Zero Punctuation: Battlefield 3

[JonnWood]

As I predicted here [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/6.319929-Zero-Punctuation-Kinect?page=2#13062231] some weeks ago, no mention of the multi player game which is the main point of the Battlefield series. The justification for this by Yahtzee was pretty laughable.

The bit complaining about not being able to fly a plane and that the engine would be good for a flight sim, would been very funny if that was not precisely what happens in the multiplayer game.

Yahtzee should just recuse himself from reviewing battlefield games if he is only capable of reviewing at most half the game. I have an excuse for not reviewing it as well. Blame the spyware you would have had to have loaded to play the best version on the PC. That could have been quite funny....

I've heard BF fanboys say the series was never about the SP, and thus it doesn't matter if it's mediocre to poor.

Considering how much they bash COD players for paying for "rehashes", that's kind of hypocritical.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

Best ending to a review I think I've ever witnessed. If only more reviewers were that frank, it would certainly spice up the likes of IGN.

 

[Ragnarok2kx]

He didn't even like Team fortress 2 that much, and probably only said as nice things about as he did( It's really polished) because he's pretty much a valve fanboy(still pining for Episode 3, like so many of us out there).

He did say that TF2 was a multiplayer experience matched only by competitive breast massage in his Portal 2 review, so I'd say he liked it a bunch.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Surprised he didn't go on about the lens flare at all, yes BF3 you have a lighting engine *clap clap* now can you stop blinding me everytime i look at any sort of light source?

The single player isn't bad really, it's boring... To me boring is so much worse than bad

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Why must we have the next in the streek of brown-Grey shooters,,,

We should have a technicolour, fantasical shooter, you know,, one thats fun??

We had one of those a while back, it was called Halo: Combat Evolved. It took place in a myriad of interesting levels that ranged in colour from lush greens and browns, stark blue-grey installations, purple covenant battle cruisers and weird orange-brown squishy intestine levels. It featured enemies in every colour of the rainbow, an asortment of weapons that would choke a goose and a storyline a little more thought out than 'terrorists in the middle east have nuclear weapons, are you a bad enough dude to stop them?'

You remember what happened? Oh yeah, everyone said it was the worst shooter ever and went back to Modern Warfare and Battlefield.

I sit smug in my superiority that I recognised the brown gritty realistic shooters for what they were back in two thousand and fucking one, yet apparently no one else saw this coming.

It is the fault of everyone who bought MW and BF that we are now in Shooter Season 2011 and nothing more interesting that a shit stained dishrag has come out. I am not one of those people, and I certainly didn't ask for this dirge of repetitious shooters.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Fuck it, I'm going back to the jRPGs.

 

[Mirroga]

So many "THIS IS A MULTIPLAYER GAME!" For one thing, how can you review multiplayer games if your experience to it is randomized to whom you play it with? With such "uncontrolled" experience, I don't think anyone can justify or measure it's worth.

For every online matchup, its a given fact that the person who have just started playing it and is grouped randomly to anyone will have a shitty time by not having every content (NEED TO UNLOCK!) as well as having zero cooperation with his dick partners. While, of course, the other person who have unlocked more content and already have a group of friends which have coordinated everything will have a grand old time.

This is not crafted by professionals to create the experiences they want you to have. And that's the reason why Yahtzee also hates User Made Content.

Every single time I watch Yahtzee screams of him wanting the game industry to be more like a book/movie (not a bad thing, mind); good storytelling fused in gameplay, as well as creating a unique experience based around what the devs planned you to experience. You cannot do this in Multiplayer when your uncooperative teammate friendly fired at you to teabag your corpse.

 

[mooncalf]

He's on the money about the single player, I know I haven't bothered finishing it; And yet I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking that Multiplayer is the elephant in Yahtzee's room. Even giving a nod to it he still managed to completely ignore it. Oh well.

The gelatin creature calls him Benjamin?
Is it weird that I'm fixated on that fact?

...You do know that's his name, right?

 

[Britisheagle]

Unfair in a way with not taking into account multiplayer with that being the main point of Battlefield.

That being said EA did write themselves into a corner by focusing on a campaign orientated marketing scheme. Also Black Ops stole the interogation thing from BLACK did they not? In which case EA initially came up with that concept. Could be wrong.

