Eh, IMHO they are decently bad and generic monster action films. Possibly only kept going by fans of Kate Beckinsale in that outfit.
Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched
- Thread starter Th3Ch33s3Cak3
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Nothing against Beckinsale, but I find all of the films boring aside from the 3rd movie. Rise of the Lycans is at least entertaining. The other movies are either boringly, bad, or stupid. Everything about the Underworld movies screams "You've seen better". Blade? Yes. Vampire Hunter D? Yes. The Matrix? Yes. Dog Soldiers? Yes. Even Van Helsing is better than all of the Underworld movies!
The action sucks for at least the first movie, barely better in the second, and actual between decent and good fight scenes in the third. I can't speak for the rest, but a opinions are not that high from non-fans or casual fans. Underworld movies nearly suffers from that same problem the Paul WS Anderson RE films have. Where the series keeps going, they keep fucking up with retcons, and there are more diminishing returns as the movies go on. By the time it got to the fifth movie, I am shouting "Who fuck still watches these?!". Shit, even my big bro gave up on the films after the 4th. The fact they have not followed up with a 6th film says something. Also, the "romance" is one of the worst in vampire/werewolf film history! It's almost as bad as Twilight.
Good comparison, those two movie franchises are quite similar.
Though not such a fan of Rise of the Lycans, myself.
I know the movie is love it or hate it, I'll take something that is at least trying to be entertaining over being tedious and nothing.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Someone told me that this is a 2D animation, which was why I watched it. If this is a 2D animation, the drawings are layered up with so much CG that you can't tell or can only barely tell in certain places. I did find the look more interesting than Disney's CG, where it's all so hyper-detailed that it's stuck in this awkward place between cartoon and a kind of photoreality. The graphics in this are simpler, to its benefit.
I'm really not into Spider-Man at all. Haven't watched any since those first two Sam Raimi ones, which I barely remember anyway, and I quit the PS4 game. I don't think I even regularly tuned into the cartoon series when I was a kid. Having said that, I like the story in this movie. But it has an irksome coincidence, and, as someone who doesn't watch or read Spider-Man, Gwen's spider sense leading her to Miles' school seems like bad storytelling. I'm saying that I find the spider sense to be a bad plot device, as an outsider. The three cartoonier versions of Spider-Man that show up later are dumb, because the worlds that the three main heroes inhabit aren't cartoony. Theirs are just stylized the same. It would be as if that movie The One ended with Jet Li fighting a bunch of Looney Tunes characters. Or use any of the Star Trek parallel universe episodes as examples. The anime girl and the pig were just unfunny to me, while Nicolas Cage's noir version was better. Even without the three extras, the story and the action require a lot of forced suspension of disbelief that the fans are more used to than I. I didn't expect the Letterboxd score to be 4.4/5. I'd rate it a whole point lower than that.
Liked it enough, though. Will keep it.
Someone told me that this is a 2D animation, which was why I watched it. If this is a 2D animation, the drawings are layered up with so much CG that you can't tell or can only barely tell in certain places. I did find the look more interesting than Disney's CG, where it's all so hyper-detailed that it's stuck in this awkward place between cartoon and a kind of photoreality. The graphics in this are simpler, to its benefit.
I'm really not into Spider-Man at all. Haven't watched any since those first two Sam Raimi ones, which I barely remember anyway, and I quit the PS4 game. I don't think I even regularly tuned into the cartoon series when I was a kid. Having said that, I like the story in this movie. But it has an irksome coincidence, and, as someone who doesn't watch or read Spider-Man, Gwen's spider sense leading her to Miles' school seems like bad storytelling. I'm saying that I find the spider sense to be a bad plot device, as an outsider. The three cartoonier versions of Spider-Man that show up later are dumb, because the worlds that the three main heroes inhabit aren't cartoony. Theirs are just stylized the same. It would be as if that movie The One ended with Jet Li fighting a bunch of Looney Tunes characters. Or use any of the Star Trek parallel universe episodes as examples. The anime girl and the pig were just unfunny to me, while Nicolas Cage's noir version was better. Even without the three extras, the story and the action require a lot of forced suspension of disbelief that the fans are more used to than I. I didn't expect the Letterboxd score to be 4.4/5. I'd rate it a whole point lower than that.
Liked it enough, though. Will keep it.
Army of Darkness, 7/10
This was a really fun time. Bruce Campbell continues to be an absolute mountain of charisma, and he carries the whole movie. I just love how unapologetically goofy, gleeful and downright childlike this movie gets. It reminded me of the feeling of playing with my action figures as a kid. The effects look great and it has that same old school filmmaking charm Evil Dead 2 has. The ending is also incredibly satisfying, seeing Ash as this confident badass after being the butt of jokes for like 3 movies straight.
