Zero Punctuation: The Bureau: XCOM Declassified

[Skeleon]

Aw. After all the drama surrounding it, the fan-hate and the changes the developers promised etc., I was kind of hoping it would be good. Not really fitting to X-COM (neither in terms of gameplay nor in style) as that seemed out of the question, but good in its on right. Too bad.

 

[Evonisia]

Oh so it's a generic shooter a la Syndicate 2012 with just the odd reference to the original series with crap management of squadmates. Well I'm still trying to finish XCOM: Enemy Unknown so as amazing as this sounds I'll just go back on that, though the whole "Mission to Base to Mission to Base" thing of XCOM: EU puts me in a trance.

Good video, loved the increase of pace in the voice, though I think I preferred being called "Not you" to refer to an attractive person for the Expo advert.

 

[Jandau]

The only reason I'm not playing XCOM (the proper one, not The Bureau) right now is that I'm waiting for Enemy Within and starving myself so I can devour it with proper relish once it comes out...

 

[Steve the Pocket]

What, no lengthy rant about how awful the squaddie AI is? Just a token joke about sitting on a grenade? Because, seriously, based on the footage I've seen the AI seems to have been designed specifically to piss players off. You send them to a spot and they run there with a complete disregard for anything that might be shooting at them or even standing directly in their way (Noah "Spoony" Antweiller said he saw a teammate try to run through a giant alien on his way to the cover spot, and of course get instantly killed by it), and if they do manage to survive long enough to get into cover, they'll immediately get up again and run somewhere else because they have nothing but contempt for you, the mission, or the notion of self-preservation.

Or how about the fact that it's yet another game based entirely around the concept of shooting from cover and that the snap-into-cover mechanic manages to be both overzealous and too picky at the same time. Seriously, this game was practically made to have Yahtzee tear everything about it to pieces and instead he spends almost the whole video complaining about the dull story.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

I was going to get this game. But middling reviews coupled with an extremely boring Quick Look on Giant Bomb scared me away from wasting $60.

Good to hear Yahtzee hated it too. Validates the idea that I didn't really miss much.

Personally, I usually treat Yahtzee's opinion as a test prone to Type II errors but essentially immune to Type I: if he says a game is good, it's going to be great, but if he says it's terrible that doesn't prove anything.

That's pretty much my take too, most of the time. In this particular instance though, it's more that his "review" is reinforcing the opinion I'd already made.

I'll still probably get the game eventually on a Steam sale or something. I'm just not eager to bound down to the Best Buy and add it to my collection of discs I paid too much for.

 

[Astalano]

Betrayal! Betrayed me! This game suuuuucks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF_Ca45JRFs

Glad to see the conclusion of this fiasco at last.

 

[rembrandtqeinstein]

Showing my age but did anyone play [link href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-COM:_Interceptor"]XCOM Interceptor[/link]?

I'm one of the 5 people who bought and liked that game. I think the base management, mission choice, and research components were really well done. The actual flying was crappy compared to X Wing but then again nothing could ever beat that.

 

[romxxii]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is Yahtzee sounding a bit, er, regional? Normally his accent sounds like RP to me.

 

[Dr.Awkward]

I kind of liked the first rendition of this too. Perhaps if it had realigned itself where it focused more towards investigation than shooting aliens, and not turn into the squad shooter it is now, it might have been a better product.

Considering the recent announcement of Burial At Sea, it sounds like more people would be interested in a game that's focused on investigative work with a light coating of shooter elements.

 

[JenSeven]

On the topic of alien invasion, here's hoping next week is the Saints Row 4 review.

Release date for that is 9/12 in Australia. Don't bet on it.

Also the game is incredibly buggy at the moment.
I doubt it will be properly reviewed anytime soon.

 

[RaikuFA]

Saw this for $40 at Target. It's been what? Two weeks since it was released?

 

[Erttheking]

It kind of feels like 2K had poured so much money into the game that by the time the backlash happened and Enemy Unknown got released and loved that they still had to release declassified to earn their money back. I kinda see two executives from 2K talking about "Just get it out so we can break even and forget about it. Then get back to work on Enemy Within."

 

[Agayek]

It seems I am again in the minority that genuinely loves this game.

Nah, I mostly liked it too. The shooting and squad control mechanics were pretty awesome (even if the squaddie AI could use some work), and that whole thing with the Prisoner was fucking amazing. Best twist I've ever seen in a game, especially since it was reinforced by the fact that it's actually in a game.

My only real complaints with it are the frequently-suicidal squad AI and the fact that, as a prequel to Enemy Unknown (which 2k has apparently said it is), it simply doesn't work. It just doesn't fit into the lore at all, to any reasonable degree.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is Yahtzee sounding a bit, er, regional? Normally his accent sounds like RP to me.

It's probably an effect of "It's me job!".

 

[MonkeyPunch]

For some reason this episode reminded me of how good the "cartoon" is of this show. Even just the small things. Sometimes the on-screen stuff is even funnier than what Yahtzee is saying.
Oh and that includes the often hilarious end bits

 

[Matey]

I actually enjoyed Bureau. The story was weak although it had a cool twist near the end which really helped. I also fired all of the initial agents I had and made new ones that i named and tried my best to customize; they do at least chat a bit during the missions so I found it amusing. That being said... I immediately put the game on the highest difficulty settings and turned off the silly console auto aim (since I played on PC obviously) and although I died and had to reload plenty of times throughout, I did in the end beat the game without a single dead agent. I ended up with an entire roster full of max rank agents which was kinda silly. All in all it was an amusing game and I'm pretty happy I bought it since my pre-order on steam came with another copy of Enemy unknown to give to a friend as well as all the old XCOM titles (one of which I can give to a friend) and even another copy of Spec Ops (which I gave to a friend). I had my fun with the game but it sure doesn't have the replay value of the original or Enemy Unknown.

Now to hoping that Enemy Within makes the campaign more like the original! I miss feeling like the aliens are actually invading and working against me instead of just waiting around for me to come kill them and hoping I will fuck up enough times that the human race fires me.

 

[Remus]

Is it wrong that I came out of this review with the word "Emotion" ringing in my head? Emotion. Emotion, emotion, emotion!

Oh and Domino's parmesian bites are so yum! They're like pizza bread donut holes, covered in cheese and butter, with optional dipping sauce!
Boy did I go off topic. Ah well. Another game I'm not buying. It just sounds like a really bad version of Resistance Fall of Man.

 

[Zipa]

Yeah I am pleased I didn't buy this, I had heard from other sources (angryjoe) that it was shit always good to get a second opinion though. Plus at least there is an expansion coming out to Xcom: Enemy Unknown now which looks like its shaping up to be good (which Firaxis DLC usually is)

Also you should ask David Bowie about that whole having to follow Freddie Mercury on stage , because he had to at live aid.

 

[blackrave]

The only reason I'm not playing XCOM (the proper one, not The Bureau) right now is that I'm waiting for Enemy Within and starving myself so I can devour it with proper relish once it comes out...

I wish I could have your spine.
I am weak, after seeing reviews on Bureau I started Xcom again
Currently on my 3rd month and Australia has left project, those bloody cowards
I'm pretty sure Yahtzee was somehow involved in all this

 

[WhiteTigerShiro]

But wait, if they make a pizza that replaces the crust with pizza, then it still has a crust since the pizza will have a crust; and then you get stuck in this endless loop as you keep replacing the crust with a pizza.

@_@