Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[Thaluikhain]

Fair point. I had the idea that they'd lower the coffin down, and the weight of the body would push up the false bottom on a sort of hinge, and then the weight of the body would push the false bottom shut again, but the hinge would have to be able to slide under the body as well for that to work. Huh. Guess I'll just chalk that up to something to not think too hard about.

I know it's not even the most far-fetched thing even in this one film, but that part always gets me thinking. I guess it's because I know a compressed air pellet won't make people swell up and explode, and that magnets will pull over things to your watch, and your watch towards other things. But the coffin...maybe there's some really clever or brilliantly simple way of getting it to work?

 

[Absent]

I know it's not even the most far-fetched thing even in this one film, but that part always gets me thinking. I guess it's because I know a compressed air pellet won't make people swell up and explode, and that magnets will pull over things to your watch, and your watch towards other things. But the coffin...maybe there's some really clever or brilliantly simple way of getting it to work?

I have no problem with that. I can imagine the body pushing up, releasing the jaws of a scooping mechanism on springs. Or anything.

What's odd in that movie, and novel, is that vague fu-manchu-chinatown feel that a whole population is the accomplice of a criminal kingpin. In this case, all the participants in the funeral are playing pretend, while the caretakers go fetch the (non-bleeding) corpse ?

It's odd, a bit otherizing (the strange uncanny outer culture and its mysterious ways), but... it still makes a very nice surreal, dream-like, nightmarish, oppressive and funny sequence (as, to be fair, colonial fictions often provide - racism works, "seduces", because it's narratively pleasant). It's almost buñuel-like. And sets up the "white civilized christians versus too-close-for-comfort african culture" subtext of all voodoo-is-satanic fictions.

So, a hauntingly beautiul, functional, vaguely racist scene, which most dubious part is the crowd on mr big's payroll, acting for the benefit of no public at all. I don't see the music hall magical casket as a technical issue. It just, well, depends on the victim not to die arms stretched (or maybe there was a christian procession waiting as a back-up ?).

 

[Thaluikhain]

Yeah, while it's rather racist, well, racist tropes are often used because they are useful despite being racist, not because of it.

And yeah, the coffin bit is a little thing to hang up on, but still. There's one or two things I get hung up on in the next with are very minor as well.

 

[Absent]

Yeah, while it's rather racist, well, racist tropes are often used because they are useful despite being racist, not because of it.

"Useful" for entertainment. They are enjoyable : we revel in them, nowadays, in the mostly detoxified realms of scifi and fantasy, where we can pit our righteous heroes against species of scheming barbarians and nefarious cultures. We used to find the same thrill "on earth", when the barely comprehensible, menacing and irrational "others" were our nightmarish perceptions of neighbouring cultures. There's a heroic poetry to these settings, they do structure some flattering, comfy, thrilling tales. We only used to think (and some still do) that these settings are planet Earth.

The more we know about each others, the less we can project ourselves in such roles, settings and adventures. We lose this self-indulgent naivety. We can find it by transposing it to universes of weird deterministic creatures. Or by experiencing the odd king kong, indiana jones, james bond, fu manchu, rin tin tin with some self-aware starship-trooper-like distanciation. Snapping back to the real world afterwards, and laughing at their cultural context of production.

Hollywood voodoo, for instance, is charming - it's a hidden menace, like a weirdly widespread demonic cult, with a beautiful imagery, and some remnants of pagan gods and superstitions that are depicted as simultaneously fake and magically efficient. It's of course completely nauseating, as the depiction of something actually existing, and a deliberately demonizing depiction because that thing was a political threat to us christian slavers. It's efficiently beautiful propaganda. We have to appreciate its beauty, even enjoy it, while dissociating its discourse from anything real. But its beauty did reside in the most criminal forms of racism - treating a different religious system as evil collective witchcraft in order to justify oppression, capitalizing on the fact that we love to feel there's some evil collective witchcraft threatening us out there. It's the very pitch of all these delightful horror movies.

Our lovecraftian string, which we like to play from time to time.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Sniper: Rogue Mission

Hey, they made another straight to DVD Sniper film, the 9th in the series. None of that rebooting after 3 films thing.

Oh, it starts out with human traffickers brutally murdering a bunch of sex slaves because they are about to be raided. This is going to be grim.

And then it turns into a comedy. Sorta. I get the feeling that it was going to be played deadly serious, cause some parts are really gritty, and there's good fight choreography, but then they stuck comedy music and silly bits on top at the last moment.

