Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
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it gets good after 10 hours, 20 hours ...
do you remember Daikatana? The infamous expert FPS that almost ended John Romero's career and pulled Ion Storm with it.
Almost all the negative stuff reviewers pointed out about it (except for the sidekicks) - all the green crap, the mosquitoes and frogs - was in the first couple of levels of the game.
It's been rumoured that it got better later on (of course, Proteus4994 of Something Awful would dispute that). But that first chapter (out of four) would probably have taken a couple of hours to play through at most.
Of course, that Daikatana would get better after a couple of episodes might just have been consequences of the Stockholm syndrome, that would most certainly affect those who purchased the game and wouldn't accept they had wasted their money.
Now I wonder if FF13 genuinely gets better later on, or if those who just wasted a full day playing a game that was not entertaining would have to convince themselves that they were having fun after all.
do you remember Daikatana? The infamous expert FPS that almost ended John Romero's career and pulled Ion Storm with it.
Almost all the negative stuff reviewers pointed out about it (except for the sidekicks) - all the green crap, the mosquitoes and frogs - was in the first couple of levels of the game.
It's been rumoured that it got better later on (of course, Proteus4994 of Something Awful would dispute that). But that first chapter (out of four) would probably have taken a couple of hours to play through at most.
Of course, that Daikatana would get better after a couple of episodes might just have been consequences of the Stockholm syndrome, that would most certainly affect those who purchased the game and wouldn't accept they had wasted their money.
Now I wonder if FF13 genuinely gets better later on, or if those who just wasted a full day playing a game that was not entertaining would have to convince themselves that they were having fun after all.
You know this video reminds me of something I see more and more of these days: gamers are sensitive little bitches who complain about every last goddamned thing. For example, Yahtzee pointing out a "weak" character like Hope carrying around a weapon-grade boomerang. Back in the day we would just file this sort of thing under "videogame weirdness" like Samus turning into a ball or Mario's raccoon tail allowing him to fly, then proceed to enjoy the hell out it. But now people nitpick everything for "breaking immersion" or some other such nonsense.
If SMB3 were released today with no franchise history there would be 10 page dissertations on the internet screaming about how the warp whistles "ruin the game" and endless threads about how Luigi is an "Emo ******."
If SMB3 were released today with no franchise history there would be 10 page dissertations on the internet screaming about how the warp whistles "ruin the game" and endless threads about how Luigi is an "Emo ******."
As a fan of Final Fantasy games whose appreciation for the series has proven impossible to kill even after VIII and X and well each one since VII has been disappointing to me, really, but the point is I am a fan and I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YAHTZEE SAID ABOUT XIII. Disappointed by Square Enix again. It's like having a child who was great until it hit puberty and is now a complete loser.
I liked XII. They took every good new feature from XII and threw it in the fucking trash to make XIII. WHY? Why can't I take control of any character I want during battle? And WHY is it game over if the leader of the party dies? Is the AI too stupid to use pheonix downs on its own?
Hilarious review. Even better than usual.
I liked XII. They took every good new feature from XII and threw it in the fucking trash to make XIII. WHY? Why can't I take control of any character I want during battle? And WHY is it game over if the leader of the party dies? Is the AI too stupid to use pheonix downs on its own?
Hilarious review. Even better than usual.
have to mostly agree with Yahtzee, and i like the Final Fantasy series. I've got all of them since seven, and played pretty much every one of them. But XIII is rather boring. I'm not engrossed at all, I don't care about the story (like i did in VII) and the visuals aren't wowing me (like they did in IX and X and even X-2), and i can't believe they're moving backwards from the in situ combat from XII. Yahtzee is right, the combat could be taking place on another plane of existence and the dialogue in this one is pretty weak, and for the record I'm well past the 20 hour mark and this Final Fantasy is still rather luke warm. So luke warm in fact I've put it down and started playing Dragon Age again for some real RPG action. And talk about linearity... "Go this way to get to next cut scene or follow diverging paths to find containers with stuff in it, then return to original path anyway". Pretty disappointed...
This game just look like i will never attach to the characters which is a killer for any game. So damn it, god damn it all (all 3 discs of it) to hell.
Oh, and I so have to tell my friend about the flame wars here. I CALLED it! He thought you guys wouldn't get into a huge argument about Yahtzee's opinion and critiquing, but I said "f*cking balls they will. It's Final Fantasy, fanbois will rush to the defence, and Yahtzee fanbois shall counter."
