Zero Punctuation: Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII

[Thanatos2k]

There's so many other franchise square holds that they can fucked up, but they choose to fucked up FF year after year. Let's see some Crono Trigger/cross, Tobal, parasite eve, bushido blade and front mission for a change..........oh wait, they did fucked up front mission, ok 2 down 20 more to go.

They fucked up Parasite Eve too. 3 down.

It's debatable whether they fucked up the Mana series with their last entry of that as well, considering they never made another game to date. (Oh, but they made a crappy iOS port of Secret of Mana! Secret of Mana 2 continues to be UNLOCALIZED while they port every other SNES game 5 times though)

They've buried Grandia in a deep dark hole never to return.

Dragon Warrior has been turned into an MMO.

Star Ocean is officially done.

Tri-Ace hasn't made a game for them for how long?

They refuse to localize their games like Type-0 and Blood of Bahamut.

Few companies have taken poorer care of their franchises.

 

[The Dead Singer]

"The enemies were too hard so I gave up."

Good review.

Or it just had a completely fair and extremely difficulty spike with badly designed battles and bosses

Friend got this game and I gave after roughly the same time, boring wehn that wasn't happening, annoying otherwise. I saw a couple of playthroughs for it (or a few parts), and a lot of people appeared to think the same too.


Yeah so nothing surprising, game is shit nothing to see here.

 

[KingdomFantasyXIII]

There's so many other franchise square holds that they can fucked up, but they choose to fucked up FF year after year. Let's see some Crono Trigger/cross, Tobal, parasite eve, bushido blade and front mission for a change..........oh wait, they did fucked up front mission, ok 2 down 20 more to go.

They fucked up Parasite Eve too. 3 down.

It's debatable whether they fucked up the Mana series with their last entry of that as well, considering they never made another game to date. (Oh, but they made a crappy iOS port of Secret of Mana! Secret of Mana 2 continues to be UNLOCALIZED while they port every other SNES game 5 times though)

They've buried Grandia in a deep dark hole never to return.

Dragon Warrior has been turned into an MMO.

Star Ocean is officially done.

Tri-Ace hasn't made a game for them for how long?

They refuse to localize their games like Type-0 and Blood of Bahamut.

Few companies have taken poorer care of their franchises.

3rd Birthday is a spinoff game and a spiritual successor. It's not Parasite Eve 3.

They haven't fucked up Mana series

Dragon Warrior was a one shot game from LONG ago.

Star Ocean just got a game in 2009. I highly doubt it will be finished

Tri-Ace has made several games: Resonance of Fate, the XIII sequels, Star Ocean, Valkyrie Profile, Infinite Undiscovery, etc. They will keep maing more.

Type-0 will come but Bahamut isn't really interesting

 

[Blaze the Dragon]

I just don't get how this series is popular, I'll admit I can't speak much for the sequels, but the first game was so stupid that I just can't figure out how it was popular enough to demand sequels in the first place! It's literally a game about doing nothing.

 

[Ryan Hughes]

I wonder if the plot makes more sense in the original Japanese and the translation was extremely rushed or something.

As a person who was tremendously fond of FF II on the SNES, I would say "no." That had a terrible translation, but the characters were still likeable and they said funny things, like: "You Spoony Bard!" and had warrior-monks who Sneezed when they attacked, and an English Ninja of all things. . . So, there is a difference between bad translation and bad writing. Alice Munro -recent Nobel Prize winner for Literature- could not have translated FFXIII into any kind of meaningful coherence because the source is the issue.

 

[KingdomFantasyXIII]

I just don't get how this series is popular, I'll admit I can't speak much for the sequels, but the first game was so stupid that I just can't figure out how it was popular enough to demand sequels in the first place! It's literally a game about doing nothing.

