Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[thebobmaster]

A ★½ review of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

“Mother, you’re alive!” “Too bad you..will die!” This film had a bit of a troubled production. Most of the cast didn't return to this sequel, despite the original movie clearly setting up for it, and that includes the director, Paul Anderson. Instead, the cinematographer from that movie, John R...

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I don't like saying films are "so bad, it's good". BUT...

 

[Casual Shinji]

Pop quiz, hotshot. What do you get when you take a series known for terrible sequels, then rush a sequel through production in order to maintain the rights to the series?

A ½ review of Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)

“We are the light in the darkness, and paths to higher sensations.” This film was basically made because Miramax Films realized "Oh, shit, we're going to lose the rights if we don't make a movie," and rushed this to production. As a result, Doug Bradley didn't return to play Pinhead, making this...

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Sony?

 

[Gordon_4]

Sony?

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★ review of The Lion King (2019)

"Have mercy." "Mercy? For what you did?" This film generally follows the same plot as the original. The heir to the lion king throne, Simba (JD McCrary as a cub, Donald Glover as an adult) is looking forward to the day he becomes king. His uncle Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor), not so much, since he was...

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[Piscian]

kingdom of the planet of the apes



The short is - Its fine. 7/10

Long answer - Story wise is about what you think. Bad guy does a bad thing, young hero goes on an adventure, makes "surprising" friends along the way, fights bad guy and saves the day.

Its not quite a yawner, there are some minor twists that setup a trilogy (because everything is a trilogy now), but yeah its fairly precedural even including a setup at the beginning that pays off in the final fight.

That said the big twist is cool and theres hints at it that are just opaque enough that I didn't question it beyond a quizzical expression until the reveal.

The script definitely wouldn't be accused of being ai written, the homework was turned in properly they had the stones to setup a "shit the bad guy right" moment.

So what didn't I like? Well three things really.

* Nobody really chews scenery. Theres no standout. I remember. The main character and villains name..and I just left the theater. None of the apes really have screen presence of Caesar, Koba or Maurice. Nor does the lone human character provide anything for audiences to latch on to. They replace Maurice with an overly talkative orangutan that just kinda got on my nerves. Really made me miss Maurice quietly contemplative scenes.


* There was no "Big Moment" thats movie memorable. You remember that scene in War when woody harrelson repels down that waterfall and they have slow motion moment where he locks eyes with Caeser and its ooooooh snap. Nothing really here. In general the movie lacks Matt Reeves camera work where he uses deep black shadows and weather to create a heighten tension like in Batman 2022. This doesn't look "bad" its just filmed blandly in comparison.

* I actually yawned more than a couple times in the middle when I was just kinda waiting for the movie to get where it was going. This one of those "heroes journey" movies. Its runs a real knives edge of being tiresome. I think part of the problem is that we really have seen this before. Im not pins and needles waiting on a sequel. Very much "whatever".

One thing I will say is that Im nominally a big theater action movie guy. If it feels like its something I should see in theaters Im more app to go than most people. I just didn't feel rewarded this time. If youve got a decent setup this can wait for home viewing.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★½ review of Lady and the Tramp (2019)

“Every day could be an adventure.” This film follows Lady (voiced by Tessa Thompson) as she lives her life as a pampered dog owned by Jim Dear (Thomas Mann) and Darling (Kiersey Clemons), while being friends with Trusty (Sam Elliott) and Jock (Ashley Jensen). After an incident with Aunt Sarah's...

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[Casual Shinji]

kingdom of the planet of the apes

View attachment 11152

The short is - Its fine. 7/10

Long answer - Story wise is about what you think. Bad guy does a bad thing, young hero goes on an adventure, makes "surprising" friends along the way, fights bad guy and saves the day.

Its not quite a yawner, there are some minor twists that setup a trilogy (because everything is a trilogy now), but yeah its fairly precedural even including a setup at the beginning that pays off in the final fight.

That said the big twist is cool and theres hints at it that are just opaque enough that I didn't question it beyond a quizzical expression until the reveal.

The script definitely wouldn't be accused of being ai written, the homework was turned in properly they had the stones to setup a "shit the bad guy right" moment.

So what didn't I like? Well three things really.

