Post some godawful video game character designs

[Meximagician]

Everyone knows about bad box art Mega Man, but what about MS-DOS Mega Man?

Spoiler: This was officially licensed by Capcom

By the way, that green thing in the last, migraine-test-of-a screenshot? That's an enemy that is too short to shoot at properly, a recurring problem in-game.

Also the cover is just a poorly traced version of the US Mega Man 3 box art.

 

[Chimpzy]

Sometimes, I find myself trying to explain to people why they should go back and play Planescape Torment and why it's one of the best games ever made.. and then I remember..

View attachment 7903

To immediately preempt, I think the basic concept of this look is fine, and the vast majority of fan artists seem to be able to keep it intact while fixing the problems. This is about execution, and also whatever the fuck was going on with aesthetics in the 90s comic and fantasy art scene.

Like, all I can imagine is some 90s guy sitting there thinking "Fuck boob window, that shit's pedestrian, we need the belly button window."

Admittedly, most of these are vastly more horrible. This one just really bothers me because the game is so good.

Not a video game design, but if you 'love' the belly button window, you'll got absolutely nuts over the crotch window (pussy porthole?)

The heart shape is definitely a choice. Also, that lady in the SS uniform, cuz you know, Japan.

 

[Absent]

Can't cope with these upper teeth. Can someone explain this mouth ? Are the teeth supposed to be attached to something or is it a dropped denture ? Or are they all the close and far side lower teeth with none on the upper jaws ? What was the graphist's intent ?

Has been driving me mad for years.

 

[Eacaraxe]

Sometimes, I find myself trying to explain to people why they should go back and play Planescape Torment and why it's one of the best games ever made.. and then I remember..

...that regardless of her philosophy and alignment Grace is still a succubus, and that's downright arch-conservative for one of those?

 

[BrawlMan]

Spoiler: Eva (Oneechanbara 2 & Origin)

How does she get anything done in that outfit?!

 

[Terminal Blue]

...that regardless of her philosophy and alignment Grace is still a succubus, and that's downright arch-conservative for one of those?

That's Annah, not Grace. Grace is a complete subversion of the normal depiction of a D&D succubus, because again.. I don't know if I said it enough but that game was actually kind of good.



Think about it. Grace has a charisma of 19. She's a demon created from the essence of pure chaos and evil to prey on the desires of mortals. She elicits those same desires in people no matter how much she tries not to, a fact which is pointed out to her multiple times. The central conflict that defines her character is that she can fight what she is but she cannot change it (or maybe she can.. oh my god it's like the possibility of personal change or redemption is a recurring theme or something and video game stories can actually have themes if the games are actually good).

All of which becomes quite dodgy when you realise that Chris Avellone, who wrote much of Grace's dialogue, is currently attempting to sue multiple women who have accused him of sexual harassment despite previously apologizing to some of them for sexually harassing them. But hey, apparently the video game industry has decided that everyone responsible for the things I love needs to be a creep.

Anyway, I was hoping I'd preempted this, but the problem isn't that Annah's outfit is revealing but how it tries to be revealing. It's not even the most revealing outfit in that game, and yet I didn't pick on the others because they don't have the same problem.

It's the product of a sensibility which was common at the time but retrospectively extremely cringey. It's overdesigned. It's trying too hard. It's full of unecessary details and improbable features which make no sense, add nothing in terms of characterization or actively detract from it by being out of place in this character's circumstances, but which are also totally extreme and radical.

 

[Chimpzy]

This shitnugget

 

[meiam]

This shitnugget

No using Oblivion character, that's cheating. iirc there's a character that's rumoured to be especially beautiful in the game, but when you meet her, she look like every shoveled face in the game. There's also a cult of ugly people, except they're no uglier than anyone...


I just played it so its fresh in my mind, there's this council who each have stupid hat, and one of them as a giant circle hat thingy that goes behind him, I cannot imagine having to wear that, can he even turn his head?



Similarly mass effect andromeda main villain as a derptastic face with a loop on it, would have been hillarious if during one of his interminable monologue you'd just see a basketball being thrown in his loop with the main character going "Wooo 3 points!"

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

This shitnugget

If I had a nickel for every time the Adoring Fan has been blasted off of a mountain, I'd have a whole mess of nickels.

Similarly mass effect andromeda main villain as a derptastic face with a loop on it, would have been hillarious if during one of his interminable monologue you'd just see a basketball being thrown in his loop with the main character going "Wooo 3 points!"

View attachment 7922

...how is that even evolutionarily beneficial?

 

[XsjadoBlaydette]

This shitnugget

Getting some real specific vibes off that expression.

 

[Gordon_4]

If I had a nickel for every time the Adoring Fan has been blasted off of a mountain, I'd have a whole mess of nickels.


