Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil: Revelations

[Chaos42]

well all in all i can say i feel less likely to play this. Funny review though. I still don't see why they try to push this 3d crap. Ive seen it its rubbish and most of the people i know who are into games and smart don't like it so i can only assume that the reason its still being produced and marketed is that A-lots of idots are buying it and B because idots in marketing say so.


Also this game sounds like the campus here since we can have these people who are pretending to be zombies showing up out of no were

 

[weirdee]

Well, if you're sniping with 3d on, maybe you should close one of your eyes?

Anyway, the game's pretty fun...I'm not really sure why anybody expected a coherent plot or anything. This is RESIDENT EVIL, not Shakespeare.

As for the dodge mechanic, you have to push forward right before the attack lands, which may or may not pay off if the monster is too far from you to register in your dodge zone. In the case of too far monsters, you just have to scoot out of the way normally.

 

[LooseNugget]

Your reviews make my Wednesdays tolerable and worth living through. Thanks for the laughs (and incredibly valuable insight into the games I consider buying - up to the point that you rip them a new one)

 

[Belbe]

Head desk. That's some stupid suit to fight infected monsters in for sure. I wonder if Yahtzee ever complained about Ada Wong's outfit in RE4... or her impossible flips and such?

 

[xnamkcor]

Have you ever tried looking into a sniper scope with two eyes? Doesn't work well. You're supposed to close one eye.

 

[MasterProcrastinator]

Yahtzee you MUST review The Darkness II . This series made you .

I'm afraid you're having a bit of a mix-up here; Yahtzee was forged by darkness, not 'The Darkness'.

 

[theelcaminodude]

so.... did anyone else notice yahtzee's "lips"

 

[TJF588]

Christopher Belmont

...That is all.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

Resident Evil is going from cheesy to just plain bad. It pretty much started the trend of villainous organizations doing bad shit just for the sake of doing it (though some seem to think "because we hate America/people in general/green technology" is a justifiable reason). It also has some of the lamest naming trends in Japanese-produced games (Final Fantasy still takes top billing). Veltro is the Italian name for a Grayhound which has nothing to do with anything, outside of Japan's continued effort to take every language it hears out of context.

I mean, what's your scanner called in Revelations? The "Genesis." It would make more sense for me to call my toaster oven the "Phoenix." Internet, you have no excuse not to use it.

Yahtzee's right in that it has a fairly decent control setup. Jill turns so slowly when you're walking forward that I found myself just smacking into walls and grinding my way around them. Aiming is clunky and wobbly so while I was able to hit things I rarely could hit them where I wanted. I don't know why people think RE4's control setup is such a step above the older games: you never stopped moving like a turret on wheels, and you still can't strafe in this game. Even Isaac Clarke knows how to strafe and in this day and age you have no reason not to.

And what is it with Jill jamming her arm up to the shoulder into every gorramn slimy pile of flesh she can find? Is Chris really into anal fisting? Does she not watch horror movies to know that's never, ever a good idea, or has she gotten it in her head that being a main character, she isn't going to be eaten by the giant mutant sphincter? She doesn't even wipe her hands. Imagine how she must smell.

*Sigh* Sorry. I just miss Barry. He had the best lines.

 

[Cosplay Horatio]

Is Capcom even trying anymore?! To me Resident Evil Revelations is a fun game under an asinine story.