Boo. Boo! I don't ask much from this series, and they could have gotten it right, but they ruined it.

 

[BrawlMan]

Sniper: Rogue Mission

Hey, they made another straight to DVD Sniper film, the 9th in the series. None of that rebooting after 3 films thing.

Oh, it starts out with human traffickers brutally murdering a bunch of sex slaves because they are about to be raided. This is going to be grim.

And then it turns into a comedy. Sorta. I get the feeling that it was going to be played deadly serious, cause some parts are really gritty, and there's good fight choreography, but then they stuck comedy music and silly bits on top at the last moment.

Boo. Boo! I don't ask much from this series, and they could have gotten it right, but they ruined it.

I've only ever seen the first 3 film. I've never touched any of the sequels.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I've only ever seen the first 3 film. I've never touched any of the sequels.

For low budget straight to DVD stuff they are quite decent, IMHO.

 

[BrawlMan]

For low budget straight to DVD stuff they are quite decent, IMHO.

Good to know, but I was never much of a hyper fan of the good ones. I know they're not bad movies, yet I never gravitated towards them like I did with other theatrical action films that went straight to VHS or DVD. I will keep what you said in mind, in case I get curious.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Good to know, but I was never much of a hyper fan of the good ones. I know they're not bad movies, yet I never gravitated towards them like I did with other theatrical action films that went straight to VHS or DVD. I will keep what you said in mind, in case I get curious.

Well, it helps if you've seen the first two on TV, them come across the first six in a box set for pretty cheap. And then every so often there's a buy 2, get 1 free sale, and there's 2 films you want and you're looking for a third and there's a sniper film. I get a lot of DVDs that way.

 

[BrawlMan]

Suckerpunch

I remember there being a lively internet discussion on whether it was a subversive feminist masterpiece, or really, really not (it's really obviously not).

Moviebob was one of the most vocal defenders of this movie at the time.

Forgotten how painfully boring it is. Take away the gratuitous sleaze and Snyder has some good use of colour and that's it. There's nothing else to the film.

I downloaded the movie once a few months after release. I immediately deleted the torrent and never wanted to watch it again.

 

[BrawlMan]

Well, it helps if you've seen the first two on TV, them come across the first six in a box set for pretty cheap. And then every so often there's a buy 2, get 1 free sale, and there's 2 films you want and you're looking for a third and there's a sniper film. I get a lot of DVDs that way.

You won't believe how many media stores or Wal-Marts have the Sniper movies in some type of 6-pack multipack sale. It's almost as if they're trying to give these away for nearly free.

 

[Absent]

You won't believe how many media stores or Wal-Marts have the Sniper movies in some type of 6-pack multipack sale. It's almost as if they're trying to give these away for nearly free.

It's, like, permanently on TV, around here...

 

[BrawlMan]

It's, like, permanently on TV, around here...

We get that too in Michigan. Usually it's the way later installments they air on The Bounce channel.

 

[BrawlMan]

D&D: Honor Among Thieves. This film is extremely Dungeons and Dragons, and I really quite enjoyed it. Not too serious and better than LOTR. I really liked Chris Pine's coat.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, 7/10

The recent fantasy comedy adventure about a misfit gang of adventurers coming together for a heist, with all sorts of twists and turns along the way.

Mouthful of a title aside, I enjoyed this very much. It perfectly captures the genuine essence of tabletop DnD, with all the hijinks and fuck-ups it involves. The cast is basically perfect, with Hugh Grant stealing the show as the deliciously charming yet slimy ruler. But that doesn't mean the rest are slouches either: Chris Pine gets to flex his comedic chops for once, and he's great. Michelle Rodriguez and Sophia Lillis provide a perfect deadpan counterbalance to the comedy. It's got a good sense of humor, good chemistry between the actors, great variety in locations and setpieces (at times bordering on overstuffed) and some nicely creative action scenes. And definitely plenty of inside jokes and references that tabletop aficionados like myself will pick up on.

My perspective is obviously biased being a DnD player, but there's not really a lot I'd criticize it on. The stuff I would is mostly inconsequential: the CG isn't the best in the world, but the animation's great and it captures the spirit of things. The wonky CG is used for one very funny gag which I won't spoil, but got one of the biggest laughs out of the audience in the screening I was at. The opening backstory is definitely too long, and was played fairly straight which I didn't feel jelled with the rest of the movie all that well. I'd heard some people criticize its length, but for me there was never a dull or stretched moment, the pacing felt pretty great to me.

