Zero Punctuation: Mailbag Showdown

[NekoMimiMode]

Okay, as someone who owns SSBB, I can tell you this: it's okay. It is not the best game ever, only Mario 64 and Okami get to hold that ranking in my opinion. And it is annoying to unlock the unlockables (took me roughly 2 weeks, and that's with help and an awesome cheat). I liked the single player until the stage before the final boss. That place tooks us DAYS to get through. But you know what? Snake's taunt is hiding in a box, and doing that right before I decimated a friend is just awesome. And do not call your friend a Nintendo Fan. I am a Nintendo Fan, I practically worship Miyamoto-sama. However, I also draw the line. Your friend is a Ninten-tard, basically if you have ever heard of a Naru-tard, he's like that, only with Nintendo. And all people like that, need to be smited.

FYI, fanboys don't wear the cat ears, they wear stupid shirts instead. *puts on Nintendo Fangirl red cat ears* I support Nintendo, but it is rather unoriginal, but hey, at least it's fun.

 

[Kaos Incarnate]

I have a few of those shirts somewhere...

 

[NickCaligo42]

Okay, Yahtzee pissed me off with his Devil May Cry 4 review and all but completely lost my viewership with his Brawl review, then made me lose faith in the entire human race when he actually gave God of War a GOOD review when I was deeply hoping he'd rip it a new one, but after THIS he has proven once more worthy of my esteem. Not only was this review a real breath of fresh air, but the only phrase as funny as "farming under duress" that I've yet encountered is "you're projecting so hard you could point yourself at a wall and show off powerpoint presentations."

Well done, Yahtzee. You've succeeded in totally alienating me as a viewer and then doing a complete 180 and bringing me right back in.

Now if only you and I BOTH had that kind of luck with women.

 

[Rygar]

If you want I can post the original, unabridged version of the e-mail.

Oh, please.

F*** you. SSBB is awesome. Just because your are too blinded by the shiny vomit distributed for the PS3 to see that, doesn't mean that should try to convince others that SSMB is bad. The hours of single player mode to unlock extras is part of SSB. Its f****** tradition. I'm pretty sure that the other reason you dont like SSBB is that you were crap at it. Its true isnt it? You got your shiny vomit covered ass handed to you by Yoshi. And dont try to blame it on bad contols or opponents having super moves that strike you out in one hit. Its because it took you five hours to figure out up was jump and A was attack. Now whos the twat?

I'm not sure what that "SSMB" in the middle is about

 

[RebelRising]

He screwed all those a**holes over very well. I love how he corrected their letters.

 

[DontHate]

hahah! this is definatly your best video

 

[L4Y Duke]

F*** you. SSBB is awesome. Just because your are too blinded by the shiny vomit distributed for the PS3 to see that, doesn't mean that should try to convince others that SSMB is bad. The hours of single player mode to unlock extras is part of SSB. Its f****** tradition. I'm pretty sure that the other reason you dont like SSBB is that you were crap at it. Its true isnt it? You got your shiny vomit covered ass handed to you by Yoshi. And dont try to blame it on bad contols or opponents having super moves that strike you out in one hit. Its because it took you five hours to figure out up was jump and A was attack. Now whos the twat?

I'm not sure what that "SSMB" in the middle is about

Oh, boy. After reading that I get the image of a twisted pretzel-man who simultaneously has his head up his ass AND his foot in his mouth. Not a pleasant picture.

 

[laikenf]

So I guess from the grammatical corrections today, this particular column was "some punctuation" rather than "zero punctuation".

Anyways, while I did enjoy SSBB, it is plainly obvious that Nintendo fans are by and large just kids or kids that never grew up. Not in the Toys R Us sense either. Everything about their precious little Wii has been hailed as Messiahs and touted as exemplifying the Wii as the system of choice. When one person of any credibility in the gaming world comes along and expresses dissatisfaction with SSMM and Nintendo as a whole they grab their torches and pitchforks and attack. Watching these posts and the sheer repetitiveness of their moronic arguments reminded me of any time the villagers attacked in Resident Evil 4. Tons of people, all absorbed by the same "cult" spouting mindless drivel in an effort to kill the people that will not conform.

Also, I'm sure that they weren't complaining when you gave pretty favorable reviews to Mario Galaxy, Zack & Wiki, and No More Heroes. Ignorant children.

Don't generalize, for I'm a nintendo fan and I HATE SSB (any of them).

 

[Beaux]

Best Zero Punctuation yet. Yahtzee has outdone himself. I loved the excellent bashing of the Wii fanboys and the part about the troll. He should do this whenever a bunch of stupid asses plug his email full of hate mail.