* Nobody really chews scenery. Theres no standout. I remember. The main character and villains name..and I just left the theater. None of the apes really have screen presence of Caesar, Koba or Maurice. Nor does the lone human character provide anything for audiences to latch on to. They replace Maurice with an overly talkative orangutan that just kinda got on my nerves. Really made me miss Maurice quietly contemplative scenes.


* There was no "Big Moment" thats movie memorable. You remember that scene in War when woody harrelson repels down that waterfall and they have slow motion moment where he locks eyes with Caeser and its ooooooh snap. Nothing really here. In general the movie lacks Matt Reeves camera work where he uses deep black shadows and weather to create a heighten tension like in Batman 2022. This doesn't look "bad" its just filmed blandly in comparison.

* I actually yawned more than a couple times in the middle when I was just kinda waiting for the movie to get where it was going. This one of those "heroes journey" movies. Its runs a real knives edge of being tiresome. I think part of the problem is that we really have seen this before. Im not pins and needles waiting on a sequel. Very much "whatever".

One thing I will say is that Im nominally a big theater action movie guy. If it feels like its something I should see in theaters Im more app to go than most people. I just didn't feel rewarded this time. If youve got a decent setup this can wait for home viewing.

So one thing in the footage I've seen thus far kinda irked me, but maybe there's actually context given to it in the film; Why does the main human girl look so NOT like she's been living in squalor? It's like she walked off the set of a CW show with how immaculately pretty she looks. I know she talks and how that's unheard of for humans in this world, so maybe she's from a bunker or something, or are they actually going to follow up on that little space reference from Rise?

 

[Thaluikhain]

So one thing in the footage I've seen thus far kinda irked me, but maybe there's actually context given to it in the film; Why does the main human girl look so NOT like she's been living in squalor? It's like she walked of the set of a CW show with how immaculately pretty she looks.

Um...is this in any way unusual for female characters in big budget movies?

 

[Casual Shinji]

Um...is this in any way unusual for female characters in big budget movies?

No, but considering the humans in the previous two movies looked appropriately grubby due to their living conditions - which still retained some slivers of modern convenience - it just kinda sticks out here. It's giving me flashbacks to the Time Burton movie.

 

[Kyrian007]

No, but considering the humans in the previous two movies looked appropriately grubby due to their living conditions - which still retained some slivers of modern convenience - it just kinda sticks out here. It's giving me flashbacks to the Time Burton movie.

(edited, because I hadn't ever heard it called that, but I eventually got it.) But does seem like a great idea. A time travel movie by Tim Burton... Without prior IP to go on and monkeys... I'd see it.

 

[Thaluikhain]

No, but considering the humans in the previous two movies looked appropriately grubby due to their living conditions - which still retained some slivers of modern convenience - it just kinda sticks out here. It's giving me flashbacks to the Time Burton movie.

Ah, ok, if it's an outlier in the franchise, that's odd.

Normally, I'm reminded of how Milla Jovovich in the first Resident Evil movie had to have makeup to cover scrapes and bruises she got crawling around while filming the first Resident Evil movie.

 

[Piscian]

So one thing in the footage I've seen thus far kinda irked me, but maybe there's actually context given to it in the film; Why does the main human girl look so NOT like she's been living in squalor? It's like she walked off the set of a CW show with how immaculately pretty she looks. I know she talks and how that's unheard of for humans in this world, so maybe she's from a bunker or something, or are they actually going to follow up on that little space reference from Rise?

Without spoilers, yeah its explained. Shes not from the devolved human tribes.

Also this does not appear to take place in San Francisco. They probably hint in the film, but they never outright tell you the location. I was kinda scratching my head on that one.

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

Trash Humpers (2009)

Harmony Korine filming himself, his wife and two buddies of theirs commiting acts of minor vandalism on the outskirts of Nashville, Tennessee on a camcorder while wearing old people masks. Occasionally, there's bits and pieces if mostly meaningless and almost definitely improvised dialogue from various people they pulled off the street and gave 50 bucks, I imagine. Ah, the cinema.