It's ultimately a pretty straightforward and insubstantial movie. The music and cinematography are nothing to write home about, and the themes are your very typical gang of misfits, found family type stuff. It's not gonna change your world, but it's not aiming to. What it sets out to do it succeeds very well at, with clear setup for a possible franchise, which I pray gets off the ground for once. The last decent big fantasy movie franchise we had was probably Pirates of the Caribbean, and even that lost steam quickly after they made Jack Sparrow the main character. Here they've got a great core cast and dynamic, solid writing, and a literal universe of possibilities for future stories and character development.

Just saw the Dungeons and Dragons Honnor Among Thieves movie and i can honestly say that it was a great time. The movie wont blow anyway away with awesomeness, but it's funny, lighthearted, and absolutely enjoyable start to finish. I enjoyed every minute of the movie and was really surprised consider these kinds of films dont have a great track record. But it's really awesome and I would easily recommend it to anyone and it's a must watch if you play DnD.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: Fun / Great

Really fun movie. I've never played D&D, so not sure how closely it adheres to the spirit of the game, but man, this film was entertaining. At first, the constant MCU-esque snark was kinda grating, but when I realized that's what the movie was going for without being attached to a half dozen other movies I've not seen, it grew on me. I'm really glad I got the membership to Cinemark; going to the movies is fun again!

If you've never played DnD its easy to miss, but the constant snark is very much on point for a DnD campaign, its really hard to keep those serious and the flow of a campaign (people occasionally messing up stuff they should be really good at while at other time getting success they really shouldn't be able to get) lend itself naturally to this kind of humor.

I saw the movie and I love it! S-Rank film making and comedy right there! I'm not a D&D fan, but I've seen reruns of the 80s cartoon as a kid, and saw both the first crappy live-action movie, and the decent/okay straight to DVD movie. I barely remember the latter though. Along with the comedy, writing, and characters, Honor Among Thieves action is excellent looking, tightly edited, and highly choreographed. I love the stand alone nature and that anyone can watch without being a hardcore fan of the tabletop game, or other adaptions.

 

[Phoenixmgs]

Ghosted - 7/10



Starring Ana de Armas, Chris Evans, and Adrien Brody. It's a pretty fun romp that's a romantic action comedy with better action pieces than it has any right to be having. The 2 leads work really well and Brody pays a great sleazy villain and basically just reprising his role from Poker Face. There's a short and fun cameo thrown in as well. I included the movie poster because it looks like a super lame straight-to-DVD/streaming poster you'd expect from a shit movie with no stars or some has been stars. Nothing too much to say about a movie like this, you know exactly how it's gonna play out (outside of maybe the beginning minor twist if you didn't know beforehand), and it's a solid way to waste 2 hours.

If you wanna see Ana de Armas shooting a bunch of baddies in an evening dress set to Uptown Funk, this is the movie for you.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Guardians of the Galaxy 3

The movie manages to be both super conventional yet incredibly weird in how it gets there. No, I don't know why the movie is about Rocket Raccoon. Maybe this was covered in the Christmas special, which I imagine is where they got the psychic Russian dog as well. But yes, the movie is about Rocket Raccoon. It's about him spending the whole movie mostly dead, and while Chris Pratt et al go on a series of fetch quests to save him, we're treated to flashbacks of him and a bunch of deformed animal buddies in a cage that are meant to be cute and sad but man I couldn't get over how mawkish and ridiculous everything looked. And boy they try so hard. I swear to God every flashback always ends with the same critter smiling and wistfully saying, "It's Great To Have Friends". This happens at least three times. This writing is on par with Ron Burgundy laughing and as he laughs saying reflexively "We're Laughing", but it's meant to be endearing instead of funny.

Credit where it's due, the villain is hateful as fuck, and isn't being controlled by an evil sword or an evil stone or an evil book or anything like that. He's just a POS. He's also annoying and I got tired of his screaming 45 minutes before the movie ended (when I checked my phone, because the movie is way longer than it needs to be).

Adam Warlock is in it, a little bit. I'm not sure who he is or what his powers are, but he's in this, on and off.

I dunno. Why is the big finale of GotG about saving the CGI sidekick/comic relief? This is like if Rise of Skywalker were about saving Chewbacca or R2-D2 and fetishistically referring to their sadsack backstory.

