Zero Punctuation: Guild Wars 2

[iblis666]

Clearly you've forgotten the order of how to address boredom:

1) Wank

2) Learn how to read

3) Commune with the netherworld

4) Wank some more

I'm surprised more peasants don't make it past #1.

peasants and to be more precise farmers to me seem to be the the most likely to commune with dark powers, after all what else do you have to think about when you are slaughtering sheep or pulling weeds.

 

[00slash00]

Still have yet to buy it. Was pretty hyped then I sort of lost all interest. Also, I heard there is no real end game and that's kind of a deal breaker with me. But of course this is all by word of mouth and I'm not too sure so maybe someday i'll try it out.

Good video, as always.

this is also by word of mouth so take it with a grain of salt, but people on youtube (namely jesse cox and wowcrendor) have been playing it a lot and said that the journey to endgame was a bit of a letdown, with some of the final bosses not being that interesting. but once you reach endgame it gets much more interesting. also the meat of the game is the pvp, which is supposedly done better here than in any other game

 

[Furrama]

I was digging the personal story up until the "Vigil/Order/Priory bit" ended...

Actually I that was one other thing I didn't like abut the personal story. I found an issue with each faction that made me have to chose the lesser of three evils. Playing a thief, you'd think my natural place would be with the Order, but I didn't like how they were so hands-off and willing to let innocent people die while using that cockamamie "The Greater Good" argument some people use to justify doing what they know is wrong (or not doing what they know is right). Also, putting the dragons back to sleep? Really, that's the best the could come up with?

The Priory would've seemed like my second choice, but again, they seemed to have their noses buried in books too much to really do anything productive about the problem staring them in the face. I don't care about raiding tombs (unless there's a big titted woman with a sexy accent coming with me) when there's armies of the undead massing.

So that left me with the Vigil. As brick-dense and stupid as I think running straight at a giant dragon and his army of walking corpses is, at least it's something proactive and attempting to give people in harm's way some kind of protection. There's a time for research and a time to kick ass. And while the greater good does need to be kept in mind, if you spend all your time looking for the source of the water and don't plug any leaks, you'll be flooded up to your ass by the time you find it.

If you go through each order you generally find they're not exactly what they appear on the surface, or even how the other orders describe them. The Vigil aren't stupid. The Priory aren't that smart, and they can be quite caring of others. The Order of Whispers isn't a bunch of backstabbing do nothing shadow dwellers. They want to take the path that will lead to the least bloodshed.

Also at this point in the story no one is sure that they can kill the dragons. They're more forces of nature, and the only way the order figures they can be stopped is trying to put the "forces of nature" back to sleep.

 

[Furrama]

Still have yet to buy it. Was pretty hyped then I sort of lost all interest. Also, I heard there is no real end game and that's kind of a deal breaker with me. But of course this is all by word of mouth and I'm not too sure so maybe someday i'll try it out.

Good video, as always.

this is also by word of mouth so take it with a grain of salt, but people on youtube (namely jesse cox and wowcrendor) have been playing it a lot and said that the journey to endgame was a bit of a letdown, with some of the final bosses not being that interesting. but once you reach endgame it gets much more interesting. also the meat of the game is the pvp, which is supposedly done better here than in any other game

End game is fine, and the journey isn't all that bad either. Best I've seen in an MMO, but not too good for a single player game if that makes any sense. There are no proper raids if that's what constitutes and end game for you. Besides sPVP and WvW, which are good, there are also hard mode explorable dungeons. You can fight the big world bosses when they spawn with tons of people. Do whatever you want really.

 

[00slash00]

Oh Yahtzee, you poor man. You never got out of the "getting to know your character" bit of the personal story to actually get into the meat of the game. Skill points are more valuable than just "I want only these skills, there I have them" (30 sp cost for 2nd tier elites is a *****).

It was a funny review, but I'd have liked a more informed opinion of it. Maybe one from someone who made it past level 25. =/

i feel your pain. the first witcher game was one of my favorite rpgs when i was in college. he played it for like 2 hours before deciding that the game sucks and quit

 

[Rack]

I feel like Yatzee didn't play the game past the 30's. Because, in the early zones it is kind of weak and the threats aren't there so much, but in the later zones they're all over the place. In the 50-60 zones, for example, the corruption from the Elder Dragons is everywhere, and the minions are vicious. So, it's gradual progression.


Also, even at the end of the 1-15 zones there is a giant boss monster to fight. For Yatzee, this should have been a demon from the underworld summoned through a portal in the swamp. So, why didn't he mention that fight? It's epic and makes you feel like a hero.

Err, no there isn't. I'm not sure where you dreamed this but I've 100% all 5 starter zones and never saw that. Are you thinking of the giant monster at the end of the level 1 zone? Even so I suspect he played for 5 or so hours and didn't check his mail and thus never did his personal story missions so there's little chance he'd have bumped into that.

 

[Rad Party God]

I think that Yhatzee's review on this game was aimed towards "non mumorpegers". And I suspect he didn't even reached max level before quitting.

