Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[Ezekiel]

No, that would be you. Projecting again I see.

I've only seen Princess Bride the one time. I'll have to make room for that later, but I make no promises.

If there's anyone who's projecting about being antisocial, it's you, as you demonstrated again in two threads yesterday. Posted this on three other forums, got four positive positive ratings, two friendly responses and two neutral. Only Xperimental and you shoved this nastiness on me.

 

[gorfias]

New on Netflix is Jay Kelly.

Directed by Noah Buambach (Marriage Story)

Starring George Clooney and Adam Sandler in a series of almost shaggy dog stories.
Hollywood does love making movies about themselves and, I concede, I very often enjoy watching them.
Here, movie star and mediocre father and family man, Jay Kelly is having something of a late in life crisis. He runs off to Europe to receive an award mostly to get away and ask big questions about it all after the man he failed, who was responsible for his career success, has passed away.

He runs into Billy Crudup, who has a sensational part as a former room mate worth the price of admission by itself.

Ends quite nicely as well. B

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★★½ review of Santa's Slay (2005)

“What in God’s name are you doing?” “Why, I’m just trying to spread some Yuletide fear!” This film was written and directed by David Steinman, who worked as an assistant for a time to Brett Ratner, who unfortunately served as a producer on this film. The only real production note I have is that...

letterboxd.com

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

LBJ

I know exactly three things about LBJ: he took over as president after JFK was America'd, he passed the Civil Rights Act either out of loyalty or pragmatism, and then fumbled Vietnam as a coup de grace. The movie covers the first two things. It's primarily interested in LBJ as a pragmatic but insecure man, and the oxymoron that is "Southern progressive", to be forever overshadowed by his younger, infinitely more charismatic boss - both in life and in death. When he finally succeeds him we're 30 minutes into the big finale, which consists of LBJ retaining JFK's cabinet, telling the Southern good old boys to get with the program and delivering a reassuring and impactful kinda eulogy, kinda inauguration speech. I learned in the end that, until Biden bowed out in 24, he was the last sitting US president to not seek reelection, which should put Johnson's popularity into perspective. Stars a great Woody Harrelson in SNL makeup. Directed by Rob Reiner.

Albert Brooks: Defending My Life

Documentary about absurdist comedian Albert Einstein. I haven't seen any of the movies he directed and only know him as Hank Scorpio and from supporting parts, but the documentary made me a fan, which I think is the biggest compliment I can give it. As writer/director/protagonist he seems to have had the filmography Ricky Gervais has always strived for, mixing poignant satire with corny feelgood drama. The documentary is also directed by Rob Reiner, who structures it around a dinner conversation between him and Brooks. It is perhaps inevitable that this now feels as much about Brooks as it does about Reiner, especially as the two of them start waxing melancholically about legacy and mortality. We see them walking around tombstones and speculating about the hereafter, and how Brooks would be too envious of the living after dying ("I don't want to die and then have to watch the living and go 'Huh, Rob's doing pretty good'").

At another point Brooks is on the Daily Show promoting his novel called 2030: The Real Story of What Happens to America and jokes: "I feel, and I can see it in my own children, that in a number of years these younger people are going to try to kill us".

 

[Xprimentyl]

Albert Brooks: Defending My Life

Documentary about absurdist comedian Albert Einstein. I haven't seen any of the movies he directed and only know him as Hank Scorpio and from supporting parts, but the documentary made me a fan, which I think is the biggest compliment I can give it. As writer/director/protagonist he seems to have had the filmography Ricky Gervais has always strived for, mixing poignant satire with corny feelgood drama. The documentary is also directed by Rob Reiner, who structures it around a dinner conversation between him and Brooks. It is perhaps inevitable that this now feels as much about Brooks as it does about Reiner, especially as the two of them start waxing melancholically about legacy and mortality. We see them walking around tombstones and speculating about the hereafter, and how Brooks would be too envious of the living after dying ("I don't want to die and then have to watch the living and go 'Huh, Rob's doing pretty good'").