 

[Freeyourmind775]

Oh man, This is an AWESOME video.

Keep it up.

Additionally: When might we get some ZP shirts???

 

[NekoMimiMode]

Rygar, hit your friend. Hit him hard, and hit him alot. Please. Ninten-tards... *shakes head in pity and shame, clutching the Wii, my cat tried to eat it again so I had to pick it up* Also, tell him to proof his emails. I know emailing services have spell check, I use it alot. But do not give up on him! We shall overcome this and save your friend!

 

[Silver_Wyvern280]

Been a long time watcher, first time writer. A enjoyable video from start to finish, even though I find it silly that a critic had to argue his choice on why he has deemed SSBB not worth his time. He knew as well as most everyone that he was going to stir up the fan boys for even a unbiased and neutral opinion. I do admit, the only attacks I saw were towards the fan boys themselves, not the game. I found the SSBB hype irritating, mostly because of how people complained about release dates. Everything else I am unbiased to; I did Played the first two and they kept my attention for a hour or so. I am not going to play the third, mostly because I find the Wii-mote such a useless gimmick. I have grown up with PC and Console controllers, and I found Nintendo's controls go more and more impractical after the SNES. There is my TLDR rant for you all, Will be awaiting the next ZP. Lets hope that the SSBB flame war has cooled down enough so we can move on with our lives.

 

[Doug]

F*** you. SSBB is awesome. Just because your are too blinded by the shiny vomit distributed for the PS3 to see that, doesn't mean that should try to convince others that SSMB is bad. The hours of single player mode to unlock extras is part of SSB. Its f****** tradition. I'm pretty sure that the other reason you dont like SSBB is that you were crap at it. Its true isnt it? You got your shiny vomit covered ass handed to you by Yoshi. And dont try to blame it on bad contols or opponents having super moves that strike you out in one hit. Its because it took you five hours to figure out up was jump and A was attack. Now whos the twat?

I'm not sure what that "SSMB" in the middle is about

Wow... and I thought the email was stupid before! Great review Yahtzee, although I think I'm turning into a yahtzee fanboy now... does this mean I'll have to be purged with the others or do members of the cult of Yahtzee get to live!

 

[A Username Not In Use]

Am I the only one who thinks that the fan-mail under review this week were made up.

Nobody can be that stupid.

Sexton Crikey, compalained about peer pressure. There was peer pressure for Call of Duty 4 but Yahtzee still did the review and even admited the game was OK

Cpt. James Obvious (ret.), althought it should be Capt. (Retd) James Obvious, said that Yahtzee only points out bad things but given the situation with Snake and Sonic how else would you discribe it?

Fergus Buttpump argument about friends. As well as mentioning that he played the game with his friends Yahtzee did mention that this game it best played with other people, and I'm not just saying this as a "that guy".

And finally

Chesty Jockhurst quote "Nintendo made it so that the players could have fun mercilessly beating the ever-loving crap out of their most hated characters".

Mario beating the stupid out of Princess Peach anyone

All of the above lead me to think that either these have been made up by Yahtzee, which I have to admire as I believe that these are of a higher quality that the complainte he would normally receive, or they were written by morons who did not watch the reviews but were faithfully informed about the content by the bloke in the pub's best mate's nephew.

 

[laikenf]

What I don't get with all this is why people don't agree with Yatzee. What is it in his review that there is to have an opinion about?

You can't be serious right? You know what, I tend to disagree with Yatzee a lot, what I don't do is be an ass about it but my point is that there are people that disagree with anything, god, the devil; how can you disagree with someone like Martin Luther King for example? Well you know what happened to him.

 

[Irridium]

lol, awsome, love how he corrected the hate mail

 

[goddi23a]

truly epic "review"

 

[Kaos Incarnate]

Am I the only one who thinks that the fan-mail under review this week were made up.

Nobody can be that stupid.

Go to youtube, find any video of any band doesn't matter which one there will always be a comment saying something on the lines of "This bands sucks" trust me there can be people that stupid. For crying out loud someone said Fallout boy was better than the song Stairway to Heaven

 

[A Username Not In Use]

Maybe your right, although I have to admit that I do not think Stairway to Heaven was their best work, that title is reserved for Kashmir

 

[NekoMimiMode]

YouTube is basically where stupid lives. You ever seen the Baby and Cobra video? Parent sits there and lets a cobra bite the baby. People are that stupid, but it's okay, we can derive entertainment from it. *puts back on catears after being bitched at to take them off by a family member*