Probably either from the fact that it got an 83 by critics, sold over 6.2 million copies in 1 year, Japan has made Lightning Farron one of the most popular female FF characters ever and the fact that the one bad official review in FF13 got critically panned by fans that Mr. Sterling and to write an "unbiased" review of the game due to being caught lying about said game:


http://www.destructoid.com/100-objective-review-final-fantasy-xiii-179178.phtml

Let's put it this way: If nobody liked the original game and the majority hated it, this would not have happened. Just saying.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I'm actually having a lot of fun with this game. Of course, I've played the first two and enjoyed them (XIII less than XIII-2, but still) so I'm a bit bias I guess.

Anyway, Lightning missing her emotions and God promising to bring her sister back is raised by Lightning herself. I just got to the part where Lightning is reminded of her deal, and she comments that she should have felt hope, joy, something, but there's nothing. Which is weird and a complete lie, because when Serah did appear, she got desperate and reached out to hug her and everything. So yeah...Lightning's only missing her emotions in terms of people saying so. She still has them from what I've seen. I've seen her get mad, snarky, happy, wistful, regretful, and I'm only about seven hours into the game.

Which brings me to one of the things that I think is really helping this game: Lightning herself. She seems much more human now. She's got a sense of humor, and she is actually showing emotions instead of just being angry all the time like in XIII and mysterious like in 2. I know the review says that she's still brooding, but I've played enough to see that that is just a cover for her. I really feel like they've managed to write Lightning, and a lot of the characters actually (the boss from the first chapter and his dream actually was really touching to me), better than they did in the other two games. It seems like they finally found a good balance for the character. Just too bad that it took them three games to do it.

And Lumia...that girl is creepy and a much better villain than the last two.

 

[DJ_Bunce]

One of the best ZPs I've seen in a long time. Good form, sir.

 

[karkashan]

Meh. I thought the game was pretty good, actually.

 

[Thanatos2k]

There's so many other franchise square holds that they can fucked up, but they choose to fucked up FF year after year. Let's see some Crono Trigger/cross, Tobal, parasite eve, bushido blade and front mission for a change..........oh wait, they did fucked up front mission, ok 2 down 20 more to go.

They fucked up Parasite Eve too. 3 down.

It's debatable whether they fucked up the Mana series with their last entry of that as well, considering they never made another game to date. (Oh, but they made a crappy iOS port of Secret of Mana! Secret of Mana 2 continues to be UNLOCALIZED while they port every other SNES game 5 times though)

They've buried Grandia in a deep dark hole never to return.

Dragon Warrior has been turned into an MMO.

Star Ocean is officially done.

Tri-Ace hasn't made a game for them for how long?

They refuse to localize their games like Type-0 and Blood of Bahamut.

Few companies have taken poorer care of their franchises.

3rd Birthday is a spinoff game and a spiritual successor. It's not Parasite Eve 3.

Uh huh. And Unlimited SaGa was just a spin off game and did no damage to the SaGa franchise at all!

They haven't fucked up Mana series

Did you play Dawn of Mana?

Dragon Warrior was a one shot game from LONG ago.

???

Star Ocean just got a game in 2009. I highly doubt it will be finished

You haven't been keeping up with the developers. The 4th game wasn't even supposed to exist, but the designer got dragged back for one more game. The series is done. For real. He said he's not making any more.

Tri-Ace has made several games: Resonance of Fate, the XIII sequels, Star Ocean, Valkyrie Profile, Infinite Undiscovery, etc. They will keep maing more.

Resonance of Fate was their last game. 4 years ago. Published by Sega of all people. There has been no news whatsoever about them making another game. 4 years is a long time.

Type-0 will come but Bahamut isn't really interesting

Whatever you say.

Probably either from the fact that it got an 83 by critics

Final Fantasy has always enjoyed the AAA franchise score bump. Thing is though, that 83 was the lowest of ANY main series FF game to date. And it was low for a reason. FF13 sequels have finally worn through the clout and goodwill the series once had with reviewers and is finally getting what it deserves.

