Zero Punctuation: Halo 3

[John Funk]

Never before seen? Wasn't there a level builder in Timesplitters? And doesn't forge just let you change where various items spawn? Sure, it's a novelty putting a few tanks in High Ground, but the level design is solid enough that most tweaking done seems to be tweaking for tweaking's sake, rather than actual improvement. Sure, it's nice to see a hornet or tank show up in Multiplayer, but the maps really aren't big enough to support them, so what's the point?

My friends made a gametype called "Mongoose NASCAR"

It's one of the most chaotic and plain FUN experiences I've ever had in a videogame, especially a FPS.

Not only do you just change where weapons spawn on the map, you can do items and teleporters, etc. Like I know a guy who's working on a map... based on Valhalla, but removing all the easily accessible weaponry and using items/teleporters/gravlifts to make it a pseudo-platformer in order to get the powerful guns.

Which is just sort of damn cool.

 

[GeoRyu]

Yo, people want him to make a review on a game and so he makes a review on the game.

So what if he bashes it? You don't have to listen to him; after all there are about what? 20-40-60 other magazines that automatically face plants with 9.0-10.00 [Insert uber title here] ya'll can do read. And when you do, you'll notice a lot of them tend to read about the same.

No game is bloody perfect, different strokes for different folks. But if you want to compare VIA FPS; then pick up Halo 1 for the Xbox AND for the PC. Play them both in retrospec.

FPS on a console HAVE to be dumbed down because controllers are bad for FPS, period. If you play the same Halo game on the PC, you'll notice that legendary somehow feels like normal or even easy mode because the Keyboard allows you to have better control for the GENRE.

Now when I see a review for a game; I'm not going to read it for the plot but I am going to read it for the GAMEPLAY. Because, regardless of what GAME it IS; it's a damn GAME.

Xenosaga series is NOT A GAME tho it PRETENDS. To play Xenosaga, the controls are.... O. Yes, just the circle button because it's an interactive story. Oh yeah and since you barely level up in the bloody thing, it's more of a puzzle than an RPG fight but thats going off topic.

Halo is just another average FPS. Funky Weapons that does odd things, check. Vehicles, check. Dual wielding, check. Too much animation to easily tell what the crap most enemies are doing? Check. Hm, that pretty much covers it.

It's nothing really new, nothing different, it's the same damn game modded to play/look prettier. Just like Bioshock, it's a damn copy of System Shock 2 but it's prettier and easy because you can't even die. HELL, Half Life 2 had the Gravity Gun before the psychic powers which is the same thing. Just played from the hand rather than the gun.

Bioshock is great but the AI is retarded, sometimes I when I play it; it feels like playing Serious Sam. They just kinda mindlessly run at you and the ranged enemies do the same; they come out shoot and hide and it's the western frontier all over again.

I like Yahtzee because he's funny but he points out the flaws well and there are a few things I do not agree with him. And it's ok, because it's HIS opinion. "I think" "I don't care", anything that usually has anything to do with self thought is opinion. And this is what he finds about Halo.

End of story, if you guys want to flame then make sure to bring some burgers; we can have a BBQ. Want to cry?, I do have a pool I need to fill. Etc, etc, etc.

 

[kojirodensetsu]

While I agree the single player isn't fan-effing-tastic it's still fun to play with buddies. The real reason to get Halo 3 though is multiplayer. And so if you don't give 2-craps about multiplayer you won't give 2-craps about Halo 3. You saying saying you don't like Halo 3 because you don't give 2-craps about multiplayer is like me saying I don't like BioShock because I don't give 2-craps about plasmids. You're entitled to your opinion obviously. If you don't like multiplayer then you don't like it. I just found it a bit disheartening that you essentially shrugged off multiplayer in a sentence when multiplayer is the meat and potatoes of the game. Oh and if you played Halo 1 you'd know that the last boss was the warthog run at the end.

Anyways, I don't care that you don't like it. I just felt like posting that. I look forward to your future videos.

 

[Russ Pitts]

Before I even watched the video, I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF when I saw "Comments [96]" and it hadn't even been a full day yet. I figured a lot of ignorant newbie assholes would flood this topic and attack your credibility, and I was so right.

That's good for a banning. Especially if the same hostile sentiment is spread across multiple forum threads.

/mod.

 

[helping]

I wonder which is worse/ more amusing? The (rather telling which I find worst/ most amusing) imbeciles who would pick apart an opinion piece they find unfavourable and therefore "wrong", the people who try and argue against them or the people who sit on the fence and make irritating comments such as this one.

