a married man with kids"

"What your future wife will be thinking a few years after you have children"

"Men should not even think about getting married and having children until they are in their 40s"

So how many years of college did it take you to become a cherry picker?

 

[cobra_ky]

I actually stumbled on this site the other day: http://www.nomarriage.com/

It's pretty good and kind of echos my thoughts on marriage.

do your thoughts on marriage boil down to "American women are crazy bitches?" Because that's what i'm picking up from that site.

Maybe you should read through more of it then.

maybe you should point me at some specific articles, because most of them have titles like "Marry foreign women only", "American women will bring out the worst in you", and "Majority of American women have Histrionic and Narcissistic disorders".

oh, and my favorite: "Statistics on how worthless western women actually are". that certainly sounds useful and non-biased.

"80% of American mothers have postpartum depression"

"Sex after marriage stops"

"Marry only if you want kids"

"Typical evening of a married man with kids"

"What your future wife will be thinking a few years after you have children"

"Men should not even think about getting married and having children until they are in their 40s"

So how many years of college did it take you to become a cherry picker?

the point is that the site is clearly biased, poorly sourced, and full of rampant misogyny. anyone with that low an opinion of women is bound to have a failed marriage.



though i did find this reasonable:

Women need proof that if they're going to have your kids, that you'll be around to take care of them (and that if you break up, you'll bear part of the burden of raising them). So, if you're not having kids, I don't see the point.

Lots of guys are wising up to this fact. The best piece of advice ever given to me was "only get married if you are absolutely sure you want to have kids." As it turns out, I was absolutely sure and finally got married. I took a long time to find the right woman. It's a lot of work, but I am happy because the lady I ended up with is an equal in most every way. She is very capable and not looking for "someone to take care of her."

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

*looks at the topic the way you would look at shit stuck to the bottom of your shoe. It stinks, you don't want to touch it, but you can get away from it until you deal with it.*

-.-

I have been to MANY weddings.

I have been part of a ceremony for a wedding.

Weddings can be a lot of fun... if there is wine... lots of wine.

I have seen "secular" weddings, with a justice of the peace presiding. God was never mentioned. It was a touching act between two loving individuals.

Marriage is a very shiny concept, in as much as communism and Capitalism work very well when you have them function in a utopian vacuum.

Marriage has a lot of history, including divorce, and the context that it USED to exist under whereby people were marrying in their teens and dying in their 30s.

*sigh*

Anything beyond declarative statements and I get lost in some kind of senseless tirade.

This is enough to make my point I think.

 

[Aqualung]

As much as I hated Eragon, the elves in the book made a very interesting point.

Being typical high fantasy elves of course, they explained that, since they live so bloody freaking long, they never marry- they just continually move from spouse to spouse, never tied down, especially not "forever".

Now, the average life expectancy is about 80 years in Canada, non? So if I got married a bit early, say, 30 years, I'd have to wake up to the same man's face for FIFTY YEARS. Half a century. Now that, my good sirs, is way too long, and the only way I could do that is if I were waking to a male clone of myself who knows exactly how to make myself feel better or get out of my way. Which, unfortunately, is impossible.

Sure does make the bachelor life seem nicer... Marriage has too many ropes. And makes divorce sound like such a bad thing.

 

[the_anderspawn]

Wow, you knwo tht marriage can be porformed anywhere,in any fasion, you just need one of the three following people present:

a Ships Captian
a Judge
a Vicar/Preist/your relgious leader of choice

and the setting can be any where from a courthouse or church to a boat or your very own garden (my parents married this way).
In no way do weddings need to be expensive. besides, the expensive ones are payed for by the father of the bride (usually)

While it is true the setting can be anywhere, nowadays anyone can be ordained to marry people. My dad is ordained, even though he is an atheist. There are several mail or online services that will ordain you for free or for the cost of the postage. They are relatively easy to find on teh intarwebs.

 

[TheBigInterview]

If you two really loved each other then a "I'll be with you forever" *insert touchy/cute moment would suffice.

Marriage is a social standard set in place by the same people who want you to be "them". The bigot-leaders who believe that you need to act and feel and breath and live and touch and smell like them and that you need to worship their idols and love their women.

Fuck marriage. It's a scam and you're putting your trust and love in for a 50 dollar card that says you love each other.

MONEY IS A SUPERFICIAL FUCK. AND IT WANTS YOUR BABIES AND YOUR FOOD AND IT WANTS IN YOUR HOUSE.

 

[Blood_Lined]

Marriage is awesome if you're married to the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. The only way to attain TRUE happiness.

 

[TheBigInterview]

Marriage is awesome if you're married to the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. The only way to attain TRUE happiness.

'Twas joke, right?

