Zero Punctuation: Fez and I Am Alive

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Balkan

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Sep 5, 2011
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Fronzel said:
porpoise hork said:
Balkan said:
wow this review is a mess .I dont even know what yahtzee is talking about .

Seemed pretty straight forward to me. He was sick as hell last week. He hates Tom Cruise. He thought Fez was shit. He thought I Am Alive was shit.
I thought that people who were unable to comprehend whether Yahtzee liked a game or not had stopped posting in the comment threads long ago.
I think he didnt hated i am alive . He was just dissapointed and this is why the review wasnt so possitive .I mean when I played mw3 i thought it will be better than black ops but it turned out quite shit .The game wasnt as bad as the dissapointment .
 

Frictionmakesfire

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Mar 25, 2012
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I'd really like to see a survival game that doesn't concern itself with story. I want a game that just dumps me in some sort of randomly generated hellscape and says "Now survive, you prick." Just make it about finding resources and not getting killed by bandits/mutants/zombies/reallypissedoffplants. Maybe the end goal could be to build some kind of self contained settlement or something. And once you do that, you just make a new game in a new randomly generated environment and start over.
 

Darth_Payn

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necromanzer52 said:
Qitz said:
Wait, you still have Tonsils Yahtzee? Doesn't everyone get those remove when they're a kid?
They don't do that anymore. Nowadays you just take antibiotics for a few days and it clears up.
I never got my tonsils removed and I had no problems, except for missing out on free buckets of ice cream. Got my wisdom teeth pulled, tho. they gave me the good stuff to knock me out. But back on topic... INCOMING PREDICTABLE JOKE!

If yahtzee was a Doctor Who fan, he'd have said "I play FEZ now. FEZ is cool." I'm surprised no one else here made that joke.
 

DoveAlexa

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Oct 28, 2009
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No Easter eggs are NOT cheaper this time of year, because the day after Easter TESCO's took them all away! >.<
 

DSQ

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Jun 30, 2009
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. - .. -... -- .-. / -- . .- -. ... / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- / .- .-.. .-.. / -.-- .- .... --.. --.. .
Now that I've got that off my chest get well soon yahtzee.

Even though Fez is described as basically samey I still wanna play it even after this review if only of the QR code puzzle.
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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I don't think I get how delicious your tonsils looked. Could you elaborate?

subtlefuge said:
No excuse for anyone liking I Am Alive. I'm actually disappointed that Yahtzee went so easy on it.
I dislike it purely because Ubisoft <link=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/114356-I-Am-Alive-Producer-Dismisses-Bitching-PC-Gamers>won't let me play and were absolutely douchecanoetastic about it and then had the balls to <link=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/114378-I-Am-Alive-Dev-Claims-Mistranslation-Says-PC-Might-Still-Happen>claim that it was because the representative doesn't speak perfect English.

Are there other reasons I should dislike it?
 

subtlefuge

Lord Cromulent
May 21, 2010
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lacktheknack said:
I don't think I get how delicious your tonsils looked. Could you elaborate?

subtlefuge said:
No excuse for anyone liking I Am Alive. I'm actually disappointed that Yahtzee went so easy on it.
I dislike it purely because Ubisoft <link=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/114356-I-Am-Alive-Producer-Dismisses-Bitching-PC-Gamers>won't let me play and were absolutely douchecanoetastic about it and then had the balls to <link=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/114378-I-Am-Alive-Dev-Claims-Mistranslation-Says-PC-Might-Still-Happen>claim that it was because the representative doesn't speak perfect English.

Are there other reasons I should dislike it?
The game looks bad, not just old. It suffers from its long delays and development cycle like Duke Nukem Forever. The AI is either homicidal or suicidal. The game is a bit fond of its nudging people towards cliffs and kicking them in mechanic (as in you'll do it hundreds of times). The climbing is tedious and often counter-intuitive. The fighting is entirely difficult and repetitive quick time events. The main story is practically non-existent, and it resolves itself in a matter of minutes. 80% of the game is based around various fetch quests that lend nothing in sense of reward or accomplishment.

The game has excellent ideas, but it sucks. It's like Deadly Premonition minus the story and charm.
 

disappointed

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Sep 14, 2011
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As a PS3 owner, I'm just glad to hear someone say something negative (or a bit less than gushing, at least) about Fez. It's enough to make me think it's one of those really highly rated games that I might not enjoy as much as I'm told I should. Flower was boring and I could never get into Braid. This may well reflect the fact that I am a bad person. I don't care. I still hold out hope for Papa and Yo, though.
 

1nfinite_Cros5

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Mar 31, 2010
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Aw, I was hoping he'd review Journey next to I Am Alive.

Blimey there are a lot of indie games involving exploration this year.
 

Baron_Rouge

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Oct 30, 2009
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I love these XBLA reviews, but I'm wondering why he never reviews anything PSN. While I'm sure XBLA has a whole host of awesome games, PSN has some awesome exclusives too; Flower, Rochard, Malcious, and of course Journey all spring to mind. Journey even has you travel through the ruins of a once great civilization!
 

Samantha Burt

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Jan 30, 2012
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Avarice of Man said:
Ah alas, people with the inability to pick up on sarcasm and don't have any skill in reading people do still exist. Not complaining though, couldn't be any easier playing them in poker if they just gave me the money. You ever feel like they just don't even try to do it because everything else hands them a cheat sheet?
While not everyone is such, there is a condition called Asperger's Syndrome, essentially mild autism, that does prevent these things. It's hell to live with because people don't understand that you don't understand them and seem to get quite aggressive when you fail to cry at a funeral or when you fail to pick up on irony in someone's speech. Just saying.
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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Qitz said:
Wait, you still have Tonsils Yahtzee? Doesn't everyone get those remove when they're a kid?
Still got mine.

Interested in Fez, but I've not tried the demo yet.
 

Reptiloid

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Nov 10, 2010
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Seriously, is scanning a fucking bar code required to make progress in FEZ? Is the iPhone considered to be something EVERYONE owns in this day and age, like a TV?

This might just be the dumbest and most ridiculous game design choice I've ever heard of, sincerely hope it's just a joke on Yahtzee's part.
 

FallenMessiah88

So fucking thrilled to be here!
Jan 8, 2010
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Huh, Yahtzee was sick last week? I didn't notice.

Anyway, both these games look pretty awesome. I'll be sure to add them both to my long list of downloade games I need to try.
 

ClockworkAngel

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Nov 9, 2008
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Through the comments I was able to find out about Yume Nikki, but does anyone know the first game he mentions?

Also, hope Yahtzee gets better soon. Enjoyed the review. If Fez actually has a QR code in-game that needs to be scanned to solve a puzzle (whether required or optional), I'm going like having that game in my game library a little less.