Zero Punctuation: Pokemon White

[Primus1985]

wish we could have heard about how he felt about the plot, but ah well, shit happens.

Nintendo game...Plot??? Since when?

either A, you dident play the game, or B, you rushed though it without reading dialog. The game has a preety good story if your willing to forgive its faults.

Out of all I said, that got the most response, lol.

The story is mediocre at best, and thats being kind. Some slight changes in the bad guys motivation is about it. Their whole arguement of "People using Pokemon is wrong" is really foreshadowed by the fact they just want a Uber pokemon to rule everyone with.

Same basic Team Rocket principle, just with a more hypocrital approach.


And like I stated earlier no I wont forgive the outdated gameplay. Give me a Pokemon game where you can actually control the pokemon, on a 3D plane, and I might be interested again.

 

[Primus1985]

wish we could have heard about how he felt about the plot, but ah well, shit happens.

Nintendo game...Plot??? Since when?

Black/White decided to go beyond the simple "Team XYZ is trying to take over the world by awakening Pokemon they have no chance of controlling, leaving you to be the sole savior by somehow catching these would-be God Pokemon" and instead adopting something a bit more complex. Sure, you're still obtaining God-like Pokemon, but the purpose is because Reshiram and Zekrom were both used by the heroes who created/founded the Unova region (yes, unlike all other God Pokemon who simply create the universe then go about their way, these two were actually USED by someone else before you catch them). Team Plasma is basically the Pokemon world's PETA, and insists that we are abusing Pokemon by catching/raising them. By obtaining one of these two Heroes' Pokemon, they hope to convince (see Threaten) the world into giving up their Pokemon, leaving the pseudo-leader of Team Plasma (not the thin green-haired dude in Yahtzee's review, he's actually a pawn disguised as the leader) to be the sole user of Pokemon, and thus be able to rule the world.

Honestly, I find it hilarious how people like Yahtzee who have never picked up a Pokemon game since the first two generations are now trying to get back in to the series. I've seen a surprising number of them, and they all look at it with the same cynicism, commenting on how the formula hasn't changed in all these years.

Hey, technically Dragon Quest's formula hasn't changed in all 9 of its games, and Final Fantasy didn't really change their tune until XI, which is where a lot of people agree the true decline of the series began. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" as it were. Pokemon has seen several upgrades in it's core system over the years. True, the same "rock-paper-scissors" mechanic remains, but that mechanic is in ALL RPGs. If you see something bright red and spewing flame, whether it's in Pokemon or Dragon Age, what the fuck do you think you should hit it with? Lightning? And don't get me started on just picking a Pokemon based on its core element. Every Pokemon can learn moves outside of its core element, and most anyone who's played this series for more than three generations will agree that THAT is the only way to play this game. You pick the Pokemon you like, then you use them regardless of what your opponent tries to throw at you. With infinite-use TM's, there is literally no reason why you should have to catch Pokemon simply to beat that one gym or tackle that one tough trainer.

But maybe I'm going too far off into my own Pokemon fanaticism here. As much as I defend it, this review was quite entertaining. As I said, I've seen quite a few people trying to pick up this series, and it's always hilarious to see them nit-pick it and try to say it's not for them. Hey, you stopped at Pokemon Yellow. We all can tell this series wasn't for you then, it isn't going to be for you now, and it sure as shit won't be for you in another 15 years when they release Pokemon Chartreuse.

While the plot seems interesting, it gets old rather quick, the minor tweaks do noting to disguise the fact its still the same game from ten years ago.

Also your arguements on DragonQuest and FF are a bit off. First how many DragonQuest games even get to go outside Japan? Their market is the only one that like the same style over and over. Personally I like FFX, and FF12, hated FF 13. For me 12 was FF at its height its pinnacle, the way the series should have evolved and should have kept on evolving, but noooo they actually devolved it for 13.

Does anyone know why 13 was crap and played liek something out the dark ages? Because all the hardcore turn based RPG fans hated 12... WTF? Japan and its RPG's have never caught up to modern standards. If you look at Infinite undiscovery, Lost Oddesy, Enchanted Arms, or other console RPGs from Japan, you'll see that aside from very slightly different battle mechanics their all basically the same. No evolution.

Ironically Pokemon's problem is they have never "Evolved"(LOL pun intended) in 15 years.

 

[matt87_50]

lol! that was pretty good!

just to be fair though... pokemon is hardly a niche...

it would be like a film critic going "ugh, fine, because a couple of his fanboys keep pestering me, I guess I'll take a look at this 'Steven Spielberg' guy..."

I like pokemon. I had the most fun with gold...

there, I would have two goals:

1) train pokemon that could learn the widest range of different type's abilities (this lead to me pretty much soloing it with a dragonite in the end)

2) get pokemon that can use some form of 'sleep'!!

sleep is great, thats how I beat the level 137 corruptix I encountered in my random slightly dodgy PC emulator version!


I find the latest pokemon uninspiring... I can't get attached to them at all... just random shapes... with random abilities... I think it was better when you had the show, and the trading cards ect... could really get invested and excited in different pokemon...

