Zero Punctuation: Painkiller

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JakobBloch

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Apr 7, 2008
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I must say you give this game far too much credit.

All right all right the weapons are great. Actually I can't really remember when I liked the weapons more in a game. There is in fact something greatly therapeutic about using these weapons and especially the painkiller made me feel good about myself.

However this is where the good stuff ends which doesn't make for a lot of good stuff. I found the levels to be samey and murky. It was just a succession of closed areas that you ran around in for a bit (that is to say till you killed everything) ending in a bossfight. Ok I admit I enjoyed the bossfights too. Some of them at least. I do seem to remember that the scenery changed from time to time but it was mostly the same dark and grey colors so I didn't really care that much.

The enemies might have been interesting with their own quirks and personalities but when you are fighting of you 100th wave of ignorant undead or whatever they are this time it doesn't really register. They are just the next dead monster in your way and your just going to treat it as such. This is luckily set on pause for some nice bossfights or I might just have turned the painkiller on myself.

Now for the story. Here I agree. It is shit. It is poorly executed and instead of drawing you in it repulses you to the point where you question yourself as to the reason for this clearly botched investment. Why all this sobstory? I can understand that in games with some substans you might want a well rounded character with motives of his own but here I would rather have had a a grizzled monster with arms like tree trunks. He should be wearing a t-shirt, army boot and pants and a gimpmask for that true heavenly hitman feel. Instead I get mister Believable. In all honesty if the story hadn't been there I might have called this an average game but with it I have to grade it down.

2x P.S: First PS: I admit I made this "review" several years after I played the game. I am now gonna play the game again (or at least as long as I dare before going insane) and if I change my mind I will come back and tell you. In the meantime I stand by this.
Second PS: I may have become a bit incoherent somewhere in there but I was distracted by some music show on TV. There was some hot chick there and I kinda got sidetracked. I am not a professional. I am allowed to get distracted by an ample bosom, broad hips and silky skin.

Well there you have it. My opinion.
 

otterbeans

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May 1, 2008
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twilight_dweller said:
Garfgarog said:
twilight_dweller said:
Huh, and here I was looking forward to a "The World Ends With You" review.
You must be new here.
Not really. But your concern is touching.

I mean that.
Hey, if he was forced to do stuff like Peggle and SSBB, he can be forced to do TWEWY.

However unlikely.
 

the_tramp

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May 16, 2008
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agerdemon said:
You can get it even cheaper than that.
Or otherwise, I simply did a quick search and that was the first thing that I saw. Forgive me if it appeared that I was advertising Steam or something, not that it *really* needs advertising does it... I would like to meet someone who's remotely connected to the Internet gaming community and hasn't heard of it.
 

Giggsfella

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May 21, 2008
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ElArabDeMagnifico said:
As one of the first few to post in this thread, I would like to establish some "implied yet unwritten" rules/guidelines, because I'm not a mod and I don't expect everyone to follow these, but for the greater good of this thread, PLEASE follow them as best as you can! -and Remember, I am condemning out of love, not hate (sort of)

[li]NO ASS KISSING! Yahtzee hates it when people call flawed work flawless, so give the guy some criticism, it's the best thing an artist can get.
[/li]


[li]No flaming either! If you disagree with Yahtzee, say why, and then criticize him, preferably constructively.
[/li]

[li] NO ONE POST WONDERS! IF YOU ARE GOING TO REGISTER JUST TO SAY 'LOL YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, GOOD JOB! BEST ONE YET! LOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOL OR ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE....DON'T! If you register, make your post worthwhile, because one post wonders have an opinion that is worth practically NOTHING, if you make an account, browse the other forums, or just do something other than kiss Yahtzee's ass![/li]

[li]SERIOUSLY! NO ASS KISSING![/li] The Ass kissers are worse than the flamers, the flamers still actually contribute by giving (whether it be good or bad) criticism, ass kissers just make the thread grow until it bursts with bile! DON'T DO IT!


Thanks for listening! Chances are this will be completely ignored anyway! Happy posting!
The fact you give your opinion lots does not make you an expert in opinions. I tend to keep out of anonymous online arguments but your arrogance shouldn't pass by ignored. The only reason I visit this website is to watch Ben's reviews in the same way I flick over to paramount to watch south park. He makes me laugh which seldom happens nowadays.

I'll leave "the other forums" to those of you with a more permanent relationship with the internet.

Oh and before I forget:

1) Yahtzee is a GOD!! This review was crafted by angels.
2) but it also sucked monkey balls. He should review Mario Kart (or something equally moronic)
3) I just registered to impart note 1) and 2), both quite important messages, and will sleep better tonight content that I've educated the world..... have I missed anything??

I hope you found that irritating. wanker!
 

