Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

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littlerudi08107

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Sep 23, 2009
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I rented FF13 recently and I think I can accurately describe it as Final Fantasy 7 with a creamy .hack//sign sauce served with a side of Mass Effect.

And I agree, Vanille is the worst Final Fantasy character ever, even worse than Tidus.
 

scorptatious

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May 14, 2009
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After playing through Final Fantasy X for the first time, I can finally understand why you hate the kooky spice characters so much.

God I wanted Rikku to die so much in that game. I cannot comprehend how people actually like her.

With FF7 and FF9, (the only other two FF games I've played so far.) I didn't mind Yuffie and Eiko so much. The former because she's a ninja and ninjas are awesome (also she's an optional character for people who hate that kind of character), the latter because she's a little kid, therefore it makes sense for her to act that way.
 

Da Joz

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May 19, 2009
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I have played and every final fantasy (except 11 and some spinoffs) and have generally really enjoyed them. But this game one is just plain awful.
 

Justin Harris

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Mar 24, 2010
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You all DO realize there hasn't been an authentic Final Fantasy game since 9 right? Anyone who had actually been associated with the previous titles quit when Squaresoft was bought out. 10 was only vaguely assembled from scraps of notes. Every Final Fantasy since then, has been a pretender, created by a 3rd party company that Sqare Enix outsources the project too. Do some research, and for those misty eyed folks that thought they were being true to their title of choice, they may now quietly go hang themselves, for they've been feeding the murderer of their series. :)
 

Justin Blade

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Sep 23, 2010
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AgentBJ09 said:
nicodeemus327 said:
At least you're honest with yourself. That was rather unprofessional. Then again most of us don't watch your videos for an actual review. It's just fun to listen to a fast talking person with a English accent that swears a lot.
Would you consider Destructoid's review unprofessional? They hated the game for one very big reason, among others: Good art not compensating for a poorly executed story and game.

Read it and see for yourself: http://www.destructoid.com/review-final-fantasy-xiii-167136.phtml

From Destructiod: "The game has plenty of promising ideas. The central theme of inescapable destiny, interspersed with hints of racial prejudice and propaganda, could have been something excellent. However, not enough time is devoted to the exploration of these themes. Instead, most of the game is given over to having the characters whine about how hopeless their situation is every thirty minutes. That's when the game isn't introducing epic FMV cutscenes that contain no narrative value whatsoever, just because Square Enix's art department felt like publicly masturbating."

Agreed. I saw nothing but that sort of thing in the months leading up to the game's release, and once the game came out and someone convinced my to rent it from work, which is Gamestop by the way, I knew Square Enix had done something wrong. Afterward, I kept wondering why this game was given such high reviews, and I think it's because people know it's bad, but just can't bring themselves to admit that this game deserves a lower score than almost everyone has given it.

But, I guess word has gotten around. My store alone now has almost twenty used copies sitting in our drawers, and nearly the same number of reserves that have not been picked up yet. Plus, every time someone brings FF XIII back, they often say they didn't like what Square had done, which is give them a linear game and a poor story with nothing but nice graphics to pad it out.

And, I agree.
aannnd you suck u work at game stop.....which sucks. I am a videogame designer and am here to say people gave the game high reviews becus its a good game. So shutup and go sell what i make.
 

Trogdor1138

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May 28, 2010
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Justin Blade said:
AgentBJ09 said:
nicodeemus327 said:
At least you're honest with yourself. That was rather unprofessional. Then again most of us don't watch your videos for an actual review. It's just fun to listen to a fast talking person with a English accent that swears a lot.
Would you consider Destructoid's review unprofessional? They hated the game for one very big reason, among others: Good art not compensating for a poorly executed story and game.

Read it and see for yourself: http://www.destructoid.com/review-final-fantasy-xiii-167136.phtml

From Destructiod: "The game has plenty of promising ideas. The central theme of inescapable destiny, interspersed with hints of racial prejudice and propaganda, could have been something excellent. However, not enough time is devoted to the exploration of these themes. Instead, most of the game is given over to having the characters whine about how hopeless their situation is every thirty minutes. That's when the game isn't introducing epic FMV cutscenes that contain no narrative value whatsoever, just because Square Enix's art department felt like publicly masturbating."

Agreed. I saw nothing but that sort of thing in the months leading up to the game's release, and once the game came out and someone convinced my to rent it from work, which is Gamestop by the way, I knew Square Enix had done something wrong. Afterward, I kept wondering why this game was given such high reviews, and I think it's because people know it's bad, but just can't bring themselves to admit that this game deserves a lower score than almost everyone has given it.

But, I guess word has gotten around. My store alone now has almost twenty used copies sitting in our drawers, and nearly the same number of reserves that have not been picked up yet. Plus, every time someone brings FF XIII back, they often say they didn't like what Square had done, which is give them a linear game and a poor story with nothing but nice graphics to pad it out.