 

[MR.Spartacus]

As far as I'm concerned marriage is a scam. I don't beleive in "love" either just hormones and social pressure. In as much as marriage is concerned to me it seems like any guy is just screwing himself over for laughable "gains". If to people do however care about eachother then some arbitrary contract shouldn't be necessary to "prove" it.

 

[Breadboy]

Marriage is a means to keep our population in control

The Bible guys thought of everything!

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Pray tell hun, how exactly can biology discriminate?

I wasn't speaking of biology, I was speaking of the married men being paid more for the same job as unmarried men do. But sure, if you want to discuss biology, then yes "mother nature" is one of the largest discriminating forces on earth. Most people realize that. That's why we have modern medicine, and we don't let people who are sick die of we can help them in an effort to counteract biology's discriminating ways. If "mother nature" were allowed to decide then we should just give up on all the sick children in the world. Because "mother nature" is always right and we shouldn't question her "choices"... Right?

I don't really understand why people get so high and mighty, throwing out statements like 'I don't need a piece of paper to prove my love' and 'Marriage is an outdated institution'. These are always the kind of people who mistakenly think being crushingly cynical about anything positive makes them sound intellegent, when it actually makes them sound like cold and bitter dickwads.

You read minds as well? Gosh, what a fantastic human being you are! Since you are able to pin point the exact reasons for why people who dislike marriage say what they say.

Marriage wasn't about "love" in the beginning anyway. It was about brokering a business deal between two families, without much regard for the sons and daughters being semi-forced to marry eachother. It's not very strange that educated people today are a bit disillusuioned by marriage in that regard now is it?

If you belong to the people who believe that marriage is an inhernetly romantic thing, motivated by love and commitment, then you have certainly gotten the wrong idea of what marriage was really intended to be in the first place.

It's not about the paper, or the stupid poofey dress, it's a promise and a commitment. By the very nature of the fact that you are taking a vow in front of witnesses, the law and your deity of choice (if any) it makes it more meaningful than just rolling over in bed and telling your partner that you love them. People don't like marriage because it's hard work and because there is a finality to it. That's the problem. That and all these damn two week celebrity marriages devaluing the whole thing.

Well that's your opinion. Myself promising something in front of a priest doesn't make the promise any more binding than promises I give to my partner when we cuddle in the couch together. In fact, I think I'd hold less respect to any promises given in a church in front of all the "gathered beloved", mainly because of the sanctimonious nature of marriage.

Love is a matter between me and my partner and no one else, and I for one don't feel comfortable in inviting priests, diety's, friends and family into my lovelife. It's none of their business actually and never has been. That doesn't make my love for my partner ANY LESS SPECIAL than someone who buys into this whole marriage ritual. And if you were to say otherwise, then you are nothing short of a bigot, suffering from an extreme case of the "holier than thou"-syndrome.

Marriage is just a symbol. Symbols in themselves are meaningless, they are only given power by people. I don't give the symbol of marriage much power simply because I don't believe in it. That doesn't make my love any less valuable or less true than someone who does...

 

[WhiteTiger225]

[img/]http://www.wearyourbeer.com/images/Humor_Wedding_Game_Over_Black_Shirt.jpg[/img]
Pretty much...
And it is pretty much a label, its pretty sad if you need an outside party to deem that you love someone.

That wedding band actually grants a +5 bonus of "Protection Against: Oral Sex"

 

[Kiju]

Well I honestly think marriage is a wonderful, special bond of the undying love between two people (Why do you think, uh, people with sexual preferences are always fighting for it) but too many people rush into it and often end up getting divorced. My paraents, been together for over 20 years, my dads parents...well they got divorced (My father finds it a very touchy subject)

People with sexual preferences are fighting for it because of the legal benefits.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

I think marriage is a great thing despite the four divorces my parents have between them. It actually benefits men to be married, statistically speaking married men are paid on average 16% more than and otherwise identical single man doing the same job, and they live longer as well.

That doesn't really speak in favor of marriage. It rather points out that unmarried men are being discriminated.

But that's statistics for you. Doesn't really give any conclusive answers, it's just a bunch of meaningless, context lacking numbers that often disregards many important circumstances...

Pray tell hun, how exactly can biology discriminate?

I don't really understand why people get so high and mighty, throwing out statements like 'I don't need a piece of paper to prove my love' and 'Marriage is an outdated institution'. These are always the kind of people who mistakenly think being crushingly cynical about anything positive makes them sound intellegent, when it actually makes them sound like cold and bitter dickwads.

It's not about the paper, or the stupid poofey dress, it's a promise and a commitment. By the very nature of the fact that you are taking a vow in front of witnesses, the law and your deity of choice (if any) it makes it more meaningful than just rolling over in bed and telling your partner that you love them. People don't like marriage because it's hard work and because there is a finality to it. That's the problem. That and all these damn two week celebrity marriages devaluing the whole thing.