Lord of Decay

New member
May 11, 2008
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this is possiably my favorite review ever ... and i intend to get that game as soon as possible ... it appeals to my twisted sense of humour
 

Lord of Decay

New member
May 11, 2008
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Giggsfella said:
ElArabDeMagnifico said:
As one of the first few to post in this thread, I would like to establish some "implied yet unwritten" rules/guidelines, because I'm not a mod and I don't expect everyone to follow these, but for the greater good of this thread, PLEASE follow them as best as you can! -and Remember, I am condemning out of love, not hate (sort of)

[li]NO ASS KISSING! Yahtzee hates it when people call flawed work flawless, so give the guy some criticism, it's the best thing an artist can get.
[/li]


[li]No flaming either! If you disagree with Yahtzee, say why, and then criticize him, preferably constructively.
[/li]

[li] NO ONE POST WONDERS! IF YOU ARE GOING TO REGISTER JUST TO SAY 'LOL YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, GOOD JOB! BEST ONE YET! LOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOL OR ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE....DON'T! If you register, make your post worthwhile, because one post wonders have an opinion that is worth practically NOTHING, if you make an account, browse the other forums, or just do something other than kiss Yahtzee's ass![/li]

[li]SERIOUSLY! NO ASS KISSING![/li] The Ass kissers are worse than the flamers, the flamers still actually contribute by giving (whether it be good or bad) criticism, ass kissers just make the thread grow until it bursts with bile! DON'T DO IT!


Thanks for listening! Chances are this will be completely ignored anyway! Happy posting!
The fact you give your opinion lots does not make you an expert in opinions. I tend to keep out of anonymous online arguments but your arrogance shouldn't pass by ignored. The only reason I visit this website is to watch Ben's reviews in the same way I flick over to paramount to watch south park. He makes me laugh which seldom happens nowadays.

I'll leave "the other forums" to those of you with a more permanent relationship with the internet.

Oh and before I forget:

1) Yahtzee is a GOD!! This review was crafted by angels.
2) but it also sucked monkey balls. He should review Mario Kart (or something equally moronic)
3) I just registered to impart note 1) and 2), both quite important messages, and will sleep better tonight content that I've educated the world..... have I missed anything??

I hope you found that irritating. wanker!

fraid u did miss something - 'LOL YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, GOOD JOB! BEST ONE YET! LOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOL
Dont worry tho i covered it for u
 

Hamster at Dawn

It's Hazard Time!
Mar 19, 2008
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Forgot to comment on this earlier.
I might have to get this game just for the lightning and shurikens.
The review was average, good but nothing outstanding.
 

thompsons

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May 21, 2008
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This new videoplayer is not working good :/
Please use the old one. It worked allways.
This new one is not good for slow connections because you can't rewind to the beginning and also it does not seem to stop at the end so I could use the replay-button.

Please use the old player in the next videos.
 

m_jim

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Jan 14, 2008
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Bob_F_It said:
Takhisis said:
Bob_F_It said:
Good review; shame we had to wait nearly 3 extra hours for it. Since I enjoyed Black (another first person shoot-the-hell-out-of-everything-er) I might consider hunting that down.

Nice to see that you can start with being positive games again too.

Can we get a sequel to Black please? That game was sweet
As much as we'd all love it and how much it was hinted, no. Said by Criterion, and not even God knows why...
I thought that Black had its moments of brilliance, with the big, loud guns and astounding particle effects. However, when you unload an entire magazine into an enemy's sternum, only to watch him walk away, it gets a bit frustrating. I do think that it is a shame, however, that after the cliffhanger ending we aren't getting a sequel.
 

Aihal

New member
Oct 18, 2007
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Anybody else find the video doesn't load at all in Safari 3.1.1? Latest flash player installed etc, but all I get is a grey box where the video player should be. Works fine in Camino, though.
 

Deadwings

New member
Feb 8, 2008
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Keep the attention on those unsung games yahtzee. You have quite a bit of leverage in the gaming 'community' now and you could do a lot of help for those unsung gems. I recommend looking into Breakdown for the Xbox if you haven't already - amazing game, but no one knows it exists.
 

Aldrenean

New member
Feb 1, 2008
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I've played through Painkiller a few times, I bought the Black Pack of Endless Evil or whatever on Steam a while ago. I have yet to play the expansion, but I hear it sucked some epic scrotum. This is from PCG, though, so that might well be entirely false.
 

Furlong

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Apr 1, 2008
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It's reviews like this that I like the most. The ones that bring your attention to the game that you may never have even heard of before.
 

Ptrack_Git

New member
Apr 6, 2008
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Classic game, a decent video... I had no problems with loading BTW...
This review points out what I have been saying for along time, if forms of entertainment (movies, games, books, etc.) would focus on doing ONE thing really well (in this case killing people) we wold on average get better products. That's not to say I don't like GTA4, for example, in fact I'm playing it right now, but we need less stuff that is supposed to make EVERYBODY happy, and just target one f*cking audience!
 

punknoflowers

New member
May 21, 2008
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Yea, i thought that was great(if a little short); i personally prefer to be shown something new then to be told that something i all ready new probably wasn't that great isn't. I had massive problems with the new player too - it took me the best part of 4 reboots, as my computer kept crashing while trying 2 load - and this one was only about 3:30-45 long, the longer vids wud prob be worse.
 

ranearia

New member
May 7, 2008
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Loved the review, but really hated the new video setup. After 30 mins of waiting on a 4 min review, I went to youtube.