Zero Punctuation: Remember Me

[Dfskelleton]

This little red riding hood has a bucket full of kickass?

Yeah, that's impressively bad, even for a...

Nah, now I'm imagining Duke Nukem saying it in a really awful FPS and now it's funny, in a laughing at, not laughing with way.

I think Duke Nukem's voice can make anything funny. Example:

But seriously, that's an awful line. It's a shame about the game, though. It makes me sad when someone tries to make something a little more ambitious and doesn't succeed. I felt the same way when people reacted negatively to L.A. Noire, even though I personally enjoyed the hell out of that particular game.
Still, applause for trying to do something different.

 

[equalplatinum]

I hope in the future toast lands on it's side. That way neither side gets dirty

 

[Darth_Payn]

I'm hungry for big pretzels now. Thanks for that, Yahtzee! And for ragging on this should-have-been-innovative game. And the bit at the beginning, ripping on other critics' reviews using the obvious pun, then praising the dog from the next CoD? Are you biting the hand that feeds you?

captcha: Great for Windows 7
...that it's not Windows 8! Hey-yo!

 

[FallenMessiah88]

This game does remind me somewhat of Beyond Good and Evil. As such, I'm probably going to give it a try at some point.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

One of the best ZP episodes in a long while Yahtzee, bravo.

And, as for the game itself, pretty much what I figured. Not good enough for a full price purchase, will probably be enjoyable enough to justify picking it up in a sale though.

 

[minimacker]

So, does anyone know what that twist is?

 

[Evil Smurf]

Is the twist she is fem Jason Bourne? That's good if true, because Matt Damon is bland, women are not.

 

[isaacapeltz]

This is a twisted review, Yahtzee. I'll remember it.

 

[BurningWyvern90]

One of the very rare cases where Yahtzee reviews a game that I'm on the fence about buying (usually it's either one I know I'm gonna get or already know I have no interest in) so this was a pleasant surprise for me. I'm glad to hear it was actually not all that bad, but I'm still not going to shell out sixty bucks for it.

This. I feel more justified about my 'looks cool but maybe I should wait until it's cheaper' stance on it now.

 

[KingWein22]

This little red riding hood has a bucket full of kickass?

Yeah, that's impressively bad, even for a...

Nah, now I'm imagining Duke Nukem saying it in a really awful FPS and now it's funny, in a laughing at, not laughing with way.

I think Duke Nukem's voice can make anything funny. Example:

I LOL'D at that when I first say Jon St. John doing that.

OT: Never really played it, sounds like a twisted game...

 

[Annihilist]

Anyone else get Lucozade ads before ZP? And then see "Lucozade" around 3:40? I smell product placement.

 

[VoidWanderer]

I had high hopes for this game, I really did. I bought the game, I played it for a while and kept thinking "This combat flows like a river of bricks".

The concept was brilliant, being able to mod your combos, because you DON'T ACTUALLY MAKE THEM!!! You add what buffs you want to use (health, damage, cooldown, etc) and if you manage to get the timing down, BY WATCHING THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN TO MAKE SURE YOUR TIMING IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING COMBAT, you get the effects...

I could barely be bothered finishing as much as I did (past the first boss) before thinking, 'Fuck it, this combat is too awkward'.

Others might enjoy it, but I am not one of them.

 

[The Lugz]

The incredible talking ass. I'm definitely going to remember that.

you know, it was a good idea and i really won't forget it but at the same time the early game was... well arguably bland and poor

the late game was really quite good imo, apart from the overly scripted sequences and the puzzles a two year old could solve

a better stealth system and a hacking minigame would have padded it out better


and i did exactly wahat yatzee said, my quick attacks were heals, my medium attacks were damage and the long ones were power resets

because, honestly why would you do anything else?

 

[gorfias]

I love a beautiful bum as much as the next guy but I'm embarrassed that the marketing world thinks us guys that transparent that they keep doing crap like this. Example when it is the other way around:

Silly, no?

