Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

[Lord Frunkamunch]

You know, anywhere else on the internet this little drama-filled slapfight wouldn't have lasted longer than a single comment. What is it about the Escapist that makes everyone so uptight?

 

[niulianzxc]

I would kill for subtitles

 

[QueerBiNatureNYC]

this review and the review of Darksiders are the funniest reviews in a while

 

[Sentient6]

Mm, Yahtzee has Twitter now...

 

[AOS]

ah i liked the monty python reference you slipped in there.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

The Pacman part made me laugh for way too long.

 

[Sucal]

Excellent Review Nazi... I mean Yahtzee...
I have to agree with some previous reply's about the 360 version being better, but I know that you will review anything that people say anyway... just like you did for the Force Unleashed one. Any chance that you will stop with your many snarky comments about the god of war clones and perhaps review Mass Effect 2 sometime soon? Yes I know the game has only been out in Australia for two days, but I want to see if your snarky comments can decide which of the two games is the breast.. I mean Best.

Wow my jokes suck.

 

[MercurySteam]

I have to say I agree with this wholeheartedly. I was as confused as Yahtzee is as to what the hell I was watching. But I'll be honest. I was pretty damn entertained.

Then I was mad because I got the "stone medal". Screw you, game! I beat you! Isn't that sufficient?

If you want better than a stone trophy you'll need to go back and play the levels again without dying so much or using many items. Sounds easy right? Don't worry, the more you play the better you get.

Right?

Um... okay. I was making a joke in agreement with one that Yahtzee made. Did you assume I had a developmental disorder, are you being facetious, or are you trolling? I'm aware that better performance will improve the trophy I get. I doubt, however, that I'll go back to play the game more than a second time. It's fun, but it's not fun or interesting enough for me to obsess over perfecting. After all, I have a job, a life, and a wife.

Uh no, alot of people are sick of getting stone trophies despite the fact they have a low completion time and high combo score, so I like to offer some helpful tips. If this is how you respond to all friendly advice then I wouldn't count on you keeping your job, life, and wife.

I'm just sayin, keeping it real. The internet was introduced to the public to make life easier so I try to help people when I can (especially if I don't know them). But I know when people don't my help. Sorry if it really got to you.

Essentially saying, "try again and this time try not to suck so much" is not friendly advice, it's patronization. The game already told me that, but thanks for your concern.

If you'd responded this way to me in real life, I probably would've just given you a quizzical look or said, "Thanks for crapping on my joke." That exchange would not lose me my job. It would make everyone who witnessed it think you were a little weird.

Well unfortunately that's the only way to get a better trophy. But everyone does better a second time round so it's kinda common sense. And if we weren't having this conversation over the internet then I would still say exactly the same thing. Also, considering no one else has said anything about my response I don't think anyone finds me "a little weird". Unless this was a thread with fanboys in it. Then people get scared of me.

 

[voxdoctor]

OK, Mr Y, I'll bite: What version of Borderlands are you using? I played thru a few times on my M$ box, don't recall a freeze.

Loved this review BTW - I never planned to buy (or rent) it. I'm not one for button mashing.

 

[Sparten0515]

Hey look, the Blog's back! anyway good review.

 

[42]

Meh Its just another game that probably will suffer Nintendo repitition syndrome. Betting on Bayonetta 2 anyone?

 

[DarkhoIlow]

Another great and funny review,well done!

 

[Muzza-Maaate]

He says tanfastic rather than fantastic at 1:58.

Made me lol.

 

[Alphavillain]

I thought he was lenient on the game. But he's right in that the game rewards repeated playthoughs, just to avoid those sodding Stone rank medals. It's definitely one of those "very easy to scrape through but very hard to master" games: I can feel Kamiya-san's reproving gaze when I do badly and I want to do better.

 

[DEEtox]

eat pills avoid ghosts although sometimes you can AAAAARGH!!

 

[PhiMed]

But everyone does better a second time round so it's kinda common sense.

Exactly, which is why I found your original post a bit insulting. It appeared to me that you made the assumption that I don't have common sense. If you'd done that in real life, I would have assumed that you were not giving friendly advice. I'd assume you were busting my chops.

So if you really were giving friendly advice, let's call this a misunderstanding. I'll learn to give people the benefit of the doubt when they seem to be treating me like a simpleton, and you'll learn that unless someone is explicitly asking for help, they probably aren't seeking it.

Now we can be friends!

 

[MercurySteam]

But everyone does better a second time round so it's kinda common sense.

Exactly, which is why I found your original post a bit insulting. It appeared to me that you made the assumption that I don't have common sense. If you'd done that in real life, I would have assumed that you were not giving friendly advice. I'd assume you were busting my chops.

So if you really were giving friendly advice, let's call this a misunderstanding. I'll learn to give people the benefit of the doubt when they seem to be treating me like a simpleton, and you'll learn that unless someone is explicitly asking for help, they probably aren't seeking it.

Now we can be friends!

No matter how advanced the internet get's, you'll never fully be able to tell if someone is being friendly or taking the piss. This happens every day

 

[Sh0ckFyre]

Wonderful review, and the final joke was hilarious.

Also, did anyone notice this is in widescreen?

 

[Tolerant Fanboy]

I can't help but wonder if anyone has seen this and plans on actually making a Yahtzee body pillow.
...
Oh God, my mental vision! What part of my brain do I stab to destroy this abomination!?

 

[soultwister]

good review, game's carried by western's entertaiment innocence when compared to japan's, it doesn't deserve the scores it gets