Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto 5

[DataSnake]

The talk of SR4 being "intentionally" glitchy made me do a double take. So my game was meant to crash every time I tried to superjump forcing me to restart my system, load everything up again, intentionally die and then hope beyond hope that it stayed fixed for a while and didn't shit the bed again? Good to know, I just thought it was a poorly programmed mess because it was an expansion pack that got bumped up to a full release.

No, the intentional glitches are all purely visual, things like textures scrolling on walls, NPCs walking upside down, objects randomly pixelating for a couple seconds at a time, and so on. Your issue sounds more like the kind of thing where you should contact Volition's customer support team.

 

[4Aces]

There are apparently many collision detection errors as well. I guess they forgot how to make collision cages/meshes. Those things can crash out your game, or have cars stuck in trees, etc. So it is not just graphical. Gotta love Alpha level errors making it past Platinum.

 

[webby]

The talk of SR4 being "intentionally" glitchy made me do a double take. So my game was meant to crash every time I tried to superjump forcing me to restart my system, load everything up again, intentionally die and then hope beyond hope that it stayed fixed for a while and didn't shit the bed again? Good to know, I just thought it was a poorly programmed mess because it was an expansion pack that got bumped up to a full release.

No, the intentional glitches are all purely visual, things like textures scrolling on walls, NPCs walking upside down, objects randomly pixelating for a couple seconds at a time, and so on. Your issue sounds more like the kind of thing where you should contact Volition's customer support team.

Yeah, I'm aware it's not an intentional glitch, I was being needlessly sarcastic because the game is legitimately an unintentional glitchy mess as well as the intentional stuff. The jump crash is just one of many pretty serious glitches I've had, others include people vanishing off the map making finishing missions impossible, getting stuck in a falling animation whilst on the ground so I slide into the ocean and plummet into the void of eternity, random crashes that corrupted a save (always have backups) and a few others that were more irritants and caused a few side mission failures.

My point is that it's dumb as hell to say that "the glitches are intentional" when the game is pretty well known to have other, unintentional, glitches.

Since the term "kinda meh" has been thrown around a lot I feel it sums up my opinion of this episode pretty well though. I've finished GTA5 so was hoping to hear some stuff that I hadn't noticed myself before. I didn't get that, I got bitching about advertising half a world away for about a minute instead.

 

[Juste Goose]

The scream at the end is creepypasta material...

ZERO PUNCTUATION LOST EPISODE.

I WENT TO AN ALL NIGHT GARAGE SALE DURING A FULL MOON THAT WAS HELD OUT OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL. THERE WAS THIS OLD MAN WITH FANGS SELLING VHS TAPES. I BOUGHT ONE THAT JUST SAID "ZP LE" ON IT. I TOOK HOME AND PLAY IT. IT WAS HIM SCREAMING AND THE EYES WERE LIKE TOTALLY REALISTIC AND THEY BLED NOW I'M DEAD THE END.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

I'm not offended and these are some good points, but...

...something tells me I should have used "gritty" as an adjective, rather than "realistic". What I think the use of so-called realism implies is that the industry has a weird sort of set of aspirations concerning how action is meant to be presented. Ever since Call of Duty the first in name, we've been trying to integrate disparate elements from the "reality" of open conflicts and, well, life in general if you go by other genres. Stuff like grainy camera filters when a camcorder is being used (e.g. Outlast) or fairly grody patching-up animations that aren't exactly realistic, but probably inspired by last-ditch medical treatments (e.g. FarCry 2 and 3) or, you know, effects that replicate dizziness and disorientation when you're stuck in a flashbang's radius.

The end result isn't exactly realistic, but there's definitive aspirations toward realism. The need for the game to be an actual piece of entertainment, along with the limitations of the tech we currently have on hand, are putting pretty effective barriers in front of actual realism.

ZERO PUNCTUATION LOST EPISODE.

I WENT TO AN ALL NIGHT GARAGE SALE DURING A FULL MOON THAT WAS HELD OUT OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL. THERE WAS THIS OLD MAN WITH FANGS SELLING VHS TAPES. I BOUGHT ONE THAT JUST SAID "ZP LE" ON IT. I TOOK HOME AND PLAY IT. IT WAS HIM SCREAMING AND THE EYES WERE LIKE TOTALLY REALISTIC AND THEY BLED NOW I'M DEAD THE END.

