The “WTF?!” Thread

Absent

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"Fearful"? Fucking "Fearful"?? What scientist did they manage to smuggle out of which chronic anxiety clinic for this bullshit spin?
They were clearly too scared to admit they were afraid.
 
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Eacaraxe

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It is tales such as these that I both adore for their hilarity, and also keep as sober reminders that few of my work problems, if any, will ever get remotely this bad.

If I had a hat, I’d tip it to you and the rest of the mad bastards you work with.
Well, if you want sober, we can talk about Amazon's hiring and retention practices, and how they reflect the company's increasing applicant woes over time. Now, before I start, I want to make clear I'm all for not judging people for their history and actually progressive practices, but what Amazon does is...not that. It's wage suppression and labor exploitation, full stop. That, I can't or won't abide.

I mentioned the convict labor and camperforce, but that's far from the end of the story. Our site for years targeted methadone clinics and shelters for hiring...as in hiring posters and signs would be up in them, and Amazon would send recruiters there.

At least for my site, in 2015 we started getting massive waves of visa workers. What's more, is one could track with shocking accuracy which countries and regions are facing the worst social and economic issues, by who's being brought in waves from where.

From 2015-2017 it was primarily Hispanic employees, mostly from Cuba, Honduras, Venezuela, Guatemala, Columbia, Peru, and Bolivia. Then, from 2017-2019 (when I quit the first time) it was MENA people: Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Afghanistan, Yemen, Sudan, Libya, Ethiopia, and Somalia. While I was gone, it transitioned to Africans and Afro-Caribbean folks: Uganda, Kenya, Rwanda, Mozambique, DRC, Haiti, pretty much any country in western Africa.

During Covid, Amazon's scab pipeline was forcefully shut down on account of travel restrictions and visa program moratoriums. You'll note this is the one and only time in Amazon's history waged workers got large shift differentials, quarterly bonuses, annual wage increases, and of course, hazard pay while enjoying eased productivity quotas and benefits package increases. The differentials, bonuses, and hazard pay all ended simultaneously first quarter of 2021 -- the same time the Biden admin sunset the work visa ban, and when travel restrictions ended -- and labor importation started again in Q2.

Oh, and in the past year, Amazon's stopped importing African and Afro-Caribbean labor. Now it's eastern Europeans, primarily Ukrainians. Which brings me to what's going on:

Amazon recruits abroad in refugee camps. The recruit, assign the workers a location, pay for travel costs, and help with the documentation and get the EAD expedited. Then they're imported and, well, made to work for Amazon. But of course, should you quit or get terminated (which Amazon loves to do) you're completely on your own which means, since you likely don't speak English at all or are barely conversant at best, in a foreign country with high living expenses, you're pretty well fucked assuming you aren't deported at first opportunity.

It's legal human trafficking at best, indentured servitude at worst. Made all the worse for the fact Amazon does not adequately support these workers once they're here, and effectively blackballs them from development or advancement unless they have some form of documented post-secondary education equivalent, and are fluent in English. If you're a supervisor like I was, you'll be working with employees who speak a half-dozen different languages, none of which are English, and the best you get is Google translate on your work laptop (salaried managers, and only salaried managers, get Pocketalk devices).

The closest thing we get to interpreters onsite are volunteers who do the job for no additional pay, not even a differential. Management won't even consider bringing in professional interpreters, or internally promote employees who take the courses and get the certifications to be interpreters.

The "funny" WTF part of this, opposed to "morally outrageous" WTF, is Amazon can't even retain refugees. They get here, figure out they've been scammed into a dead-end job with no external prospects that doesn't even pay enough for them to live here, and save up enough to quit and go back.

All of this is to keep from having to pay workers an additional $2 per hour, which is what would bring us up to competitive wages in retail. That in itself is another layer of scam: Amazon internally considers itself retail, even though it's an e-commerce business and what we do is actually logistics, which means it compares its wages to retail workers rather than warehouse workers. It pays about $2 below average for most retail work in our area, because Amazon hasn't kept pace with wage growth since Covid and instead talks big game about its (bullshit) benefits package which brings "total compensation" up to "industry-leader".

Most warehouses around here are climate-controlled and offer good health, dental, and vision packages...without having to go through Amazon-owned and -contracted health clinics first, thanks. And they pay enough for workers to not have to go through Amazon-owned and -contracted finance advisors to "tighten the belt" through unlivable wages. And they have hours, work-life balance, and stress-free enough workplaces their workers don't need Amazon-owned and -contracted mental health crisis services, up to and including suicide-prevention hotlines.

Just about the only thing Amazon doesn't do, is outright pay workers in scrip...and they're dipping their toes in that, offloading compensation in the form of "vendor bucks", "e-swag" to buy Amazon-branded clothing and other oddities through an internal store, and with their ridiculous safety shoe scam.
 
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Absent

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So. Ig-nobel prizes. Let's see.


Chemistry and geology : a study on the old and trusted practice of licking/tasting rocks in geology since the 18th century (Abby Howard wasn't kidding).

Litterature : a study on the effects of repeating a word until it ceases to sound familiar.

Engineering : a study in necrobiotics, specfically about repurposing dead tarentulas' legs as robot parts

Public health : smart toilets, analysing feces in real time and identifying the shitter through anus recognition algorithms.

