Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[XsjadoBlayde]

With money being what it is lately, I can only afford to forget turning off the "auto-renewal" option for one depressingly restrictive streaming service at any one moment. This time it was Shudder. I was desperately trying to figure out which of these parasitic fuckers had the rights to the original The Thing in the UK, as I hadn't seen it at all yet, only to learn it was nobody...just like the last 30 "classic" films I searched for!

So back to Shudder. Christ, there is a lot of toss on here. 90% zombie films, an extra 5% on top of that who don't say they're zombie films, but still brandish what are essentially zombies anyway, just with different coloured eyes or secreting bodily fluids. And don't trust user ratings one bit...all the suckers paying for this subscription are filthy uncultured sentient slimes.

The Dead Lands (episode 1)
Eh, not too bad, not great. Māori tribes with sort of zombie pets. Two leads are likeable. Action looks a bit iffy, but shots of nature are pleasant and the excuse for zombies being tied directly to Māori beliefs is a neat touch. Might continue if the mood feels right.

The Beach House
Pretty white people with big blue eyes, oh how many do I have to see before the aryan anxiety begins to fade? Despite that, the premise is actually kinda interesting. It has some hints of good direction, but loses pace and vigour midway. The low budget becomes obvious in a couple of cringy moments. Plus the ending was executed with such a cheesy line, it tainted any of the intrigue built up by that point.

Blood Quantum
The real highlight here. For a zombie film anyway. Set on an indigenous peoples reservation with an indigenous cast of curious characters, it doesn't pull any punches, well produced and shot, acting does the job, the odd animated scenes are lovely, poetic almost. Touches upon various themes to strengthen the already potent mixture. Quite a surprise really. Some lines are a bit clichéd or dumb, but overall an alright time.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Del Toro makes the best Saturday morning cartoons. I don't mean that as an insult and I'm sure he wouldn't consider it one. Hellboy II is a lot of fun, seemingly fueled by a limitless cavalcade of weird creatures and appealing sets, all through practical FX. Characters are likeable and badass but without the cold corporate Disney finish or the awesome-going-on-stupid spectacle of the average blockbuster.

Yeah, I thought it was too silly at first (especially after seeing the first, which has a very different tone), but it really grew on me.

 

[Chimpzy]

Rambo Last Blood

What a fucking borefest. Say what you like about the other movies and their respective issues, at least they had entertaining action set pieces. For what is presumably the final chapter and sendoff to the character, I instead got an impotent version of Taken for the current era.

 

[happyninja42]

Similar with Skara. He's your would be slave rebel leader, but he seems quite content with his lot in life, mining for Ra, before these guys come along and decides "hey, maybe I DON'T want to be a slave."

Well consider the context of his life. Up to that point, he was raised in a society that portrayed Ra's people as literal GODS, who were to be worshiped. There is a depressingly large amount of real world evidence to show that indoctrination into religious beliefs from birth can condition people to accept pretty much any type of shitty existence, just look at North Korea. And I think the scene where Daniel unmasks one of the Jafar, is the telling point. Up to that point, Skara was a devout believer, which is why he is so upset when he sees what they did at first. Fearful (rightly so) that they will anger the gods (which they did), and that his people will be punished (they were). But when the veil of religion is torn away from him, and he sees that it's a lie, he's clearly dumbstruck, when he looks at the body. So no, I don't think it's unrealistic for him to go from "happy with my life because god told me to be happy with it" (a sentiment real life uses all the time to subjugate people), to "Yeah fuck these guys, they're just exploiting us, let's go kill them."

Granted, it's a lot FASTER than real world de-programming usually works, but I mean, it's a movie, everything is always sped up to unrealistically fast timescales, to fit into the runtime of the film.