Shot on video, Korine originally intended to "release" this movie to the public by hiding video tapes of it at random flea markets. A person who would have bought it under these circumstances would have most likely assumed it to be a home video made on a whim by a bunch of drunken teenagers. Aside from a couple of scenes, that is, that would have had some people asking themselves whether what they're seeing is a real corpse, which is probably exactly why Korine didn't decide to distribute Trash Humpers that way after all.

Okay, but let's look at the movie on its own terms. Coming right after Mister Lonely, what could be considered Korine 's most conventional film, Trash Humpers sees him returning to some of the more formalist stylings of Gummo, the parts that weren't so much a portrait of any real social scene as a sort of funhouse mirror of sleazy Americana by a guy who was never really part of it but grew up around it. Korine all but openly states in Trash Humpers that he considers that white trash world of crackheads, hooligans and dropouts he likes to depict as one of the last vestiges of classical american libertinism. At least that's what I think he meant when he described Trash Humpers as his most american movie.

See, Trash Humpers is very fascinating,. aesthetically. Not so much the whole lo-fi camcorder thing, which at that point, had been done before plenty of times. More its shooting locations. Trash Humpers' small clique of elderly looking rowdies hang out in places surrounded by civilization, but not quite part of it. Empty parking lots at night. Back alleys. Closed schools. Under bridges and by abandoned industrial sites. Occupying spaces that people pass by but don't enter, indulging in random acts of debauchery, not the least of which is actually humping trash cans, and moving on. Repeated throughout the movie is a song about "Three little devils" and it's hard not to see Trash Humpers as a movie about devils dancing on the grave of the American dream.

I think where Gummo framed the existence in a state of numb, nihilistic indifference as an absurd tragedy, Trash Humpers marks the point where he started to treat it as an form of escapism. Something that he would revisit in a less abstract and more literal way in Spring Breakers. Where he started to espouse the philosophy that once you're surrounded by filth, it's more respectable to wallow in it than to keep up an appearance of order and dignity.

In other words, it marks the point where Korine's filmography started to be well and truly insufferable. There's a point to be made that Harmony Korine and Kevin Smith present the two ways the artistic ideology of a too cool for school gen x hipster prodigy can mutate into something I'd consider to be mostly worthless. It's either disappearing up your own ass with trendy nihilism or becoming a toothless facsimile of yourself. Korine chose the former and while it's probably the less embarrassing of the two I can't say I find very much more merit in it.

Trash Humpers, unlike the glossy, neon lit monstrosities that are Spring Breakers and Beach Bum, at least has the courtesy to look as cheap and dirty as its philosophy is and if Korine had managed to stick to the bit and made all of his subsequent movies in that style I'd actually begrudgingly respect it. But honestly, if you ask me, this movie is when his worst tendencies took over and his work just stopped being relatable to me.

 

[Phoenixmgs]

Godzilla Minus One - 3/10

I don't at all get the rave reviews. This movie is overlong, boring, and cliche. The movie goes with the standard overly depressed war veteran as the main protagonist. It's not like the movie only takes place during a month or a few months, it's years and this dude is still super depressed. He obviously doesn't realize the rather good situation he is in until the moment he loses said situation. I'm not a fan of people in general that do nothing to help themselves and this protagonist is the epitome of that. Also, the plan they come up with to tackle the Godzilla problem is pretty fucking stupid. I found the acting rather bad overall, most characters, especially the main character, are really overacting. The movie isn't trying to be a campy movie, it's really trying to be serious, and the acting is not in line with that at all. The movie does look overall really great. That's really the only thing this movie has going for it.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★ review of Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

“I thought they were going to send me a check. I didn’t know they were going to send a death squad!” This film follows Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) some time after the events in Dark of the Moon. An inventor who has more aspirations than money, much to the struggle of his "grounded" daughter...

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[thebobmaster]

A ★★★★ review of Gorgo (1961)

“We're waiting at Battersea. Waiting. Hoping. Praying for a miracle. The entire electricity of all industrial London has been diverted to the wires surrounding the small animal's enclosure. Will it be enough? Will it be enough to stop the huge beast? Will the miracle be granted? Or will it be...