It has its problems though. The campy tone goes a long way to mitigate for the often quite wonky writing, but not always. Like the romance element, which I was never quite sure how seriously I was supposed to take. It begins as straight up parody ("Gimme some sugar baby"), but at the end it seems the film expects the audience to genuinely care, despite there being basically nothing shown between Ash and Sheila. The scene where Ash climbs out of the pit and just tells Henry to leave is pretty nonsensical even by the movie's standards. While Campbell is an absolute riot acting wise, some of the other actors don't go nearly as camp (if at all), and the end result is a tad jarring.
The most curious thing about the whole Evil Dead trilogy is just what a bizarre progression it has as a series of films. Movie series going down in age rating isn't unheard of (Terminator, for example), but what other film series in history goes through such a drastic shift in tone and genre while retaining the same director and lead actor? This wasn't the result of studio meddling or forcing movies out of an IP, this was all Raimi's vision. I'd definitely want to watch a seamless cut of the three movies to see what this progression would feel like as a whole.
This was a really fun time. Bruce Campbell continues to be an absolute mountain of charisma, and he carries the whole movie. I just love how unapologetically goofy, gleeful and downright childlike this movie gets. It reminded me of the feeling of playing with my action figures as a kid. The effects look great and it has that same old school filmmaking charm Evil Dead 2 has. The ending is also incredibly satisfying, seeing Ash as this confident badass after being the butt of jokes for like 3 movies straight.
It has its problems though. The campy tone goes a long way to mitigate for the often quite wonky writing, but not always. Like the romance element, which I was never quite sure how seriously I was supposed to take. It begins as straight up parody ("Gimme some sugar baby"), but at the end it seems the film expects the audience to genuinely care, despite there being basically nothing shown between Ash and Sheila. The scene where Ash climbs out of the pit and just tells Henry to leave is pretty nonsensical even by the movie's standards. While Campbell is an absolute riot acting wise, some of the other actors don't go nearly as camp (if at all), and the end result is a tad jarring.
The most curious thing about the whole Evil Dead trilogy is just what a bizarre progression it has as a series of films. Movie series going down in age rating isn't unheard of (Terminator, for example), but what other film series in history goes through such a drastic shift in tone and genre while retaining the same director and lead actor? This wasn't the result of studio meddling or forcing movies out of an IP, this was all Raimi's vision. I'd definitely want to watch a seamless cut of the three movies to see what this progression would feel like as a whole.
The Lost Daughter (Netflix)
Debut film by Maggie Gyllenhaal and starring the impressively ubiquitous Olivia Colman. It is a drama about a middle-aged British American academic on holiday in Greece, who observes a child go missing from a group of other holidaymakers. She sees in the incident and the child's mother something of her own life, which draws her to introspection about her own troubled experience as a mother and her problems processing it. It is a psychological portrait of the mother, and an aching exploration of the difficult topic that some mothers do not take to parenthood well, covering perhaps also elements of depression (postnatal, if not more general depression). It is beautifully scripted, acted and directed, and a superb movie. Undoubtedly, however, not a topic for many.
Debut film by Maggie Gyllenhaal and starring the impressively ubiquitous Olivia Colman. It is a drama about a middle-aged British American academic on holiday in Greece, who observes a child go missing from a group of other holidaymakers. She sees in the incident and the child's mother something of her own life, which draws her to introspection about her own troubled experience as a mother and her problems processing it. It is a psychological portrait of the mother, and an aching exploration of the difficult topic that some mothers do not take to parenthood well, covering perhaps also elements of depression (postnatal, if not more general depression). It is beautifully scripted, acted and directed, and a superb movie. Undoubtedly, however, not a topic for many.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Racoon City
What a strange little movie. I ...did not hate it, but it also wasn't "good". This is a rare exception where I'm not sure how to even review this movie. There was a lot to like and some of it is pretty darn competent and some of it is dumb and some of it is just a waste of screen time. Its like somebody really liked Resident Evil and wanted to make a beat for beat remake on a small budget, but it also feels like the script gone mangled somewhere along the way. The movie is so full of highs and lows its almost got like a split personality. I'm gonna have to just describe the pros and cons here.
Pros
1. Really good logical setup that actually fixes the plot of the game. It starts off that Racoon City was a Flint, Michigan like popup town built around Umbrella in a non-gimmicky way. Like facilities and factories. The film starts off that Umbrella moved on simply to another tax haven so the town is slowly closing down. This gives lots of logic for it being kind of small and empty. Anyway It combines RE1&2 by saying the outbreak is happening simply because Umbrella polluted the water too much. At the exact moment that things are going sideways, the Stars Teams are sent to the Spencer Mansion to investigate facilities folks who disappeared or a dead body I forget its glossed over pretty quick. In a side story weskers been contacted by a competitor wanting someone to get into the mansion to get virus samples and giving him a warning and an exit plan because the outbreak is happening and Umbrella will be forced to demolish the town at 6am.