...I was right. I'm not saying that by being a fan of either you're bad. I like Yahtzee. My friend likes FF. I'm saying that I'm hearing a lot of whining. As a Yahtzee sider, my opinion leans on Fanbois crying "unprofessional", but I'm sure my friend will differ.
...I was right. I'm not saying that by being a fan of either you're bad. I like Yahtzee. My friend likes FF. I'm saying that I'm hearing a lot of whining. As a Yahtzee sider, my opinion leans on Fanbois crying "unprofessional", but I'm sure my friend will differ.
When I first saw that Yahtzee was reviewing this game, I almost flipped out. I rechecked the date to make sure it wasn't April 1st. I laughed so hard at my own stupidity. Then at the video. That was truly funny and completely true. I can't get past turn based combat either
@beauwight
Perhaps if there were an italics or bold option, then ALL CAPS wouldn't be necessary...it's kind of like when you raise the volume of your voice to create inFLECtion? I would have thought that people would still be getting upset over posts that weren't ALL caps.
Oh, and just so you know, THIS
Perhaps if there were an italics or bold option, then ALL CAPS wouldn't be necessary...it's kind of like when you raise the volume of your voice to create inFLECtion? I would have thought that people would still be getting upset over posts that weren't ALL caps.
Oh, and just so you know, THIS
Beauwight said:
^-^Hubilub said:
Soon after final fantasy 10 was released square merged with enix to become square enix, a company that was cursed never to release a decent game. The curse continues!
On a side note final fantasy 9 is and probably will always be the best game ever.
Certainly not what I expected.
Yahtzee actually had a similar falling out with Final Fantasy as I did. Except instead of becoming a Dragon Quest, he went this route. God bless him for it. I'm serious.
You are a stronger person than I, Yahtzee. I wouldn't touch FFXIII with a 49-and-a-half-foot pole. But that's why I'm not a critic. This review made me happy, and wasn't the 5 minutes of pre-established throat gargling that I was anticipating.
Nice job.
Yahtzee actually had a similar falling out with Final Fantasy as I did. Except instead of becoming a Dragon Quest, he went this route. God bless him for it. I'm serious.
You are a stronger person than I, Yahtzee. I wouldn't touch FFXIII with a 49-and-a-half-foot pole. But that's why I'm not a critic. This review made me happy, and wasn't the 5 minutes of pre-established throat gargling that I was anticipating.
Nice job.
@Canvouku
Ironically enough, I am both a Yahtzee fan AND a FFanboy, but this game was just too much of a piece of garbage...I am COMPELLED through shittiness of product to agree with our vitriolic champion. I just can't STAND it when people start showing the world just what kinds of assholes they really are...
AGAIN, Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory at work:
Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad
I just would have liked to see Yahtzee rip on this one more thoroughly...in fact, for the first ten hours of gameplay, I kept thinking, "Man, Yahtzee is gonna tear this one up..."
But then he didn't, and I has a disappointed.
Ironically enough, I am both a Yahtzee fan AND a FFanboy, but this game was just too much of a piece of garbage...I am COMPELLED through shittiness of product to agree with our vitriolic champion. I just can't STAND it when people start showing the world just what kinds of assholes they really are...
AGAIN, Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory at work:
Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad
I just would have liked to see Yahtzee rip on this one more thoroughly...in fact, for the first ten hours of gameplay, I kept thinking, "Man, Yahtzee is gonna tear this one up..."
But then he didn't, and I has a disappointed.
Ah hah hah!kuzaro said:
You actually attribute the merger to the lack of good games from Square Enix? Both companies were going to go down the toilet for odd reasons, Square's being the mediocre cinema bomb Spirits Within. Enix was the side that was hesitant to merge, but they did so for monies.
And in my personal opinion, Square Enix lives on through Enix and the Dragon Quest series. Dragon Quest VIII, yo.
I dunno, I liked FFXIII. You can tell me that it was terrible all that you want, but i really liked it, so... there wasn't a reason for me to watch the review anyway. (Just for entertainment i suppose) As Yahtzee said himself in the Mailbag episode "It's worth remembering that reviews are subjective personal opinions, and if you personally enjoy the game then they really shouldn't get to you!"