Zero Punctuation: E3 2012

[Flunk]

Wow, I didn't realize that an English accent just involved speaking in an American Accent and mildly changing the pitch. It turns out that all those people I met in England the 8 times I've been there, any person I've ever spoken to on the phone or over the internet and all 25 of my English family members have just been having a laugh at my expense for all this time.

 

[duchaked]

lol guess I've learned from Yahtzee not to fall for the E3 hype machine
I def waited until the gameplay demos before feeling excited for anything, and some those I thought (Halo 4 and AC 3 looked good)
but especially the Watchdogs demo, which was one I randomly watched because I was bored and WOW... shiny

my friend got all excited by the Wii-U presentations and I tried to see why but turns out my friend is just kinda braindead and not my friend anymore :[

 

[Endocrom]

I didn't get hyped for Master Chief's new hat, I got hyped for Master Chief punching Ghost Rider in the teeth when he tried to throw him a surprise party.

 

[Nazulu]

Heh. I've been saying cinematic trailers are a big waste of money and time since 2003, before I became disappointed with the industry.

However, I've seen game play videos for all the games you mentioned on Youtube though. Did they mostly just show cinematics at E3 Yahtzee?

 

[Nexxis]

I've tried watching E3 once, but got bored very quickly. More shooters, more sequals/prequals/in-betwenquals of shooters or other games I don't play, and too much hype, not enough substance. I prefer to wait until a game is out and people have had time to play it before I decide if I want to bother looking at it. I also try to wait until the initial excitement of the game's release to die down since some people might give a game a perfect review just because they're excited about it and likely to overlook flaws.

 

[awdrifter]

Watchdogs definitely looks good. It's like a mix of Deus Ex HR, GTA and a tiny bit of Assassin's Creed. As for Tomb Raider, I actually find the new Lara sexier. I feel like this year's E3 is just a left over. Game developers knows this gen's consoles are coming to an end, but the console manufacturers (except for Nintendo) aren't ready to show off their stuff. But one trailer that I'm excited for is Agni's Philosophy (SquareEnix's Luminous engine), if FF15 will look that good, I will suffer through the mediocre gameplay.

 

[ultrachicken]

waaaahhhhh the teaser trailers didn't have gameplay! yet there was still plenty of gameplay videos for dishonored and the new assassins creed and halo. obviously someone just skimmed E3 this year.

Seriously. I had a raised eyebrow through a lot of the video. It doesn't seem like Yahtzee and I even watched the same E3.

 

[iblis666]

damn i get all excited for dishonored based on the stabbing and the fact that bethesda is publishing only to find out it isnt open world.

really need a steam punk open world game with magic and the ability to stab people in the face while mutilating them preferably taking place in a city

 

[kouriichi]

I can wholeheartedly agree with him for once. Watch Dogs is the only game i was even slightly surprised by, and as such, is the only game im looking forward too.

 

[deadpoolhulk]

first thing i thought was "Oh wow is it that time of year again? that was quick."

 

[Biodeamon]

good i'm not the only one who thought deadspace 3 looks like deadspace...
i mean srsly...ornage glowy weakspots, snowy planet, weird suits, etc. i mean COME ON.

and actually i would pay money if the T-rex molestes laura,

Uh, I think you made a little bit of a typo there.

nope.
<youtube=igud0cq8DBU>

 

[Clearing the Eye]

Never understood why people care about E3. The entire premise is designed around the notion of showing people edited portions of games they can't play yet. I don't care what's coming out in several months or some time next year. Why would I. Throw a gameplay trailer online and stop your showboating, for Christ's sake.

 

[rolandoftheeld]

Since when is FEAR a horror game? Was it when you shot 1,000 body-armored dudes in the face, or the giant laser-gatling bipedal robots? Or when you shot another 3,000 body-armored dudes in the face?

I guess it was when everything was magically on fire for three seconds, right before you shot 1,500 more body-armored dudes in the face.

 

[porpoise hork]

You can POSSESS A FISH. Your argument is invalid.

From what he said you can become Aqua Man and use it to swim into certain areas of the map.. If you choose.. So that moves it to the not integral to the game play slop bucket. So possessing a fish in this game from all points of reference adds nothing, thus making it a gimmick.