2. It does this cool thing where it tells you what time it is in scene transitions so you get both the tension of the characters trying to escape the outbreak and the 4th wall tension of knowing shits going down at 6am. It makes the majority of the film exhilarating.
3. The acting all really solid, The chief of police is hilarious and is actually played smartly. Hes the first charcater to figure out shits is up and to get the fuck out of dodge. Theres a really good scene of people trying to escape the city that takes heavy inspiration from Children Of Men.
4. They reenact a ton of RE scenes beautifully. The scene with the Semi-truck is awesome and the burning zombie moment is legit. The do the first mansion zombie encounter perfectly. Its practical effects and is identical to the game and look beautiful. I think RE fans will really enjoy the nostalgia.
Cons
1. Theres a completely unnecessary subplot of Claire and Chris being from the towns orphanage which is in secret a test group for Umbrella. It just does not belong at all. It really drags the movie down literally. It stops the action, its boring and pointless. It leads to nothing and feels like some producer said "Make it like Silent Hill!". Theres a strong argument to say this ruined the movies chances at getting a solid B score. Literally it makes you wanna check your phone for messages or browse reddit. It kills the tension because it takes up probably 20-30 minutes of the run time that should have been used for people being chased by zombies. I could understand if it thad a pay off but it really doesnt as far as I'm concerned.
2. Leon is a doofy twit for no reason. Theres no explanation, hes just an incompetent boob. They hint that he shot his last partner so he got demoted and sent to racoon city. Its his first day. At one point he says "I bet youre wondering how I'm a cop..yeah me to"..no punch line. They just move on. That said hes..pretty tolerable. He never makes any huge mistakes, hes just dumb and acts confused by everything. My guess is the original script had him as an audience surrogate but something got cut or lost along the way.
3. The movie constantly references RE so much it kinda trip over its own feet. The eyeball boss monster looks comically bad. It reminded me of the Live action Biobooster armor guyver movie. I think they ran out of budget at that point and had to just do goofy prosthetics. The end monster is a cheap CGI nightmare harkening back to Wedons Justice league. You can really pick out scenes where they ran out of time and money because scattered throughout the film you great looking prothetics and effects and then for example theres a scene two people are talking in the helicopter and the window is still a flat green screen picture of the forest and its painfully obvious they are on a set.
All in all, I still stuck with it. I enjoyed most of the film. Sadly it really doesn't justify its own existence. The components are vastly better that the old Resident Evil movie, but sadly its clear they ran out of time and money during production and were forced to shit out a product that needed more editing and effects.
What a strange little movie. I ...did not hate it, but it also wasn't "good". This is a rare exception where I'm not sure how to even review this movie. There was a lot to like and some of it is pretty darn competent and some of it is dumb and some of it is just a waste of screen time. Its like somebody really liked Resident Evil and wanted to make a beat for beat remake on a small budget, but it also feels like the script gone mangled somewhere along the way. The movie is so full of highs and lows its almost got like a split personality. I'm gonna have to just describe the pros and cons here.
Pros
1. Really good logical setup that actually fixes the plot of the game. It starts off that Racoon City was a Flint, Michigan like popup town built around Umbrella in a non-gimmicky way. Like facilities and factories. The film starts off that Umbrella moved on simply to another tax haven so the town is slowly closing down. This gives lots of logic for it being kind of small and empty. Anyway It combines RE1&2 by saying the outbreak is happening simply because Umbrella polluted the water too much. At the exact moment that things are going sideways, the Stars Teams are sent to the Spencer Mansion to investigate facilities folks who disappeared or a dead body I forget its glossed over pretty quick. In a side story weskers been contacted by a competitor wanting someone to get into the mansion to get virus samples and giving him a warning and an exit plan because the outbreak is happening and Umbrella will be forced to demolish the town at 6am.
2. It does this cool thing where it tells you what time it is in scene transitions so you get both the tension of the characters trying to escape the outbreak and the 4th wall tension of knowing shits going down at 6am. It makes the majority of the film exhilarating.
3. The acting all really solid, The chief of police is hilarious and is actually played smartly. Hes the first charcater to figure out shits is up and to get the fuck out of dodge. Theres a really good scene of people trying to escape the city that takes heavy inspiration from Children Of Men.
4. They reenact a ton of RE scenes beautifully. The scene with the Semi-truck is awesome and the burning zombie moment is legit. The do the first mansion zombie encounter perfectly. Its practical effects and is identical to the game and look beautiful. I think RE fans will really enjoy the nostalgia.