I've been enjoying Zero Punctuation and FullyRamblomatic for several moments in time, let's hope he continues to provide these opinion pieces.

 

[VMerken]

I replayed 3:14 to 3:33 five times in a row. LURVELY!

Like Yahtzee, I didn't play Halo, didn't play Halo 2 and won't play Halo 3 unless they pay me. The series, until now, looks like a decent concoction of "meh" and other games outclass it so well in the departments that matter. Or, to put it in milder terms because one has to be politically correct these days:

Samus says hi!

 

[Yahtzee Croshaw]

'Seems like this Yahtzee guy is one of those "it's cool to be contrarian" types.'

I love this fucking argument.

Now, I consider myself a reviewer. I do tend to use a lot of comedy and irony to make things interesting but ultimately I endeavour to give my honest opinion. Most of the time I avoid reading other people's reviews of a game and ignore most of the pre-existing hype so that I can review a game at face value based solely on my impressions of it. I only mentioned the other reviews of Halo 3 in this case because they're impossible to avoid. Let me put this down in writing so it can come back to haunt me later: I would never mark down a game out of a personal bias or desire to be 'different'. I like to think I have more integrity than that.

 

[Ajar]

I'm playing and enjoying the Halo 3 campaign in co-op mode, but I thought the review was pretty funny. It's hard to discuss Halo, though, because it seems as though everyone either thinks it's the greatest game ever or an overhyped pile of rubbish, and neither side will tolerate the slightest hint of disagreement. Those of us who think the game is average, pretty good, or somewhere in between those two wind up caught in the crossfire.

 

[CuddlyCombine]

Now, I consider myself a reviewer. I do tend to use a lot of comedy and irony to make things interesting but ultimately I endeavour to give my honest opinion. Most of the time I avoid reading other people's reviews of a game and ignore most of the pre-existing hype so that I can review a game at face value based solely on my impressions of it. I only mentioned the other reviews of Halo 3 in this case because they're impossible to avoid. Let me put this down in writing so it can come back to haunt me later: I would never mark down a game out of a personal bias or desire to be 'different'. I like to think I have more integrity than that.

Yet you allowed the Escapist to pressure you into reviewing Peggle. Do I smell a sellout?

All kidding aside, I disagree with everyone who is saying that Yahtzee is taking his negative standpoint just to be different. Firstly, as he stated in the review, he doesn't think Halo 3 is bad; he just thinks it's not that exciting, and I agree. After finishing the campaign in about seven hours with a friend, I was left feeling disappointed. The graphics are nice, sure, but is that really what they were working on for three years? I'd rather have some deeper exploration of the game mythos rather than leaving that for the books and movie.

Secondly, just watch his past reviews. He applies praise and criticism, usually equally, to games. He criticized Psychonauts, even though he liked it (at this point I feel like I'm writing a biography). So stop looking for responses by accusing him of being some sort of anti-mainstream attention whore. He's just not jumping on the bandwagon. After all the hype dies down, Halo 3 will not be remembered as God's gift to gaming.

P.S. Is it just me or did the Escapist hit issue #117 just around the time Halo 3 was released?

 

[Bertsura [deprecated]]

Good review.

 

[Evilducks]

'Seems like this Yahtzee guy is one of those "it's cool to be contrarian" types.'

I love this fucking argument.

Well, you disagreed with that persons point of view and therefor must only be doing it because you think you should disagree with people. Nevermind the 6 minute little movie describing why you don't think Halo 3 is God's gift to gamers.


Now, anybody have a towel? I need to wipe the shit off my nose.

 

[iXaarii]

... well, I normally do my very best to avoid subscribing to yet another forum/mailinglist/website... but you have gone just too far with writing stuff i love and i just have to thank you! I mean the first days i found your stuff I went all around preaching with elaborate theories like: "you know how i like pratchett? and also douglas adamns... but then he went and died on me...well... the universe sooooo likes me: it seeems he's reincarnated, and even better he likes games even more now and is writing about something i am very passionate about". Long story short: I'm one "games are art hippie" (even published a bit on this,... besides boring to death everybody i know) who is sooooo very happy that you're out there. Thank you!
Getting back to halo 3: I'm constantly looking for games which are worth experiencing, particularly games which focus more on the art part (locations, architecture, music, mood, story, dialogue...) than the gameplay part (shooting things, jumping over things may be a fun thing to many but for me most of the time they're jsut a required skill to get to delicious artwork)... and each time i considered playing a halo game it didn't seem to be anything special... then comes out this halo 3 thingie and it gets perfect scores... normally my intuition is pretty much always right so i'm surprised there's no people out there who see any problems with halo 3: so i made it my working hypothesis that maybe all these reviewers are grading halo3 not by the campaign but by the whole package, with multiplayer adding a lot... so i was very encouraged by your review: i feel exactly like you about multiplayer: it doesn't mean anything to me. I think just about any game can be a quite good experience if you're playing it with friends (flashbacks of this tiny oneway duke3d map)... but that doesn't make a game a artwork masterpiece.
Thank you for your greeat stuff! Thank you for all the work you put into creating, thinking up and illustrating your words with very smart visuals... it's like it was pages of hitchikers guide to the galaxy, the pages treating games written in a way that i loved... but maybe even better!