At another point Brooks is on the Daily Show promoting his novel called 2030: The Real Story of What Happens to America and jokes: "I feel, and I can see it in my own children, that in a number of years these younger people are going to try to kill us".

Lol, I read this review and thought I was misremembering what I recall from 1991's Defending Your Life starring/directed by Albert BROOKS.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

My girl's 2025 ranking:

1. F1
2. One Battle After Another
3. Weapons
4. Frankenstein
5. Caught Stealing
6. Bugonia
7. 28 Years Later
8. Warfare
9. Materialists
10. The Monkey
11. The Phoenician Scheme
12. Holland

Lol, I read this review and thought I was misremembering what I recall from 1991's Defending Your Life starring/directed by Albert BROOKS.

I haven't seen that movie but the way the docu describes it and shows parts of it made me think of that Chris Rock movie where he dies and is reincarnated as an elderly white millionaire. Rock appears in the documentary speaking highly of Brooks (born Einstein) too.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★ review of Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012)

“I was trying to catch the ghost.” “With a stun gun and a tent?!” It's the fifth movie in a series that didn't really need more than 2, so I don't have much to note on production. On with the review. This film follows the Baxter family, consisting of mother Catherine (Ellie Harvie), father...

letterboxd.com

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Navy SEALs

A moronic, plotless military action movie starring Michael Biehn and Charlie Sheen, who I imagine drew straws to determine who got to play the loose cannon and who played the slightly looser cannon. 13 year olds must've loved this shit in 1990. It's about a bunch of bros drinking and dicking around beach fronts and golf courses and then ditching their girls (ew) as soon as their pagers beep so they can go police the world. There's a running gag about Dennis Haysbert always standing his fiancee. Hopefully he fares better than in Heat. I bowed out an hour into the movie and had been nodding off for a bit before that but I guess in between missions Biehn and Sheen also have a love triangle with a lady reporter who for some reason is in the unique position to tell them where the bad missiles at?

 

[Thaluikhain]

Navy SEALs

A moronic, plotless military action movie starring Michael Biehn and Charlie Sheen, who I imagine drew straws to determine who got to play the loose cannon and who played the slightly looser cannon. 13 year olds must've loved this shit in 1990. It's about a bunch of bros drinking and dicking around beach fronts and golf courses and then ditching their girls (ew) as soon as their pagers beep so they can go police the world. There's a running gag about Dennis Haysbert always standing his fiancee. Hopefully he fares better than in Heat. I bowed out an hour into the movie and had been nodding off for a bit before that but I guess in between missions Biehn and Sheen also have a love triangle with a lady reporter who for some reason is in the unique position to tell them where the bad missiles at?

IIRC, there's also some guff about top brass/civilians stopping the SEALs from doing their jobs right, and so the terrorists win for a bit. Also, a guy who was told his parachute looked dodgy and really should have done something about it.

 

[BrawlMan]

Navy SEALs

A moronic, plotless military action movie starring Michael Biehn and Charlie Sheen, who I imagine drew straws to determine who got to play the loose cannon and who played the slightly looser cannon. 13 year olds must've loved this shit in 1990. It's about a bunch of bros drinking and dicking around beach fronts and golf courses and then ditching their girls (ew) as soon as their pagers beep so they can go police the world. There's a running gag about Dennis Haysbert always standing his fiancee. Hopefully he fares better than in Heat. I bowed out an hour into the movie and had been nodding off for a bit before that but I guess in between missions Biehn and Sheen also have a love triangle with a lady reporter who for some reason is in the unique position to tell them where the bad missiles at?

It's one of the most boring action films ever made. I only saw it the one time, and didn't even like it as a kid.

 

[Xprimentyl]

I haven't seen that movie but the way the docu describes it and shows parts of it made me think of that Chris Rock movie where he dies and is reincarnated as an elderly white millionaire. Rock appears in the documentary speaking highly of Brooks (born Einstein) too.

Oh, so it IS the same guy, and the title IS a play on the title from the 1991 film. Makes sense.

 

[Bob_McMillan]

Okay yeah I watched Knives Out again and I have to say, it is quite a bit better than Wake Up Dead Man. It looks better, sounds better, the cast is better (or at least is given more to do), and the mystery is much more interesting despite it being a lot simpler.