Cons
1. Theres a completely unnecessary subplot of Claire and Chris being from the towns orphanage which is in secret a test group for Umbrella. It just does not belong at all. It really drags the movie down literally. It stops the action, its boring and pointless. It leads to nothing and feels like some producer said "Make it like Silent Hill!". Theres a strong argument to say this ruined the movies chances at getting a solid B score. Literally it makes you wanna check your phone for messages or browse reddit. It kills the tension because it takes up probably 20-30 minutes of the run time that should have been used for people being chased by zombies. I could understand if it thad a pay off but it really doesnt as far as I'm concerned.
2. Leon is a doofy twit for no reason. Theres no explanation, hes just an incompetent boob. They hint that he shot his last partner so he got demoted and sent to racoon city. Its his first day. At one point he says "I bet youre wondering how I'm a cop..yeah me to"..no punch line. They just move on. That said hes..pretty tolerable. He never makes any huge mistakes, hes just dumb and acts confused by everything. My guess is the original script had him as an audience surrogate but something got cut or lost along the way.
3. The movie constantly references RE so much it kinda trip over its own feet. The eyeball boss monster looks comically bad. It reminded me of the Live action Biobooster armor guyver movie. I think they ran out of budget at that point and had to just do goofy prosthetics. The end monster is a cheap CGI nightmare harkening back to Wedons Justice league. You can really pick out scenes where they ran out of time and money because scattered throughout the film you great looking prothetics and effects and then for example theres a scene two people are talking in the helicopter and the window is still a flat green screen picture of the forest and its painfully obvious they are on a set.
All in all, I still stuck with it. I enjoyed most of the film. Sadly it really doesn't justify its own existence. The components are vastly better that the old Resident Evil movie, but sadly its clear they ran out of time and money during production and were forced to shit out a product that needed more editing and effects.
Andhadhun on Netflix.
An Indian movie, the only Bollywood film I've watched since Three Idiots. We follow Akash, a visually impaired pianist trying to make his way to London to master his craft when he becomes the only "witness" in a murder. ts almost completely on the opposite end of the spectrum to Three Idiots, except Andhadhun still manages to sneak in a little music and dancing. It's a harrowing, occasionally funny, and excellently acted movie. Was at the edge of my seat the whole time. Definitely recommend, was great fun with my friends.
An Indian movie, the only Bollywood film I've watched since Three Idiots. We follow Akash, a visually impaired pianist trying to make his way to London to master his craft when he becomes the only "witness" in a murder. ts almost completely on the opposite end of the spectrum to Three Idiots, except Andhadhun still manages to sneak in a little music and dancing. It's a harrowing, occasionally funny, and excellently acted movie. Was at the edge of my seat the whole time. Definitely recommend, was great fun with my friends.
Advantageous (Netflix)
Set in the near future where the job market is increasingly pushing older women out of work and into the home as they prioritise pride in youth and looks instead. A newish technology claims to be able to place older womens' minds into younger bodies to maintain competitiveness in the rat race. Here enters our protagonist mother and daughter duo just trying to live their lives avoiding the obvious plot convergence planned for them. Its rather limited budget creaks through the odd shaky CGI here and there, but the film's more interested in the drama between people than spectacle. So the acting is strong and the mood is melancholic, while everything looks slightly washed out, though maybe I accidentally sat on my TV controller colour adjustment button, who knows.
Sometimes an explosion happens in the distance - no doubt a completely different film is happening over there - hinted as actions of political "terrorist" groups in their attempts at an uprising. Unfortunately not a point that is elaborated on by the end credits, but oh well! Its rather short runtime and focus on intimate humanity means it's quite difficult to not compare it to a Black Mirror episode, despite my sincerest intentions otherwise. Overall is a respectable niche sci-fi snippet for those who aren't bothered by the focus on mournful intimacy over action, though a couple of scenes could've done with some other methods of disguising the low budget more effectively.
Set in the near future where the job market is increasingly pushing older women out of work and into the home as they prioritise pride in youth and looks instead. A newish technology claims to be able to place older womens' minds into younger bodies to maintain competitiveness in the rat race. Here enters our protagonist mother and daughter duo just trying to live their lives avoiding the obvious plot convergence planned for them. Its rather limited budget creaks through the odd shaky CGI here and there, but the film's more interested in the drama between people than spectacle. So the acting is strong and the mood is melancholic, while everything looks slightly washed out, though maybe I accidentally sat on my TV controller colour adjustment button, who knows.
Sometimes an explosion happens in the distance - no doubt a completely different film is happening over there - hinted as actions of political "terrorist" groups in their attempts at an uprising. Unfortunately not a point that is elaborated on by the end credits, but oh well! Its rather short runtime and focus on intimate humanity means it's quite difficult to not compare it to a Black Mirror episode, despite my sincerest intentions otherwise. Overall is a respectable niche sci-fi snippet for those who aren't bothered by the focus on mournful intimacy over action, though a couple of scenes could've done with some other methods of disguising the low budget more effectively.