Your other points, I do agree, it's not the best built film. I think they were going for more spectacle and setpiece, especially with the glamour of the scenes with Ra and his people. Hard to do a lot of compelling action when you are wearing a full length dress with a huge trail, that probably weighs like 60 pounds of just the clothing. Plus, those jackal helmets were awkward as hell. The tv show had the same problem of making the people wearing them not look stupid when they are trying to be menacing. When you can clearly see the extra in the helmet, blundering about like a stormtrooper, for lack of vision. So the idea that they didn't do much with Ra and his guards, directly on screen, I get it. SG-1 basically did away with the masks, and just let the Jafar run around uncovered, because it's just easier to do, and looks less stupid.

But yeah, it's got it's bad edges, but I still love it. And as someone who just couldn't get into the TV shows it spawned, to me, it's the best iteration of the concept.

 

[Hawki]

Well consider the context of his life. Up to that point, he was raised in a society that portrayed Ra's people as literal GODS, who were to be worshiped. There is a depressingly large amount of real world evidence to show that indoctrination into religious beliefs from birth can condition people to accept pretty much any type of shitty existence, just look at North Korea. And I think the scene where Daniel unmasks one of the Jafar, is the telling point. Up to that point, Skara was a devout believer, which is why he is so upset when he sees what they did at first. Fearful (rightly so) that they will anger the gods (which they did), and that his people will be punished (they were). But when the veil of religion is torn away from him, and he sees that it's a lie, he's clearly dumbstruck, when he looks at the body. So no, I don't think it's unrealistic for him to go from "happy with my life because god told me to be happy with it" (a sentiment real life uses all the time to subjugate people), to "Yeah fuck these guys, they're just exploiting us, let's go kill them."

Granted, it's a lot FASTER than real world de-programming usually works, but I mean, it's a movie, everything is always sped up to unrealistically fast timescales, to fit into the runtime of the film.

I think you're confusing Skara with Kasuf. Skara is the teenage guy that idolizes Jack. Kasuf is the old guy/his dad, who gets 'illuminated' when the Horus Guard's helmet is removed.

I actually don't have a problem with Kasuf being a follower of Ra up to that point, because as per the context you describe above, it makes sense. Skara however? Not so much. Again, we have no indication that he's disatisfied with his lot in life - yeah, the mining operation seems pretty backbreaking, but he happily interacts with Jack and co. Only he follows them to Ra's temple, sees Jack and Daniel get captured, and along the way gets it into his head that "hey, being a slave sucks." Yeah, Sha'uri tells him about the truth of their origins, but it's not a transition that's given enough depth IMO.

The tv show had the same problem of making the people wearing them not look stupid when they are trying to be menacing. When you can clearly see the extra in the helmet, blundering about like a stormtrooper, for lack of vision. So the idea that they didn't do much with Ra and his guards, directly on screen, I get it. SG-1 basically did away with the masks, and just let the Jafar run around uncovered, because it's just easier to do, and looks less stupid.

I actually really disliked how they lost the helmets in the TV series, and it ties in with a problem I have with the goa'uld as a whole, that they get less intimidating as time goes on. I mean, when these guys first show up, these are the Serpent Guard, who, if nothing else, are at least visually distinct when compared to the film (which makes sense - different 'gods,' different 'guards,' and it fits the mythology of Apophis). That, and it reiterates that the goa'uld are a dangerous foe, that their soldiers can take numerous bullets at close range and still shrug most of them off. But over time, the Jaffa become mooks, and all visual identity is erased. One goa'uld's Jaffa is close to another's. This ties in with how SG-1 guns down Jaffa pretty easily, and how the goa'uld never really feel like the threat they did in the first season, where Apophis comes to Earth. Maybe Anubis, but that's about it.

And as someone who just couldn't get into the TV shows it spawned, to me, it's the best iteration of the concept.

I certainly sympathize with that. Like, the shows are a net positive for me (and SG-1 ranks pretty highly on my sci-fi show list), but SG-1 deviated from the film in notable ways, and Atlantis and Universe deviated further. It's one of the few points of credit I can give Origins in that it tried to reconcile the film with the TV series to an extent. And considering that the original film spawned books and comics that SG-1 retconned...yeah. I can actually sympathize with Devlin and Emmerich, seeing their 'baby' be transformed and praised as the 'better' version, when said version didn't follow their roadmap.