Personally, I've been sold to this game since the earliest announcements in 2007 (and I'm still a huge fan of the first game), I'm kinda busy with The Secret World right now (seriously awesome game), but that with no sub fees and being an overall great game, I'll have to save up a bit to get this game ASAP.

 

[RedFeather1975]

I feel like Yatzee didn't play the game past the 30's. Because, in the early zones it is kind of weak and the threats aren't there so much, but in the later zones they're all over the place. In the 50-60 zones, for example, the corruption from the Elder Dragons is everywhere, and the minions are vicious. So, it's gradual progression.


Also, even at the end of the 1-15 zones there is a giant boss monster to fight. For Yatzee, this should have been a demon from the underworld summoned through a portal in the swamp. So, why didn't he mention that fight? It's epic and makes you feel like a hero.

Err, no there isn't. I'm not sure where you dreamed this but I've 100% all 5 starter zones and never saw that. Are you thinking of the giant monster at the end of the level 1 zone? Even so I suspect he played for 5 or so hours and didn't check his mail and thus never did his personal story missions so there's little chance he'd have bumped into that.

Deathfish is talking about Shadow Behemoth. It's the meta boss in level 1-15 human starter zone. It is entirely possible to never know about it, since it doesn't appear often. Here's a video of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwf-zUHWafs
Meta chain-event bosses require somethings to happen before they appear, but I'm not sure if people have figured out exactly what for each area.

 

[theultimateend]

Very circus themed this week. Did he meet a clown at the expo?

You can actually choose that circucs thing as a backstory, when you're making a character.

Wait.........seriously?

Given your avatar I know what you are about to go do ;D

 

[Deathfish15]

I feel like Yatzee didn't play the game past the 30's. Because, in the early zones it is kind of weak and the threats aren't there so much, but in the later zones they're all over the place. In the 50-60 zones, for example, the corruption from the Elder Dragons is everywhere, and the minions are vicious. So, it's gradual progression.


Also, even at the end of the 1-15 zones there is a giant boss monster to fight. For Yatzee, this should have been a demon from the underworld summoned through a portal in the swamp. So, why didn't he mention that fight? It's epic and makes you feel like a hero.

Err, no there isn't. I'm not sure where you dreamed this but I've 100% all 5 starter zones and never saw that. Are you thinking of the giant monster at the end of the level 1 zone? Even so I suspect he played for 5 or so hours and didn't check his mail and thus never did his personal story missions so there's little chance he'd have bumped into that.

Yes, there is. It's called the Shadow Behemoth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFKFqzRhXKs

There's also one in the Sylvari starting zone, it's a giant worm. The Asura starting zone has the Fire Elemental. The Norn has the ice shaman dude. The Charr have the fire Shaman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIvCORxKXoA


So ya, each one of those starting zones have a giant monster. Those aren't the only zones with bosses, most all zones have meta-events that have bosses, some having 2-3 bosses.

 

[RedFeather1975]

omg, Deathfish15... that Fire Elemental is beyond cruel. I saw it once and all I saw was dead characters all over the place. And soon I joined them. XD

 

[Soods]

Very circus themed this week. Did he meet a clown at the expo?

You can actually choose that circucs thing as a backstory, when you're making a character.

Wait.........seriously?

http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Biography#Human
The "Missed Opportunity" in the 2nd slot. I was baffled too when I made a human

 

[GrandmaFunk]

so basically you want a lot of story but you don't want to get it through:

-in game text
-novels
-outside info (wiki, previous games in the series)

you didn't comment on NPC chatter, but I'm guessing you're not too keen on that either.

That pretty much just leaves cut scenes, right? is that what you want, hours and hours of cut scenes?

 

[ThatDarnCoyote]

Strange that they're releasing an MMO that's a sequel to another MMO; you don't generally see that.

Yeah, EverQuest did that as well, but it seems like the industry has decided that's not the way to go.

Also, please tell me I'm not the only one that got a Guild Wars 2 ad before the video.

It would make me sad if I was the only one to enjoy the juxtaposition.

 

[duchaked]

lol that's actually a pretty funny start up story being a small town kid who becomes a necromancer yep that's typical

 

[GenGenners]

Very circus themed this week. Did he meet a clown at the expo?

You can actually choose that circucs thing as a backstory, when you're making a character.

Wait.........seriously?

Given your avatar I know what you are about to go do ;D

Kefka is more than a mere clown!

 

[Aardvaarkman]

At last! The Escapist Expo is no longer on in September!

 

[Furrama]

so basically you want a lot of story but you don't want to get it through:

-in game text
-novels
-outside info (wiki, previous games in the series)

you didn't comment on NPC chatter, but I'm guessing you're not too keen on that either.

That pretty much just leaves cut scenes, right? is that what you want, hours and hours of cut scenes?

Noooooo!! What? Cut scenes? Really? I'm talking about in game integration of a story rather then element's that take you out and you jump to cut scenes? You know, unfolding the story through the game play rather then breaking it up and making them separate entities. How are cut scenes any better? You can have a story come out through the actual game play you know. It has been done. A lot. Hell even the Elder Scrolls games which had mountains of text didn't require you to stop and read every book to get an understanding for the story. Elements that brings the game play to a halt, sits you down, and dumps piecemeal exposition on your head as a means to further story in an interactive medium is wrong.