So, like Toy Story, doing a Starship Troopers story for FFN, so it gave me the excuse to (re)watch the film series. So on that note:
-Starship Troopers (8/10)
-Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (6/10)
-Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (7/10)
Next up will be Invasion and Hero of Mars, which unlike the above three, will be the first time I've watched them.
Also, on the side, watched Batman: Under the Red Hood (5/10)
-Starship Troopers (8/10)
-Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (6/10)
-Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (7/10)
Next up will be Invasion and Hero of Mars, which unlike the above three, will be the first time I've watched them.
Also, on the side, watched Batman: Under the Red Hood (5/10)
Fist of Legend (1994)
Good remake of Fist of Fury with Bruce Lee, because it tries to do its own thing and does so competently. Does get bogged down in its peace message a little. Jet Li and choreographer Yuen Woo-ping's kung fu impressed me. The original is still better, though. The original has better fights, better photography, better music and a simpler story (to its benefit) despite being the same length. I don't remember any wire work in the original either.
The Blu-ray only has dubtitles. Had to download some mediocre fan subs.
Good remake of Fist of Fury with Bruce Lee, because it tries to do its own thing and does so competently. Does get bogged down in its peace message a little. Jet Li and choreographer Yuen Woo-ping's kung fu impressed me. The original is still better, though. The original has better fights, better photography, better music and a simpler story (to its benefit) despite being the same length. I don't remember any wire work in the original either.
The Blu-ray only has dubtitles. Had to download some mediocre fan subs.
Ford Vs Ferrari: OMG / Great
I know I've posted about this film at least two other times, but I watched it again last night for probably the 12th time, and got damn, it's a great fucking movie. It doesn't get old; I could watch it every day. It's about as close to perfect a film I've seen.: pacing, acting, story, etc., it makes superb use of the viewer's time. If you've not seen it, do yourself a favor and DO. Certainly a top 3 movie for me, but I'm a speed/racing freak and biased, but I don't think you need an appreciation of the sport to appreciate this film.
I'll post about it again when I watch it again... tonight probably. WATCH IT.
I know I've posted about this film at least two other times, but I watched it again last night for probably the 12th time, and got damn, it's a great fucking movie. It doesn't get old; I could watch it every day. It's about as close to perfect a film I've seen.: pacing, acting, story, etc., it makes superb use of the viewer's time. If you've not seen it, do yourself a favor and DO. Certainly a top 3 movie for me, but I'm a speed/racing freak and biased, but I don't think you need an appreciation of the sport to appreciate this film.
I'll post about it again when I watch it again... tonight probably. WATCH IT.
The Eternals on Disney +
I am a bit disappointed to hear that there will not be an Eternals 2. The movie has lots of problems but I liked it better than Shang Chi anyway. And they hinted at things they might do next in the post credit scenes. Which is a tall order given
And where they leave some things.
It is so weird... think of that episode of Doctor Who in which we find the moon is actually an egg about to hatch. This movie really messes with the lore of the Earth in the MCU and the worthiness of humanity to continue on at all.
If they don't do any kind of follow up, is this just a great big never mind? Will we see some of them as the after credit clips suggest? Personally, I hope so.
7/10
I am a bit disappointed to hear that there will not be an Eternals 2. The movie has lots of problems but I liked it better than Shang Chi anyway. And they hinted at things they might do next in the post credit scenes. Which is a tall order given
how many of their number die in this "1st" movie.
It is so weird... think of that episode of Doctor Who in which we find the moon is actually an egg about to hatch. This movie really messes with the lore of the Earth in the MCU and the worthiness of humanity to continue on at all.
If they don't do any kind of follow up, is this just a great big never mind? Will we see some of them as the after credit clips suggest? Personally, I hope so.
7/10
Ghostbusters: Afterlife
Well it didn't murder my childhood. It was fine, but in a sanitized in offensive cashgrab way. I looked at my phone a lot, absent mindedly played DS through some scenes. There's a part in the movie where I said to myself "they're gonna chase the ghost through town blowing up shops, catch it, but no one believe them, and they'll get grounded and then prove everyone wrong." Like I've seen this movie before or maybe it was stranger things that was an homage to the movie I saw before.
draw the movie out on a piece of paper. Just write what you think is the most generic Hollywood plot would be. Guess what? Youre right. Scene for scene. Not a single thing really surprised me.
The little kids are at least adorable and unlike 2016 they made a valiant effort to make the special effects resemble the old stuff and something closer to practical effects. Like actual fog and spectral stuff rather than all the monsters looking like half melted glow sticks.
