Zero Punctuation: Bulletstorm

[Smooth Operator]

Heh, I guess the flaming boobies weren't enough to sway Yahtzee

Actually how I felt playing it, suppose to be a shout from the past, but it's got this stupidly gritty brown and browner realistic modern shooter overlay that drags all fun away, they even put in quick time events... are you F*ing kidding me?!

People Can Fly being beaten into submission seems like a fairly accurate assessment there.

 

[Pikey Mikey]

My favorite line in there would have to be, "Now, drop the net, hit him with sticks!" I have to disagree with his review of the gameplay though. Maybe I'm just better than him, but even on hard I spent very little time hiding behind walls. As long as they died before I did I was fine. And kicking an exlpoding bouncy ball was a blast (pun not intended).

I also played it on Hard and I think it was really fun, except for those fucking snipers and the fact that sniping an enemy in the balls was almost impossible (for me), because as soon as the (normal) bullet got near they would just cower and start running to the side, urgh, charge shot was great tough =). I really liked the weapons, but I think that the Thumper cost more than it was worth (cost more than you got from using it around 3-4 enemies). And I think I read somewhere that there would be "Epic battles with Giant bosses"...Yeah there weren't much of that. The Grindwheel wasn't really a boss, the Hecaton wasn't really a boss either (altough they were giant, so ½ point for that maybe?). The plant-like boss was ok.

 

[Tulks]

So from what I'm taking into the first thirty seconds (or so) of this review is that Epic Games is Master, People Can Fly is Servant?

I prefer to think of them as Master and Blaster, respectively.

 

[Pikey Mikey]

So from what I'm taking into the first thirty seconds (or so) of this review is that Epic Games is Master, People Can Fly is Servant?

Imagine what could've been if it had been PCF had trapped Epic under the net and beaten them with sticks =) or at least 50/50

 

[EchetusXe]

This recent obsession with realism in modern video games explains why I haven't bought a single one in the past 365 days, and why I have bought two in the past three years.

 

[brazuca]

Ah the old age. Getting old means only one thing, nostalgia. I can complain about something say it was better in the past (not actually true) and say that world is ending.
During that era I remember asking how would it be with realistic and good graphics. Well I got, COD, Battlefield and MoH. Back to the BulletStorm, defenetly a buy for me, but only after getting on sale on steam

 

[Axelhander]

I played the Bulletstorm demo yesterday and thought to myself "this game is trying really, really hard to be DOOM and Gears of War at the same time, but it just doesn't work."

Glad to see I wasn't the only one.

I want DOOM 3. A *real* DOOM 3, not id's attempt to mimic what their game spawned.

 

[Something Amyss]

Entertaining review, but I believe Bulletstorm is not supposed to be thought about very hard.

few games are.

Still, they did try and shoehorn in a story, so they shouldn't be surprised someone used a couple brain cells on it.

 

[Dak_N_Jaxter]

I could have sworn for a second that this was a review of a game called "Grape Nuts" 0.o

The review very funny, but the closing joke seemed a little off to me.

 

[caviar1]

gameinformer gave this flotsam a 9.25/10.... so i guess if portal 2 gets anything under an 11/10 im shooting myself in the face

 

[esliang]

Bit of a shame that People Can Fly didn't just make a new Painkiller. I like GoW but adding that unrealistic element doesn't sound like a smart move. Oh well.

 

[Matt King]

i'm amazed he didn't mention the flaming gun with tits?

 

[EvilestDeath]

I am sad he didn't mention that one of his ideas was crafted into the game. Especially since he mentioned Painkiller several times.

Look here for an explanation if you don't already know...which you should already know about, http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/107995-Bulletstorm-Dev-Honors-Yahtzee-With-Priceless-Gift

Well I guess he can still mention it in an Extra Punctuation or something.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Entertaining review, but I believe Bulletstorm is not supposed to be thought about very hard.

If it wasn't meant to be thought about it would avoid doing things like:

Offering an explanation for a mechanic that, in the context of the world, seems short sighted and insane.

Wrangle a series of words into a phrase that makes no sense, then have the player character point out that it makes no sense, followed by doing the former a trillion more times.

Attempt to justify my murders of a planet full of people.

Make me somehow feel bad for murdering said planet full of people.

Simultaneously make me lament the loss of characters the game never bothered to characterize while offering plenty of evidence that suggests the world was probably better off without them mass murdering whatever happens to be handy.


In short, if you don't want me to think about the things I'm doing in the game, don't present me with questions and scenarios that ask me to do precisely that. Unreal never questioned the morality of murdering the denizens of some god forsaken garden world, doom never dared wonder if shooting Satan in the face was the correct choice and painkiller never really tried to question just why Heaven needed a hitman.

 

[Rad Party God]

For the first time, in a long, long time, I agreed to mostly everything Yahtzee said about the game. The game is a far cry from what People Can Fly used to be with Painkiller. The game doesn't decide if it wants to be serious or a parody or something.

I mean, I liked it and it was a good diversion for a weekend, but that's it, it's not an earth shattering game, it's just Gears of War meets Painkiller. The thing is, that, while the game wanted to be an epic space opera at times, it doesn't feel as fun and engaging as Painkiller, Doom, or my newest love, Serious Sam.

So yeah, I'd say that, for console gamers, just rent it and enjoy it for a weekend, and for PC gamers, wait for the price to go down, there are lots of games already available that are a lot much better than this. Or better yet, buy Serious Sam and/or Painkiller instead.

 

[Flauros]

If you listen closely, you can hear its actually a good review....

 

[somonels]

It has been too long since I enjoyed his reviews. The part with Epic and People Can Fly actually made me laugh by being funny, or unexpected.

 

[xPixelatedx]

I could almost not finish the demo for this game. I saw what they were trying to do, and that was respectable, but they weren't achieving it and the more they failed the more painful it was to play. Also all the references to penises and anuses made me very uncomfortable. I would have found that to be hilarious when I was 14, but I'm not 14 anymore and now when a guy talks about that all day it usually is anything but funny.

That said, I can't really stand Bulletstorm. And sadly I could not even figure out why. It just had no soul. It felt packaged and synthetic.

That's because they were trying to package 'arcady fun' which is something most game developers in the world no longer understand. You might as well be trying to package acting talent, or child-like innocence.

Now I think about it I don't remember ANYONE complaining about unrealism in shooters in the 90s.

God I miss the 90s....

Games today are made by tens of thousands of drones in a sterile environment working for a humorless suit (often being Microsoft). There is simply no feasible way for them to achieve the character and fun factor of games in the 90's, and the harder bulletstorm tried, the more it failed.

 

[Sarahcidal]

i'm somewhat surprised that he didnt mention the special gun with fire and tits..
though i imagine it isnt exactly what he meant.. they just tossed a little sticker of firey bosoms on the side off the gum.. i imagine yahtzee would like the gun to have actually been on fire.. and to actually have had tits.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Realism sucks. There, I've said it.

Give us ESCAPISM. That's why we're here.