...how is that even evolutionarily beneficial?

Might be a holdover from something. Could also be deliberate genetic engineering.

Either way it’s terrible.

 

[Terminal Blue]

...how is that even evolutionarily beneficial?

Clearly it's a built-in antenna.

The Kett relied heavily on the ability to pick up pirate radio signals to acquire the smooth jazz they needed in order to reproduce. Unfortunately, due to a cataclysmic event known only as the 'touch of the dial' they became permanently tuned to a Slovenian station that only plays 90s and early 2000s dance music. After attempting desperately to have sex to Zombie Nation by Kernkraft 400, they gave up and decided to just start genetically engineering other species instead.

That is the face of someone who has heard Rhythm is a Dancer 14 times today. He lives only in hope of the sweet embrace of death.

 

[Drathnoxis]

My go to in these threads is usually Seymour from FFX, but everyone knows that one already I'm sure and I can't think of anything else at the moment.

The enemies didn't fare much better.

...honestly I think it looks cool.

Can't cope with these upper teeth. Can someone explain this mouth ? Are the teeth supposed to be attached to something or is it a dropped denture ? Or are they all the close and far side lower teeth with none on the upper jaws ? What was the graphist's intent ?

Has been driving me mad for years.

He has multiple rows of teeth. Like a shark.

Spoiler: Eva (Oneechanbara 2 & Origin)

How does she get anything done in that outfit?!

Depends on what she's doing.

 

[BrawlMan]

Any of the primary characters from Clive Barker's Clive Barker's Jericho (by Clive Barker).

...honestly I think it looks cool.

I can see where Rouge Wolf is coming from. Somewhat ok looking, but bleeds into the grey background, even with the red/orange highlights. Plus, too much overcompensating in trying to be 90s edge while being in the mid 2000s.

Depends on what she's doing.

You don't need an outfit like that to manipulate an insecure and vulnerable teenage girl to murder her older sister and father. If I were Saki or if I saw Eva like that, she's might as well kill me on the spot, because teenage me would be laughing too hard to take any of that seriously, threatening, or sexy. I would say, "Trying to win the Detroit's tackiest streetwalker award?! Cuz you would definitely take first place!"

Dumb trivia about the character: it never comes up in the game proper, but in the wiki and character profiles, Eva has a daughter we never see. Nor do we learn of her name, nor any of the other characters and protags involved. The only hint of this in the cut-scene after beating Eva and she clutches her pendant before getting her heart ripped out and shot in the head by Rei! Oh, that poor orphan girl...

 

[Worgen]

FFX Lulu. Just, what is she wearing? The top half is fine, but the bottom becomes belts, its like a half dress with belts.

 

[Gordon_4]

Any high level character in World of Warcraft who had various 'Best in Slot' gear before Cataclysm introduced transmogrification.

 

[Baffle]

Any high level character in World of Warcraft who had various 'Best in Slot' gear before Cataclysm introduced transmogrification.

Wearing a house brick glued to a menorah to protect my shoulders.

 

[Terminal Blue]

How does she get anything done in that outfit?!

What absolutely kills me are the fucking nipple circles.

I feel like there's a golden rule of fetish clothing. Any situation in which it would be acceptable to wear fetish clothing (which most of these "sexy" outfits are), it would also be acceptable to be naked. Thus, fetish clothing should be sexier than being naked. If it's not, it's not a good look.

This isn't a good look.

 

[Drathnoxis]

What absolutely kills me are the fucking nipple circles.

I feel like there's a golden rule of fetish clothing. Any situation in which it would be acceptable to wear fetish clothing (which most of these "sexy" outfits are), it would also be acceptable to be naked. Thus, fetish clothing should be sexier than being naked. If it's not, it's not a good look.

This isn't a good look.

But that qualification is highly dependent on whether the clothing is your fetish. I'm sure to someone who's fetish is woman wearing caution tape with bullseyes on their nipples, that character is probably the sexiest thing ever.

You don't need an outfit like that to manipulate an insecure and vulnerable teenage girl to murder her older sister and father. If I were Saki or if I saw Eva like that, she's might as well kill me on the spot, because teenage me would be laughing too hard to take any of that seriously, threatening, or sexy. I would say, "Trying to win the Detroit's tackiest streetwalker award?! Cuz you would definitely take first place!"

I was more thinking along the lines of pole dancing, or causing a distraction, but there you go, she could get something done.

 

[Casual Shinji]

FFX Lulu. Just, what is she wearing? The top half is fine, but the bottom becomes belts, its like a half dress with belts.

Even the top half... Lady, you're living in a tropical beach community, why the fuck are you wearing fur?!