If you were just sitting on your couch staring off into space while a little high anyway, putting this on won't hurt your buzz. That's about the most positive thing I can say about it.
Well it didn't murder my childhood. It was fine, but in a sanitized in offensive cashgrab way. I looked at my phone a lot, absent mindedly played DS through some scenes. There's a part in the movie where I said to myself "they're gonna chase the ghost through town blowing up shops, catch it, but no one believe them, and they'll get grounded and then prove everyone wrong." Like I've seen this movie before or maybe it was stranger things that was an homage to the movie I saw before.
draw the movie out on a piece of paper. Just write what you think is the most generic Hollywood plot would be. Guess what? Youre right. Scene for scene. Not a single thing really surprised me.
The little kids are at least adorable and unlike 2016 they made a valiant effort to make the special effects resemble the old stuff and something closer to practical effects. Like actual fog and spectral stuff rather than all the monsters looking like half melted glow sticks.
If you were just sitting on your couch staring off into space while a little high anyway, putting this on won't hurt your buzz. That's about the most positive thing I can say about it.
The Maltese Falcon (1941):
Honestly, I might get calls of heresy for this one, but I have to call it overrated. I can respect its historical and cultural import in more or less codifying film noir, and - per usual - Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet are a joy to watch. However, judging it just as a film rather than for its influence...well it doesn't really hold up well on its own merits. Up until the finale, most of what happens on-screen is discussion about more interesting things that maybe happened off screen, to the detriment of narrative cohesion.
Heck, in one scene a meeting between Boggart and two other characters (Lorre and Astor) is interrupted by the arrival of the police, who want a word with him. He steps out, and a few seconds later we hear Lorre yelp out a call for help, and they rush back in to find Lorre bleeding, and Astor cowering, claiming she hit him in self-defense after he attacked her. Lorre calls her a liar, says that she'd threatened to shoot him and only hit him with the butt of the pistol after he'd called for help. The two get into a bit of a scrap, and Boggart says that it can all be explained away, offering a somewhat slanted rundown of how he knows the two, with a reminder that he's got dirt on Lorre from their last encounter if Lorre wants to pursue charges. As the cops are about to take everyone away, Boggart basically goes "We got you good" and claims that it was all a joke at the cops' expense, presumably a pretense, but on the other hand, Lorre and Astor immediately start snickering as if it wasn't.
And that right there is basically how the entire movie plays out. Conversation, something happens offscreen, people talk about it but you have no idea whether the conversation even includes pertinent information, the veracity of what we saw/heard is called into question...and we get no context to make sense of it. You could start the movie at the finale and have lost very little. Mind you, the finale is easily the best part of the movie, so that's perhaps worth doing anyways.
I put this one in the same bucket as Citizen Kane: great watch if you're a film history buff or just want to say that you've seen it...but probably safe to pass otherwise.
Honestly, I might get calls of heresy for this one, but I have to call it overrated. I can respect its historical and cultural import in more or less codifying film noir, and - per usual - Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet are a joy to watch. However, judging it just as a film rather than for its influence...well it doesn't really hold up well on its own merits. Up until the finale, most of what happens on-screen is discussion about more interesting things that maybe happened off screen, to the detriment of narrative cohesion.
Heck, in one scene a meeting between Boggart and two other characters (Lorre and Astor) is interrupted by the arrival of the police, who want a word with him. He steps out, and a few seconds later we hear Lorre yelp out a call for help, and they rush back in to find Lorre bleeding, and Astor cowering, claiming she hit him in self-defense after he attacked her. Lorre calls her a liar, says that she'd threatened to shoot him and only hit him with the butt of the pistol after he'd called for help. The two get into a bit of a scrap, and Boggart says that it can all be explained away, offering a somewhat slanted rundown of how he knows the two, with a reminder that he's got dirt on Lorre from their last encounter if Lorre wants to pursue charges. As the cops are about to take everyone away, Boggart basically goes "We got you good" and claims that it was all a joke at the cops' expense, presumably a pretense, but on the other hand, Lorre and Astor immediately start snickering as if it wasn't.
And that right there is basically how the entire movie plays out. Conversation, something happens offscreen, people talk about it but you have no idea whether the conversation even includes pertinent information, the veracity of what we saw/heard is called into question...and we get no context to make sense of it. You could start the movie at the finale and have lost very little. Mind you, the finale is easily the best part of the movie, so that's perhaps worth doing anyways.
I put this one in the same bucket as Citizen Kane: great watch if you're a film history buff or just want to say that you've seen it...but probably safe to pass otherwise.
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The Last Duel (HBO-Max).
I didn't want to see this as it was supposedly about Feminism. While there is some in there, it is only to the extent that everyone should care about humanity. Yes, Marguerite lives among brutal men. It's a brutal world in 1380.
I also thought this would be boring. It isn't.