 

[KingdomFantasyXIII]

Probably either from the fact that it got an 83 by critics

Final Fantasy has always enjoyed the AAA franchise score bump. Thing is though, that 83 was the lowest of ANY main series FF game to date. And it was low for a reason. FF13 sequels have finally worn through the clout and goodwill the series once had with reviewers and is finally getting what it deserves.

FF5 has that same critic score and people are all like "OH IT'S A GOOD FINAL FANTSY GAME". A Final Fantasy game that is usually considered bad by majority is usually something that is under 80% or a spinoff. Such examples include FF2, FF3, FF14, XIII-2, Lightning Returns, Dirge of Cerberus, etc.

 

[Thanatos2k]

They haven't fucked up Mana series

Sorry I spoke too soon! Literally moments after making my previous post I discovered they JUST announced a new Mana game!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omllJJzuK6Y

.....Mobile only. Free to play. So yes, Mana series is now ruined as well. 4 down.

 

[KingdomFantasyXIII]

They haven't fucked up Mana series

Sorry I spoke too soon! Literally moments after making my previous post I discovered they JUST announced a new Mana game!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omllJJzuK6Y

.....Mobile only. Free to play. So yes, Mana series is now ruined as well. 4 down.

Yes, because a phone game is going to be the end of ANY franchise. Usually a franchise ends from a major console release.

 

[Mr Companion]

"The enemies were too hard so I gave up."

Good review.

You're right that is precisely the only fault that made him quit, this otherwise infallible game was too hardcore for puss-in-booth. He reviewed Dark Souls last week and loved it but this game was like, TOO far and he couldn't handle how excellent it is.

 

[CelestDaer]

First well written female protagonist in a Final Fantasy game? Really? I disagree, personally, and I would point at Garnet and Freya in FF9...

 

[Atmos Duality]

Yes, because a phone game is going to be the end of ANY franchise.

In Mana's case, it's more like a brief moment of necromancy, where they raise this empty husk; its soul having departed long ago.

Usually a franchise ends from a major console release.

Or it goes quietly and rots under in some big publisher portfolio.

 

[KingdomFantasyXIII]

There's so many other franchise square holds that they can frak up, but they choose to frak up FF year after year. Let's see some Crono Trigger/cross, Tobal, parasite eve, bushido blade and front mission for a change..........oh wait, they did frak up front mission, ok 2 down 20 more to go.

They frakked up Parasite Eve too. 3 down.

It's debatable whether they frakked up the Mana series with their last entry of that as well, considering they never made another game to date. (Oh, but they made a crappy iOS port of Secret of Mana! Secret of Mana 2 continues to be UNLOCALIZED while they port every other SNES game 5 times though)

They've buried Grandia in a deep dark hole never to return.

Dragon Warrior has been turned into an MMO.

Star Ocean is officially done.

Tri-Ace hasn't made a game for them for how long?

They refuse to localize their games like Type-0 and Blood of Bahamut.

Few companies have taken poorer care of their franchises.

3rd Birthday is a spinoff game and a spiritual successor. It's not Parasite Eve 3.

They haven't frakked up Mana series

Dragon Warrior was a one shot game from LONG ago.

Star Ocean just got a game in 2009. I highly doubt it will be finished

Tri-Ace has made several games: Resonance of Fate, the XIII sequels, Star Ocean, Valkyrie Profile, Infinite Undiscovery, etc. They will keep maing more.

Type-0 will come but Bahamut isn't really interesting

Star Ocean got a game in 2009? Only recent Star Ocean games I've heard of are the PSP remakes of the first 2.

Also, would you mind recommending some JRPGs? I'm looking for something to fill the void Sqaure-Enix has left in recent years. I've been playing some RPGs from Atlus (Mega Ten Persona games) and Namco-Bandai (Tales Of games) and I've noticed over the past year or two, that indie developers can make some games can beat Square-Enix's recent titles as well. (Zeboyd Games Cthulu Saves The World and The Penny Arcade Adventures Ep.3 & 4, and Heart-Bit Interactive's Doom and Destiny) Usually stick to Turn-Based RPGs, but if done right, I like Action RPGs as well.

