*sigh* I read this entire thread and it is demoralizing how some people are so defensive over not being able to say a slur...
Something that I expected to come up be a more central point of the discussion, however, was the serious rates at which gender-non-conforming people experience violence.
The rate at which trans/GNC people experience harassment and violence is staggering, and
Black trans women in particular are the majority of those who are killed because of their gender. Add into this the "
Gay and Trans Panic Defense," which effectively legitimizes violent hate-motivated homicides against LBGTQIA+ individuals and allows defendants to assert the defense in order to avoid a murder conviction, resulting in lighter sentences for those who effectively commit a hate-motivated murder. The defense remains available in most jurisdictions, with the few jurisdictional prohibitions on it only being enacted
within the last two years, and all prohibitions within the last six years, and in the US has been successfully deployed as
a defense against murder conviction as late as 2018.
"Trap" in its use to describe a usually AMAB (assigned male at birth) individual is inherently linked to the culture that created that panic defense, whereby trans and GNC individuals are portrayed as preying on cis-gendered individuals (generally men, though recent bathroom bills also rely on the trope), and, because of that implication of predation, endorses a potentially violent response by generally (but by no means limited to) male individuals.
I'm also going to go on record that if someone personally identifies as a "trap," then that is their decision and should be respected in the same way that many older trans women sometimes refer to themselves as "trannies" or "transvestites:" They get to use the word to describe themselves, but that is the beginning and ending of the legitimate use of the word in the same way that the N**** has different connotations depending on who is speaking it. Even within the trans community, the use of the word is pretty much limited to self-promotion of sex workers. Sometimes your use of the word is simply not acceptable when it is by others because it's linked to dehumanization in a way that simply isn't present when used by an individual to describe themselves.
To conclude this, I'm going to talk about the word "yellow." Yellow generally refers to a
color and can still be used today in a variety of linguistic purposes without issue. But there is one use that is considered taboo in the same way "trap" is in the process of being applied to:
racism. Referring to anything Asian as "yellow" is a racist statement, and the association of east-Asian people with yellow pervades media of a certain age. "Trap" should be treated the same: okay when referring to a device or maneuver designed to covertly ensnare, entrap, or kill; not okay when referring to the gendered appearance of another person.
There's another conversation to be had about fragile masculinity and the toxic trope of associating violence with masculinity (which in turn further stigmatizes GNC people), but that is a much larger conversation than this thread is clearly capable of.