And now, to copy and paste this on a berjillion YouTube videos in the Comments section, with the requisite addendum about the ALT+F4 key combination being the only thing that will save you from receiving that dreaded VHS in the mail in seven days' time, because Ring reference.

 

[heroicbob]

I personally don't like people comparing GTA and SR anymore. Yeah at one point they were quite similar, but they've gone down two distinct paths that Yahtzee himself understands: parody/satire vs. reference. SR cranked up the wacky and geek meta-gaming to try and be as fun as possible, but completely forgot how to make a game challenging. GTA keeps the game challenging and makes you getting away with your crimes a lofty goal, and sends a message by basically satirizing the era and location the game's in every time... which isn't nearly as mindlessly fun.

I think people don't have to like both series, in fact I think the two are polarizing enough now that it would be hard to like both without being new enough to games to create some personal biases. Currently I like GTA more but that could change in later games. It's hard not to assume Rockstar is just trying harder, but that's also because they have a mountain of cash to spend on the GTA series. I don't blame anyone for liking one more than the other, including Yahtzee... but I'm playing the one I enjoy more personally.

i would disagree that this games challenging you can pretty much win every firefight by just tapping the aim button and letting the auto aim home in on every enemy also Franklins slow motion driving power makes things pretty easy too

 

[MB202]

Oh gosh, I laughed out loud with the sumo wrestler running gag! XD

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

1. I do love the SR series but I'll be the first to point out the glaring paradigm shift between SR2 and 3&4. Beginning with 3 it almost felt like playing with cheat codes on, and 4 is in no way better. In fact is a worse offender in that. And the humor is low-brow enough to the point where its not even funny anymore. It can be fun at times but only in that I can create my own fun with it, the actual game itself is so way out beyond "meh" I don't have words for it.
2. In comparison, as a more solid story GTA V is a winner. I actually feel something towards the characters, even if I don't always like them. I'm of the mind that there's no game with a perfect plot, and GTA does fall short of that mark, but not as bad as the SR series which abandoned any semblance of plot in favor of B-rate Tromafilm tripe. Which yes, I do like but not all the time.
3. Yahtzee seems to be phoning it in these days, I've rarely watched ZP because of that. I almost didn't watch this one, and really it feels almost like I didn't anyway... Rinse and repeat. Maybe Yahtzee should take a month or two off.

 

[gjkbgt]

Escaped take note:
This is how you give "bad" review properly.
The reason that the 3.5/5 score went down so badly was. You said that you didn't like the game because, you thought the characters were "Bad people"
And found the city filled with unlikable, shallow picks.
Forgetting that's the point of GTA showing us horrible people everywhere. Then letting us blow them up.

Badly written and inconstant. They try to do this but it fails because this.

There! I know why you dislike it, and can decide if it's a deal breaker for me or not.
Now you wouldn't fuck it up again.

 

[leviadragon99]

Oh hey, Yahtzee is hanging about my neck of the woods, nifty.

 

[baconmaster]

GTAV is easily my favorite entry of the series, but I agree with a lot of the points made here. Basically the same story as every other time he reviewed a game I liked (except for the Last of Us, but I think he reviewed that after reading a plot summary on wikipedia and watching a couple of gameplay videos.)

People will probably rage anyway. GTA is a series that gets stupidly high praise even when it's clunky and boring

I love how the people pre defending ZP are talking about "fanboy rage."

Yes, clunky and boring. Everyone buying and enjoying the game is wrong, your analysis of the game is quite original.

If you don't like the games, that's fine. This whole idea that you have to tear something down because you don't enjoy it is pathetic. If you want to rip on a game, at least use an original thought or provide some level of entertainment, otherwise you just seem like another kid latching onto a person like Yahtzee because they can't form their own opinion about anything.

I'm loving GTA5, actually. As I said, it's my favorite of the series. I'm even finding myself taking part in the silly minigames I used to hate in the series

I was referring to 4. It's the highest rated game of the generation, yet the vast majority of people I've spoken to about it have barely anything good to say about it. I'm inclined to agree with them. It had awful controls, an annoying social aspect, and was repetitive as hell.

Also, I'm not allowed to complain about bad controls if someone else already did it? Nice

 

[Evil Smurf]

All the characters are twats, I'll watch a lets play, but not buy it.