It's made me a little sad honestly. Are my expectations for movies so low now after all the post-Covid slop?

Anyway, we also watched about an hour of Ballerina John Wick. I had heard that the fight scenes reflected how Ana de Armas is a tiny little girl, and so has to switch up her fighting style to stand a chance against all the muscled goons.

Her mentor tells her to "fight like a girl", which is followed by a montage of her pretty much exclusively shooting, kicking, and punching dudes in the balls (and so far, one lady right in the clit). I kinda checked out in that moment. Will still probably get back to it, but that it ties into John Wick 3, the worst one, is not a good sign.

 

[Phoenixmgs]

Okay yeah I watched Knives Out again and I have to say, it is quite a bit better than Wake Up Dead Man. It looks better, sounds better, the cast is better (or at least is given more to do), and the mystery is much more interesting despite it being a lot simpler.

It's made me a little sad honestly. Are my expectations for movies so low now after all the post-Covid slop?

Anyway, we also watched about an hour of Ballerina John Wick. I had heard that the fight scenes reflected how Ana de Armas is a tiny little girl, and so has to switch up her fighting style to stand a chance against all the muscled goons.

Her mentor tells her to "fight like a girl", which is followed by a montage of her pretty much exclusively shooting, kicking, and punching dudes in the balls (and so far, one lady right in the clit). I kinda checked out in that moment. Will still probably get back to it, but that it ties into John Wick 3, the worst one, is not a good sign.

The rest of the cast getting like absolutely nothing to do in Wake Up Dead Man was so disappointing and the movie is the longest Knives Out movie as well. It felt like it could've been a decent 40 minute episode of Poker Face instead of some 2 and half hour movie.

Sadly the only thing Ballerina has going for it is some of the action scenes are pretty good/fun/inventive, the action scenes go on too long and there are too many of them. The movie is overly long and the "tie-in" in the 2nd half of the movie is just stupid as hell. I think one of the main reasons for movies feeling so "sloppy" is it seems like no one knows how to edit anymore. Every movie has to be over 2 hours now, usually like 2 and half hours, John Wick 4 was almost 3 fucking hours whereas the 1st John Wick is a lean and mean 100 minutes. And the 1st John Wick is the only one with a complete story, the sequels feel like they are one 7 hour movie because the sequels just end in a "to be continued" kinda way. Same thing with TV a lot of the time, an 8 episode 8 hour TV season usually feels like it could've been a movie a lot of the time but it has to be stretched out because content.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Alex & Emma

Really rather redoubtably ridiculous Rob Reiner romcom rubbish. How bad is it? Artie Lange once said he knew he had a heroin problem when he caught Alex & Emma on TV - and he didn't turn it off. Luke Wilson and Kate Hudson have no chemistry, to start with. Wilson works in low wattage roles like in Tenenbaums or Idiocracy, or when he can otherwise foil other people's funny, but he doesn't play a good scoundrel and is simply no match for Kate Hudson, who romcoms circles around him. All the same the plot just doesn't work. Wilson plays an indebted writer who has to cough up 100 grand to a couple of mean Cubans within 30 days or get thrown off the balcony of his "dumpy" New York brownstone, and his chummy editor would rather him die than advance him a cheque (???). When the Cubans burn his laptop (why not just take it as part of the payment?) Wilson's solution to producing the Great American Novel in 30 days or less is to hire a courtroom stenographer (Hudson), who will take dictation and then transcribe everything over in her computer. And Hudson acquiesces to the job even though she gets bamboozled into it and has to work pro bono in a dump for a guy who doesn't shower and who's not only too poor to pay her daily $15 rate, but might not even be alive by the end of the gig. In no earthly realm can you convince this degenerate gambler would resort to this, or that this young hot talented chick would agree (yes, I'm aware that this is basically how Fyodor Dostoyevsky met his second wife - I don't buy Luke Wilson as Fyodor Dostoyevsky either).

