Hm hm... my personal brand of misery is (apparently mild, i would say medium) depression + procrastination disorder (webbed with slight social anxiety apparently.)
I was given fluoxetine (prozac). The beginning weeks were fine (after i was nearing a mental break in the first days of taking it), but after a while i just felt constantly slightly ill and detached and just quickly fell back into my non-moving ways ONLY that i was higher-energy restless non-doing things and dreading everything. Felt terrible.
Man, i should really get my energy back on track and start therapy again (And start doing more drugs) - would be the better choice, but it's funny how my apparent sickness is lodged in my nature... and my nature is that i need to be miserable and have problems doing something about it. Mental "unwellness" is fun...
@Piscian How do drugs run out? (Country: United States) Ah, i see... sorry, man. Reasons to not have the drugs that work: Doctor want to try different drug for better effect, you decide to stop, a better alternative is found. Everything else should be unacceptable.
Oh well basically you get busy at work and forget to refill your meds over and over like an asshole.
I try not to evaluate other peoples journey. You know like tell people what they should do for their mental health. I have a kind of long and storied history with anti-psychotics, SSRIs, "stabilizers". Been in and out of psych wards a few times for early childhood stuff. Nothing scary, just lived that Oliver twist lifestyle. Just things that take a toll on a young mind.
My perception of the mental health industry is that it's a science yes, but only in so far as they know, based on trials and statistics, that some ingested compounds change the chemical make up in the brain. They don't actual know exactly how and why. They don't really understand the origin of guilt and sadness. It's all speculation. Solid guessimates like our confidence in the skin color of velociraptors. You pair this with therapists who are not perfect people and see their role as basically "help more than hurt", and it at times doesn't feel all that more qualified than a nice evening with gramma eating cookies or just getting high once a week.
You'll constantly hear professionals talk about "trying out" combinations of medication and it's a far fucking cry from amoxicillin vs meloxicam. They always say "we want to just figure out what helps you.". They don't have an MRI that tells them "your receptors reacted negatively to prozac because you have this genome". I'm not saying what they do isn't scientific, but compared to the rest of modern medicine, it's pretty archaic. It's studies groups and lab testing above rick that thinks you should try shrooms.
Again, though hey whatever helps helps. I absolutely support people who are happier on zoloft or prozac etc. However, for me. NON on most of it. I'm flightly, I get depressed, I get excited. Somedays I think life is fantastic, some days I wish I was dead.
All SSRIs ever did for me is make me feel like that scene from fight club
For me its the difference between feeling sad and alive, and waking up feeling like a used condom everyday. Doctors dont know why and just suggest "we try something else, adjust your levels"
I finally settled on Buspirone, weirdly because I have intense and I mean intense fear of flying. Like I need to be pulled onto a plane legs first. While going a few rounds with my doctor trying to get the hard drugs, and explaining that
He finally dug up Buspirone. Its apparently an old timey housewife med from the 50s that while still widely used, isn't as popular (possibly because its not corporate owned) as SSRis because it does nothing for your state of mind. All it does is kinda tone down the brain noise. It's almost like weed except it doesn't get you high. It's like a small pillow over anxiety.
That said, recreational weed is legal in my state as of this morning. While I'm not a meme from half-baked I'm seriously thinking about driving to michigan to stock up on a couple 100 miligrams of eatables and maybe binge watching "Changeling" on apple+ and "see what helps me".