 

[5ilver]

From what I have heard, the combo creator makes it ridiculously easy due to some of the available moves.

For the first 20% of the game, yes. Once the faster and more complicated enemies come into play though, you're pretty much required to abuse the hell out of the combo creator system (and you'll die a lot even then).

 

[Metalrocks]

i actually enjoy the game. sure it has some flaws and the controls are a bit clunky, but over all a good game with an interesting story.
and yes, remixing memories was really a good idea that should be possible with more characters instead 4 in the entire game.

 

[Ryan Hughes]

I really do hate plot "twists." Not just the ones that you see coming, but really most plot twists in general. They tend to be made by lazy writers who think: "Oh, look! I can fool the audience, I am so smart!" Kinda like those horrible "Oceans's Eleven" remakes.

One of the few people who could use twists was Alfred Hitchcock. Not because of the twist itself, but because he would literally tell you what was going to happen, and then you would still be surprised when it happened. But games writers tend to be a few steps below that of Hitchcock -to put in kindly- and think that twists equal great storytelling or something.

Basically, it is a mistake for a writer to try to put the audience in a state of awe. Just tell your damn story and develop your characters, that is all you really need.

 

[Schadrach]

I had high hopes for this game, I really did. I bought the game, I played it for a while and kept thinking "This combat flows like a river of bricks".

The concept was brilliant, being able to mod your combos, because you DON'T ACTUALLY MAKE THEM!!! You add what buffs you want to use (health, damage, cooldown, etc) and if you manage to get the timing down, BY WATCHING THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN TO MAKE SURE YOUR TIMING IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING COMBAT, you get the effects...

I could barely be bothered finishing as much as I did (past the first boss) before thinking, 'Fuck it, this combat is too awkward'.

Others might enjoy it, but I am not one of them.

I'm confused what you mean by you don't actually make the combos. You have a set of moves (a series of punches and kicks for each type of on-hit effect) and you pick which ones you want to chain together. No two -cooldown punch pressens are identical, for example. My 6-hit actually used spinning bird kick and dragon punch from the DLC in succession. They are both a bit slower than some of the other attacks available, but have a wider hit area (spinning bird kick hitting in a 360 which is why I put it where I did, as other enemies are usually closing in by the third hit of a combo and it saved me a dodge more than once).

I'd give it awkward, but you seriously don't have to look at the icons at the bottom to do combos correctly -- it's not like the timing changes each time you do it or something, instead each move has it's own timing and once you get that the icons are irrelevant. It's one of the reasons I heavily leaned on a single combo swapping out the first attack with everything else in it being chain pressens -- it makes the timing mostly consistent, and also maximizes raw output of that one thing it does.

For the first 20% of the game, yes. Once the faster and more complicated enemies come into play though, you're pretty much required to abuse the hell out of the combo creator system (and you'll die a lot even then).

There were fights where I'd switch my combos around multiple times mid fight (the 6-hit was my mainstay and all but the first attack in it was a chain-pressen so swapping my combo around from "NEED HEAL NOW!" to "COOLDOWN BAD!" was just a matter of swapping out the kick at the start). Thing did enough damage with a power pressen that most of the normal enemies died before the combo was over.

Those bastards with the damage shields though, are such bullshit. Especially since the damage shield hurts you even at range, and hits harder if you use the high damage shot that burns the entire bar.

 

[Mr. Q]

Not sure if I want to play Remember Me, but I am hungry for a soft pretzel for some reason.

And on the subject of "joking around with the title" ...

 

[Sergey Sund]

I'd speculate that the Red Riding Hood quote came from a low-level developer assistant, raised on 80s action movie one-liners, who had been waiting his entire life to get into a position where he could belt out a cheesy comeback.
Then, he had this Ocean's 11-type mission where he smuggled it into the game's code.
So, it's actually a lot sadder:
That quote represents aprox. 6 years of planning and ass-kissing.