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[thebobmaster]

A ★★ review of Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)

“Jesus Christ.” “Heavens, no. Same city, completely different zip code.” This film had a bit of an interesting production. Written by Gary J. Tunnicliffe, it was initially conceived as a Hellraiser sequel, but was rejected by Miramax. Tunnicliffe then reworked the script to be its own...

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[Johnny Novgorod]

The Idea of You

A May December retelling of Notting Hill, between a 40 year old divorced mom and a 24 year old stand-in for boy band star Harry Styles.

The problem is that, unlike Hugh Grant in Notting Hill, Anne Hathaway is not some anonymous schlub working a mundane job. Because it's Anne Hathaway, she looks fabulous, dresses like she's just had her Devil Wears Prada glow up and works at a chic art gallery. "I could be your mom," she tells Harry Styles. Um, what, at 16? She doesn't look much older than the actor playing the dude, or the actress playing her daughter for that matter. She looks fresh, young and ready-made for the glitzy life ahead of her. And when the boy band and their groupies are lounging by the pool in bikinis she self-consciously throws on a poncho, as if the movie's forgotten that she was rocking a skimpy two-piece in another scene 5 minutes ago.

What the movie boils down to is 90 minutes of fanfiction-y wish fulfilment in which a self-insert has a meet-cute with Harry Styles, he goes looking for her at work, then goes to her house, then they fuck all night in his hotel, asks her to come with him to Europe for a Barcelona/Rome/Paris montage of having fun, etc. Good for them. Looks fun but none of it is funny or compelling. I wanted scenes of normies reacting to Anne's super awesome affair, and scenes of her trying to keep it a secret from her daughter/jealous ex. When we finally get all that it's in the last half hour of the movie and it's all played for drama, having skipped over the tension/comedy of errors.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

I found the acting rather bad overall, most characters, especially the main character, are really overacting. The movie isn't trying to be a campy movie, it's really trying to be serious, and the acting is not in line with that at all.

I find that this tends to be true of a lot of asian movies, especially Japanese and Korean movies. Parasite and Old Boy are very much the same way.

They don't really do "subtle" acting. It's like they think that no one will know they're acting unless they're chewing scenery. Makes it rather difficult to take seriously in serious scenes at times.

 

[Xprimentyl]

The Idea of You

A May December retelling of Notting Hill, between a 40 year old divorced mom and a 24 year old stand-in for boy band star Harry Styles.

The problem is that, unlike Hugh Grant in Notting Hill, Anne Hathaway is not some anonymous schlub working a mundane job. Because it's Anne Hathaway, she looks fabulous, dresses like she's just had her Devil Wears Prada glow up and works at a chic art gallery. "I could be your mom," she tells Harry Styles. Um, what, at 16? She doesn't look much older than the actor playing the dude, or the actress playing her daughter for that matter. She looks fresh, young and ready-made for the glitzy life ahead of her. And when the boy band and their groupies are lounging by the pool in bikinis she self-consciously throws on a poncho, as if the movie's forgotten that she was rocking a skimpy two-piece in another scene 5 minutes ago.

What the movie boils down to is 90 minutes of fanfiction-y wish fulfilment in which a self-insert has a meet-cute with Harry Styles, he goes looking for her at work, then goes to her house, then they fuck all night in his hotel, asks her to come with him to Europe for a Barcelona/Rome/Paris montage of having fun, etc. Good for them. Looks fun but none of it is funny or compelling. I wanted scenes of normies reacting to Anne's super awesome affair, and scenes of her trying to keep it a secret from her daughter/jealous ex. When we finally get all that it's in the last half hour of the movie and it's all played for drama, having skipped over the tension/comedy of errors.

Watched this too, begrudgingly. Already wasn't expecting to like it (I hate romance movies,) and this one didn't disappoint that expectation.

It exists solely for itself, in a vacuum of its own making. Nothing new, nothing intelligent, no message, no intrigue. It's a movie about an unexpected relationship between two consenting adults between which there happens to be a 16-year age gap. That's IT. The filler is simply the inexorable stigma from outside parties. No on learns anything; no motivations are explained; there's no resolution to the manufactured conflict. It all just happens, then it ends. Complete waste of time, imho, but my girlfriend picked it, so I get to the pick our next show: 3-hour roast of Tom Brady it is; that'll learn her to make me watch her bullshit.