And, I agree.
aannnd you suck u work at game stop.....which sucks. I am a videogame designer and am here to say people gave the game high reviews becus its a good game. So shutup and go sell what i make.
Wow, well thought out response there... I'm sure your games have brilliant writing too.

The guy gave a well thought out long response and there are genuine complaints about the game whether people agree or not. I personally really like the game and am playing through it at the moment, but I have several problems with it.
 

Splitfire3

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Dec 20, 2008
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crikey, wonder how much stuff this forum contains..? this comment just might make it to the 35th page..
this review is so awesome, it makes me laugh quite alot:D im bi lingual and does not speak english regurarly, so getting the most obscure references has been kinda tricky, even though i do understand about 99%. Guess humour sometimes need Full comprehension to make it to it's full extent, for somebody, but hell, i find yahtzee funny as fudge even so^^
 

crystalsnow

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Aug 25, 2009
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krgskks said:
Are you serious? Who the hell plays a game that isn't fun for 5 hours? I wouldn't play a game for more than one if it isn't fun or any good. And then people claim the first 20 hours are boring? What. The. Hell.
If a game is bad, then you don't need to fully play it, to say it's bad. Easy as that.
I wouldn't play for more than 30 minutes....
 

SacredMesa

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Nov 10, 2010
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D34dM4n said:
why does box for Final Fantasy III show up when he talks about Final Fantasy VI?


Because Final Fantasy VI in Japan was released as Final Fantasy III pretty much everywhere else in the world. Honestly I would like to see a review of FFVI he bashes every JRPG he comes across, with good reason, but it would be nice to see what in his mind makes for a good RPG, in a bit more detail than what he said in this review.
 

Tevana

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Mar 28, 2010
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I usually have one or two characters in a Final Fantasy game that I like or relate to somewhat except in this game. The only character that I like "slightly" was the afro character which weirded me out because he's the type of character I laugh at and think of them as a iddiot.
 

samaugsch

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Oct 13, 2010
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Zeni Geba said:
F?? you for this review yahtzee, if you?re a RPG hater then ?STOP PLAYING? BI?.CH. Final Fantasy XIII was a very good game .your review was like leasing to an idiot talk ?trying to imitate Simon Cowell? just some wannabe game critic stick to what you do best review first-person shooting games ?where the plot is always terrorist attached .go kill them ? SHIT.And if you think you are good Enough to critic other people work try making a game as good as Final Fantasy XIII ? the 3d that you call flashy and if you look at from the side its 2d that alone shows what an ignorant small minded and un educated BI?.CH?
It's alright. You can swear on the insulator. Your mom isn't going to be reading this. I know because she's too busy being fucked by Yahtzee. (and don't tell me I need to "give credit" because I would think most people who read this would know where the joke came from)
 

samaugsch

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Oct 13, 2010
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Inriri said:
PhiMed said:
Wow. 1000+ comments. Who knew that FF fanboys are even whinier than Nintendo SSBB fans?
There is no such thing as a good fanboy
Sure there is. The ones that don't have a cow when others talk crap about their beloved series are an example.
 

guntotingtomcat

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Jun 29, 2010
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Zeni Geba said:
F?? you for this review yahtzee, if you?re a RPG hater then ?STOP PLAYING? BI?.CH. Final Fantasy XIII was a very good game .your review was like leasing to an idiot talk ?trying to imitate Simon Cowell? just some wannabe game critic stick to what you do best review first-person shooting games ?where the plot is always terrorist attached .go kill them ? SHIT.And if you think you are good Enough to critic other people work try making a game as good as Final Fantasy XIII ? the 3d that you call flashy and if you look at from the side its 2d that alone shows what an ignorant small minded and un educated BI?.CH?
You do know what an objective opinion is, right? You know, freedom of thought? The right to make up your own mind? All that liberty stuff millions have died for?
Your opinion is valid. So is his. Neither of you are right or wrong. Stop wasting space with nonsense and if you are displeased, use a valid argument.

B...tch.
 

iamthelizardqueen88

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Dec 10, 2010
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samaugsch said:
Inriri said:
PhiMed said:
Wow. 1000+ comments. Who knew that FF fanboys are even whinier than Nintendo SSBB fans?
There is no such thing as a good fanboy
Sure there is. The ones that don't have a cow when others talk crap about their beloved series are an example.

Yahtzee wasnt really talking crap though everything he said was true personally i think he went really easy on this forsaken piece of crap Square Enix tried to call a game and mind you im saying this as a hardcore Final Fantasy fan of 1-10..oh hell ill even say X-2 wasnt that bad but 13 is a abomination (11 and 12 were just shit)