The death fakeo-outs are insane. It's like Oprah walked into the writers room and starting shrieking He gets a fakeout! He gets a fakeout! And he gets a fakeout!

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

Guardians of the Galaxy 3

The movie manages to be both super conventional yet incredibly weird in how it gets there. No, I don't know why the movie is about Rocket Raccoon. Maybe this was covered in the Christmas special, which I imagine is where they got the psychic Russian dog as well. But yes, the movie is about Rocket Raccoon. It's about him spending the whole movie mostly dead, and while Chris Pratt et al go on a series of fetch quests to save him, we're treated to flashbacks of him and a bunch of deformed animal buddies in a cage that are meant to be cute and sad but man I couldn't get over how mawkish and ridiculous everything looked. And boy they try so hard. I swear to God every flashback always ends with the same critter smiling and wistfully saying, "It's Great To Have Friends". This happens at least three times. This writing is on par with Ron Burgundy laughing and as he laughs saying reflexively "We're Laughing", but it's meant to be endearing instead of funny.

Credit where it's due, the villain is hateful as fuck, and isn't being controlled by an evil sword or an evil stone or an evil book or anything like that. He's just a POS. He's also annoying and I got tired of his screaming 45 minutes before the movie ended (when I checked my phone, because the movie is way longer than it needs to be).

Adam Warlock is in it, a little bit. I'm not sure who he is or what his powers are, but he's in this, on and off.

I dunno. Why is the big finale of GotG about saving the CGI sidekick/comic relief? This is like if Rise of Skywalker were about saving Chewbacca or R2-D2 and fetishistically referring to their sadsack backstory.

The death fakeo-outs are insane. It's like Oprah walked into the writers room and starting shrieking He gets a fakeout! He gets a fakeout! And he gets a fakeout!

Wait, I thought this wasn't coming out for another year or so.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Wait, I thought this wasn't coming out for another year or so.

I believe they're releasing it Friday.

 

[Bartholen]

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, special extended edition in a theater. 10/10

Duh, it's LOTR. I'd only seen Fellowship in theaters once a couple of years ago, and jumped at the chance to see all three in their extended forms in theaters. I'm starting to think that these are actually the greatest films ever made. Not my #1 favorite, nor the best, but overall in terms of cinematic and technical achievement, quality, and execution of its vision, I honestly struggle to think something that could measure up to them. This is genuinely lightning in a bottle, within another bottle that's made of lightning. Fellowship has the greatest fantasy adventure sequence of any film ever (Moria), the best death scene of any film ever (Boromir), the best overall sense of adventure of any film ever, it's just jaw-dropping all around. These are genuinely an entirely different experience in a theater, since the sound and scale get to truly shine. Some of the tracking shots still make me think "how the fuck did they do that?" Having seen these films probably a good two dozen times I can nitpick things like the CG characters used in certain wide shots looking extremely video gamey these days, or how Frodo's chronic falling over feels comical once you pick up on it, but these are mere pebbles thrown at the 80 ft. high solid rock wall that is this movie.

 

[Gordon_4]

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, special extended edition in a theater. 10/10

Duh, it's LOTR. I'd only seen Fellowship in theaters once a couple of years ago, and jumped at the chance to see all three in their extended forms in theaters. I'm starting to think that these are actually the greatest films ever made. Not my #1 favorite, nor the best, but overall in terms of cinematic and technical achievement, quality, and execution of its vision, I honestly struggle to think something that could measure up to them. This is genuinely lightning in a bottle, within another bottle that's made of lightning. Fellowship has the greatest fantasy adventure sequence of any film ever (Moria), the best death scene of any film ever (Boromir), the best overall sense of adventure of any film ever, it's just jaw-dropping all around. These are genuinely an entirely different experience in a theater, since the sound and scale get to truly shine. Some of the tracking shots still make me think "how the fuck did they do that?" Having seen these films probably a good two dozen times I can nitpick things like the CG characters used in certain wide shots looking extremely video gamey these days, or how Frodo's chronic falling over feels comical once you pick up on it, but these are mere pebbles thrown at the 80 ft. high solid rock wall that is this movie.

Man, watching that movie just makes all emotional. I know he wasn’t a perfect representation of Boromir, but fuck me if Sean Bean didn’t just act the fuck out of that last stand.


My man.