Both of which you can get without being married. I'm not hating on marriage for the sake of it, it's these kind of thinly veiled "holier than thou" statements that annoy me. You can promise someone you will be with them for life without being married, and I like how none of the people who favour marriage haven't commented on the fact that it's probably a bigger show of commitment since both parties can walk out of the relationship whenever they want.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

Pray tell hun, how exactly can biology discriminate?

I wasn't speaking of biology, I was speaking of the married men being paid more for the same job as unmarried men do. But sure, if you want to discuss biology, then yes "mother nature" is one of the largest discriminating forces on earth. Most people realize that. That's why we have modern medicine, and we don't let people who are sick die of we can help them in an effort to counteract biology's discriminating ways. If "mother nature" were allowed to decide then we should just give up on all the sick children in the world. Because "mother nature" is always right and we shouldn't question her "choices"... Right?

I don't really understand why people get so high and mighty, throwing out statements like 'I don't need a piece of paper to prove my love' and 'Marriage is an outdated institution'. These are always the kind of people who mistakenly think being crushingly cynical about anything positive makes them sound intellegent, when it actually makes them sound like cold and bitter dickwads.

You read minds as well? Gosh, what a fantastic human being you are! Since you are able to pin point the exact reasons for why people who dislike marriage say what they say.

Marriage wasn't about "love" in the beginning anyway. It was about brokering a business deal between two families, without much regard for the sons and daughters being semi-forced to marry eachother. It's not very strange that educated people today are a bit disillusuioned by marriage in that regard now is it?

If you belong to the people who believe that marriage is an inhernetly romantic thing, motivated by love and commitment, then you have certainly gotten the wrong idea of what marriage was really intended to be in the first place.

It's not about the paper, or the stupid poofey dress, it's a promise and a commitment. By the very nature of the fact that you are taking a vow in front of witnesses, the law and your deity of choice (if any) it makes it more meaningful than just rolling over in bed and telling your partner that you love them. People don't like marriage because it's hard work and because there is a finality to it. That's the problem. That and all these damn two week celebrity marriages devaluing the whole thing.

Well that's your opinion. Myself promising something in front of a priest doesn't make the promise any more binding than promises I give to my partner when we cuddle in the couch together. In fact, I think I'd hold less respect to any promises given in a church in front of all the "gathered beloved", mainly because of the sanctimonious nature of marriage.

Love is a matter between me and my partner and no one else, and I for one don't feel comfortable in inviting priests, diety's, friends and family into my lovelife. It's none of their business actually and never has been. That doesn't make my love for my partner ANY LESS SPECIAL than someone who buys into this whole marriage ritual. And if you were to say otherwise, then you are nothing short of a bigot, suffering from an extreme case of the "holier than thou"-syndrome.

Marriage is just a symbol. Symbols in themselves are meaningless, they are only given power by people. I don't give the symbol of marriage much power simply because I don't believe in it. That doesn't make my love any less valuable or less true than someone who does...

Dammit, I should have read your reply before posting mine. I salute you good sir. If any of you have seen Black Lagoon(I can't remember what episode though)where the girl is talking about the skull(or money I don't remember) and the medal, they both are worth nothing, it's us that give them worth, they are just objects.

 

[Nickolai77]

The general impression i am getting is that a clear majority of members here are against marriage. Most of those against are male, and most of the female replies i have heard (with one exception) have been for marriage.

Now, i know that the members of the escapist can not be generalised to the greater population.. but if this trend is true for the rest of the population (i.e- males don't want to marry but females do) then does anyone see a problem here??

 

[Pegghead]

Well I honestly think marriage is a wonderful, special bond of the undying love between two people (Why do you think, uh, people with sexual preferences are always fighting for it) but too many people rush into it and often end up getting divorced. My paraents, been together for over 20 years, my dads parents...well they got divorced (My father finds it a very touchy subject)

People with sexual preferences are fighting for it because of the legal benefits.

Well in all fairness I know a few married men (same sex marriage) that share a true bond of love between one another, not just for the benefits, but because they truly want to be with each other to the end of days. So yes, I am all for same-sex marriage (Even though I'm straight)

 

[Custard_Angel]

If you deem marriage as just a label, thats all youll ever get.

If you respect marriage and see it as a special connection between 2 people, thats what youll get.

Its all about attitude. So many people these days go into marriage for no reason other than "why not?". I look at some married people and wonder why they were ever together. I look at some other married people (like my own parents) and can see an obvious connection between them.

Marriage shouldnt be a legal or ethical matter. It should be the amalgamation of the long term commitment of 2 people who are bestest best friends into a singular person.