Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

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Steve the Pocket

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Mar 30, 2009
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The hilarious irony about all this Duke Nukem stuff is that, while the developers were such insane perfectionists that they actually started from scratch every time a game came out that was better than what they had finished so far, the one thing the last eleven years have proved is that the franchise has one of the most easy-to-please fanbases on Earth.
 

maximara

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Jul 13, 2008
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Beldaros said:
RedMenace said:
Bah! I was expecting an actual review of an actual game this week. Quit slacking off Yahtzee. Do your job.
I couldn't agree more
Actually this ties very well to his hype complaints (see 'The E3 Trailer Park') and Yahtzee did take a stab at the Duke Nukem Forever teaser way back in 'Yahtzee Goes to GDC'.
 

ggorg

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Jun 11, 2009
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Nice vid, however...
I'm not sure if there has been a comment to this same effect (too lazy to go trawling for it), but the case between Take 2 and 3DR is not as clear cut as what Take 2 is making out:
http://ve3d.ign.com/articles/news/47184/3D-Realms-Responds-To-Take-Twos-Duke-Nukem-Forever-Lawsuit

If 3DR is to be believed, Take 2 are royal assholes. It's not because they are threatening a game (I'm sure Take 2 could get someone else to do it) that so many people have been hyped up about, but just because of what 3DR are claiming that they've done.

The short and curly of it (for those that are not going to bother using the link) seems like Take 2 had no intention of letting 3DR do it their way from the very start. You don't invest money for publishing rights (without the dev party in question there mind you), then string 3DR along, possibly knowing full well they can't ask anybody else for funding since their original Infogrames deal. Making you (Take 2) their only hope for continued development. I'm sure Take 2 could have dug out some pocket change to keep it going. They were not loosing any money on the deal, and with 3DR clearly reaching a goal (we only have 3DRs word on that) this move was all about fattening up DNF by letting 3DR sink their money into it, then at the last second take the lot for well under what 3DR had already spent. It's theft and I've seen it happen before (I work in this industry, the dev bit not the thievery ;) ).

As for long development times: none of us outside of 3DRs team really knew what it was like. It could have been that 3DR felt assumed that they could support the dev team they had, small as it may have been, through sales of existing games (they did manage to spend 20 million on DNF). So instead of sitting there saying shit like 'oh it's taking soooo long, they're idiots, I'm smart, I would have done it quicker', try to keep it in your pants. You've clearly let the hype by other get to you (plus I'm sure you have no idea what you're talking about).
 

Gyrefalcon

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Jun 9, 2009
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Is this the line for the undersea pony rides? How much extra does it cost to get a picture with Yahtzee at the end?

On a technical note: I got a copy of D.N.F. off of Craigslist but the 10th disc is scratched! I don't know how I can finish all 14 discs worth of the game now! And I was just up to the cooking for the alien wedding part! :(
 

qecman

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Apr 6, 2009
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ok, first of all i have never heard of nukeman or something. and if it where available in canada then i should probably get off my ass and check EB games instead of gamefly (when pigs fly)
 

Markness

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Apr 23, 2008
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Tehpwnsauce said:
I corrected the way you spelt sentence not maturity. And you've tried to recover from that by the weak technique of burying my reply in text. Face it I'm wittier and smarter than you, you will not win this argument so just give up.
As much as I admire your willingness to argue and your tendency to cut down those lacking in intelligence (I do it too), as you may have learnt It's always better to keep it on topic.

Roffey123 said:
Tehpwnsauce said:
donkeybollocks2009 said:
Tehpwnsauce:
oi m8 i saw ur mum on redtube yh sucking some blac kcock
Very mature. Honestly I find it quite sad that you watch porn.
I watch porn...as does the majority of the male population here. Not that they'd admit it so openly.
I interpreted his comeback as a witty comment about his maturity being below 18 and thus expressing sadness that our minors are being corrupted.

Now that I have that out of the way, I'll add a post of appreciation for this "review" and find these types of videos more interesting than the regular review.
 

bodyklok

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Sethstorm said:
ok this is for everyone who posted about getting this game, it was a joke, he was making fun of the fact that 3d realms is being sued for not doing their job, in addition read the bit when the escapist logo holds up the contract read what it says >.>
I know dude, I can't believe some people thought that DNF had actually come out.
 

sooperg

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Feb 25, 2009
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lol. i was born on the day it was announced. but it still ain't coming out yet, thick person #1
angelblack said:
phhhbt, old.
I finished it last week.
not possible dipshit. it hasn't come out yet. and if it has, show me your youtube video and make a playthrough. cause otherwise. i know youre LYING!
 

thejrade

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Jun 16, 2009
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Just coming back from Afghanistan after a year, I'll have to admit being a little embarrassed it took me a good minute or two to figure out the joke :)
 

bodyklok

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sooperg said:
angelblack said:
phhhbt, old.
I finished it last week.
not possible dipshit. it hasn't come out yet. and if it has, show me your youtube video and make a play through. cause otherwise. I know you're LYING!
What he said was a joke, honestly how could you not realise that?
 

bodyklok

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thejrade said:
Just coming back from Afghanistan after a year, I'll have to admit being a little embarrassed it took me a good minute or two to figure out the joke :)
Don't worry dude, most people did the same thing. T wasn't sure what was going on until half way through.

Congrats on coming back from Afghanistan by the way.
 

angelblack

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Jul 3, 2008
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sooperg said:
lol. i was born on the day it was announced. but it still ain't coming out yet, thick person #1
angelblack said:
phhhbt, old.
I finished it last week.
not possible dipshit. it hasn't come out yet. and if it has, show me your youtube video and make a playthrough. cause otherwise. i know youre LYING!
Gz, you're the first person in 23 pages of replies to not get the joke.
 

thejrade

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Jun 16, 2009
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Possibly even funnier, I also thought the thread about the "Halo killer gets life" had something to do with Gears of War 2...
 

Loop Stricken

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Jun 17, 2009
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Might I be the first to say that this game isn't out yet?

... what do you mean, over 20 pages?
... what do you mean a joke?!