That line about Farmer Shovelfuck bursting out of the medicine cabinet killed me. I don't know why, but I'm still in tears.
So, I have to say I really, really like the look of this game. I haven't played a horror game in many years, because most of the big and popular ones (both indie and mainstream) gravitate towards jump scares a lot of the time, which I cannot handle well if they happen all the time. Is this game better about that sort of thing?
Also, I've never played a Resident Evil game. Ever. With the series having been described as a pile of mangled octopus giblets regarding plot and structure, is this a proper reboot? I would be awfully disappointed if it turned out I had to read up on over a dozen games worth of story in order to be able to follow what's going on in this game. Can I, as a potential new player to the series, expect to be able to comprehend the events unfolding on-screen?