On the other hand, I have to admit that the film is still heavily flawed, per the reasons I gave earlier.

 

[Thaluikhain]

That, and it reiterates that the goa'uld are a dangerous foe, that their soldiers can take numerous bullets at close range and still shrug most of them off. But over time, the Jaffa become mooks, and all visual identity is erased. One goa'uld's Jaffa is close to another's. This ties in with how SG-1 guns down Jaffa pretty easily, and how the goa'uld never really feel like the threat they did in the first season, where Apophis comes to Earth. Maybe Anubis, but that's about it.

Also, though a minor point, in the early episodes of SG-1, they shrug off multiple rifle rounds. The US forces start issuing SMGs (MP-5s, I mean, not the later P90s) which they aren't immune to. Other way around would make a lot more sense.

(The P90, whilst looking cool, also would be better than the MP-5. As an aside, they had to stop using them later on, as they use 5.7mm rounds (or at least blanks versions thereof), which aren't that common, and the people making them switched to making real rounds for the Gulf War. IIRC, later series used cool looking guns that used standard 5.56mm ammunition.)

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Yeah, I thought it was too silly at first (especially after seeing the first, which has a very different tone), but it really grew on me.

I thought it was kinda silly too. For an Oscar nominated makeup the very first scene with teen Hellboy looks pretty uncanny. The auction scene too. By the troll market the movie had won me over though. I think that's my story with every Del Toro movie, kinda corny and awkward at first, eventually wins me over from being so relentless, uncompromising, imaginative and basically fun.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Yeah, the first scene with Hellboy was weird, and there's another bit when he's watching the TV about himself and his proportions are wrong.

(The bit that always gets me is when he shoots a tooth fairy with a gun twice the size of it, and a big crowd of TV crew on the other side. You've just killed at least one person on public TV.)

 

[Hawki]

Also, though a minor point, in the early episodes of SG-1, they shrug off multiple rifle rounds. The US forces start issuing SMGs (MP-5s, I mean, not the later P90s) which they aren't immune to. Other way around would make a lot more sense.

(The P90, whilst looking cool, also would be better than the MP-5. As an aside, they had to stop using them later on, as they use 5.7mm rounds (or at least blanks versions thereof), which aren't that common, and the people making them switched to making real rounds for the Gulf War. IIRC, later series used cool looking guns that used standard 5.56mm ammunition.)

Yeah, I can't say I got all of that (I really don't know much about firearms), but going by what's on-screen, the SMGs used by SG-1 seem to be more effective than the M-16? used by the airmen in the pilot episode. I'd have thought that would have more firepower than an SMG.

Granted, probably the simple reason is that it's easier from a production standpoint to have your characters use smaller guns, and easier to have enemies that can be gunned down easily.

Least the kull were pretty awesome.

 

[happyninja42]

Ugh, the quoting system in this forum is terrible....so YOU is well...YOU @Hawki.


YOU-----------
I think you're confusing Skara with Kasuf. Skara is the teenage guy that idolizes Jack. Kasuf is the old guy/his dad, who gets 'illuminated' when the Horus Guard's helmet is removed.

I actually don't have a problem with Kasuf being a follower of Ra up to that point, because as per the context you describe above, it makes sense. Skara however? Not so much. Again, we have no indication that he's disatisfied with his lot in life - yeah, the mining operation seems pretty backbreaking, but he happily interacts with Jack and co. Only he follows them to Ra's temple, sees Jack and Daniel get captured, and along the way gets it into his head that "hey, being a slave sucks." Yeah, Sha'uri tells him about the truth of their origins, but it's not a transition that's given enough depth IMO.
---------------


Ah, yes I forgot about that kid, the younger boy character. Oops, wrong character.
I guess they were just having him be the "typical rebellious teenager" trope? *shrugs* That no matter what planet, kids will rebel? I dunno, it's all speculation, but to me, the fact that he was ok with the only existence he knew of, and then became restless when exposed to a *sings* Whole NEEEWW WOOOOORLD! Doesn't really seem that unreasonable to me? Maybe he was secretly dissatisfied with the slave life, but given how little screen time we have with him, prior to him encountering the humans, it's hard to establish much character depth of his world view. Which I agree makes him a very flat character. All the characters are pretty 2 dimensional, and 1 note, I will agree. But personally, they still harmonize well enough for me to enjoy the film.