One of the GTAV missions has you mopping the floor. As I started down the third hallway, looking for smudges, I felt the sudden urge to go play SR4. At least SR4 had pancakes.

I've finished Saints Row 4 and could not find any pancakes!

 

[Madmanonfire]

No, you didn't read it, or you are purposefully lying to defend your precious escapist (see how easy that is?) and if they were complaining about the score, why? It wasn't a bad score.
If it was about the score, why were most of the "whiners" quoting the written review?

Bottom line, Tito spent the entire review complaining about the story and stating things that were demonstrably false (like the live invader section) and then ended it by giving it a good score, as if he's completely missing the point of doing the review.

It was unprofessional.

The Escapist staff and people like you rely on the "they just whining cus of score" strawman because you have nothing real to use to defend the review or address the actual complaints.

Umm... you're wrong.
The score was what brought all of the complainers to the thread because it was the lowest score on metacritic at the time, IIRC.
The parts of the review you're complaining about make up around half of the review, not the entire thing. You're exaggerating for the sake of trying to make your point seem correct.
The review was fair. Greg gave his opinion on what he liked and didn't like. He gave it a good score because it was a generally favorable review, with the only things he didn't actually like being the story and characters.
People are calling it fanboy rage here because there was some actual fanboy rage in the comments. If you looked at the thread, you would've seen multiple examples.

We have plenty of reasons to defend the review, while you have few to insult it.

 

[sageoftruth]

Finally. After hearing nothing but incessant glowing praise for a game no one had even tried yet at the time, I finally get to see Yahtzee tear it a new one. Thanks Yahtzee, you made my night. Really, I don't mind that it's popular. It's just that everyone's going "This'll be the best game ever made!!" and I'm thinking, "Why?" What makes this more promising than any other game that's coming out this month?

 

[BarrelsOfDouche]

Incoming vitriol in 3...

2...

1...

Oh, wait. It's already here.

 

[webby]

Finally. After hearing nothing but incessant glowing praise for a game no one had even tried yet at the time, I finally get to see Yahtzee tear it a new one. Thanks Yahtzee, you made my night. Really, I don't mind that it's popular. It's just that everyone's going "This'll be the best game ever made!!" and I'm thinking, "Why?" What makes this more promising than any other game that's coming out this month?

Because the game had a huge budget, talented people in charge, a solid track record, time to refine the game to their satisfaction etc. I'm not saying it IS the best game ever made but the reason it gets more hype and expectation than any games released around it is because it has all the components required to be a high water mark kinda game.

I could argue the point that it somewhat achieves setting a new benchmark because Los Santos in and of itself is a technical marvel that seem to have required a bit of a juggling act in order to cram it onto this console generation, but that's kind of subjective and I'm sure people will probably hate LS for the same reasons that I enjoy it.

Also, it never ceases to strike me as odd when people seem to hope that something they have yet to try (or have no intention of trying) is bad. It's an unusually obnoxious attitude to take when you think about it.

 

[RicoADF]

Hmm okay, he didn't like it that much I guess.

One thing I don't understand though, why is Saints Row considered 'fun' and the later GTA aren't? Because you can run around with a dildo and other wacky stuff? That's wacky. Not necessarily fun. I didn't play GTAV of course (having only a PC and stuff), but I definitely had tons more fun with GTA IV then SR2+3 combined and if GTA had the same stupid wacky humor everywhere, I'd like it less.

GTAV is best described as GTAIV engine with San Andreas gameplay. I love the game, just as I love Saints Row IV, I play the game I'm in the mood for at the time. But like every game it's not perfect, there are some things people don't like. I haven't had any issues so for me it's perfect, but I'm not going to claim that those that disagree are wrong, it's personal preference.

 

[civver]

Well that was disappointing. Plenty of significant problems with the game and he didn't even touch on them, like psychic cops and properties being worthless (in terms of money and constantly texting with annoying missions).

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

One of the GTAV missions has you mopping the floor.

At first I thought "Wow, the combat must be easy if you're mopping the floor with your opposition", but then I realized that you meant actually mopping a floor. And I thought "Wait, we already have a game for that [http://www.runestorm.com/viscera]."

 

[daxterx2005]

The reason its 5 is because its the fifth engine....right?