Medecine : a study of the nasal hair of cadavers (on average, 120 hair in the left nostril and 112 in the right one)

Physics : a study on the effect of anchovies' sexual activity on the mixing of oceanic water (negligible)



Why don't we have that in our videogames' research trees ?
 

The Rogue Wolf

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Litterature : a study on the effects of repeating a word until it ceases to sound familiar.

Engineering : a study in necrobiotics, specfically about repurposing dead tarentulas' legs as robot parts
The first one could provide insight into how the brain functions, and the second one could advance small-scale robotics.

But of course, they should all be out curing cancer.
 

Absent

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The first one could provide insight into how the brain functions, and the second one could advance small-scale robotics.

But of course, they should all be out curing cancer.
To be honest, I'm all for expansion of human knowledge in every direction, and I consider none of it futile, no matter how silly the research sounds (or is often playfully self-described, self-framed or self-titled).
 

Eacaraxe

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But of course, they should all be out curing cancer.
...and get their funding rescinded on behalf of the pharmaceutical and medical device industries, whose profit interest lies in anything but curing cancer?
 

Absent

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...and get their funding rescinded on behalf of the pharmaceutical and medical device industries, whose profit interest lies in anything but curing cancer?
I really doubt that kind of recurring "they are terrified of medecine working because they'd have no job" theories.

Anyway, one conspiracy theory I absolutely support :








Yes yes, yes yes yes.
 

Eacaraxe

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I really doubt that kind of recurring "they are terrified of medecine working because they'd have no job" theories.
I'm not suggesting there's already been a cure for cancer discovered which is being suppressed or some shit. I'm suggesting there's less profit in curing cancer than treating it, and therefore fiscal interest (and influence) lies with the latter. And consequently, no money for research on cures.

That's as much "theory" as third-world CIA coups. By that I mean it's a practice in which the financial, pharmaceutical, medical device, and insurance industries engage freely, and are more than happy to admit because they know they'll get away with it. The point-of-no-return for denialism in this, came straight from Goldman Sachs five years ago: the corporation explicitly warned against investing in gene therapy research, because curative medicine doesn't provide for "sustainable" business whilst palliative medicine does.

That's not conspiracy, it's basic economics under late capitalism.
 
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Summerstorm

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I tried to read that... Just made it through half or so. Just... what did the AI do in this? "Human and AI did blablabla" God i hate business-marketing bullshit.

The AI did nothing, they just have an image-altering procedure. What does this have to do with the taste of the year 3000? Man... hollow bullshit. I was expecting something like: Our AI scoured through the 50 years of big-data aggregates of our taste-tests and combined it with medical histories and social media accounts of our taste-testers and build a set of ultimate flavours or some shit.
 
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The Rogue Wolf

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Baffle

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What ?
Uh. No.
What ?
This feels like Guardian nonsense to me? I have to use Roman numerals fairly often and I STILL don't think about the Roman empire, like at all. Will check with my male friends to find out whether they're fucking weirdos.
 

Absent

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I STILL don't think about the Roman empire, like at all. Will check with my male friends to find out whether they're fucking weirdos.
Or whether YOU'RE the one. :p

Done in Sweden? Was pretty obvious that it wasn't in the US, because you'd have every guy saying they think about "The Old West".
On the other hand, it could have been done about Vikings or about Spartans, and with the same untold implications. Not that these results aren't odd already (even if biased, as I doubt a lot of people spontaneously report the boring answers), but they would be less meaningless if compared to other stuff and contextualized a bit.

But anyway. Romans ? The Great Rip Off Empire ? Pft. Didn't even get the gods' names right.
 
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Zykon TheLich

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This feels like Guardian nonsense to me? I have to use Roman numerals fairly often and I STILL don't think about the Roman empire, like at all. Will check with my male friends to find out whether they're fucking weirdos.
I mean, it does seem be a very, very jokey "article".
 

Baffle

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I mean, it does seem be a very, very jokey "article".
I think it sort of is and isn't. The premise seems obviously stupid to me, but it feels a bit like they're poking fun at the trad lunatics who all have statues and shit as their profile images. And absolutely poke fun at those guys, but this feels kinda like saying we're all like that. TBF, I do throughly dislike the Guardian and may be somewhat oversensitive to what I perceive at its terrible hypocrisy.
 
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Zykon TheLich

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I think it sort of is and isn't. The premise seems obviously stupid to me, but it feels a bit like they're poking fun at the trad lunatics who all have statues and shit as their profile images. And absolutely poke fun at those guys, but this feels kinda like saying we're all like that. TBF, I do throughly dislike the Guardian and may be somewhat oversensitive to what I perceive at its terrible hypocrisy.
I felt it was a bit more jokey than that. It feels like they're poking fun at the whole thing.

It is the newspaper that I feel Gwyneth Paltrow would read.

Edit: I say whole thing, I have know idea if this is a thing, whole or not. I stopped paying attention to most of the world a long time ago, escapist threads are my primary source of news
 

Thaluikhain

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I think Buzzfeed is also going on about how much everyone likes Rome, so it's not just the Guardian. Not saying Buzzfeed is a great journalistic source or anything.
 
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