YOU---------------
I actually really disliked how they lost the helmets in the TV series, and it ties in with a problem I have with the goa'uld as a whole, that they get less intimidating as time goes on. I mean, when these guys first show up, these are the Serpent Guard, who, if nothing else, are at least visually distinct when compared to the film (which makes sense - different 'gods,' different 'guards,' and it fits the mythology of Apophis). That, and it reiterates that the goa'uld are a dangerous foe, that their soldiers can take numerous bullets at close range and still shrug most of them off. But over time, the Jaffa become mooks, and all visual identity is erased. One goa'uld's Jaffa is close to another's. This ties in with how SG-1 guns down Jaffa pretty easily, and how the goa'uld never really feel like the threat they did in the first season, where Apophis comes to Earth. Maybe Anubis, but that's about it.
----------------------------------


I attribute that to simple budget/effects constraints. Yeah it made them less intimidating, but if you actually watch the movie, in the background shots where you see the Jafar being dogpiled while wearing the helmets, they look silly as hell. The design looks good stationary, and on paper, but in real world movement, it's just clunky. So I appreciate that they just had to stop using the masks, whenever the character in question is actually expected to move around a lot in a scene, or have heavy dialogue. Because it's not conducive to a good scene. But considering they went with the plot angle of the Jafar being as much slaves/victims of the....shit what were they called? The gou-ould? The snake brain thingies. It makes sense that they would humanize them more, and the fastest way to do that, is remove the helmets.

YOU----------------
I certainly sympathize with that. Like, the shows are a net positive for me (and SG-1 ranks pretty highly on my sci-fi show list), but SG-1 deviated from the film in notable ways, and Atlantis and Universe deviated further. It's one of the few points of credit I can give Origins in that it tried to reconcile the film with the TV series to an extent. And considering that the original film spawned books and comics that SG-1 retconned...yeah. I can actually sympathize with Devlin and Emmerich, seeing their 'baby' be transformed and praised as the 'better' version, when said version didn't follow their roadmap.

On the other hand, I have to admit that the film is still heavily flawed, per the reasons I gave earlier.
---------------------------------

I enjoyed Universe for a while, as it was an interesting take on the franchise, and I enjoyed most of the cast in it. But I lost interest early on, and never rekindled it.

I think my biggest gripe with SG-1, was what they did with O'Neal. How they turned him into the jokey, doesn't take anything seriously, I'm a Bill Murray Smart-Ass insert, character. Which, while I don't have a problem with that in concept, I think they made him too indifferent and snarky, too often. I actually like the idea, that "pre-my son died" O'Neal, was a more jovial guy, and that SG-1, since it's post-film, implying he's worked through at least SOME of his trauma about his son, and is able to be a more rounded human. All of that is perfectly good character design, but for someone as high in the military as him, dealing with the level of threats he often was, for him to be constantly cracking sass just....really killed my interest. The show had some good individual episodes that I remember seeing from time to time, but as a whole, I just didn't enjoy it, and never watched the other variations, other than Universe, which also didn't hold my interest.

 

[XsjadoBlayde]

Coherence
A low-key sci-fi thriller film that knows what it wants and how to achieve it with minimal budget. If you're ok with a lot of talking, arguing, tensions over a dinner party gone weird, then is definitely worth going in blind. Not for everybody, but I found it riveting.

 

[Hawki]

But considering they went with the plot angle of the Jafar being as much slaves/victims of the....shit what were they called? The gou-ould? The snake brain thingies. It makes sense that they would humanize them more, and the fastest way to do that, is remove the helmets.

Yeah, removing the helmets arguably humanized them, but it didn't stop SG-1 from gunning them down ad nauseum when they were on the opposing side.