It is told Rashoman style. 3 perspectives of people telling the same story of 2 men, their friendship, conflicts, a wife and
The film is gorgeous. The last duel itself is supposedly the last, government sanctioned, judicial duel in the Western world with G-d deciding who is telling the truth.
Just a solid film. I wish I had seen it in the theater.
EDIT: Made $30 million world wide. I don't like the one line description at Box Office Mojo, " King Charles VI declares that Knight Jean de Carrouges settle his dispute with his squire by challenging him to a duel." The "squire" isn't the Knight's and isn't what one thinks of a squire. He isn't a subordinate to the Knight. He is powerful in his own right. The line makes it sound like a powerful person picking on a less powerful person which in this story, is not the case.
I didn't want to see this as it was supposedly about Feminism. While there is some in there, it is only to the extent that everyone should care about humanity. Yes, Marguerite lives among brutal men. It's a brutal world in 1380.
I also thought this would be boring. It isn't.
It is told Rashoman style. 3 perspectives of people telling the same story of 2 men, their friendship, conflicts, a wife and
of a sex act that may have/did/was actually rape, that occurs.
The film is gorgeous. The last duel itself is supposedly the last, government sanctioned, judicial duel in the Western world with G-d deciding who is telling the truth.
Just a solid film. I wish I had seen it in the theater.
EDIT: Made $30 million world wide. I don't like the one line description at Box Office Mojo, " King Charles VI declares that Knight Jean de Carrouges settle his dispute with his squire by challenging him to a duel." The "squire" isn't the Knight's and isn't what one thinks of a squire. He isn't a subordinate to the Knight. He is powerful in his own right. The line makes it sound like a powerful person picking on a less powerful person which in this story, is not the case.
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Lord of the Rings (1978), 4/10
Watching this the same day that I finished the best looking animated show ever might have been a mistake in retrospect. Because oh boy, this thing has aged poorly: the animation, the music, the fight scenes, the pacing, the editing, just about everything is done poorly here. Beyond being a time capsule and a curiosity this has next to nothing to offer besides unintentional comedy. While watching it I constantly was thinking "I wish I was watching Arcane or Peter Jackson's trilogy right now".
Whenever there's any sort of group scene (ie. any characters besides the main ones on screen), the visual look turns from okay (if blatantly rotoscoped) to borderline deep fried meme/instagram filter "animation", and every time it's jarring beyond words. And it looks so. god. damn. cheap. The Orcs look like dudes wearing raggedy clothes and Halloween masks. Helm's Deep has like maybe a dozen dudes on the walls. Gandalf's heroic rescue features a whole six guys on horses. This kind of thing is rampant through the whole movie and it's never not funny.
There's hardly ever any sense of location or geography: you're shown an establishing shot, maybe two, and then it's just disconnected shots after another. The editing is legitimately hilarious at points, like when they arrive in Lothlorien. The story skips huge chunks with just voiceover. The opening looks hilariously cheesy and cheap. The music is spectacularly unceremonious, and it in tandem with the jumbled editing and rushed pacing makes this supposedly world-spanning conflict feel stunningly small scale. And it ends incredibly abruptly to boot, being unironically almost "Poochie returned to his home planet" level.
I usually go for a bit more detail on these, but here there's no point: you can just point at PJ's trilogy for just about everything and say they did it better. The interesting parts are where they differ. I actually found Aragorn more engaging and human than his PJ counterpart. Mortensen's portrayal is iconic, but a bit morose and glum. Aragorn in this is way more expressive and boisterous. Gandalf is more entertaining as well, but for the wrong reasons: he's a huge asshole and drama queen, and it's hilarious. Even when he's falling down with the Balrog he's still insulting the party. When he appears to the orc hunting trio he goes out of his way to do a whole "look at meee" dramatic pose. He's actually closer to the "Bored of the Rings" version of the character than the source material, and I find that funny as fuck.
Another difference between this and PJ's version that I can give the faintest amount of praise are the establishing shots, which make this version of Middle-Earth seem much more fantastical and otherworldly. The Dead Marshes aren't just a marsh, they're a borderline rainforest full of dead trees and overgrown vegetation. The mountains around Mordor seem to be built of gargantuan skeletons, like something you'd see on a power metal album cover. Whenever one of those popped up the movie suddenly came alive for me as I marveled at the beautiful illustrations.
Watching this the same day that I finished the best looking animated show ever might have been a mistake in retrospect. Because oh boy, this thing has aged poorly: the animation, the music, the fight scenes, the pacing, the editing, just about everything is done poorly here. Beyond being a time capsule and a curiosity this has next to nothing to offer besides unintentional comedy. While watching it I constantly was thinking "I wish I was watching Arcane or Peter Jackson's trilogy right now".
