Zero Punctuation: Godzilla - God-Awful-Zilla

[Varrdy]

Going by the reviews I've seen / read, it seems that they were actually trying to make a worse game than R**e to H*ll: R*tributi*n.

Sounds like they came pretty close...

 

[Saika Renegade]

That was, far and away, the best dick analogy I've ever seen Yahtzee make.

As for the game? Well, sad to say, but there are games from two generations ago that did it better than this with more fun and less frustration.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I didn't even know there was a Godzilla game on the PS4 until now.

 

[Zak757]

That dick joke at the end was absolutely masterful.

 

[hittite]

Makes me want to find a Rampage arcade cabinet and waste some quarters.
Scratch that, 240 quarters in an arcade sounds like a wise investment compared to $60 on this game.

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

There was only one nation being a jerk during the nuking of Japan, and it certainly wasn't Japan.

Yes because doing something so shocking that killed hundreds of thousands rather than millions to get Japan to surrender, at the same time also shortening the war significantly, is being a jerk. Not like how it was perfectly nice that the Japanese were basically comitting a wave of terror in China and the south pacific, while working prisoners of war to death, because they could. Also it's a perfectly nice to arm your planes with explosives and incendiaries, instead of weapons, and training the pilots to commit suicide as a form of attack. Also perfectly nice to develop human guided torpedoes that required suicide pilots, while developing other means of killing your own people. Also telling your citizenry that it's safer to commit suicide, instead of surrendering, if the enemy made landing on your shores. It's not being a jerk at all doing exactly what you say the enemy will do to your people if they invade using propaganda, when the enemy has a record of not doing anything like that, but you do. Right, sure, America was being the jerk.

OT: The vast majority of Godzilla games are absolutely god awful, with a handful of tournament fighter type Godzilla games actually being good. This game was shown as not being a tournament fighter, is it any surprise it came out deformed, mentally handicapped, and abuses it's subject matter? Not really, no...

 

[Stabby Joe]

I don't know, this game isn't as fun to hate. Since it's not actually broken or unintentionally hilarious kind of bad like Ride to Hell or Big Rigs and appears to have some fans, all the new videos popping up in the vein of "OMG THIS GAME SUCKS!" don't seem as necessary or as fun this time. If it wasn't a full priced release few would care.

I wonder if anyone will even remember it in the future?

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

"Godzilla moves like his parents are having sex and he's trying to sneak past the bedroom door."

I laughed so hard at that I fell out of my chair!

Sad though that this is what has become of the "king of monsters"

 

[Stupidity]

Also I don't believe the bombings of Japan were "criminal" at all, they never would've stopped coming if we hadn't bombed them, yes it sucks that people died because of it, but we couldn't just sit around and wait for Japan to slowly kill themselves by going after us.

Yes, you could of.
It's what your doing in with the war in the middle East right now.
Back then you decided morality didn't force you to commit slow mutual suicide though.

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

Also I don't believe the bombings of Japan were "criminal" at all, they never would've stopped coming if we hadn't bombed them, yes it sucks that people died because of it, but we couldn't just sit around and wait for Japan to slowly kill themselves by going after us.

Yes, you could of.
It's what your doing in with the war in the middle East right now.

Did you just suggest that the United States should start using atomic bombs on the middle east?

 

[CaitSeith]

There was only one nation being a jerk during the nuking of Japan, and it certainly wasn't Japan.

Clearly not a history buff.

OT:

I almost bought this game yesterday when I found out it came out.

Fortunately, one of my friends already bought it and warded me off.

Now I'm probably going to use that 64 dollars to buy a really pretty promo magic card...

Or you could buy Just Dance 2015. I'm sure that dancing "The Fox" and "Gangnam Style" is far more entertaining than this...

 

[CaitSeith]

There was only one nation being a jerk during the nuking of Japan, and it certainly wasn't Japan.

Sorry, but when a nation starts spreading propaganda to the average Joe that your untrained, unarmed ass kamikaze attacking those armed foreigners invading is a great idea (if the goal is to get both killed...) to the point that two nuclear weapons somehow wind up being the way to get less casualties on both sides, there's at least one other jerk in this scenario (hint, it's Japan)

Captcha: have fun
I don't think this is the appropriate time for levity, Captcha

They started it!

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Speaking of the PS2, there actually was a bunch of Godzilla games on it (such as Godzilla Unleashed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTOTSqBLhh4 ), which were a lot better than this game because you could actually move faster than a glacier.

 

[cojo965]

This Godzilla game is a bloody tragedy.

All they had to do was copy the game play from the old PS2/Xbox/GameCube Godzilla games from about 12 years back with new shiny graphics. That's all it would have taken to make a game I'd be proud to have in my collection. But instead, they make a pile of crap with awkward controls and pointless game play that drags on. It's very disappointing.

How about something else added to that, a scaled up/down (giant monsters you know, not sure if you scale up for more complex destruction, or down for miniature destruction) Red Faction destruction engine.

 

[Objectable]

I actually really like the controls. Godzilla's turning feels like how a giant mosnter would turn.

 

[Smygskytt]

It's not being a jerk at all doing exactly what you say the enemy will do to your people if they invade using propaganda, when the enemy has a record of not doing anything like that, but you do. Right, sure, America was being the jerk.

It was a while since I read up on the subject, (my last assignment for junior high to be precise) but I recall the main reason behind the bombings were either:

To create a possibility for the Emperor to surrender with grace because of the owerwhelming superiority of allied weapons. Japan at that stage was not just beaten, but bled white and the Japanese knew it. It was just that the honor of the Japanese did not allow surrender. Even this explanation acknowledges that the bombings were militarily utterly pointless.

The other theory was that the Americans wanted to send a message to the comintern. (Do not mess with "MURICA", damn Ruskies) Right at the onset of the cold war.

 

[proghead]

Hmm, that ended with a strangely irritating image in my head.

But yeah, it's shit. When everything just clips through everything with no sense of connection, you can tell no one could give a toss...

 

[Xan Krieger]

Ahahah, that's an amazing dick analogy Yahtzee! This was great as usual. Now what do we have...

An entire page of American insecurity over their homeland's war crimes coming from one brief mentioning in a joke

This thread is going places.

It's not insecurity, it's just that when someone makes accusations of war crimes they need to be answered and shown how while there were war crimes committed the atomic bombings were not war crimes.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Now I really want DLC for this game where you play as a giant kitten, I'd love to play that.

 

[Xan Krieger]

the atomic bombings were not war crimes.

Both cities were civilian targets. There is absolutely no way to fit the bombardments into Hague Conventions or any other treaty regulating conduction of warfare. It was a deliberate breaking of all the conventions of civilian immunity.
It can be argued that the bombings were morally justified in the scope of war, which does not however make them legally acceptable actions.

It's not insecurity

Somebody: >Imperialism in Africa and India
British person: Yeah, overall that was a big pile of bad stuff. So?

Somebody: >Holocaust
German person: Sure, our grandfathers were acting out of line there.

Somebody: >Cultural revolution
Chinese person: Yes, that's one big can of worms. And?

Somebody: >Katyn, GULAG
Russian person: Da, that was a bunch of really fucked up shit. Whatever.

Somebody: >Nuclear bombings
American person: How dare you! Explain your accusations at once! Truman did nothing wrong!

It's not insecurity

The difference is that in those other cases the accusations are legitimate, they were done and they were clearly wrong. If the bombings of other major cities was fine then of course the nukings are fine.