Let's see here:

Persona 3 PSP and 4 Golden
Ni No Kuni
Tales of Graces F
Tales of Xillia
Xenoblade Chronicles
Braverly Default
The World Ends With You
Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep
Lost Odyssey (Xbox 360 exclusive)
BLue DRagon (Xbox 360 exclusive)
The Last Remnant (Xbox 360 exclusive)
Tales of Vesperia (Xbox 360 exclusive)
Valkyria Chronicles
Resonance of Fate
Star Ocean: The Last Hope
Radiant Historia
Fire Emblem Awakening
NIER
Monster Hunter 4

These are usually the mostly to critically acclaiming games I can think of.

 

[Thanatos2k]

Yes, because a phone game is going to be the end of ANY franchise. Usually a franchise ends from a major console release.

Then it ended at Dawn of Mana, a major console disaster of a release and the last Mana game made before this mobile travesty.

Star Ocean got a game in 2009? Only recent Star Ocean games I've heard of are the PSP remakes of the first 2.

Also, would you mind recommending some JRPGs? I'm looking for something to fill the void Sqaure-Enix has left in recent years. I've been playing some RPGs from Atlus (Mega Ten Persona games) and Namco-Bandai (Tales Of games) and I've noticed over the past year or two, that indie developers can make some games can beat Square-Enix's recent titles as well. (Zeboyd Games Cthulu Saves The World and The Penny Arcade Adventures Ep.3 & 4, and Heart-Bit Interactive's Doom and Destiny) Usually stick to Turn-Based RPGs, but if done right, I like Action RPGs as well.

Star Ocean 4 was released in 2009 on the 360, yes. Then they ported it to PS3 after that.

Good JRPGs lately?

Bravely Default
Shin Megami Tensei 4
Fire Emblem Awakening
Tactics Ogre: LUCT remake
Radiant Historia
Xenoblade
Last Story
Dragon's Dogma
Ni No Kuni
Dragon's Crown
Dust: An Elysian Tail
The Atelier games are pretty good. New one's about to come out too.

The Last Remnant (Xbox 360 exclusive)

Last Remnant was ported to PC. Also it's the only version worth playing as they fixed so many problems ONLY in the PC version.

 

[shrekfan246]

and the fact that the one bad official review in FF13 got critically panned by fans that Mr. Sterling and to write an "unbiased" review of the game due to being caught lying about said game:


http://www.destructoid.com/100-objective-review-final-fantasy-xiii-179178.phtml

Uh... "lying"?

You did read both of Jim's reviews in question, right?

And understand the point of his "objective" review?

It has nothing to do with the "truth" of his original review, but with the whining that everyone threw at him because of it. People complained that he shouldn't use his opinions or experiences while reviewing games.

 

[Therumancer]

I have a great idea for a new video! Let's put Lisa Foiles into a steel cage debate match with Yahtzee, perhaps hosted by "No Right Answer" and have them battle it out over whether Lightning is great or not.

The only other thing that I can really say here is that listening to video made me keep thinking of the old "So terrible it actually becomes amusingly entertaining" "House Of The Dead" movie, where one of the main characters reveals that his pre-island background is "America's most famous male underwear model" or something very close to that. Now I have this odd compulsion to watch that movie again for the lulz...

Needless to say I'm not a big fan of "Final Fantasy XIII" though honestly I don't think it's the fault of Lightning in particular, it's the whole thing. I still have fond memories of the series though, and hope it will somehow get back on track. That said the existence of TWO "Final Fantasy XIII" sequels makes me doubt that... so even as a JRPG fan I'm starting to pretty much mourn this franchise as being dead for all intents and purposes. I just hope things like the "Shin Megami Tensei" series don't follow suit...