Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed 2
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
I really find myself being unimpressed by Assassin?s Creed 2. I am near to the end and am experiencing this gulf between expectations and experience. First I?ll begin with the out-right lies, the missions are not unique.
Example
Rescue the captured thieves, guarded and in cells.
later
Rescue the captured guards, guarded and in cells.
*YAWN*
Second example, the racing missions across the cities and then one of the carnivale quests turns out to be a racing mission. Or, the multiple quests of beating up unfaithful husbands; or tailing a person. Quests quickly become a done-before matter. They could have added arrow-dodging missions (if that doesn?t get you a golden mask, I am not sure what will), or luring away as many guards as possible missions. The combat is nice and visceral, but is sadly repetitive (as much as I like maces and warhammers). I?ve seen every move with every weapon after two days in game.
The locales are beautiful, but what ruins it are the people themselves. They move around in the same manner, doing not much in particular, occasionally watching something. Where are the lay-bouts playing card games of Cassino or the nobles laughing and having a go at Basset? I?ve seen fishermen and gondoliers but that is the extent of development in this area.
The story is an unimpressive tale of vengeance, but, the characters are somewhat memorable. Quick-time events don?t have an impact upon the story. There are no consequences like a character dying or becoming truly offended for you not being quick enough with the button to place a bandage, or grope them or pull their finger.
How much more entertaining it would be, if upon refusing the cup of coffee and failing the bandage sequence, Antonio, now offended and thinking you are an absolutely useless tosser, dragged you outside. He and his gang would proceed to try to beat the shit out of you. All armed with sap gloves just to make it interesting. If you lose they throw your unconscious body into the water, awakening you humorously. Now, you still need their help, so thus begins a different quest line.
It all just comes together as a prettier, done-up version of the repetitive first game. Why are game reviewers getting behind it in droves?
It surprises me Yahtzee did not pick more of this up?
Example
Rescue the captured thieves, guarded and in cells.
later
Rescue the captured guards, guarded and in cells.
*YAWN*
Second example, the racing missions across the cities and then one of the carnivale quests turns out to be a racing mission. Or, the multiple quests of beating up unfaithful husbands; or tailing a person. Quests quickly become a done-before matter. They could have added arrow-dodging missions (if that doesn?t get you a golden mask, I am not sure what will), or luring away as many guards as possible missions. The combat is nice and visceral, but is sadly repetitive (as much as I like maces and warhammers). I?ve seen every move with every weapon after two days in game.
The locales are beautiful, but what ruins it are the people themselves. They move around in the same manner, doing not much in particular, occasionally watching something. Where are the lay-bouts playing card games of Cassino or the nobles laughing and having a go at Basset? I?ve seen fishermen and gondoliers but that is the extent of development in this area.
The story is an unimpressive tale of vengeance, but, the characters are somewhat memorable. Quick-time events don?t have an impact upon the story. There are no consequences like a character dying or becoming truly offended for you not being quick enough with the button to place a bandage, or grope them or pull their finger.
How much more entertaining it would be, if upon refusing the cup of coffee and failing the bandage sequence, Antonio, now offended and thinking you are an absolutely useless tosser, dragged you outside. He and his gang would proceed to try to beat the shit out of you. All armed with sap gloves just to make it interesting. If you lose they throw your unconscious body into the water, awakening you humorously. Now, you still need their help, so thus begins a different quest line.
It all just comes together as a prettier, done-up version of the repetitive first game. Why are game reviewers getting behind it in droves?
It surprises me Yahtzee did not pick more of this up?
Seems like the man himself read it, [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/6863-Extra-Punctuation-On-His-Voice.2] and summarily deemed you unworthy.CuddlyCombine said:
People don't always have to tell the truth, you know. They don't have to admit everything they do. That's pushing conspiracy, though. In truth, I don't care; I made a logical leap of faith, considering I've been watching Yahtzee from the beginning and didn't know the story of his headset or magical affinity for voice-changing influenza.Optimystic said:
Now can people get over the fact that his voice sounded different and focus on the critique itself?
I think this might be the first game that Yahtzee enjoyed more than I did. I understand that the developers were trying to get rid of the monotony of the first game, but I felt the game to be a little unfocused, and the ending utterly disappointing. Then again, I've never liked games that aren't very linear. I tend to just sit around doing nothing, a la GTA4.
Had to laugh at the frog thing - it occurred to me too that her face is a little... odd... throw the word frog in there and it gets a laugh, she totally looks like a bloody frog!
I loved the review, I think you were spot on about one particular point which is that the game is ridiculously easy compared with Assassin's Creed 1. The final battles in AC1 were really difficult and I remember having to restart a few times - but that's good, it was a challenge!
AC2 was just ridiculously easy, getting away from the guards as you rightly pointed out was utterly ridiculous, it's like they all had tunnel vision and cataracts! If you stood a few feet to their left or right and slipped past them they don't bat an eyelid. If you are being chased you can just hang off a ledge and they think you've miraculously disappeared. I was fully expecting AC2 to be much harder in terms of getting away from guards because they had hyped it that way - with the seeker guards finding you in the hay bales or the rooftop gardens - which by the way are exactly the same as the ones in 12th Century Israel from AC1; bit of laziness from Ubisoft there. Same with the horses and their riding gear... fairly certain they would have looked at least a LITTLE bit different.
Through the course of playing the entire game I came across the seeker guards twice I think. Was pretty piss poor. But aside from that I thoroughly enjoyed the game - I find the concept totally unique and I look forward to seeing how it progresses. Fingers crossed no Desmond in the third game... I find him dull and uninteresting too; the only good bit was when he dreams of Altair - that was a cool little moment.
I loved the review, I think you were spot on about one particular point which is that the game is ridiculously easy compared with Assassin's Creed 1. The final battles in AC1 were really difficult and I remember having to restart a few times - but that's good, it was a challenge!
AC2 was just ridiculously easy, getting away from the guards as you rightly pointed out was utterly ridiculous, it's like they all had tunnel vision and cataracts! If you stood a few feet to their left or right and slipped past them they don't bat an eyelid. If you are being chased you can just hang off a ledge and they think you've miraculously disappeared. I was fully expecting AC2 to be much harder in terms of getting away from guards because they had hyped it that way - with the seeker guards finding you in the hay bales or the rooftop gardens - which by the way are exactly the same as the ones in 12th Century Israel from AC1; bit of laziness from Ubisoft there. Same with the horses and their riding gear... fairly certain they would have looked at least a LITTLE bit different.
Through the course of playing the entire game I came across the seeker guards twice I think. Was pretty piss poor. But aside from that I thoroughly enjoyed the game - I find the concept totally unique and I look forward to seeing how it progresses. Fingers crossed no Desmond in the third game... I find him dull and uninteresting too; the only good bit was when he dreams of Altair - that was a cool little moment.
I know, you'd think he'd have dedicated at least a few seconds to that hilarious out-of-nowhere line.someboredguy said:
Enjoy this but im not sure if it's as much as the original. As you said, there's probably just too much to do.
More gametime ws enjoyable, it only tookme about 3 weeks to beat the game, and fixup the villa 100%, get all the paintings, and I only have abot 2 acheivemnts left. Freaking feathers and glyphs are the only thing that bugs me, feathers are incredibly hard to find and some of the glyphs ae amzingly hard to do.......David Bray said:
I sat there confused for a minute or two with some of Yahtzee's complaints about screed 1. And then I realized, "Oh! I played Screed 1 on the PC!" I guess ubisoft actually cared about making a good product on the PC... until that communist leaked it two months early. Now we have screed 2's awful DRM.
