No you don't, that's obviously fallacious.
And even if you did, non-binary people have been around for decades. Your personal incredulity does not determine the nature of reality.
It's not my incredulity I leveraged to make my point. It's social clout and tradition. Like in Thailand you have ladyboys there, it's a "thing", so sure it can be. But here, it isn't.
The world is full of animals who live solitary lives and yet reproduce. Reproduction is actually one of the easiest parts of social life, so easy that you don't need to be a social animal to do it. You don't even need a central nervous system in order to do it. In fact, the capacity for abstract thought, language and social identity seems to make it harder to reproduce, not easier. There are countless evolutionary advantages to being a complex, intelligent social animal. The ability to reproduce isn't one of them.
Dude, we're not tigers (apologies to the furries out there), we're apes, apes are social creatures. Also, I am willing to say that this social element is precisely why we managed to achieve so much progress and came to dominate all other life forms on this planet, so I'd expect some gratitude towards the thing that made our lives into those of people and not of animals. Even the most asocial human (I know cause that's me!
) is still orders of magnitude more wired for social interaction than a tiger who only mates once or twice a year and lives in the forests of india by itself.
Okay, so to try and explain it again. Identity and emotion are different things. I'm not sure where you get the idea that anyone thinks otherwise. Emotions are gendered because the society we live in is deeply irrational and everything in it is gendered, but that relates more to the expectations placed on people than the reality of their emotional states.
I may surprise you, but america is a lot less gendered than where I grew up. In the Greek tongue even words are gendered, so a lot of inanimate things like stairs or socks or what have you are also male or female or neutral (we have a neutral, yes, so this is by default what you classify things that don't belong in male or female at, it's not some chaotic soup of confusion lol).
Now, because it's an issue close to my heart, I could point out that some people do have personality or identity disorders which means they lack a stable sense of identity, and for those people their identity might be heavily affected by their mood. Those people have very hard lives and deserve to be treated with respect, because they're still human beings like you even if they work a little differently sometimes.
But for me, no. My moods do not determine my identity. Furthermore, far from being constantly in flux, my identity is actually just as stable as yours. I am not a man one day and then a woman the next, I am always non-binary. Sometimes I feel like I want to be seen as more masculine (as more like a man, not as a man) and sometimes I want to be seen as more feminine (as more like a woman) and I might express myself accordingly in order to be seen as such. But this isn't determined by my moods, it's mostly determined by how much I am experiencing gender dysphoria, because I do have gender dysphoria and while I don't subscribe to the idea that you can only be trans or non-binary if you have gender dysphoria, it's a big part of why I am the way I am.
We all have an internalized sense of who we are and how we would like others to see us. That's what identity ultimately is. It's not the same thing as your mood, although it can certainly make you very unhappy if the way you see yourself doesn't match up with the way others see you.
Yep, this is the part I don't get, so I'll just say props to you but I'm just confused XD.
Again, I don't accept that being feminine, or even having a demure and ladylike persona (which I don't think is quite the same thing) is the same as feeling happy, or sad, or any other emotion. I think in large part masculinity and femininity are aesthetics, it's about what you look like. It's also about the position you occupy in a gendered society, the dynamics of your relationships with other people, which are not always heterosexual dynamics between men and women.
Yeah that's why I said "or whatever it is you have in mind" cause I'm sure my romantic ideals are too old-fashioned for you. Though I think you can incorporate ANY look into one of masculinity or femininity, it's not like this one look is default feminine. I think you just choose to interpret it as such, but another person may feel the exact opposite. Like for example, I have long ass metal hair, but to me that is just cool and old school epic, not feminine at all. To someone else I can see how having hair like mine may be them trying to be more ladylike or something, but I just don't see it that way. So at the end of the day it still boils down to how you feel about the gendered nature of certain traits, and it's a deeply personal thing. Not something you can externalize to other people and expect them to, at a glance, grasp and respect. Like I had people ask me if my hair is some type of traditional native american thing, and I don't get offended, I'm like "no, it's native european!" and they seem confused, but it's literally true. XD
I am not a trans woman. There was a time in my life when I very much wanted to be a woman, but I am not that person and haven't been for decades. If I want to be feminine, it's not because I want to be a woman and it's certainly not because I want to live out your fantasies about demure straight women. I am literally none of those things, and I don't find them to be aspirational.
Oh boy, ok so I have to word this in a very precise way. I think you are an inherently very rational and thoughtful person, so you recognized reality. Other people I think fail to do what you did, and just focus on really really wanting to be what they're not instead of being introspective and figuring out how to be ok with what they truly are. I don't think that's something worth respecting, but I also don't know how to ascertain if that is truly the case or not.
