Zero Punctuation: Painkiller

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

im sorry, great review, but was that song called detachable penis What...The...Fuck.

You really have to hear the whole song, it's hilarious, it's about the saga of the man who has a detachable penis, and sometimes...

He loses it! -It is a tale about his journey to re-buy his penis from a hobo after re-tracing his steps to find the guy in the first place.

...it's awesome >_>

 

[dave.k]

If it's criticism Yahtzee wants, it's criticism he'll get.

I feel that this weeks review isn't as good as some of the others; as Yahtzee says himself, he's not as funny when he's giving out praise. Jokes seemed a bit sub-par, which might have been all right if this was a constructive review of a game anyone's ever heard of. Of course, I wouldn't want zero-punctuation to lose all concept of being a source of proper reviews, but let's face it, Yahtzee didn't become popular because of a deep level of game analysis.

And now for a critique of the criticism.

Yahtzee is still very funny, even when giving out praise. Just as long as he's also lambasting some other facet associated with the game. In this case, he is making a point about fps cliches. It's funny. Really. Laugh.

His reviews can be insightful, if you care to think about what he says. Don't write it off completely as popularist humour. He is saying things that most reviewers would hesitate to voice. That's valuable stuff.

The jokes in this review were gold. I watch them at work, during my Thursday lunchtime. I struggled a few times to stop from bursting out laughing. The tits and fire line forced me to chop a rather loud guffaw. I don't like fps games, but this review of one is right up there as one of my favourites.

 

[dave.k]

He loses it! -It is a tale about his journey to re-buy his penis from a hobo after re-tracing his steps to find the guy in the first place.

Somehow, I don't think that'll convince people of the merits of the song.


It's a good song. Yahtzee and King Missile; if the two ever met, the world would never be the same.

 

[Cheshire_Cat]

I am definitely intrigued by the idea of a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning..almost as much as having a dragon to fly around that can shoot lava, lightning or poison (see Drakan). I very much enjoyed this review and your series.

 

[UncleAsriel]

Quality stuff! A good overview of an older game which is hard to find but certainly sounds like fun!

My wish if this new retroactive review thing is going to carry on until Big Name Release Season kicks into high gear again: Left Behind: Eternal Force. I look forward to seeing a badly made game with creepy cultish intentions get ripped to shreds by the Escapist's number one meal ticket. Take that, Tim LaHaye!

 

[Cloudizme]

This is the benefit of NOT reviewing games by popular demand. I'm sure everyone wanted Mario Kart Wii this week, and I'm pretty sure everyone made it apparent that they did. But because Yahtzee didn't, we got a review that uncovered a gem in the dust, and I'm probably going to look into buying this game.

Also, Detachable Penis - best song ever?

 

[Nemra]

good review as usual

 

[hpv]

So this game is all about Liquid Snake murdering people with a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning? Bad ass!

 

[Xenoveritas]

Did Yahtzee seriously suggest that Doom had no "find the keycard" sections?! Because, uh, I seem to recall it having keycards [http://doom.wikia.com/wiki/Keys].

As for the people suggestion Yahtzee review The World Ends With You, why would you want to do that to him? What has he ever done to you? You know he'll hate the experience. Hell, the game plays a constant stream of J-pop.

If Yahtzee were in the habit of going around and kicking people's dogs, I suppose forcing him to play The World Ends With You might be justified. (And if he's been going around kicking people's puppies, maybe even Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII!)

But otherwise, what has he done to deserve reviewing those games?

 

[emokid72]

I haven't been able to view the movie... -.- but I know painkiller, and it's sequel: Overdose sucked, and I probarbly agree on whatever Yahtzee says, because he mosty is right about stuff like that

[edit] I saw it.. and YEAH! GO Yahtzee, you found yet another gem in the ocean of brown game #!$% and now I wish you had mentioned that the bosses all have unique ways to be killed and are generally hiooo-mungous but I'm a review critique.. And now for the comment critique review my post and correct my horrible spelling on some difficult words...

I think he did mention the bit about weird weapons that only work on some bosses. I'm just happy that Ben finally found a game he likes (aside from Portal, second only to Jesus (if your Christian (I'm not so Portal is numero uno))).

Also, with the bit at the start about the slow season, does this mean that you'll be giving you two cents about good examples of games that are, dare I say it,... fun?

 

[evolution144]

Another good review!

It was great to see you at Game On last Sunday Ben!

Found a video of you at http://www.fb-ks.com, scroll down a bit and you'll see "Yahtzee does Melbourne"

You look exactly like you do in your reviews hahaha

 

[ratix2]

painkillers an absolutly kick ass game, and the level design in many levels is absolutly awe inspiring (but i digress, watch the review, itll tell you all you need to know). alough im kind of shocked that he didnt mention the other 2 weapons, both of them deserve a mention. one is a chain gun and rocket launcher in one (finally, someone combines the 2 most powerful, non-bfg9000, weapons into one), and the shotgun has THE MOST complementary secondary firing mode in any game, period, by shooting a freeze shot. freeze them and what better to finish the job than the good ol' shotgun?

remember hearing about this back in 04 when a classmate brought in screenshots to out networking class of his new game. for some reason the name, and for that matter the game, stuck with me for about 2 years. after i built my first rig i picked up a copy of the black edition at compusa as soon as i found one, and i always have it installed on my computer now, granted its though steam, but still.

and if anyone hasant said it yet, i think its now only $10 over steam, so go buy it if you havent.

 

[Feragore]

After watching this review, I decided to check out the Painkiller demo and pretty much after about the first 10 minutes of launching entire forests at zombies, I was sold. Which isn't hard considering the really cheap price on Steam.

One issue I have with the game, at least in what saw in the demo, is that the Crossbow Knight guys are ridiculously hard to kill with that shield of theirs.

 

[flak_towers]

Once again a good job from the Brit down under. I particularly enjoyed seeing the Citrus Bazooka again, albeit briefly, as it brought back fond memories of laughing my arse off from his Orange Box review.
I wonder if Painkiller will run well on my antique PC?

 

[The Thief]

This review was his best in a while, considering mailbag showdown wasn't really a review. I enjoy his videos a lot more when he's reviewing something he likes; I wish he would stop reviewing overhyped mainstream games that everyone already knows everything about, even before they're out of development.

I've never heard of painkiller, and this review actually made me want to try it out. It was the same story with his psychonauts review, and I loved that game. So please Yahtzee, continue to review more overlooked and underrated gems; Mainstream games don't need any more fucking attention!

 

[Iori Branford]

So fucking reinstalled, this game.

Now to get all 440+ MB of patches, good Christ...

 

[dudedude]

lol nice review...now I need to get the game!!

 

[mcderek3000]

Did Yahtzee seriously suggest that Doom had no "find the keycard" sections?! Because, uh, I seem to recall it having keycards [http://doom.wikia.com/wiki/Keys].

As for the people suggestion Yahtzee review The World Ends With You, why would you want to do that to him? What has he ever done to you? You know he'll hate the experience. Hell, the game plays a constant stream of J-pop.

If Yahtzee were in the habit of going around and kicking people's dogs, I suppose forcing him to play The World Ends With You might be justified. (And if he's been going around kicking people's puppies, maybe even Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII!)

But otherwise, what has he done to deserve reviewing those games?

Hell, let's just give him Final Fantasy X-2 and watch him suffer.