PS: if i may i would like to express a fear... because i like you so much: it seems to me like some streams of journalism, particularly when combined with your very inteligent style, can end up being overly cynical/critical. I can understand that because it pays... but I'd admire you even more if you dared to not lose the times where you are also positive and excited. I know people love critical but I think there's greatness in ballancing things out... giving rays of hope... so hoping for more reviews of stuff you actually admire and appreciate like you did with psychonauts

 

[Snap07]

Actually, despite the mass of comments flooding in, the ratio of senseless bashing to praise for Yahtzee is actually quite (surprisingly) low. Most critis have either valid arguments for themselves - which basically all boil down to "its a matter of taste". As Yahtzee has said, he is giving _his own opinion_ and if that differs from your experience thats fine and no reason to attack (or feel attacked). If you feel that someone is not getting fawning over the same stuff you see as a lifestyle then thats YOUR problem, not the other persons. Not even attempting argumentum ad hominem ("your a sellout therefore youre wrong") will change that. That and Yahtzee is pretty much always spot on.

I think that most of not-fanboys are ticked off at the hype because theyd really love to play a game that holds all the PR-promises without any downsides - which the final result just does not deliver. So yeah, every medal has two sides and hyping stuff tends to seperate people into more extreme opposites.

why should I give a flying shit about your "review" other than its entertainment value?

Actually, why do you? Im honestly curious, its not like he needs your approval or something.

 

[jt2002tj]

yeah, at least he's got an interesting opinion.

 

[Evilducks]

Okay, I concede that you may not be a contrarian for the sake of it, but you are obviously biased. At least with the couple "reviews" I've seen. Using the term "console 'tard" is one clue. Your videos come off more like comical rants to stroke off the choir and inflame the rest. But that's OK man. You're very good at it. I honestly give kudos to your sense of humor and cleverness.

And your Halo 3 assessment is horribly incomplete. Multiplayer is a HUGE part of the game that you simply don't care about, so how can you give an honest opinion? If you don't give a flying shit about an important aspect of the game, why should I give a flying shit about your "review" other than its entertainment value?

Actually, thats what makes his review unbias. The term 'console tard' is just a joke to imply that certain things have to be simplified to move a game from PC to console. There are a variety of reasons for this, but mostly its just control aspects. He's clearly a console tard himself since he almost exclusively reviews console games. (occasionally even ones he really likes)

However, back to the unbias. He doesn't give a flying shit about multiplayer. So, why should he review it as that would be horribly bias. If he's predisposed to not give a flying poo about mutliplayer aspects of a game then trying to review them isn't going to get you anything useful.

Bungie and MS decided that this game is suppose to have some story worthy of books and movies. This story supposedly exists within the single player aspect of the game, except it's nothing special. Some people may love it and that's fine, but face facts, the Halo books aren't going down in history with Tolkien, Douglas Adams or any other well know sci-fi or fantasy author out there. This is a review of the game itself not relying on other humans to make it fun, in which case he thinks its average.


Really, I could use a towel now...

 

[tsb3esg [deprecated]]

The lack of incoherent ranting and trolling is rather disappointing. Would have loved to come to Yahtzee's defence with guns blazing, but there's really not much point to it. One thing though - there are enough 'run down the standard elements and give 2 points for this, 3 for that, and 4.1 for so-and-so for a total score of 9.1' reviews out there for us not to need another one. Yahtzee's are truely funny - but actually more valuable to me as well.

Hmm. Let me stirr up a little controversy after all - if this doesnt get out the haters, I really give up on you lot
Halo is like the Starwars of games.... Terrible story, horrible acting, ridiculous characters. There - I said it. Being a HUGE SciFi fan, I've never understood how that C-movie could have become such a hit, and same for Halo.

(runs for cover, now realising he maybe should have used a proxy to post this. Note to self: check car for IED's in the morning. )