 

[MonocleClaire]

There's already been a hack and slash Pokemon game (lots in fact) and it's not very popular.

Really?! Three questions, One; are they cannon? Two; where can I find them? Three; you don't mean pokepark do you? I thought that one was a mini-game game like mario party...

In any case thank you for telling me.

A) No, cannons are high-powered military weapons.

B) Your local game shop you nitwit.

D) No. I'm talking about Mystery Dungeon.

 

[Plucky]

Ironically, when Nintendo actually released a way for players to obtain Celebi semi-reliably outside of Japan* back near the end of Gen 4, they release Gen 5 anyway, where theres a chance that said new event Pokemon would have to be from distrivutions only, Meloetta doesnt even have a location ingame..meaning they're either making it distribution only, or it's actually has a location in the 3rd version. :x


*IIRC, Japan has had Celebi events for ages, had a Celebi bonus disc with their version of Pokemon Colisium whereas the American version had Jirachi instead and in the UK, didn't even get a Bonus Disc allthough we did get Jirachi in our version of Channel just because the E-Reader linkability was removed....

And even then, they had a global WiFi event for Jirachi twice to unlock the pokewalker course.... -.-"

 

[Trilliandi]

Having bought both games, along with every other one up until now, and playing them comparitively I can't help but utterly agree. Honestly, I keep playing in hopes that they somehow get better and meanwhile wonder if Gamefreak even knows what the hell they're doing anymore these days if not flicking bogies at the wall and making them into new pokemon... alright, the new pokemon were nice enough (Hey wow, took them 15 years to figure out that Fire/Dragon type makes SENSE, amazing...), but everything else is an absolute fucking mess.

The plot hasn't changed at all, the evil teams just get more and more irritating each fucking game, now introducing Team PETA... The few moments I wasn't utterly droning into the ''Ol Standby' state-of-mind when paying this thing was the few times they decided to pan out the camera. What the hell was that about? Are we showing off the DS's graphics? What, NOW?! After they just released the damned 3DS, and made FIVE other games on this damned system, NOW we're showing off what the DS can do in this game? Maybe they just think anyone outside of Japan is easily impressed by this? I was impressed alright, but not in a good way...

The bike controls keep getting worse, the shops seem to refuse to sell more and more useful items each game and it seems that the damned elemental stones they keep adding MORE fucking pokemon that NEED them will NEVER be sold again, the bike controls are just awful, for some reason they kept the fucking letters in these games this entire time as if people are using them to send someone RIGHT ACROSS FROM THEM a sentence, the bike's driving is shitty, they keep the useless HM's and even made them MORE useless and still refuse to make them into fucking TM's and be DONE with it even though they're practically the SAME in this game now but OH NO you still need them each for FIVE MINUTES, and on a different note the bike's controls REALLY just suck...

All in all a DECENT game, but it feels more like a bit of a backwards step... off a flight of stairs......leading to HELL...

 

[Jurian]

Great review, lots of great comments too.

 

[Trilliandi]

Even better, they're recycling the OLD ones...

 

[MirrorSweep]

Didn't mention the metagame, crap review.

 

[PlayingOpossum]

Serperior + Coil = dead flying squirrels. It's an art-imitating-life sort of thing. Elesa was no trouble.

Review was fun to watch; I liked seeing Pokemon get the star treatment from Yahtzee.

 

[Orinon]

Hmm that reminds me of a gym leader in Ruby and sapphire, the one that has flying pokemon but has a dragon flying type, (If you don't know they Dragon types aren't damaged by electricity)
which makes you rethink your Pokemon use, (Pro tip swap out for someone with an ice attack I guarantee it'l kill very quickly).
I play the leaf Green version in fact I have almost every Kanto Pokemon (completing the other pokedex's is just ridiculous) all I really need is a game That I used to have but it's unobtainable right now, like seriously I don't remember how but even the ones I needed fire red for a different Pokemon game has them for me.

 

[Brad Shepard]

wish we could have heard about how he felt about the plot, but ah well, shit happens.

Nintendo game...Plot??? Since when?

either A, you dident play the game, or B, you rushed though it without reading dialog. The game has a preety good story if your willing to forgive its faults.

Out of all I said, that got the most response, lol.

The story is mediocre at best, and thats being kind. Some slight changes in the bad guys motivation is about it. Their whole arguement of "People using Pokemon is wrong" is really foreshadowed by the fact they just want a Uber pokemon to rule everyone with.

Same basic Team Rocket principle, just with a more hypocrital approach.


And like I stated earlier no I wont forgive the outdated gameplay. Give me a Pokemon game where you can actually control the pokemon, on a 3D plane, and I might be interested again.

Yet at the end

Spoiler

You find out N's dad, Ghetsis. Used that as a means to his end of taking over the world, he was the mastermind behind the vail. N had no idea what his father was planing, He wanted to free Pokemon because all his father did was expose him to Abused pokemon, no human contact save for him. Ghetsis had this planed for N for the longest time. This was by far the best pokemon game in the main line thus far, bar none.

