Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

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Jay23L

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Apr 23, 2008
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I think he's talked his fastest yet in this review.

Plus pony trekking with Jimi Hendrix under the sea would be awesome. Obviously.
 

SYSTEM-J

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Aug 7, 2008
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-bladerunner- said:
*sigh* He can't comment on gameplay because the game IS NOT OUT and may never be, he was only talking about how the game should be when it is released due to the time it is taking to 'develop' it (or did you not understand the extremely radical change in Yahtzee's reviewing style ie. he had nothing bad to say about the game).

Read up on the subject before making unfounded complaints about it.
I was being ironic...
 

Crazyshak48

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Mar 3, 2008
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I admit, he had me going at first. At first, I was amazed that it came out and I missed it. Then I was suspicious when he began espousing its glory. Then I knew it was a joke when he got to the controls.

Absolutely glorious from beginning to end!
 

MiloBMofo

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May 7, 2009
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patiently waiting for another dose of hilarity from mr y and was wondering what he could review didn't see a joke review coming out,

Though any fps with full frontal nudy bits gets my vote cos if it were a well rendered chick and normal guy will sit there open mouthed getting his balls well and truly blown off and won't progress any further.

and has far as the achievments go, how would say a 360 know if you 'got a life' ?
 

maximara

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Jul 13, 2008
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ohitefin said:
It pisses me off because publishers wasted millions of dollars on this game when they could have spent that money on funding great games like Psychonauts,Braid etc.Games like Assassin's creed give me hope because it was a huge risk and it paid off. Hopefully publishers will learn a lesson from it.
Sadly given the way the gaming community is I doubt it. The one thing I don't understand about Duke Nukem Forever is why it was allowed to go along for over a decade. you would have think somebody on the money end of this would have said 'ok this isn't working' and puled the flipping plug.
 

Warstratigier

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Mar 28, 2009
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I knew right off the bat Yahtzee was going to have something sarcastic to say, seeing the current, and very retarded, events that is going on with 3dRealms.

Also those that took it seriously/thought it was actually out might as well have the IQ of 3dRealms themselves.
 

Crais

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May 27, 2008
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Clever man. Clever, clever, clever. And if I if I ever g into the gaming industry, I will work my ASS off to make a game that incorporates everything mentioned here.
 

The_SCSIBug

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Mar 6, 2009
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4fromK said:
Bellvedere said:
Cut open a cynic and you'll find a wounded optimist.
That shit is deep, man. Is it yours, or are you quoting?
Actually, that phrase isn't Bellvedere's; it's my mother's. But neither she nor I got credit for it.

Damn those embedded quote tags, eh?
 

-bladerunner-

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Dec 22, 2008
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SYSTEM-J said:
-bladerunner- said:
*sigh* He can't comment on gameplay because the game IS NOT OUT and may never be, he was only talking about how the game should be when it is released due to the time it is taking to 'develop' it (or did you not understand the extremely radical change in Yahtzee's reviewing style ie. he had nothing bad to say about the game).

Read up on the subject before making unfounded complaints about it.
I was being ironic...
Yeah sorry about that :(
 

geldonyetich

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Aug 2, 2006
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Just as a fan's expectations about a game inevitably prove greater than the reality, Yahtzee's tongue-in-cheek Duke Nukem Forever review proved greater than a review about an actual released game.

Imagine if you could go back in time and get hired by 3D Realms to work on Duke Nukem Forever? I could putz around inventing and reinventing a game for 10 years without having to worry about ever releasing because I know it's not meant to be. Waxing their game development mental love-muscle for 10 years free of obligation is the ultimate game developer dream scenario.

Actually, such a waxing would probably produce more results then trying to make Duke Nukem work in a post 9/11 world. I'd end up usurping massive amounts of Duke Nukem Forever development money to make a game that actually had a chance instead. The time-space continuum would break under the displaced pressure of World of Warcraft largely proving untenable because the game I created by screwing around on Duke Nukem Forever's dime turned out to be 10 times better.
 

ark123

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Feb 19, 2009
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No, it didn't. Stop saying it did. This isn't funny, you morons. I want to hear Yahtzee talk about games he either loves or hates, not games that were never released. Yeah, we get it, the game was never released and expectations were built up. "Duke Nukem For Never" jokes were mildly funny ten years ago. Pointing out the irony in the title was funny for about five minutes in the 90's.
This is a test. Yahtzee knows this is shit, he's checking if he needs to bust his ass coming up with funny shit or if his name is big enough that he can just pump out complete crap and the sycophants eat it up. I get it though, why bother going up to Monty Python level when the average viewer thinks pictures of cats with misspelled words written on top of them is the pinnacle of comedy? Fuck, I hate you all.
 

in_95

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Jul 2, 2008
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good review. though you forgot to mention that on hard difficulty setting the dry humping is done nude.
 

sneak_copter

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Nov 3, 2008
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Jesus christ, I looked at the title and thought "Man, is that out?"
before being slapped with the cold truth: I just don't care anymore.
 

geldonyetich

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ark123 said:
"Duke Nukem For Never" jokes were mildly funny ten years ago. Pointing out the irony in the title was funny for about five minutes in the 90's.
[...]
This is a test. Yahtzee knows this is shit, he's checking if he needs to bust his ass coming up with funny shit or if his name is big enough that he can just pump out complete crap and the sycophants eat it up.
Actually, the reason why he chose to do this Duke Nukem Forever thing is because its recent cancellation makes it highly topical to write up commentary on how much of an epic waste it turned out to be.

Knowing that doesn't make you a Yahtzee fanboy. Not knowing that and getting your panties in a bunch because Yahtzee didn't do a "real" review just means the context was too deep for you to pick up on.

I want to hear Yahtzee talk about games he either loves or hates, not games that were never released.
So noted. What we want or expect, however, is rarely what reality will deliver.
 

Ormick

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Jan 7, 2009
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First time Yahtzee has actually made me actually laugh hard, primarily due to the fact that there are twice as many comments as he usually gets. Kinda makes me wish that some student group would simply take over and release an Unreal Mod or something.
 

kalaim

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Feb 12, 2008
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Hahahaa! ooohh god that was so hilarious, i almost forgot that i was waitin for this game like a cure for cancer.