Like, I dunno, maybe they could have had helmetless Jaffa as exclusively those who'd broken free, while the ones with helmets were the ones serving the goa'uld? Visual storytelling and all that.

I enjoyed Universe for a while, as it was an interesting take on the franchise, and I enjoyed most of the cast in it. But I lost interest early on, and never rekindled it.

For what it's worth, Universe finds its mojo in season 2. Problem is you have to deal with season 1 which is pretty meandering to get there.

I think my biggest gripe with SG-1, was what they did with O'Neal. How they turned him into the jokey, doesn't take anything seriously, I'm a Bill Murray Smart-Ass insert, character. Which, while I don't have a problem with that in concept, I think they made him too indifferent and snarky, too often. I actually like the idea, that "pre-my son died" O'Neal, was a more jovial guy, and that SG-1, since it's post-film, implying he's worked through at least SOME of his trauma about his son, and is able to be a more rounded human. All of that is perfectly good character design, but for someone as high in the military as him, dealing with the level of threats he often was, for him to be constantly cracking sass just....really killed my interest.

Yeah, it's a fair point. I can see O'Neil being grating for some. Still, he did have some serious moments that stand out, so there's that.

Part of the problem with O'Neil for me is that he was written as "wisecracking soldier guy," but as a colonel leading a military team, it felt a bit stretchy. Like, Captain Kirk can get away with that, but SG-1 (the show) operates in the context that the Stargate Program is a military operation, so it might expect some more professionalism from one of its commanding officers. But like I said, O'Neil does get quite a few moments of character depth. Like, we see that behind the wisecracks, O'Neil does understand the stakes of what's going on, and deeply cares for those around him.

The show had some good individual episodes that I remember seeing from time to time, but as a whole, I just didn't enjoy it, and never watched the other variations, other than Universe, which also didn't hold my interest.

Far as the other variations go, well, don't bother with Origins unless you're a completionist. As for Atlantis, a lot of people rank it as their favourite. Personally though, if you don't like SG-1, you probably won't like Atlantis. It really is SG-1 2.0 in a lot of ways. As for Infinity, I haven't seen it, but...


I mean, with a theme song like that, doesn't that make you want to track it down?

As for other variations, well, all I can s

 

[happyninja42]

Yeah, it's a fair point. I can see O'Neil being grating for some. Still, he did have some serious moments that stand out, so there's that.

Part of the problem with O'Neil for me is that he was written as "wisecracking soldier guy," but as a colonel leading a military team, it felt a bit stretchy.

Again, in concept, I don't have a problem with this. I've worked with veteran's as co-workers and clients for 12 years, several of them full bird colonels and career military, and many of them (the full bird in particular) are incredibly jokey, prankster, funny guys. My issue with O'Neal in this context is mainly how he would...ok like, any time there is an exposition meeting, he looks completely bored, responds in a way that seems more like a teenager in highschool, listening to his chess club talking about the upcoming state finals, and he's just TOO COOL to pay attention. Or when he would constantly do the "look dumb it down for me you egghead smart people types!! who read books! and know words! I are dumb military person!! Make words understandy!" And Daniel and....Carter? Was that her name? The female member in the first run, would just look at each other like "oh yeah, he's a fucking idiot. let's talk at remedial kindergarten level, so the COLONEL can understand it." And then he'd even be snarky after they dumbed it down for him. I just felt like "ok so you've been doing this for years now, you are literally one of a handful of people on the planet who knows this shit, can you at least ACT like you are taking this seriously? " But no, because they wanted Bill Murray. And I'm not knocking Dean Michael Anderson, I love that guy, and thought he did well with what they wrote for him. I just didn't like what they wrote for him, in most episodes that I saw. Yeah he would have his moments of seriousness, and those were great, or episodes like the Groundhog Day (huh, Bill Murray movie, imagine that...) that were meant to be silly from start to finish. But the character just didn't have consistency that I enjoyed. His level of seriousness seemed to vary from writer to writer, episode to episode. And that just really grated my nerves.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

I watched Rise of Skywalker on Disney+ yesterday.

It was garbage.