Everyone is overreacting, just because there was no HUGE announcement that involved an original IP doesn't mean it's just shooters and gimmicks only.

From everything I have seen so far other than it being in a steam punk styleized city it's nothing more than a cross between Assassin's Creed and System Shock. Yes its a new title, but that doesn't mean its not more of the same thing we haven't already played in countless other games in some form or fashion.

There was Dishonored, Watch_Dogs, Hawken, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Assassin's Creed III, Arma III, Beyond: Two Souls, Borderlands 2, Crysis 3, Halo 4 and LITERALY HUNDREDS MORE.

Stop whining about there only being shooters and everything being a gimmick or stupid because it couldn't be more of a lie!

I never said that there was only shooters. There were plenty of gimmicks and with out a doubt plenty of stupid at E3.. Just as it is with EVERY E3. You have a few gleaming titles among the throngs of meh, and for me Dishonored is meh at best.

You can go on and defend it with all the examples of why you feel it will be awesome that you like.. That's entirely your prerogative. In the end it's opinions you like it, I don't.

 

[murmler]

It's strange that, after explaining how he doesn't genuinely hate Nintendo, a few weeks ago, he starts off by ripping them a new one again. Not that his criticism isn't due, I more concerned about the fact that Nintendo was still among the least bad at this E3, with Ubisoft being the undisputed winner this year, because they didn't forget to show some bloody games.

What Yahtzee forgot to mention were the actual losers, Micro$oft and EA, and boy did they fail harder than I've ever seen a company fail at E3. Not only did they grace us with the biggest number of casualised rubbish, I'd even go as far as saying that while Nintendo and Sony kind of forgot to actually bring their games, M$ and EA don't seem to even know what games are anymore.

So yeah, Yahtzee's hate for everything in existence loses a lot of its impact, when most sane people become bitter cynics after having endured these slaps to our faces year after year.

 

[PhunkyPhazon]

"Does Nintendo think we all live in Mormon farmhouses or something?"

I wonder, could this be some kind of cultural difference? Is family together time and more common in Japan? Do their gamers actually tend to have, like, social lives? Because I am sick and tired of hearing their half-assed excuses for not including online play in games that would only benefit from online play.

 

[porpoise hork]

It's strange that, after explaining how he doesn't genuinely hate Nintendo, a few weeks ago, he starts off by ripping them a new one again.

probably because they just keep doing the same thing over and over.

What Yahtzee forgot to mention were the actual losers, Micro$oft and EA, and boy did they fail harder than I've ever seen a company fail at E3. Not only did they grace us with the biggest number of casualised rubbish, I'd even go as far as saying that while Nintendo and Sony kind of forgot to actually bring their games, M$ and EA don't seem to even know what games are anymore.

It would be like beating a dead horse. Everyone else ranted about it so from his review he focused on some lesser talked about titles.

So yeah, Yahtzee's hate for everything in existence loses a lot of its impact, when most sane people become bitter cynics after having endured these slaps to our faces year after year.

Well look at it this way, people are finally starting to wake up after years of him holding their heads under the putrescent waters of knowledge only to realize how bad the gaming industry is as a whole has become.

 

[XcessGAMR]

Oh nice work Yahtzee, now howl Watch Dogs ever live up to expectations?

I'm both impressed and disappointed and how much I laughed at that!

Great as ever Yahtzee. Can't wait for Watch Dogs either

 

[Michael Ellis]

She is being deliberately harrased to make us white knights care about her.

Wow, that's so inaccurate it's not even funny. And what, caring about a character suddenly became a perversion overnight while I was sleeping?

Sexualized=\=perversive FYI. Look into it. Got nothing more to say

BUT IT'S NOT SEXUALIZED!

 

[Reptiloid]

Really, what idiot thought it would be a good idea to have purely cinematic trailers for games? All you get out of those type of trailers is purely story related, which is not at all the most important aspect of a solid video game.

Sure, a good story is a nice bonus, but a good story can't hold up on its own if the gameplay is shit, at that point it might as well just be a movie or animation. Revealing absolutely fuckall about the gameplay and mechanics, leaving the viewers completely clueless as to why they should be excited... doesn't really seem like the best strategy, eh?

The sameish orchestral background music is really getting old too, but I'd take that any day over goddamn rap or dubstep. Most trailers these days are absolutely useless, it's sad...