Whenever there's any sort of group scene (ie. any characters besides the main ones on screen), the visual look turns from okay (if blatantly rotoscoped) to borderline deep fried meme/instagram filter "animation", and every time it's jarring beyond words. And it looks so. god. damn. cheap. The Orcs look like dudes wearing raggedy clothes and Halloween masks. Helm's Deep has like maybe a dozen dudes on the walls. Gandalf's heroic rescue features a whole six guys on horses. This kind of thing is rampant through the whole movie and it's never not funny.
There's hardly ever any sense of location or geography: you're shown an establishing shot, maybe two, and then it's just disconnected shots after another. The editing is legitimately hilarious at points, like when they arrive in Lothlorien. The story skips huge chunks with just voiceover. The opening looks hilariously cheesy and cheap. The music is spectacularly unceremonious, and it in tandem with the jumbled editing and rushed pacing makes this supposedly world-spanning conflict feel stunningly small scale. And it ends incredibly abruptly to boot, being unironically almost "Poochie returned to his home planet" level.
I usually go for a bit more detail on these, but here there's no point: you can just point at PJ's trilogy for just about everything and say they did it better. The interesting parts are where they differ. I actually found Aragorn more engaging and human than his PJ counterpart. Mortensen's portrayal is iconic, but a bit morose and glum. Aragorn in this is way more expressive and boisterous. Gandalf is more entertaining as well, but for the wrong reasons: he's a huge asshole and drama queen, and it's hilarious. Even when he's falling down with the Balrog he's still insulting the party. When he appears to the orc hunting trio he goes out of his way to do a whole "look at meee" dramatic pose. He's actually closer to the "Bored of the Rings" version of the character than the source material, and I find that funny as fuck.
Another difference between this and PJ's version that I can give the faintest amount of praise are the establishing shots, which make this version of Middle-Earth seem much more fantastical and otherworldly. The Dead Marshes aren't just a marsh, they're a borderline rainforest full of dead trees and overgrown vegetation. The mountains around Mordor seem to be built of gargantuan skeletons, like something you'd see on a power metal album cover. Whenever one of those popped up the movie suddenly came alive for me as I marveled at the beautiful illustrations.
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The Tender Bar
A memoir in which nothing much happens. The movie didn't clue me in at all why it was worth making, nor why the book was worth writing. It's a coming-of-age story in which nothing ever really stands in the way of its protagonist. He wants to get into Yale, he gets in first try. He wants a job, he gets one at The New York Times first try. He wants to date the pretty girl, he scores first try. So he's traumatized by an absent father, and I guess the big climax is telling his pa to go fuck himself. Power to him. Is that it? Not like you didn't grow up with lots of friends and a huge extended family that supported you and regaled you with cliché Kodak moments every step of the way.
Nothing is ever an issue. The mother gets sick, then gets better within the same voiceover narration. The uncle gets sick - he's out of it in the next scene. Time skips ahead, even grandpa Christopher Lloyd is still around. Again: nothing is ever an issue. JR Moehringer's two big achievements in his memoir are telling pa to go fuck himself and getting over an on-and-off gf who is just not that into him. Some fucking boss fight. As he's riding into the sunset to Steely Dan's "Do It Again" on the free Cadilllac his poor uncle just gave him, victoriously VO'ing about how he's decided to be a writer, I kept thinking: who the fuck does this guy think he is?
A memoir in which nothing much happens. The movie didn't clue me in at all why it was worth making, nor why the book was worth writing. It's a coming-of-age story in which nothing ever really stands in the way of its protagonist. He wants to get into Yale, he gets in first try. He wants a job, he gets one at The New York Times first try. He wants to date the pretty girl, he scores first try. So he's traumatized by an absent father, and I guess the big climax is telling his pa to go fuck himself. Power to him. Is that it? Not like you didn't grow up with lots of friends and a huge extended family that supported you and regaled you with cliché Kodak moments every step of the way.
Nothing is ever an issue. The mother gets sick, then gets better within the same voiceover narration. The uncle gets sick - he's out of it in the next scene. Time skips ahead, even grandpa Christopher Lloyd is still around. Again: nothing is ever an issue. JR Moehringer's two big achievements in his memoir are telling pa to go fuck himself and getting over an on-and-off gf who is just not that into him. Some fucking boss fight. As he's riding into the sunset to Steely Dan's "Do It Again" on the free Cadilllac his poor uncle just gave him, victoriously VO'ing about how he's decided to be a writer, I kept thinking: who the fuck does this guy think he is?
- Feb 7, 2011
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- 3 children in a trench coat
Starship Troopers 3 isn't a great movie, but it does have 1 absolutely fantastic line.
When Rico sees the giant war robots for the first time and comments that they're ugly and gets told "they weren't built to do pretty things."