Also, if Luke's force ghost can touch things why doesn't he just materialize next to Palpatine and start slapping him? Just bully him hard. What's Palpatine going to do about it? Luke is intangible. He can just fuck with Palpatine for eternity. Give him wedgies, stuff him in lockers...

 

[Trunkage]

I watched Rise of Skywalker on Disney+ yesterday.

It was garbage.

Also, if Luke's force ghost can touch things why doesn't he just materialize next to Palpatine and start slapping him? Just bully him hard. What's Palpatine going to do about it? Luke is intangible. He can just fuck with Palpatine for eternity. Give him wedgies, stuff him in lockers...

Why didn’t Obi-Wan’s ghost just haunt Vader? Imagine him chastising Vader: ‘you have 3 Star Destroyers and you still can’t catch one little ship! You already got defeated by a rebel force with no major warships, and now this! He’s making you look stupid.”

 

[Dalisclock]

I watched Rise of Skywalker on Disney+ yesterday.

It was garbage.

Also, if Luke's force ghost can touch things why doesn't he just materialize next to Palpatine and start slapping him? Just bully him hard. What's Palpatine going to do about it? Luke is intangible. He can just fuck with Palpatine for eternity. Give him wedgies, stuff him in lockers...

While doing the Joker voice.

Why did we not get that movie?

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

While doing the Joker voice.

Why did we not get that movie?

Can we make this into a comedy webseries? Do those still exist or did they die out in 2004?

These days we'd probably get cancelled for normalizing bullying or something.

 

[Trunkage]

Can we make this into a comedy webseries? Do those still exist or did they die out in 2004?

These days we'd probably get cancelled for normalizing bullying or something.

Nah, it’s totally cool bullying villains

 

[Dalisclock]

Can we make this into a comedy webseries? Do those still exist or did they die out in 2004?

These days we'd probably get cancelled for normalizing bullying or something.

Palpatine is basically Magical Space Hitler so it's fine.

 

[Gordon_4]

Again, in concept, I don't have a problem with this. I've worked with veteran's as co-workers and clients for 12 years, several of them full bird colonels and career military, and many of them (the full bird in particular) are incredibly jokey, prankster, funny guys. My issue with O'Neal in this context is mainly how he would...ok like, any time there is an exposition meeting, he looks completely bored, responds in a way that seems more like a teenager in highschool, listening to his chess club talking about the upcoming state finals, and he's just TOO COOL to pay attention. Or when he would constantly do the "look dumb it down for me you egghead smart people types!! who read books! and know words! I are dumb military person!! Make words understandy!" And Daniel and....Carter? Was that her name? The female member in the first run, would just look at each other like "oh yeah, he's a fucking idiot. let's talk at remedial kindergarten level, so the COLONEL can understand it." And then he'd even be snarky after they dumbed it down for him. I just felt like "ok so you've been doing this for years now, you are literally one of a handful of people on the planet who knows this shit, can you at least ACT like you are taking this seriously? " But no, because they wanted Bill Murray. And I'm not knocking Dean Michael Anderson, I love that guy, and thought he did well with what they wrote for him. I just didn't like what they wrote for him, in most episodes that I saw. Yeah he would have his moments of seriousness, and those were great, or episodes like the Groundhog Day (huh, Bill Murray movie, imagine that...) that were meant to be silly from start to finish. But the character just didn't have consistency that I enjoyed. His level of seriousness seemed to vary from writer to writer, episode to episode. And that just really grated my nerves.

Richard Dean Anderson. And when he’s asking Carter to dumb it down, it’s not because he’s stupid, its because she’s smarter and nine times out of ten genuinely is talking above him with cutting edge and theoretical physics, or the writer’s approximations thereof. Jack’s experience as a full bird Colonel is leading special forces combat units and I assume some pilot time; he’s no idiot, but he isn’t a multiple PhD scientist either.

I don’t disagree Jack can be a bit flip floppy in his attitude though but he has enough episodes of serious character drama that I personally found him balanced. The early episode where the alien made of crystal tries to help heal the trauma of his dead son is probably my favourite.