 

[Lucie]

I want to know why some people think Pokemon is a super-complex game. Raising Pokemon is complex, but when it comes to battles between similarly-raised Pokemon it's just crossing fingers and hoping the other guy doesn't send out scissors when paper is in play.

Or hope he doesn't send in a level 1 Rattata.
Tip: turn your volume down

I see your video of somebody being beaten by 6 F.E.A.R Rattatas and raise you a team of level 1s that doesn't break species clause beating level 100s.

That Snover...it must be killed...before it kills us all <.<

But seriously, that's the best video i have ever seen xD

Related, toughest trainer in the game being beaten with level 1s.

Both those video's were awesome, that Snover and Pineco... I remembered the F.E.A.R. Rattatas from a few years ago or so, no clue about these lv 1's though. So uhm yeah, I got nothing

 

[NKnight]

I wonder if he would ***** about the story if reviewing Tetris.

 

[Cronox]

Ah, Pokemon. I'll say it now, it's pretty much indefendable, much like the Metal Gear series, and really shouldn't be this popular if there was any justice in teh world. Yet I like it. I played every game up to Diamond and then it fizzled out. Perhaps not being able to make scratch enough to also buy Pearl caused somethig of the obsessive-compulsive tendencies that the franchise itself had instilled and exploited in me since childhood to crack ever so slightly or maybe the game was as drab as I remember it, but I feel pretty much done by this point. I still play the games every few years and have fun with them, but it seems taht perhaps teh unchanging nature of it all is Pokemon's strength - anytime thye hange thing's up, it is either something nice and unnoticable like making the inerface more smooth, or some useless addition like beauty contests. Oh yeah, my touch screen broke while playing Diamond so I never did win an of those minigames. Though with akll it does to add in extra fights throughout the years - adding additional rival trainers and making battles vs Team Rocket more prevelant, it seems that a departure from the traditional 8 gym then elite 4 plus champion model may be in order. I mean, Pokemon XD did that on teh Gamecube and it was pretty good. In fact it was one of the most unique games (yes it was a sequel to Colliseum, but I never really played that). No random encounters or catching pokemon, no Pokedex to fill out that requires you attend events exclusive to Japan and have all 20 games, and all the fights are double battles allowing for deeper strategy, and the main objective of teh game was actually to defeat the big bad who's brainwashing Pokemon (so you can steal his Shadow Lugia and all the other brainwashed Pokemon along the way, dmaned hypocrit). Overall, it was jsut about my favourite. And it was horribly recieved by teh fanbase. Pity, really. I wouldn't mind the handhelds switchin it up a bit.

I haven't bought these new Pokemon games. I may never will - with my ever growing pile of games I'm working through to study design philosophy, I have much more interesting game sto play. Nonetheless, I'll probably end up back with Pokemon at some point - there's just no way of getting rid of it once its sunk its hooks into your soul.

 

[Liudeius]

They kinda changed it in this one. The EXP you receive is now based on your own level comparative with your opponent's. You could fight something level 50 and get 6000 exp with a level 40, or get 1200 with a level 60. Of course, it doesn't help that they give you an experience boosting item that was pretty much the rarest item in the game in the previous gens like halfway through the game...

Oh really? I was wondering how I was exp sharing a second pokemon and still keeping my first so much stronger than the rest. Are you referring to the exp share? Or is there some mystical item that I have never heard of in 12 years of pokemon?

No, he's talking about Lucky Egg, which boosts your exp gain by 1.5x.

Wow, I have never heard of that. I've missed out on so much exp.

 

[samaugsch]

Besides, "catching them all" is no longer viable...or even the point, really. It's all about competitive play, with the advent of wi-fi in D/P/P.

Pokemon is now the middle school version of COD and Halo?

Do you know what Pokemon REALLY is?

It's secretly the deepest competitive strategy game ever.

IT HAS TIER LISTS

http://www.smogon.com/dp/articles/intro_comp_pokemon

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah... wait you aren't kidding.


Yu-Gi-Oh! has tier lists too. That doesn't really indicate anything.

Yu-Gi-Oh! is still way better than pokemon actually. I don't know why it gets so much hate while pokemon doesn't.
Also, at least Yu-Gi-Oh! DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING LAND CARDS so I don't really see why MTG gets so much more respect than it either.

Nope. Instead, it has field cards, which are a lot like land cards.

In what way? They have nothing to do with summoning.

...That's true lol. Forget I said that. >_>

 

[Semudara]

As a fan of Pokémon, I found this funny, but also completely unenlightening. Yes, some of the complaints are valid, and I certainly don't think the recent games are without their crippling faults, but the evaluation of this series' fanbase at the end was a joke and nothing more, and that describes this review pretty well. An honest-to-goodness critique on the series by Yahtzee would have been nice, and probably pretty insightful.

 

[Ddgafd]

Fuck Emolga. Fuck Double Team. Fuck Rock Tomb for having piss accuracy.

Did I mention this comment has a lot to do with the video?

 

[blacklab]

Wow, for once I completely and unequivocally agree with the Yahtzmeister.