It's about flow, accessibility, and integration into game play. If someone genuinely interested in story, said there's none to be found then the developers messed up on that one. I'm sure that all these elements could have been used well. Except for outside info story should at the very least be somewhat part of the game - I actually can't believe you think that's in any way acceptable. Novels too shouldn't be a primary means of story and only supplemental at best. In game text is a tad antiquated too but proper presentation can kind of make it work in an rpg setting, although it's never ideal either.

I have no problem's with npc's which is why I never mentioned them although it does come back to accessibility. Which npc's hold the key bits of story versus how likely you are to hear those bits from them. How cohesive to the whole each story fragment is so the main story doesn't get lost among the information relevant to that second and the quest at hand. These are done horribly in MMO's because the shear amount of exposition most of which is obviously irrelevant (do I really care about farmer X's irrigation issue's? I have dragons to slay!) makes it easy to tune out and miss the small pieces that are. This is also a failing of presentation going back to text boxes earlier as they are usually visually ugly things that grow more so the more you make the effort to read them and find out they told you nothing of interest or relevance to your story.

A lot of interesting story bits are there, you just have to dig for them. Hidden areas, little NPC conversations you might catch, in game books, funny and sad gravestone markers. I think they were attempting to make it so that if you didn't care about the story it wouldn't really bother you too much if you didn't want it to. If you poke around and look in cracks and read everything there is a lot of information in game. But if you aren't looking you'll miss it, and it's all very easy to miss.

Not sure if I like that approach, but I can kinda understand what they were going for.

 

[AdamG3691]

Very circus themed this week. Did he meet a clown at the expo?

that is actually a real part of the human storyline

time for your mind to be blown even more: you can actually play as a combat stage magician who bounces around summoning illusions, flashy butterflies, uses swords and pistol for romantic literature duelling, and flays the minds of the innocent with magic that can rend the very fabric of spacetime.


kinda disappointed he picked the human storyline though, it's definitely the weakest of the five, you also have norn (giant guys who live in mountains, are part polar bear and can turn into werewolves/bears/leopards/ravens), asura (arrogant magitech gnomes who look like small version of ET, and have a habit of making things float and have the mentality of "if all else fails, strap it to a golem")
sylvari (welsh plant people who glow in the dark, have a hive mind and could actually be the servants of either the world itself, or an undiscovered elder dragon)
and charr (giant cat people who kill gods and deity-esque beings, make giant war machines, are surprisingly comedic for what is pretty much a giant army (meatoberfest and the cattlepult are great), and live in the death star)

each one has a unique storyline with so many branches it's not even funny:
5 races, each has three choices at the start, then another three for the second part of the opening zone story, then ANOTHER three for which guild/order you want to join, then three MORE for which of the less developed races you want to help, then two more for getting assistance in the final battle, and then a final three based on a choice you make earlier in the storyline.

so: 5*3*3*3*3*2*3 = 2430 unique combinations of storylines


also, I'm not sure how far yahtzee got in the game, but the elder dragons DO have a large part, the charr are fighting The Branded, servants of an elder dragon that destroyed half of their levelling zones, the norn fight The Icebrood, servants of another elder dragon, there are also The Destroyers, which serve the elser dragon that fored the asure out of their homes, there are hints that The Sylvari are servants of an elder dragon that have become corrupt and turned good, and The Risen, which appear in nearly all of the south and southwestern zones and the storyline is all about killing their creator, the elder dragon Zhaitan, from lv 20 onwards, hell the lv 70-80 zones take place in Orr, the original human country which is now zhaitan's seat of power, and the non-racial zones south of lion's arch (the non-racial capital) are all about preparing to fight them


as for the "only buy the skills you want" it really depends on what you're doing, but by the end, once you've got all of the skills, the points are still useful because you use them to buy items used in the mystic forge to get awesome items (also, the heal he was talking about is wrong, since he's a necro, he'll have been talking about consume conditions, which heals you based on the conditions YOU have, not your enemy, why would you want that? because you also have an ability to transfer conditions from your allies to you, and not only that, once you've got this concentration of nastiness on you, you can send it to an enemy, and then spread it to all the enemies nearby, also, lots of your abilities cause conditions on both the enemy and yourself, so eating the conditions is a good way of removing that problem... although why yahtzee would be using consume conditions is beyond me, since he's using the minionmaster build he should have been using the blood fiend ability, wheras consume conditions is for conditionmancers)

 

[AdamG3691]

Very circus themed this week. Did he meet a clown at the expo?

You can actually choose that circucs thing as a backstory, when you're making a character.

Wait.........seriously?

Given your avatar I know what you are about to go do ;D

Kefka is more than a mere clown!

it is entirely possible to make a mesmer or elementalist, dress them up in a set called Conjurer's x (where x is the piece of clothing, like conjurer's mantle), dye each piece infdividually to give them a jester style colour palette, and make choices in dialog trees that give your character the personality of kefka.

I know it's possible because I've done it on my mesmer
homicidally insane giant cat stage magicians FTW