Oh and I really wish he'd leave Gears alone haha I love it but am not one of the people he made out at the beignning.

Either way entertaining review!

 

[Warforger]

Multiplayer-focused series?

REVIEW SINGLE PLAYER ONLY.

Someone make a meme with captcha and so on...

He did mention the multiplayer, but he didn't like it and if he did go in depth chances are he'd berate it probably.

 

[MrSalamandra]

The single-player is way too scripted, linear, filled with quick time events and enemies which totally ignore everyone except you (which is often a lot of people) and have simply incredible ability to notice and shoot you.

But really, the single-player is pretty damn irrelevant for BF3. The multi-player is good. It would be nice if the single-player was good, but... it isn't. The game is still worth it easily, unless you don't like multi-player at all.

 

[ReiverCorrupter]

Why must we have the next in the streek of brown-Grey shooters,,,

We should have a technicolour, fantasical shooter, you know,, one thats fun??

The new Serious Sam comes out soon. BFE, I think it was.

There's always Halo, which is extremely vibrant. Bulletstorm also made a go of it. Oh, and there was Brink by Bethesda, but I heard that it didn't live up to expectations. The Far Cry series was also fairly colorful. Of course they decided to put Crysis 2 in New York, so that's a bit of a let down.

But the market has spoken. People like military shooters because they have the best multiplayer, which is what most people are interested in (with the exception of Halo). Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll set the next CoD in South America so we can fight in a tropical rainforest. But don't say that people are ONLY making brown military shooters. The brown military shooters are just the most popular and well polished.

 

[DannyJBeckett]

]In the case of the Battlefield franchise, it would be more along the lines of if a reviewer spent the entire review discussing the concept art, and pretending the actual game part itself didn't exist.

Hence the ridiculousness of EA claiming that single-player is as important to them as multiplayer. The entire review from the moment he quoted that statement onwards was effectively a mocking of it; EA released the statement to try and save face when it turned out their single-player campaign was a wet-fart.

 

[Dak_N_Jaxter]

LOL
Ending line got a big belly laugh!

 

[MonkeyPunch]

Seems like Yatzhee still has difficulty playing FPS' ^_^
I remember him finding BF:BC2 too hard, too. (and another FPS which I can't remember)

 

[Erttheking]

Yahtzee didn't like BF3, my jaw has practically hit the ground in surprise, I hope that he will certainly enjoy MW3, there is no reason for him to not...(Sarcasm)

 

[Overquoted]

Co-op has one flight mission. One guy gets in the gunner seat, the other one flies the heli.

But I did the exact same thing as Yahtzee; spun around in circles to catch the blurry textures before they filled in. XD

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

I'm just hoping for a Timesplitters sequel. Good single player (in Future Perfect, at least) and awesome multiplayer. I don't mind multiplayer in games like Battlefield and such, but they really only entertain me for a while and then I get sick of the hooting morons and go play something else.

 

[Dalisclock]

Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll set the next CoD in South America so we can fight in a tropical rainforest. But don't say that people are ONLY making brown military shooters. The brown military shooters are just the most popular and well polished.

Umm....

World at War was half set in the Pacific(rather Tropical).
MW2 had two missions in South America(Not in the rainforest, mind you).
Black Ops had some Vietnam Jungle missions.
MW3 has a tropical mission in Sierra Leone.

That's 4 CoD games with tropical or South America.

And I'll count Bad Company 2, because it obviously wanted to be MW2 so badly, and was set in South America.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

lol, EA. We all know you don't care about singleplayer when multiplayer brings the money.

 

[rapidoud]

Modern Combat had SP before bad company kiddies.

Oh, and I've been saying the debate is pointless since '10, so now you all come around when Ben says it?

'Zomg cod is so crap lol!'
'Uhh yeah BF3 has terrible animations, slanders other games for publicity, is horribly unoptimised completely disregarding anyone without a $1000 computer every 4 years, is the same reiteration of the same formula like CoD, uses online passes commonly known as DRM, can't balance for crap, has severe rubberbanding issues even playing in my own country, has a ridiculously addicted fanbase who make the game unenjoyable for anyone who plays less than 3 hours a week. Right. Because CoD is totally the greater evil.'

How do I protest this? I don't buy the damn thing, nor pirate.