Zero Punctuation: MindJack

[Saerain]

But Yahtzee shouldn't have made it sound like Square Enix is somehow developing this game, when they published it. Square Enix never develops an ugly game. A bad game, yes. But an ugly one? No way.

Yes they do. The FF13 box art popped up in the video, and that's the first example I would point to as well. Again, just the box art is all you need: See that thing on the cover? That thing that looks like a man with extremely large breasts? That right there is very ugly. And that's one of the things SE is always doing that makes their games look ugly: they never seem to make characters that look like the gender they are a part of. No Square, slapping giant tits on a character doesn't make it look like a girl when it has an extremely manish face. It just looks like a man with huge boobs, which is very creepy. And very ugly.

Cannot tell if serious.

I confess to never having played a Final Fantasy game, so forgive me if this is something that becomes somehow clearer during gameplay, but in all these years of promotional material and player screenshots/videos, I've never experienced this gender confusion that many westerners claim to with their characters.

Nor do I understand why?even if I did experience this uncertainty?it would be ?creepy.?

I wonder what it is that saddles some people with this problem and similar problems. I want to dig into their fusiform gyrus.

 

[fates_puppet13]

i see the fable paradox of good concepts but no drive to forful the ambition
leaving a shitty game that you have to make up the fun for it as you go along
which s the joy of open rpgs in that theres a plot but you don't really have to follow it

the multiplayer seems also a good concept but random joining will sure as hell shit on any pretence of ity being any good because most online communities enjoy griefing and trolling leading to watching somegy get killed by someone who has been preventing game completion for shits and giggles which puts me in an mmo mindset with pvp on

 

[BrotherRool]

I actually think the original story idea was that you were some other entity than agent Jim. It would explain the AI, the what's mind hacking? moment and why you character randomly went off and killed another guy right at the beginning. In fact it would have been a fantastic story, smashing the fourth wall, explaining cutscenes and going MGS on everyones arse.


WHY OH WHY did it happen to this game? Couldn't ANYONE else have used the idea?

 

[shimyia]

i loled my ass off when he said "Can't see the killing for my gun... How Philosophical"
:LOLOLOLOL:

 

[shimyia]

i loled my ass off when he said "Can't see the killing for my gun... How Philosophical"
:LOLOLOLOL:

 

[shimyia]

i loled my ass off when he said "Can't see the killing for my gun... How Philosophical"
:LOLOLOLOL:

 

[shimyia]

i loled my ass off when he said "Can't see the killing for my gun... How Philosophical"
:LOLOLOLOL:

 

[Gaming King]

Gettin' REAL sick of these ZP reviews of games nobody's fucking heard of. REVIEW FUCKING SONIC COLORS ALREADY!!! SOMEBODY needs to give that horrible piece of shit game the buttfucking it deserves. Do it, Yahtzee, PLEASE!!

You complain about him reviewing games no ones heard of.... Then ask him to review 'sonic colors'?

Hypocrisy, thy name is 'Gaming King'.

Bullshit. You probably just don't play Wii games. It's a huge game, hailed by retards as Sonic returning to form, which couldn't be farther from the truth. People say it is good, but it's not.

YOU say it's not good. That's all. YOU. It's personal opinion. Not saying others don't hate it too or whatever, but your personal view of gaming means absolutely fuck all to anyone else. People will play what THEY want to play. Who the fuck are you to dictate?

No, who the fuck are YOU to tell me I can't have an opinion or disagree with those of others?

 

[MattAn24]

Gettin' REAL sick of these ZP reviews of games nobody's fucking heard of. REVIEW FUCKING SONIC COLORS ALREADY!!! SOMEBODY needs to give that horrible piece of shit game the buttfucking it deserves. Do it, Yahtzee, PLEASE!!

You complain about him reviewing games no ones heard of.... Then ask him to review 'sonic colors'?

Hypocrisy, thy name is 'Gaming King'.

Bullshit. You probably just don't play Wii games. It's a huge game, hailed by retards as Sonic returning to form, which couldn't be farther from the truth. People say it is good, but it's not.

YOU say it's not good. That's all. YOU. It's personal opinion. Not saying others don't hate it too or whatever, but your personal view of gaming means absolutely fuck all to anyone else. People will play what THEY want to play. Who the fuck are you to dictate?

No, who the fuck are YOU to tell me I can't have an opinion or disagree with those of others?

Did anyone ever say I was saying that? Way to misunderstand~!

I am saying that you're forcing YOUR opinion as fact. YOU believe that a particular Sonic game is terrible. YOU do. That's perfectly fine. No one is stopping you from thinking that. But to tell someone that THEY shouldn't like it is just plain moronic.

