The Order: 1886 - Steampunk Modern Warfare
This week, Zero Punctuation reviews The Order: 1886.
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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews The Order: 1886.
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Zero Punctuation: The Order: 1886 - Steampunk Modern Warfare
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
A cup of cold mung milked from the barren flaps of an elderly sexually frustrated hippo.
The single greatest sentence I have ever heard.
I am going to try and incorporate this into my next set of business cards.
The single greatest sentence I have ever heard.
I am going to try and incorporate this into my next set of business cards.
And yet, despite basic universal critical panning, it sold like crazy.
I miss the days when exclusives were more common and were an actual good thing because they let a company focus on providing a cheaper game for a more specific market rather then a hyper expensive game that has to appeal to half the population of earth just to break even.
I miss the days when exclusives were more common and were an actual good thing because they let a company focus on providing a cheaper game for a more specific market rather then a hyper expensive game that has to appeal to half the population of earth just to break even.
One of the reasons why I wanted a PS4 in the first place. Doubt it'll happen now that both games I wanted aren't even that good.
Killzone Shadows Fall ended up being 'meh', and the Order a glorified cover based shooter that ditched most things that was used during marketing.
Killzone Shadows Fall ended up being 'meh', and the Order a glorified cover based shooter that ditched most things that was used during marketing.
Wait wait wait, so now we have to contend with funkmarbleteehee?
Dear God, Triple A gaming is screwed. XD
Dear God, Triple A gaming is screwed. XD
The opening gave me terrible flashbacks of being a short-order cook, but others than that, a great review.
It has to actually take effort to iron all the fun and interesting out of a game about steampunk tech and werewolves.
It has to actually take effort to iron all the fun and interesting out of a game about steampunk tech and werewolves.
This is exactly why I now loathe my Pisspoor and Xbone... The few games with actual game play suck, and the rest are cut down sequel hook bait. Because I hooked a PS1 and PS2, slso a few dozens dozen of the best games for them. Also nearly dozen other consoles and huge libraries for them... From a neighbour who was willing to sell them and their games dirt cheap cause he wanted booze and drugs...(Sadness for today's society abounds.) I have almost no reason to even give the Pisspoor and xbone a passing glance. The Order 1886 is just insult to injury.
And two of them (including the final bloody boss) use most of the same animations.Ryallen said:
Re-using bosses in a 30 hour adventure like Zelda: SS is bad, but this is just terrible.
I have to be honest... I saw this coming from miles away. I can't be the only person who noticed that each time they released a batch of screenshots of the game, they were virtually indistinguishable from the last batch. It just had no indication of actual gameplay from the very beginning. All well, later this month I can get my hands on Bloodborn... which can't come soon enough. God knows my PS4 has been collecting dust since I got bored of Diablo 3 on there. I bought way too early.
What's that you say? This generation will be the last generation of consoles. It feels like the last generation was the last generation of consoles to me at this point.
What's that you say? This generation will be the last generation of consoles. It feels like the last generation was the last generation of consoles to me at this point.
Having watched a full playthough of this game I can't but agree with this review. It wasn't even a very good movie, just very pretty.
It does nothing new. Everything is stuff we've all seen before. Also, Sir Galahad is the dumbest protagonist ever.
It's like he's hilariously senile but still magically coherent. And he clearly has no clue about the basics of proving a conspiracy. But here's some basic tips though:
1. Don't burn all the evidence.
2. Share anything you find with people you can trust - LIKE YOUR TEAM (That way they don't have to think you're a bad guy, because you've told them what you know so they'll know when the real badguy says you're bad. In fact bring some trusted friends along - like your whole team of centuries old trained killers?)
3. When magic monster man calls for your arrest ask people to check the wound you just have him. Because no human would still be walking around after getting impaled like that.
4. If you are put on trial - offer the evidence (which you have not set fire too) as proof of your story. The supposed victims magical healing ability is also pretty good proof that he's not human (since only the knights get the magic bloodwater).
Just a few starter tips, free of charge.
And for science we all need to know some very important information regarding the development:
Who was in charge of the dick rendering?
Is it pre-rendered dick, or fully physics enabled and rendered in real time?
Seriously though, best dick I've seen in a game since Farcry 4. Probably because dicks are rare in games, outside of Skyrim modding, so I say good on you if you are a developer brave enough to free the willy. Sometimes the dick needs to flop freely.
It does nothing new. Everything is stuff we've all seen before. Also, Sir Galahad is the dumbest protagonist ever.
It's like he's hilariously senile but still magically coherent. And he clearly has no clue about the basics of proving a conspiracy. But here's some basic tips though:
1. Don't burn all the evidence.
2. Share anything you find with people you can trust - LIKE YOUR TEAM (That way they don't have to think you're a bad guy, because you've told them what you know so they'll know when the real badguy says you're bad. In fact bring some trusted friends along - like your whole team of centuries old trained killers?)
3. When magic monster man calls for your arrest ask people to check the wound you just have him. Because no human would still be walking around after getting impaled like that.
4. If you are put on trial - offer the evidence (which you have not set fire too) as proof of your story. The supposed victims magical healing ability is also pretty good proof that he's not human (since only the knights get the magic bloodwater).
Just a few starter tips, free of charge.
And for science we all need to know some very important information regarding the development:
Who was in charge of the dick rendering?
Is it pre-rendered dick, or fully physics enabled and rendered in real time?
Seriously though, best dick I've seen in a game since Farcry 4. Probably because dicks are rare in games, outside of Skyrim modding, so I say good on you if you are a developer brave enough to free the willy. Sometimes the dick needs to flop freely.
Is anyone surprised? Not that Yahtzee didn't like it, that's a given. But that The Order was crap? Did anyone truly, honestly, think otherwise? That this one single brown third-person shooter from a AAA dev would be the one to break the mold of the brown third-person shooters and save this industry?
I found his speculation after the credits that 'lycanthrope' was the PC term perfered by werewolves very amusing