Then we come to the other big conceit of the movie, which is that Wilson and Hudson also play characters in the book they're writing/commentating. Watching them brainstorm a mediocre story is about as exciting as watching them dramatize it. The story-within-a-story is a cheap Roaring 20's love triangle that is meant to echo their real life plight but all it does is reveal just how manufactured and lackluster their dynamic really is. Bottom line, it's impossible to care for a story that's literally being made up on the fly, with no clear direction and details constantly being moved around.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★★★½ review of Gremlins (1984)

“And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.” Interestingly enough, while this film was written as a spec script by Chris Columbus, he didn't initially intend to turn the script into a movie, having only written it to show his capabilities as a writer. However, Steven Spielberg was...

letterboxd.com

 

[Phoenixmgs]

A ★★★★½ review of Gremlins (1984)

“And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.” Interestingly enough, while this film was written as a spec script by Chris Columbus, he didn't initially intend to turn the script into a movie, having only written it to show his capabilities as a writer. However, Steven Spielberg was...

letterboxd.com

There's a typo in the 2nd sentence there btw

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Ballad of a Small Player

Colin Farrell is a degenerate gambler hiding from the law and racking up debt in Macau. And that's the movie. Kernels of plot here and there - he has a meet cute with another lost soul, keeps getting in way over his head, Tilda Swinton plays a mystery caller - but it's otherwise very much a study of the sickness and despair of this particular character. There's much talk about Hungry Ghosts and an abundance of excessive imagery, and the whole movie is overwrought with gauche direction from Edward Berger, who is clearly best served by clockwork scripts such as Conclave's. The story here so thin, and the twist is so obvious, that he ends up overexerting his style while directing Farrell into giving a grandiose, operatic performance.

Then there's Macau itself, which makes Las Vegas look like Disneyland. I learn the size of its gambling industry is 7x that of Vegas. Man all the lights and fireworks look pretty against the night (it's always night). I always think it's a waste that casinos of all places should look so pretty.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★★★ review of The Rocketeer (1991)

“How do I look?” “Like a hood ornament.” Based on the comics of the same name by Dave Stephens, there was interest almost immediately after their publication in 1982 in an adaptation. However, the first attempt to do so in 1983 by Steve Miner fell apart when he drifted too far away from the...

letterboxd.com

ETA: Needed a small break from my Christmas marathon for a change of pace.

 

[Casual Shinji]

A ★★★★½ review of Gremlins (1984)

“And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.” Interestingly enough, while this film was written as a spec script by Chris Columbus, he didn't initially intend to turn the script into a movie, having only written it to show his capabilities as a writer. However, Steven Spielberg was...

letterboxd.com

I've always found Gremlins a little odd in how it functions as a movie.

Rand Peltzer is the narrator stating 'oh boy, do I have story to tell you folks', but he's really not even in Kingston Falls when shit goes down. Dude leaves for the convention before the mogwai even eat after midnight, and then returns to see Stripe half melted. He literally doesn't even get to see an actual gremlin. Then there's Judge Reinhold's character, which I reckon everyone who rewatches this movie needs to remind themselves he's in this. Because he only shows up at the very start introduced as the antithesis of Billy who vies for Kate's attention, and feels obviously set-up to meet his end at the schemes of the gremlins. But then apart from one scene later on where he just walks by he disappears from the movie.

Also, for as deadly as daylight is to the mogwai/gremlins there's certainly a lot of scenes with daylight streaming into the room mere feet away from them. Even in the scene with the recently cocooned mogwai the morning sun is just right the fuck there.

 

[Thaluikhain]

A ★★★★ review of The Rocketeer (1991)

“How do I look?” “Like a hood ornament.” Based on the comics of the same name by Dave Stephens, there was interest almost immediately after their publication in 1982 in an adaptation. However, the first attempt to do so in 1983 by Steve Miner fell apart when he drifted too far away from the...

letterboxd.com

ETA: Needed a small break from my Christmas marathon for a change of pace.

Always remember Rondo Hatton from "The Pearl of Death", one of Basil Rathbone's not terribly great Sherlock Holmes films. Hatton was the best thing in it, or rather the clever using of cinematography and lighting to make him look sinister in silhouette.