As I said, it's personal taste. You don't like X thing? FINE. No one else cares. Just don't go forcing that view on others. They'll like what they want to fucking like.

Hell, I haven't even PLAYED Sonic Colours yet (yes, I'm Australian, I'll be using the proper spelling, thank you..), so I really don't give a shit what it may or may not be like.

I really don't like Dragon Age or Mass Effect. At all. Every time I've attempted to play either of them I was quickly bored and lost interest completely. Not the games for me. I could care less about the hype. But when someone says "YOU SUCK BECAUSE YOU DON'T PLAY GOOD GAMES!", it's absolutely pathetic, seeing as interest in individual games is totally subjective and unique to everyone.

 

[Gaming King]

Gettin' REAL sick of these ZP reviews of games nobody's fucking heard of. REVIEW FUCKING SONIC COLORS ALREADY!!! SOMEBODY needs to give that horrible piece of shit game the buttfucking it deserves. Do it, Yahtzee, PLEASE!!

You complain about him reviewing games no ones heard of.... Then ask him to review 'sonic colors'?

Hypocrisy, thy name is 'Gaming King'.

Bullshit. You probably just don't play Wii games. It's a huge game, hailed by retards as Sonic returning to form, which couldn't be farther from the truth. People say it is good, but it's not.

YOU say it's not good. That's all. YOU. It's personal opinion. Not saying others don't hate it too or whatever, but your personal view of gaming means absolutely fuck all to anyone else. People will play what THEY want to play. Who the fuck are you to dictate?

No, who the fuck are YOU to tell me I can't have an opinion or disagree with those of others?

Did anyone ever say I was saying that? Way to misunderstand~!

I am saying that you're forcing YOUR opinion as fact. YOU believe that a particular Sonic game is terrible. YOU do. That's perfectly fine. No one is stopping you from thinking that. But to tell someone that THEY shouldn't like it is just plain moronic.

As I said, it's personal taste. You don't like X thing? FINE. No one else cares. Just don't go forcing that view on others. They'll like what they want to fucking like.

Hell, I haven't even PLAYED Sonic Colours yet (yes, I'm Australian, I'll be using the proper spelling, thank you..), so I really don't give a shit what it may or may not be like.

I really don't like Dragon Age or Mass Effect. At all. Every time I've attempted to play either of them I was quickly bored and lost interest completely. Not the games for me. I could care less about the hype. But when someone says "YOU SUCK BECAUSE YOU DON'T PLAY GOOD GAMES!", it's absolutely pathetic, seeing as interest in individual games is totally subjective and unique to everyone.

Oh, so you're trying to fuck up my shit because I like to fiercely state my opinions in a forceful way? Fuck that, let's talk grammar. Why is "Colours" the "right" spelling? I doubt it's like "paedophile," where we just dropped part of the word and started mispronouncing it.

 

[SovietSecrets]

"At one point towards the end of the game we spent over an hour firing what seemed like hundreds of rockets into a towering mech to no avail, before getting exasperated and mopping up the remaining ground troops instead, at which point the mech spontaneously exploded in a cutscene. This method is repeated soon after for a pair of twin mechs."

Now you can go back and beat that boss .

 

[John the Gamer]

The multiplayer-thing sounds like the drop-in battles from Napoleon: Total War.

Liked the joke at the end.

 

[Waif]

First time I have heard of this game, sounds interesting, and maybe even fun. I'll have to see a few more reviews first though...

 

[Eveonline100]

inroically mass effect 1 had a simaller boss fight in example kill all the asari commondos then deal with the there leader (her name excaspes me).

 

[Sifer2]

The game does sound bad but the multiplayer option to 'hack' into someone's single player game and screw with them does sound intriguing. Maybe a few tweaks would make it better?

Yeah its the only redeeming idea of this game. Too bad that too was already done more or less by Demon Souls. Done better actually since you had motivation to do it an something to lose.

 

[BrEnNo1023]

Yahtzee should review ROGUE WARRIOR.
yes i said it. i want to hear what he has to say about that game XD

 

[sarttan]

inroically mass effect 1 had a simaller boss fight in example kill all the asari commondos then deal with the there leader (her name excaspes me).

Matriarch Benezia.

 

[Deh Zebra]

Well, he was clear about one thing: we need more rockets made out of fudge.

 

[puffy786]

The most liked comment for the trailer on youtube for ps3 and Xbox 360 is quote "fucking,fucking,fucking,fucki­ng,fucking. bad,bad,bad,bad,bad"